>Good Morning, Internet

>

This is a Boston webcam. Actually, I think it’s Hull, but I’m not sure. It’s from a few days ago.

Here’s one from today that actually shows Boston. It’s supposed to snow tonight, maybe.

I am having yet another foggy day. In a daze. Days in a daze. LOL But otherwise good. Interesting. I remember this from before. I would have either pain or fatigue and fog, but not both together. Then things got weird with more zoloft. I am remembering what I was like when I first got this fibro/cfs thing. It’s doable. I can cope with this, so far anyway. Daze can be fun. Sort of.

Went out yesterday with a friend. It was a gorgeous spring-like day. No coat necessary. We shopped, had a cappuccino at Borders, and went for a little ride. I never get to go for rides anymore…you know, just pile in the car and take off with no destination in mind….so it was very pleasant. Homemaker comes today, so that will be fun, too. Have a lovely day, everyone. Or night, depending on where you are.

>Comments

>If you read them, you know that my friend Jukka wasn’t lost after all, and that my cable company is kind of creepy. Like how did they know I have a blog, and how did they know I posted about them. Nice people, it seems, but still………..

Added another vid in place of ‘Eleanor’, because I could.

I am tired today. I have not been sleeping well for awhile (for ‘awhile’ read ‘ever’) and not taking knock-out pills that don’t work anyway. I am not sleepy, but I have the ‘fatigue’ that comes with ‘chronic fatigue syndrome’. I’ve been lowering my Zoloft over several months, and more of the old when-I-first-got-sick symptoms seem to be getting stronger, but others are lessening. Interesting. I know if I get the dose too low I will be in constant pain. This happened before. I keep trying to get off the meds, but it apparently can’t happen without being even more incapacitated than I already am. The joys of illness, people, are greatly over-rated.

It snowed night before last, melted yesterday, snowed again last night, and there is a bit left here and there. Strange winter here in New England. Whether we are causing global warming or it’s happening naturally, something is definitely going on. Doesn’t it make sense to do what we can to not contribute, even if it is a natural occurrence?

Who watches LOST? It is getting really interesting again, after so long with me just wondering if the writers had a clue what they were doing, and was it ever going to just be over. Guess the answer to both is ‘yes’. No whiny Jack and annoying Kate this time was a good thing, too, although I’m kind of liking Jack more now. I was happy with AU Locke, too, coming to terms with his disability and being happy. Man, is Terry O’Quinn a good actor. He just dominates the screen whenever he is in a scene.

Time for lunch. Leftover pizza, one of my favs. Think I will watch a movie. “Into The Wild” is next in my netflix pile. Last one was “Lars and the Real Girl”, totally not what I thought it was going to be, strangely though-provoking, and really, just weird. I liked it, but I didn’t love it. It was interesting, and the video extras were pretty darn funny. The end. *grin*

>Two Things

>One: I seem to have lost my friend Jukka, and I don’t know why. This makes me sad.

Two: I lost my internet connection several days ago. After trying everything I ever heard of to fix it, I got on the phone with Comcast and a nice tech tried to help with no success. Decided to do a clean install………oooo, scary, right? Not! It was very easy, much more so than I had been led to believe by what I read. Anyway, didn’t help. Back on the phone next day with Comcast where a lovely tech named Hugo worked with me for several hours. It developed that it was not a Comcast problem but man is Hugo ever a geek so he keep on trying to figure out the problem. We tried everything, but after we figured out a driver was missing (where did it go, people? I ask you.) we tried every driver on the disc and none were correct. By then, I was telling Hugo for the third time that he really needed to get back to his job. He did not want to quit, but I insisted. I love Hugo. Yes, yes I do. Anyway, he had pointed me in the right direction and I finally found the file on the Dell site after much messing about on there. So I am back with a ‘new’ computer, and have been re-installing my security software, winamp, vlc, and my fav Firefox extensions. I am one happy lady.

>Not A Great Day

>Didn’t sleep well last night due to leg pain, so dozed on couch and watched tv most of the day. I’m going to see if I can renegotiate my cable package to get back the science channel and nat geo. There is nothing on tv during the day worth watching. I did watch Countdown and Rachel Maddow last night where they had clips from the Pres. talking to the Republicans. The man is freaking brilliant. He can call up facts like Clinton, but even better, he just nails them with the half-truths and out-right lies they try to foist on their sheep…er, followers…out in the heartland. Probably none of them watched it, though. Like I won’t watch Bill O’ or Beck or Fox News. One thing about Fox News though, I do like Shepard Smith. He seems to not just spout the party line all the time, at least the few times I’ve caught a bit of his show. I thought he did a really excellent job during the whole 9/11 crises and have checked him out off and on ever since. So one good thing about Fox News. I’ve also met and conversed with Carl Cameron, who I’m not sure is still on Fox. Smart and articulate guy. Who’d a thought I’d have good things to say about Fox News?

It’s winter. It’s cold. I’m grouchy and I am feeling yet again so freaking tired of feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck. Can somebody please fix me? Please?

>Resolutions

>
I’ve decided to just be completely over politics. It gives me seizures.

Here’s a list by by Frank Lipman that was posted on a blog I just discovered.

Blog:

http://mousemedicine.blogspot.com/

List: 20 New Year Resolutions

1. More Real Food, Less “Food-like Substances”,
2. More Fruit and Vegetables, Less Sugar, Wheat and Corn
3. More Organic, Less Toxic
4. More Chewing, Less Eating
5. More Water, Less Soda
6. More Recycling, Less Waste
7. More Walking, Less Driving
8. More Exercising, Less Watching TV
9. More Outdoors, Less Indoors
10. More Sleep, Less Worry
11. More Calm, Less Chaos
12. More Being, Less Doing
13. More Consciousness, Less Ignorance
14. More Smiles, Less Anger
15. More Love, Less Hatred
16. More Play, Less Serious
17. More Letting Go, Less Holding On
18. More Forgiving, Less Blaming
19. More Generosity, Less Greed
20. More Ubuntu, Less Me!

Ubuntu means what makes us human is the humanity we show each other. It is a Xhosa (South African) word and philosophy emphasizing community, sharing and generosity.

>It Was A Sucky Day

>
My computer is still acting up and I cannot figure it out. Getting frustrated. Has anyone ever done a re-install? It’s all pretty backed up on MozyHome and XMarks, so I think I could do it, just not sure if it’s wise. I’d want to update the drivers and then just reinstall stuff I know I will really use. Sheldon just did it on The Big Bang Theory, and it took a very long time. Long enough for him to try to learn the Finnish language. I like The Big Bang Theory. I can get on-line without the desktop, but just not sure if I should attempt this or not.

The second sucky thing is the comments made by two complete and total fuck-ups about the horrific earthquake in Haiti. Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh. Two people I would not ever think of listening to, but they do get themselves onto Keith Olbemann and Rachel Maddow, The Daily Show and the Colbert Report, all of which I do check out. Disgraceful comments by two hate-filled right-wing bigots. They make me ashamed.

The last is that a bad thing happened to someone I love, and I am very upset by it and by the fact that there is really nothing I can do to help or make it better. I can just sit here and think evil thoughts about the person who did it. People can be such complete and utter shits. These three really do suck and it really is sad.

>Just Another Sunday

>
Computer kept freezing up, no idea why. Finally working now.

New Chuck. Yes! And more tomorrow night. I do like Chuck.

Watching “The Plan” about Galactica. So so, so far.

It is cold. 15 degrees fahrenheit, supposed to get down to 8. Did I move to Siberia and forgot about it?

Finally had a decent night’s sleep last night, and then fell asleep on the couch this afternoon for about two hours. I wish I could get this sleep thing figured out, but after this long, it’s not looking good. How do other people with this illness do it? Anyone?

Spent about an hour rubbing Gertrude’s tummy earlier. She is back to skittish and hiding most of the time, but she curled up next to me while I was reading fan fiction on the netbook, and let me rub her tummy. She really loves that, but is usually just too nervous. Poor thing. Maybe she needs tranquilizers.

That’s about it. It’s freezing cold, dreary, let’s go into hibernation winter. Not much excitment.

>Those Links

>
I did a quick scroll back through and listed the ones that still need fixing. Once they’re done, if you ever get curious (for curious read ‘desperate for something to do’) and read back, you’ll see that my life is a roller-coaster. Pain, no pain: I cooked, I can’t cook: the black hole is circling, I feel great; my brain is working, “What was I just talking about?”; sleeping fine, can’t sleep. It’s a never-ending rotation with this illness. It’s kind of good to look back and see that whatever is going on at the moment has more than likely gone on before and will change to something else soon. Not so great if what’s going on is good, eagerly awaiting change if what’s going on is pain and sleeplessness and black hole-circling. Live in the moment is my mantra. It’s the only way to get through it, and I’ve found over time that I’m actually much happier over-all through living in the moment. Much less stress and pressure. Something to keep in mind.

>Fixed

>
Thanks to Elizabeth in Ontario, who pointed out the little green icon in the blogger tool bar, I have now fixed several links. “Follows directions well” does NOT belong on my resume. I could have even coded them myself, I can do html coding. Do I feel stupid? Nah. Well, maybe just a little bit.

Yes, I am a bad person, but there is no offense intended to those of you who take homeopatic items. I just think this is funny:

Homeopathy Explained

Last bit: NPH won ‘Gay Man of the Decade’ over John Barrowman. It was to be expected. He has a load of twitter followers, and John…not so many. It was a fun contest, and they both deserve accolades for class and humor. But John should have won.

>Fixes

>

(Wrote this last night. Computer decides it’s time to go to bed, so here it is now.)

I tried to do some. Where I could put in the actual vid instead of the link, I did. I hate having to copy and paste a link, but I cannot figure out why the ones on here are not clickable. It annoys me as much as it must annoy my readers, and I am sorry I cannot figure it out. If anyone out there knows how, I’d appreciate a heads-up.

Had a good day. Homemaker, friend came over, and I actually cooked dinner for myself. Was going to watch tv tonight, but sometime into NCIS friend called for pc help. So I just decided to wait for On Demand. Both NCISs are on it, and The Good Wife is too, I think. I’m not devoted to any of these except for the original NCIS—-McGee Is The Man—-so it’s no big deal. I find myself watching less and less tv every week. Sometimes I don’t even turn it on to see if there’s anything on I WANT to watch. I’ve totally bailed on shows I used to watch religiously. I just get bored when the commercial comes on and shut it down. No attention span, or too many commercial breaks? You decide. LOL

>Rant

>That’s right, bollocks! Funk all gone, btw. Thanks for asking. Back to the bollocks.

Been reading a lot of comments about the unbelievably crass and insulting ‘gift’ that RTD gave to our Jack in the final Doctor Ten. Some people are actually okay with it. Some are not. I am in the latter camp. Russell Davies is an amazing writer, if you just don’t pay attention. If you do, you cannot help but notice all the plot holes, the sudden personality changes, the complete manipulation of characters to suit his own whim of the moment. He said in one con interview, in response to a fan, “MY show.” He can do what he wants and the fans don’t matter. Really? Without fans, can there be a show? He said in another interview, that in “They Keep Killing Suzie” the whole point of the episode was to get the two women in the car, presumably to talk about his idea of the afterlife, or lack of one. Not about the characters, not about the show, but about something he wanted to say to the world. Fine. That’s what authors do. But then he destroyed most of his characters. He killed Suzie, Tosh, Owen, Ianto, and he destroyed Jack, right after completely changing him into an idiot. “Lets go yell at the aliens, Ianto. That will fix things.” Dealing with aliens is Jack’s JOB. I know, I keep saying this, maybe not in this place, but I do. In a sit-com, a situation is conceived, and the characters are put into it. The characters are not changed to fit the situation, or the message the author wants to get across. The characters remain true to themselves. This is where Russell falls down. The characters don’t matter to him. Only the situation and the message. The audience doesn’t matter to him either. See quote above. He did actually say at one point words to the effect that fans don’t matter. Logic and continuity don’t matter either, apparently. Jack was an over-sexed narcissist. Yes, he was. But Jack was also a very, very broken man. He had lost everything and everyone he loved. He was tortured, he was killed countless times, he was condemned by his own brother to be buried for two thousand years, dying and reviving over and over again. It’s a miracle he had any sanity left. But he did. The story led us to believe that he did. The story led us to believe that he let down his walls, however reluctantly, just enough to let Ianto in. He allowed himself to love Ianto. Right up to the moment Russell decided Ianto was expendable to Big Dramatic Effect and Jack could just get over it. Because people, love, feelings are only there to be manipulated and crushed. Doctor Who, if you payed attention, is all about loss and pain and regret. I thought it was a children’s show. Anyway, all this death and loss and horror and killing his own grandson left us with broken, destroyed, dead-inside Jack. Here we are six months later. Russell has such respect for his characters that he completely ignores things he’s written about them in previous eps. Donna will die if she remembers the doctor. Donna remembers and lives. Martha leaves to marry Tom. Oh, wait. Martha is married to Mickey. Then, as the final insult, he turns the Doctor into a pimp who ‘gifts’ Jack with a new boyfriend, mainly because he hearts the actor playing the new boyfriend, and with such respect for his character and audience, has Jack just give his big smirk and leer and Ianto, and Tosh, and Owen, and Suzie, and his grandson are all forgotten. It’s all better now Jack, because you have a new shag. The man (Russell T. Davies)is an unbelievable twat. He makes me so aaarrrrgggggghhhhhhhh. And I didn’t even get into the whole ‘Gwen’ issue. Because then I’d have to shoot my computer. Oh, I feel better now. Thank you.

>I am such a loser

>
In such a funk, posted about it, thought it was maybe too harsh, deleted post. It had been twittered already. Here’s the link from the post, for anyone who’s interested:

http://blasphemy.ie/2010/01/01/atheist-ireland-publishes-25-blasphemous-quotes

Being in a funk gets me thinking about things that bother me, and the above is one of them. The things people do in the name of religion just astound and quite frequently disgust, appall, and downright scare me. Ask yourself, what did the icon of your particular religion actually teach, and what was added to that teaching by people who were serving their own needs? A couple of good books I’ve read over the years were ‘Jews, God, and History’ by Max I. Dimont, and ‘What Jesus Taught’. I don’t know the author of the last one.

One thing I said in the deleted post was about buddhism. There are a couple of things in the article about it. One says it is a faith-based religion. It is not. One says it refers to animals as lesser beings, which is only in sects that have imposed the idea of reincarnation on the teachings of the buddha. The buddha did not teach religion, he taught a way of living based on your own knowledge and experience and the evidence in front of you. Basically, it’s about living in a way that causes no harm to yourself or any other sentient being, or the planet. It had nothing to do with god or gods in any form. Just so you know. I urge you to read about it, if you are interested. I have mentioned some good books in my profile.

I don’t like deleting posts, this was only the second one. Both were the result of me being in a foul mood and then reflecting on whether I should put that out there and deciding against. But you know, it’s my blog, and I guess if I wish to write about my foul mood, you don’t have to read it if you don’t like it. I don’t know. I don’t like putting people off, but at the same time, this is blog is about me, with all my faults as well as anything good I may have to offer. Maybe I’m just sick of being sick and having pain and not getting out of here on any kind of regular basis. It’s up to you, readers, if you want to stick with grouch me or not.

>The Best Thing on TV

>

Mythbusters.

http://dsc.discovery.com/videos/mythbusters-dimpled-car-minimyth.html

I don’t have a car, but if I did…..

It’s very cold here, but slowly warming. Up to 25 from 18 degrees fahrenheit earlier. I have been having more pain the past several days, so much so that yesterday I vegged on the couch instead of here at the desk. My homemaker came and the first thing she said upon walking in was, “Why are you there(on the couch)? Is everything okay?”, which tells me I spend waaaay too much time on the computer. LOL It was pretty funny.

I’ve also been sneezing and sneezing and sneezing since the super fixed the ceiling and caulked the window. Allergic to something, I am. Living on allergy pills. Not fun. but it is a beautiful sunny day, so I am enjoying that. The inspector came to check that the ceiling was fixed, and I had two deliveries from Amazon. Good thing I was up and dressed early (for me) today. I am trying the Amazon subscription service for the first time. I ordered a few things like baby wipes and I’ve forgotten what else that I use on a regular basis but can’t always get to the proper store to purchase. So we’ll see if it actually is cheaper and more convenient. Don’t know til I try. You schedule delivery for whatever time period you want, like twice a year for the wipes. They are great for cleaning up after a spill or just making the bathroom look neater. Whatever. Time for lunch.

>Boxing Day

>I went to my friends’ yesterday. I was tired, but felt pretty good otherwise. It was just the three of us and her brother, whom I had met before. We had a lovely dinner and then played games. Poker was one. I don’t play poker, but I won the first hand by bluffing. Yay, me. It was a very fun day and I really enjoyed myself. Then I came home. Misery, misery, misery. Remember the face hurting from the other day? Apparently I am severely allergic to either the paint or the window caulk that the super used, cause I was fine while I was out, but I have been sneezing and feeling horrible since I got home yesterday. Face hurting and all. I could open the windows and try for fresh air and freeze, or I can just sneeze and feel rotten some more. Choices, choices. I hope everyone had a lovely, fun, and happy Christmas, and no allergies.

>Christmas

>
Yes, world, it’s almost Christmas. So here I sit, feeling sorry for myself. My face hurts from sinuses, my body hurts, my legs hurt, I feel lousy all over. It’s Christmas. I want to be happy. But I miss my husband, I miss my family, I miss my life…the one I had before it all went to shit. I can feel sorry for myself once in a while, can’t I? I want to go to my friends’ house tomorrow. I want to celebrate. I want to feel well enough to make the cheese crackers and take the shower and get dressed and go and have fun. I want to. I don’t know if I will. Sometimes, it just gets to me, all of it. I try really hard not to think about past Christmases, remember the excitement of putting things out from Santa for the girls. Planning the dinner, making the rolls to have with coffee and present openings. I miss that life. I miss that jerk Tom who left me and then died. What a lousy thing to do. I can’t even dream that he would come back some day, not that I’d want him to, but still. I miss him. I miss holding his hand. We always held hands. I miss my kids. So I just want to say a big f-ing shit, world, but I still hope you all have a happy Christmas.

>Merry Christmas, Everyone

>Happy whatever you choose to celebrate at this time of year. Best wishes for a wonderful new year to all of my readers. I’m thankful for you all out there.

>Really Good Stuff

>I had to make a new folder in my bookmarks for really good stuff I don’t know where else to file. I was doing my usual thing…following links here and there and reading, reading, reading, when I came across this blog and post. Link at the bottom. I happen to think it’s Really Good Stuff.

Yes, I am not religious. I have mentioned this. I am also not the sharpest tool in the box (thank you Smash Mouth), so when I come across places where people can articulate their arguments extremely well and very understandably, I am a happy reader. On this link are many, many people who do this, saying things I wish I had the vocabulary and thinking skills to articulate myself.

I don’t bother about whether anyone else is religious. If going to church, or holding specific beliefs, or visiting psychics, or casting spells is your thing, more power to you. It’s none of my business. So long as you don’t use any of that to discriminate or deny human rights or cause harm to me or anyone else, that is. If reading arguments stating an opposing view offend you, don’t click the link. It’s that simple.

Here is the link:

http://www.daylightatheism.org/2009/12/open-thread-11.html

>Two Questions

>
Anyone here use Facebook, and if so, what are your experiences with it? Good, bad, indifferent. I’ve heard lots of bad and not much good. Enlighten me, readers, please.

Question Two: Readers, you may know I am totally and completely addicted to Torchwood, so much so that I am currently listening to BBC Cymru, the BBC Welsh Station. The question is, is it really possible to learn a language through hearing it or watching tv programs using it? I know I’ve heard someone say they learned English by watching tv, but really? It all just sounds like gobbledygook to me. Do I have to see it, i.e. watch a Welsh tv station, if that were possible? Even then, I don’t see how it’s possible. Anyone?