>Good Morning, Internet


This is a Boston webcam. Actually, I think it’s Hull, but I’m not sure. It’s from a few days ago.

Here’s one from today that actually shows Boston. It’s supposed to snow tonight, maybe.

I am having yet another foggy day. In a daze. Days in a daze. LOL But otherwise good. Interesting. I remember this from before. I would have either pain or fatigue and fog, but not both together. Then things got weird with more zoloft. I am remembering what I was like when I first got this fibro/cfs thing. It’s doable. I can cope with this, so far anyway. Daze can be fun. Sort of.

Went out yesterday with a friend. It was a gorgeous spring-like day. No coat necessary. We shopped, had a cappuccino at Borders, and went for a little ride. I never get to go for rides anymore…you know, just pile in the car and take off with no destination in mind….so it was very pleasant. Homemaker comes today, so that will be fun, too. Have a lovely day, everyone. Or night, depending on where you are.


>If you read them, you know that my friend Jukka wasn’t lost after all, and that my cable company is kind of creepy. Like how did they know I have a blog, and how did they know I posted about them. Nice people, it seems, but still………..

Added another vid in place of ‘Eleanor’, because I could.

I am tired today. I have not been sleeping well for awhile (for ‘awhile’ read ‘ever’) and not taking knock-out pills that don’t work anyway. I am not sleepy, but I have the ‘fatigue’ that comes with ‘chronic fatigue syndrome’. I’ve been lowering my Zoloft over several months, and more of the old when-I-first-got-sick symptoms seem to be getting stronger, but others are lessening. Interesting. I know if I get the dose too low I will be in constant pain. This happened before. I keep trying to get off the meds, but it apparently can’t happen without being even more incapacitated than I already am. The joys of illness, people, are greatly over-rated.

It snowed night before last, melted yesterday, snowed again last night, and there is a bit left here and there. Strange winter here in New England. Whether we are causing global warming or it’s happening naturally, something is definitely going on. Doesn’t it make sense to do what we can to not contribute, even if it is a natural occurrence?

Who watches LOST? It is getting really interesting again, after so long with me just wondering if the writers had a clue what they were doing, and was it ever going to just be over. Guess the answer to both is ‘yes’. No whiny Jack and annoying Kate this time was a good thing, too, although I’m kind of liking Jack more now. I was happy with AU Locke, too, coming to terms with his disability and being happy. Man, is Terry O’Quinn a good actor. He just dominates the screen whenever he is in a scene.

Time for lunch. Leftover pizza, one of my favs. Think I will watch a movie. “Into The Wild” is next in my netflix pile. Last one was “Lars and the Real Girl”, totally not what I thought it was going to be, strangely though-provoking, and really, just weird. I liked it, but I didn’t love it. It was interesting, and the video extras were pretty darn funny. The end. *grin*

>Two Things

>One: I seem to have lost my friend Jukka, and I don’t know why. This makes me sad.

Two: I lost my internet connection several days ago. After trying everything I ever heard of to fix it, I got on the phone with Comcast and a nice tech tried to help with no success. Decided to do a clean install………oooo, scary, right? Not! It was very easy, much more so than I had been led to believe by what I read. Anyway, didn’t help. Back on the phone next day with Comcast where a lovely tech named Hugo worked with me for several hours. It developed that it was not a Comcast problem but man is Hugo ever a geek so he keep on trying to figure out the problem. We tried everything, but after we figured out a driver was missing (where did it go, people? I ask you.) we tried every driver on the disc and none were correct. By then, I was telling Hugo for the third time that he really needed to get back to his job. He did not want to quit, but I insisted. I love Hugo. Yes, yes I do. Anyway, he had pointed me in the right direction and I finally found the file on the Dell site after much messing about on there. So I am back with a ‘new’ computer, and have been re-installing my security software, winamp, vlc, and my fav Firefox extensions. I am one happy lady.

>Another Meme


Your rainbow is intensely shaded blue, orange, and green.


What is says about you: You are a strong person. You appreciate friends who get along with one another. You share hobbies with friends and like trying to fit into their routines. Those around you admire your fresh outlook and vitality.

Find the colors of your rainbow at spacefem.com.

>Update On A Book Rec, Illness

>Quite awhile ago I posted about this book: “Animals in Translation” by Temple Grandin. I just read that HBO has a movie about her. I don’t get HBO, but I look forward to seeing the movie when it gets to Netflix. It was a very interesting book. Here’s a link to the post:


Now to illness. Good old illness. It’s always there, it never goes away. My pills all quit working so I am just doing the sleep when I can thing. Up all night and then sleep till 3pm yesterday, 2:30pm today. But I feel better. Hmmm. Allergies better today, too, but still taking allergy pill.

Sometimes it gets really hard to cope with all of this. My life is about what I can’t do, which is not what I want for myself. I never wanted my illness to be my identity, so I try to keep an interest in other things besides being sick. Politics, religion, humor. But I realize that the inner ever-present anger comes out pretty strongly at times. It’s been that way recently, I know. I’m angry at the world, at the politicians, at religious leaders who use religion to discriminate and even worse. But at heart, what I am really angry at is life. MY life. After my husband left, and I got over that hurdle, my life had such promise. That job I loved, going to the gym, signed up for classes at the local college. There was so much ahead of me. Then I got sick. With illness came more loss, lots of pain, isolation, loss of dreams and hope.

I was at Border’s the other day with a friend. I used to buy books by the armload when I was working. Before that, I would bring home armloads of books from the library, too. Now, no books. Nothing I want. Nothing that catches my eye. I’m never going to have a garden again, so why buy a gardening book? I rarely cook, so I surely don’t need a new cookbook. I don’t do crafts anymore, so no craft books necessary. I have lost hope. I can’t change anything, I can’t fix anything, I have no power over anything. It hit me in Border’s.

I have lost hope. This is it. This is all my life will ever be. Me, here in this little prison box of an apartment, with my invisible cat. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to hope for, nothing to get excited about. This is depression, people, and I haz it. I did not ask for illness, isolation, loneliness, but I have tried my best to accept and cope with it all. Right now I am not succeeding. There is so much to life, and I am missing most of it. At times like this, I just don’t know how to cope anymore. How to be accepting. How to pull myself up by my bootstraps (bootstraps?) and move on. I just can’t do it right now. I miss my life, my job, my husband, my dreams for the future. But they are all gone and I can never get them back.

>Another Meme

>Because they’re fun.

Your result for What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test…

Balanced, Secure, and Realistic.

27 Impressionist, 25 Islamic, 13 Ukiyo-e, -22 Cubist, -25 Abstract and 1 Renaissance!

Impressionism is a movement in French painting, sometimes called optical realism because of its almost scientific interest in the actual visual experience and effect of light and movement on appearance of objects. Impressionist paintings are balanced, use colored shadows, use pure color, broken brushstrokes, thick paint, and scenes from everyday life or nature.

People that like Impressionist paintings may not alway be what is deemed socially acceptable. They tend to move on their own path without always worrying that it may be offensive to others. They value friendships but because they also value honesty tend to have a few really good friends. They do not, however, like people that are rude and do not appreciate the ideas of others. They are secure enough in themselves that they can listen to the ideas of other people without it affecting their own final decisions. The world for them is not black and white but more in shades of grey and muted colors. They like things to be aestically pleasing, not stark and sharp. There are many ways to view things, and the impresssionist personality views the world from many different aspects. They enjoy life and try to keep a realistic viewpoint of things, but are not very open to new experiences. If they are content in their live they will be more than likely pleased to keep things just the way they are.

Take What Your Taste in Art Says About You Test at HelloQuizzy

>Hello, February

>Marching towards spring. More than ten hours of daylight today. I have had a headache for a few days, allergies I think. Very annoying. Been working on the computer, organizing some bookmarks of things I want to read. Fun. Came across this really nice video for wearing seatbelts. Different than the usual type.

Not really up to saying much today, just spring is on the way, people. Hooray.