>Feeling Lonely

>Couldn’t find a good ‘feeling lonely’ clip art picture. Today has been kind of a ‘feeling lonely’ day. I’ve been cooking (yay, me), and I guess it’s just kind of sad to cook for one. I don’t know. Just been on my own for the past two weeks, except for the Homemaker person two hours on Thursdays. I really need to get a life.

I cooked turkey pie. I love ground turkey. I use it everywhere I used to use ground beef, but this is especially a ground turkey dish-with cheese, too. I love cheese. I also am baking a ricotta cheesecake. For some reason I thought it meant ‘like a pie’ so I was going to use a graham cracker crust from the store. Once I mixed it all, I realized there was no way it was going to fit into the crust. I had a Pillsbury pie crust in the frig, so I put that in a regular pie pan and was going to split the filling. It all fit into the pie crust, so the graham cracker crust went back to waiting for a filling some day. My life is sooooo interesting. LOL



I  voted today.  I went to the town hall which is only across the street and did an absentee ballot, since I can’t guarantee I’ll be feeling well enough to get to the polling place on the actual day.  So I’ve done my duty, and I really hope my guy gets in.  We need change.  Not ‘same old, same old’ fake change, but real change.  They are scaring me anyway with all the hate and fear they are fomenting.  They think that is good for the country?  Really? 

It was drizzly and chilly, but that’s my kind of weather, so I enjoyed being out.  Walking hurt, even though I’d taken three extra strength Excedrins earlier.  I need to do something to get my muscles back.  I lost my muscle strength when I got sick, and even though I’ve tried here and there to exercise, it always causes me to get worse for a while.  Sucky illness.  🙂

>Yes, I AM Up Late

>I am also disappointed in myself that I haven’t gotten more done lately. After my one good day on Tuesday, I’ve been tired every day, either having to go back for a nap or just sleeping most of the day. Sometimes I get really frustrated with being ill. Well, tomorrow is another day, and I am going to be on top of things. I really want to move some more things around so I can get the kitchen more organized. There is just no room to do anything on my what? 3 square feet of counter space when it’s cleared off? It’s not cleared off. Hey, my knock-out pill is kicking in, so off to bed shortly.


It was darn chilly when I got up today, and I had to turn on the heat. I’m trying to keep it low or not use it at all, cause I don’t want to go bankrupt paying for it this winter. I bought heavy clear vinyl shower curtains last year and hung them in the front windows. That way I get light but keep out some of the cold. They are ready to go this year as soon as I’m sure I won’t be opening the windows again.

I’ve been watching ‘Third Rock’ on TVLand. I have been laughing all afternoon. That was a funny, funny show. My favorite is Harry. He cracks me up. Later.

>Another Test

>Your result for Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn?  Or Someone Else?  Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz…

You Are an Audrey!



You are an Audrey — “I am at peace”

Audreys are receptive, good-natured, and supportive. They seek union with others and the world around them.

How to Get Along with Me  

  • * If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don’t like expectations or pressure
  • * I like to listen and to be of service, but don’t take advantage of this
  • * Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit
  • * Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It’s OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally
  • * Ask me questions to help me get clear
  • * Tell me when you like how I look. I’m not averse to flattery
  • * Hug me, show physical affection. It opens me up to my feelings
  • * I like a good discussion but not a confrontation
  • * Let me know you like what I’ve done or said
  • * Laugh with me and share in my enjoyment of life

What I Like About Being an Audrey

  • * being nonjudgmental and accepting
  • * caring for and being concerned about others
  • * being able to relax and have a good time
  • * knowing that most people enjoy my company; I’m easy to be around
  • * my ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
  • * my heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
  • * being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What’s Hard About Being an Audrey

  • * being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
  • * being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
  • * being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
  • * being confused about what I really want
  • * caring too much about what others will think of me
  • * not being listened to or taken seriously

Audreys as Children Often

  • * feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
  • * tune out a lot, especially when others argue
  • * are “good” children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Audreys as Parents

  • * are supportive, kind, and warm
  • * are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Take Are You a Jackie or a Marilyn?  Or Someone Else?  Mad Men-era Female Icon Quiz at HelloQuizzy

>She’s Baa-aack


A while later, I just saw her out of the corner of my eye, moving from here to there.  But I had looked ‘here’ earlier, and she wasn’t there.  I looked everywhere.  Maybe she really does have the gift of invisibility.

Watched the last debate last night.  OMG, as people say.  I am not for McCain, but I used to at least have some respect for him.  But with all the nastiness lately from his campaign, and then last night that horrible fake smile, and the expressions, and also he kept looking to his left, as if someone was there prompting him.  Yes, he has more experience, but Nixon had more experience than Kennedy, and look what a disaster he turned out to be.  $5000.00 to buy your own health care.  Puhleeze!  When you are sick, you can barely get yourself to the doctor, let alone first have to find some plans, assess the pluses and minuses to see which covers and fits your situation, buy it, etc., etc., etc.  And $5000.00?  Has anyone checked the price of health coverage today?  What a sorry mess.  I am getting an absentee ballot, since I cannot guarantee being functional enough on the day to get to the polls, and I do want to vote.  It’s important that we do not keep the people who got us in this mess in office, and I also want to be part of history, electing the first black president.  Or African-American.  Or whatever the politically correct term is now.  I was not old enough to vote for Kennedy, and wouldn’t have if I was.  I don’t want to miss this opportunity to do the right thing.  Enough of the political rant for today.

It is a gray day.  Really autumnal.  Haven’t heard if we’re in for rain or not, but I like rain and always welcome it.  Hoping to get some more accomplished today.  Later.


I did not sleep well last night, so I am very tired today. Not getting as much done as yesterday. Did have the visit from Mary Ellen this morning, folded some laundry, made my lunch, watched tv.

The problem is, I can’t find Gertrude. She usually comes out after she’s sure everyone but me is gone, and I have said ‘treats’ several times and shaken the bag, looked in all the cupboards and closets, under the bed, under the shelves, all the places she usually hides, and no Gertrude She has to be here somewhere, and there aren’t that many places to hide. I know she didn’t go out, because she has never gone out on her own, and will not even go near the door when anyone goes in or out. Gertrude, where are you? I guess I’ll have to wait until she gets hungry enough.

Mary Ellen asked about the cats and so I had to tell her about Simon, and now Gertrude has gone super-invisible as opposed to her normal invisible. Not my best day. But it’s gorgeous outside, so some compensation.



I had a good day.  Got a lot accomplished (for me, anyway).  Cleared up some bedding that needed a better place in the bedroom, turned the table sideways so it fits better in the room, finally put together the Aero-Garden after only a month of it sitting there.  I even ate three meals.  My breakfast drink, a peanut butter sandwich, and Kraft mac and cheese.  Yum, good nutrition.  Ha.  But then I had a bad night.  I don’t like to say ‘bad’ night, or ‘bad’ day, because every day and night is a good thing, but I can’t think of a descriptive word for ‘couldn’t sleep, felt achy, pain everywhere, headache,’ or any of the many other things that come with fibro/CFS.  ‘Fibrolicious’ doesn’t quite have the proper connotation.  Anyway, it’s a gorgeous cool, breezy day and I’m hoping to get some more accomplished.  I also look forward to a visit from the Homemaker Service nurse, who comes to check on me every three months.  I am awake, I am awake, I am awake. 

>Time for a Change

>Found a new site with backgrounds for Blogger, so time to update for autumn, my favorite season. Feeling kind of ‘time to change things again’ ish, and not just the blog. I really am hoping to have enough energy to move a few things around. My teeny tiny kitchen is just too cluttered, and I need to move my shelf back to the hall and make it be my pantry. There’s just not enough room for everything in the kitchen, and this way I can easily see what food I have on hand, too. I thought it would be better to have the heavy appliances, like the mixer, on the counter instead of the shelf, and that means the dry goods jars have to go elsewhere. Thus the shelf becoming the pantry. I just need the energy to move everything.

Gertrude is still the invisible cat, but not as much as she was. She actually walked right by Tess the other day on her way from one hiding place to another. First time ever. No one but me ever sees her unless the vacuum gets too close to her hiding place. Then you see a black streak heading to under the bed. She’s trying to be bolder with sitting on my lap, but is still holding back. She will sit between me and the chair arm, but not actually ON my lap. Poor baby. I don’t know how to untimidize her except by time and patience and just being as nice as I can to her. I try not to scare her, but sometimes I move too fast or laugh or something and off she goes. She’s never going to be like my Simon, but she is sort of good company, and no work to speak of. Empty the litter box, put out the food and water. That’s about all she requires.

My friend Tess has gone on vacation for two weeks, so I am going to be pretty all alone except for the two hours on Thursdays when my homemaker comes. I’m hoping to get up enough energy and gumption to actually go out and go somewhere, like the library, on my own. Lots of extra-strength Excedrin first, of course, or the legs will not cooperate.

But whatever else is going on, it’s autumn. I love autumn. And Chuck. And Life. Two shows that make me smile when they’re about to come on. Smiling is a good thing.


>It’s definitely autumn.  The chill has arrived.  Today was cool, breezy, lots of sunshine, lovely.  Went out with my friend Tess to Walmart to stock up on some items, then back to her house to play with her dog.  Poor doggie has allergies and has been chewing on her feet, so vet prescribed a shot and Prednisone.  No, No, No.  This is not the same little doggie.  No playfulness, no energy, no nothing.  It’s very hard on Tess, and she feels responsible.  I blame the vet for prescribing such a heavy drug for a 14 pound dog with an annoying, not health-threatening condition.  Fortunately, Misty is only on this for a short time, so we’re hoping she bounces back to her old (bouncy) self.  Poor baby.  Poor Tess. 

I am doing pretty well.  The melatonin is helping, even if sporadically, and today I got my scrip for the Zanaflex which almost always works and works well.  So I have two options every day.  Sleep is good.  Not being able to get to sleep is not good.  Sleeping for twelve or more hours at a time is also not good.

I cooked yesterday.  Yes.  Me.  I cooked.  It was very stressful and tiring and painful, but except for that was an easy dish and came out really well.  Chicken breasts, artichoke hearts, potatoes, Parmesan.  Yum.  Happy Fall.



Been taking it a few days now.  It works, almost too well.  I got 3 mg tablets, and even with half of one, I sleep for 12 hours.  Too long.  Night before last my allergies were in hyperdrive so I took allergy pills, not melatonin.  Up all night, finally went to sleep around 5 am, I think.  Woke up at 6:30 pm.  Missed the entire day.  Anyway, took the small half of a melatonin at 9pm  or so, back to bed at 10:30 pm and slept twelve hours.  So here I am.  My life is sooo interesting.  🙂