It’s My Birthday

It’s also the first slightly uncomfortably humid day of the season.  Oh, joy.  NOT!

Yesterday my friend Tess brought coffee, flowers, and a cake for two and we watched Jamie Oliver 5 ingredient cooking shows and laughed.  A lot.  Today I got presents from my DDs and an  ecard from a friend, and am spending the day alone as usual.  As I do every holiday as well.  I am so used to it, but it makes it hard to keep track of time when every day is pretty much just like every other day.  Good thing I am good at making myself laugh.  Crazy is good, people.  🙂

Some Things from the Internet

Stop Free Haircuts?
Really? ‘My god, they’re homeless, they need to get out and make money to pay for a haircut. We cannot allow this to continue.’ So pround to be an American.

Who Needs Librarians?
Well, I”m sure you know I’ve said this before, but ignorance is what is wrong with our country. Libraries mean knowledge. Knowledge means not voting for morally repugnant, self-aggrandizing, under-educated morons. So let’s get rid of libraries and librarians. Yep. The American Way.

Lamps are hard, people
I have several lamps. They each have a switch that I manipulate to turn them on or off. Every now and then I have to replace a bulb. Is this beyond the ken of modern humans? Let me pay 600 dollars for a lamp that will turn itself on and off. Okay.

I don’t know, people. Is there any hope for humanity left? We probably won’t be around long enough to find out, based on the climate shit that is going on a super-speed. So whether or not we lose the ability to turn a lamp on or off will be completely irrelevant.

Cynical Jean would love to NOT be cynical, but it’s just not possible in today’s world.

Finally

I think I am out of the slump I’ve been in.  It just hit me all of a sudden, depression, exhaustion, complete lack of motivation.  Better now.  Hope to get outside a bit today.  I hardly ever go outside, and I really need to get some sunshine.

It’s definitely spring.  Windows open, windows closed, a bit too warm, need some heat.  I love New England.  I am anticipating waking up to blooming trees any day now.  The buds are there, they just need to pop.  This one is April 25, 2005.This one is April 8, 2010

And this one from just now.April 17, 2019.  Not so pretty yet, and trees look pretty sad anyway after that butchering the highway department did a few years ago.  Look in the center right.  See that evergreen with the flat top.  I noticed that a few years ago.  It looks like someone sheared off the top, but I think that’s just the way it grew.  Looks kind of weird, though.

Here’s a closeup. Little fuzzy, sorry about that.

This is how I entertain myself, folks.  Taking pictures of trees, weird or not.  I do love trees, though.  Especially when they’re bare and you can see all the branches.

I have now been sitting here for a good hour.  Finally made the coffee, but still have not got dressed after taking a shower.  I  always seem to run out of steam pretty quickly, and then much later in the day, what ho?  I’m awake and have a bit of energy.  I’d like to have that happen in the morning, but have not figured out how to do it.  But it’s a bright, sunshiny day.  I can see clearly now.  LOLOL

Also, I am using my old desktop with Windows 7.  Compared to 7, win10 is a true piece of crap.  Been using it since I had to retire this one for not working about five years ago, and I had forgotten how different and how much more user-friendly 7 is.  Why do they keep ‘improving’ things that aren’t broken and don’t need it.  It seem that every time I buy a ‘new and improved’ version of anything, it isn’t.  Improved.  At all.  Weird thing about the desktop.  It just quit.  Went crazy and nothing worked and I tried everything I could think of to fix it and finally just set it aside for later and bought a cheap Dell laptop.  Then I started it up again a few months ago,and what do you know?  It works perfectly.  Had FIOS come and set it up because it doesn’t have wireless internet access, and it just works so well.  The Dell laptop came with 8, which I did not want, but it had a free update to 10, so I never actually had to use 8.  But 10 was not happy-making.  Geez, Microsoft, are you ever going to get it right?  Judging by the update problems going on right now, I seriously doubt it.  I’d give Linux a try, but now sure I am up for the steep learning curve.  I have a lot of foggy days, and you need a well-working brain to learn new things.  I believe I mentioned the new Dell that I bought to replace the one I’m talking about here.  You know, the new Dell that is actually a refurbed Dell that does not work even as well as the old one.  Thanks for nothing, Dell.

I really need to go find some food and get dressed, so later, dear reader(s) (???).  🙂

Well, chronic illness is so not fun

I have been consistently waking up around 10 am, which is a good thing.  But then, after an hour or so in a fog, I suddenly need to lie down and sleep.  Didn’t I just sleep all night?  Seriously?  I don’t know how to fix this.  This is just a part of the illness, I guess, but it is so very frustrating.  There are things I want to do. Things I NEED to do, but they just don’t happen.  There is no fix for this, in reality.  So it’s just something I have to live with, along with it being spring.  Lovely, gorgeous spring.  The one where I have no outdoors to be in, no garden to work in, no place to go, and nothing to do.  If I could actually do anything worth doing.  It’s the yearly springtime slump, people.  I will get over it.  I always do, because there is no other choice. Life sucks, and then you die.

Seriously

A quote from a blog review wherein we are advised that “living with chronic pain makes you awesome”.  After just living through several days of much worse than normal pain, accompanied by serious shivering at one point, I would just like to say that awesome is NOT how I feel.  Exhausted is how I feel.  Frustrated, angry, upset that I don’t have enough energy to get dressed so I can go down and get my mail.  Had to cancel Friday’s homemaker, and today’s homemaker cancelled due to illness, so no mail-getting for a week.  No trash going out, either, or laundry getting done, or shopping.

‘Chronic pain’ and being ‘awesome’ are not words I associate with one another, ever.  Just so you know.