I started out oh these many years ago with a webtv thingy. It hooked to your tv, which acted as the monitor. It had a wireless keyboard, so you could relax on the couch and surf. It had picture-in-picture so you could could surf and watch tv at the same time. It had a tv guide where you could get reminded when your show was on, and it would even change the channel at the correct time in case you weren’t paying attention. It didn’t have a hard drive, however. But it was lovely anyway. Then…then…then they sold out to Microsoft. The updates started. Every new update took something away, rather than added something. People started buying actual computers, which I think was Microsoft’s game plan. You think?
Minor sidetrack here: Speaking of selling out, which we weren’t really, Kashi is not Kashi anymore, and neither is Amy’s. Big food has taken over, which means the ideals the companies embodied are long gone, and you can no longer trust the food you are buying from them. It’s America. Greed is good. Food safety and integrity is boring. And not nearly as profitable, which is the only thing that matters anymore.
Anyway, then there’s Microsoft in general. Every new release changes things that didn’t need changing. Here’s a funny thing I saved ages ago, and I’m sorry but I don’t remember from where:
“At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, “If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating, “If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part):
1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash, twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five percent of the roads.
6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single, “This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation” warning light.
7. The airbag system would ask, “Are you sure?” before deploying.
8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
10. You’d have to press the ‘Start’ button to turn the engine off.
P.S. I’d like to add that when all else fails, you could call ‘customer service’ in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car yourself!!
P.S.S. No one over the age of 65 could drive more than one mile before having to have a grandchild come and restart the car.”
Number 9 is the one that relates to this post the most, I think.
Then there’s Firefox. I love Firefox. I do. All those lovely extensions. I can set it up exactly the way I want to make my computer day as efficient and worry-free as is possible. At least I could. Then they started updating every five minutes. Wait, where’s the… Why did they hide… What the f… ‘Where is the new tab button, Firefox’, is the latest query I ask every time I go to click the new tab button than no longer exists. Why? Why do you do this to us? What is the point of screwing with every single workable, makes-life-easier button? I used to be able to reinstall the previous version that I liked, but I can’t even do that anymore. You are forced to take the update or get constant annoying reminders. I keep looking for a workable-for-me alternative, but so far, no luck. Every day is frustrating now, thank you very much Firefox.
Started this post because I found a funny video that brought the rest of this post to mind. Here it is:
In general, I think the computing world is out to drive me even crazier than I already am. Come on, developers, thing of the users for a change, instead of your fellow geeks. It’s like when they assume that because they know how or where something is, everyone knows how or where. We don’t, necessarily. Just tell us, or make it easy to find, or something. Please.
Also, after doing the stairs twice in three days, I am barely workable. Hobbling around does not begin to describe it. It’s like my whole body has gone into spasm. On the other hand, I am in general much better. But it’s spring. Now I can look forward to hot and sticky, as well as everything else I have going on. God, am I getting grouchier, or what?