WE’RE DOING IT WRONG

There’s a book out called The Premonition by Michael Lewis. From the blurb: “…fills in those blanks by investigating the community of researchers and scientists whose work was ignored by government directives.”

Maybe we should be putting into office actual scientists, and doctors, and accountants, and others who understand the modern world and it’s problems and have some idea of things that can be done to help/fix things, instead of politicians, who only seem to know how to get re-elected and dis their competitors.

IT’S STILL MAY

Surprise! LOL Turns out it wasn’t a sinus infection, but a tooth. On penicillin. Having tooth out Thursday. Felt much better shortly after going on the penicillin. Guess it works better than amoxycillin.

Returning my new Moto G Power, because the camera MX does not work, and when I click the gmail icon to share something, it brings up a chat thing instead of gmail. So bye. glad I hadn’t yet switched the sim card. I must be psychic. LOL

Been beautiful days, but chilly and very, very windy. This is I think the fifth day in a row with the trees just whipping around. I like wind. Wish it was warm enough to have the windows open, but noooo. Hoping this vid isn’t too big. Be safe, people. Wear you mask.

IT’S MAY!

As I’m sure you know by now. 🙂

Weird mix of leaves and blossoms. Blossoms used to drop en masse, but haven’t done that in a couple of years. No idea why. Be a better pic if my windows weren’t so messed up because of broken seals. It’s a beautiful day, 67 degrees, clear blue skies, opened window. Yay.

Still feeling horrible. No energy, loads of pain. I will get better. I will.

My new water filter came, but I am not up for the attempt to attach it to the faucet. Need a good day for things like that. I think it will sit on the side of the sink by the frig, so no need to redo my counter again, thank goodness. Will be happy not to have to buy bottled water. So much plastic.

Need to water the plants, fill the pill holders, make some chicken soup. Like any of that is going to happen today. I had a shower and got dressed because it is company day, and was absolutely exhausted just having the shower.

Signed up yesterday for a free month of Hulu and a free week each of Showtime and Cinemax. Already cancelled the Showtime. The two movies that looked good, weren’t, and there was really nothing else that interested me. Have a few movies to watch on Cinemax and then it will be gone, too. Quite a few things of interest on Hulu, which I had cancelled a while back because I realized I wasn’t actually watching anything on it. If I keep it, I will pay for the ad-free version, which I had before, because I refuse to watch ads unless absolutely forced to.

Happy May, everybody. Remember May Baskets? We used to make them in school back in the dark ages. No May Poles, though. Be safe, everyone. Wear your mask.

IT’S THE FRIDAY FIVE

Have not done this in a long time.

The Friday Five for April 29, 2022

1. Do you like other people buying you clothes?

No


2. Have you ever brought a present for someone that they hated/disliked?

Yes. Bought my husband a pair of trousers and Did Not Like.


3. What nicknames do you have/have had?

Jeanie Baby, Mean Jean, Jean the bean.


4. Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends?

Not that I remember.


5. Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

I would hope I’m a good influence, but you’d have to ask them, I think.

OH LUCKY ME

http://csaimages.com/images/istockprofile/csa_vector_dsp.jpg

I have a sinus infection. Called doctor yesterday, will not prescribe antibiotic without seeing me first. But is fully booked, so can’t see me, and I didn’t have any way to get there yesterday anyway. Suggested allergy pill or nasal spray. A few hours later, someone else called and said they spoke to the backup doctor who said I should go to urgent care, which I did today. Got the meds. Yay. Hurt absolutely everywhere. Is this from the infection or just a really bad fibro day or what?

Had fun at urgent care. My friend was playing a word game on her phone and we were cracking up laughing. People probably thought we were a bit crazy, which we both are. Crazy is fun. Nice people at Urgent Care which is in the same place my old doctor was. Am going to try to get a new doctor there, because so not happy with the new place I am going to. I can probably get a doctor, but none of them are taking appointments for new patients til November. Meanwhile, I can go to Urgent Care if I need to. Liking this.

Nice day, more leaves are popping out, but blooms are still gorgeous. Cloudy up. Rain? I like rain. Be safe, people.

DEPRESSION

There’s an article in the New York Times asking if antidepressants are effective. Having experience with that, I have a couple of thoughts.

I had clinical depression, which is very different from situational depression. Clinical depression is when your body chemistry gets screwed up, from what I understand. Situational depression is when you are in an untenable situation and once the situation is repaired or whatever, the depression no longer exists. There is no reason.

So I had clinical depression. It was later compounded by situational depression, so I had a double whammy. I was put on Zoloft, which aside from a mild headache the first few days, had no noticeable side effects. What it did was make me feel like myself. It was incredible. Like, ‘Oh, here I am. Glad to be back.” As it turned out, I was on it for whatever reasons for quite a long time. What I realized when I got off of it, was that while it is a life saver in the moment, and while you are still clinically depressed, after awhile it just kind of masks the problems of the situation depression. Problems not resolved, emotions not dealt with, whatever. It is like being hidden under a blanket and when it is removed, oh, look, you’re still there, with all your problems that you now have to finally figure out how to resolve. I recommend a good therapist. NOT one affiliated with any religion, however. I have friends who went that direction and it did not help them at all. Sorry, religious people.

So just thought I would throw that out there for anyone interested. When you are in the black hole, get help, get the meds, and then get the therapy. It can save your life. And yes, it is unbelievably hard to reach out for help when you are in the black hole, and I was lucky that my youngest recognized I was in serious trouble and took action. I have great kids. 🙂 But make the effort, however hard and fruitless it seems, do it anyway. Reach out to somebody, Anybody. But reach out. You are worth it. Seriously, you are.

OMG OMG OMG

It’s Official!

I am 78 years old. How cool is that? Gorgeous day again, almost 60. Less pain today, but exhausted. Feels like all the energy i my body has drained out my toes, and just holding my head up is a chore. Fun times, people, fun times. So no cooking (or anything else for that matter) today. Yesterday I had a Healthy Choice meal. It was virtually inedible. Rubber chicken that tasted old and slightly spoiled, so dumped it and had Pork Shumai from Trader Joe’s instead. Will not be getting Healthy Choice again. I don’t normally buy them or Lean Cuisine or anything anyway, cause seriously, is any of that real food and low calorie at the expense of everything else that makes food good is not my idea of anything I ever want in my house. If it’s high calorie, just eat a bit less, and don’t eat it every single day. How hard is that? Calorie fanatics have ruined food. Especially frozen dinners. Some used to be quite tasty, and almost like you’d made it yourself. Tyson had one that was really good. Then the ‘OMG calories!’ people gained ground and bye bye tasty frozen dinners. Okay, enough whining about that for one day. LOL

Was talking to my children yesterday, as I mentioned, and it’s kind of disheartening how we are all so stressed about what is happening in the world. Even if we are doing our best to avoid the news and the negativity, you cannot not know what is happening. It’s like everything is going to hell all at the same time, and the worst thing about that is that humanity, instead of pulling together and working to find and actually enact solutions, instead immediately looks for someone else to hate and blame and persecute. It is who we are, it seems. We all agreed that quite frequently, we are ashamed to be members of our own species. How sad. It is such a beautiful world, and we just abuse it and certainly don’t appreciate what we have with it. As we do with each other and every other living species on the planet. Can’t fix it, try not to think too much about it, but it really is disturbing to the max.

front and back, obviously

On the bright side, I ordered a new phone yesterday, supposed to arrive tomorrow. It’s a cheapo moto G power, unlocked so I can keep using T-Mobile. I have bought moto phones since way back when I had to finally give up my Nokia flip-phone that DD 2 gave me. I loved that phone. Moto has worked well for me so why pay a fortune if I don’t have to, and I really, really do not like iPhones based on the ones my friends have. My homemaker has one, too, and it is really crap. Sorry, Apple, but it’s the truth. Personal opinion, but I really do not like. Anyway, am having it delivered to a friend’s house, because I may have mentioned packages are regularly stolen in my building. Relatively new phenomenon, but still very annoying and frustrating. The only plus there is that Amazon is very quick to refund my money. One of the good things Amazon still has going for them. Delivering to my door, like they used to, would eliminate the problem, but apparently one of the richest guys on the planet is too cheap to pay his workers well and give them humane working conditions. I would so dump Amazon if I could. In a heartbeat. But I can’t, because I am not mobile enough to do my own shopping, and even if I was, a lot of things I can only get from Amazon now. What a world. What a world. Thank you Wizard of Oz. LOL

That’s it for today. Have ten bazillion pages of paperwork to fill out for Housing, and have to get a copy of my Social Security Benefits letter. I just want to lie down and read good things on my Kindle. Ah, well. Be safe, people. In spite of what Fox News would like you to believe, the pandemic is NOT over and in some ways is getting worse. If you think you are immortal, remember that not everyone you come in contact with is immortal, too, and your devil-may-care attitude could kill them. ‘It’s not all about you’ is something humanity hasn’t guite gotten yet. We need to work on that.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

Was going to go out with my friend, but of course i have gone into a flare. Woke up yesterday with entire body in pain. Took two 8-hour extra strength tylenol, which did nothing, spent the day on the couch. Same today. Took two Aleve at 10, when I got up, and had oatmeal to keep the Aleve from eating holes in y stomach. Fun start to the day. So seriously doubting I am going to be functional enough to do anything, but that’s life with chronic, debilitating, really, really sucky illnesses.

On the bright side, not only is it a beautiful windy cold sunny day, but I am 78 years old today. How cool is that? I mean, look how long I have survived all this crap. Also, I am already seeing some leaves popping out on one of the trees across the street. But blooms are still going strong, too. So pretty to wake up to every morning, even on the gray days.

WOO HOO

Got to go out today. Went to two Dollar Stores, Walgreen’s for scrips, DQ for a banana shake, and Trader Joe’s. Oh, how I love Trader Joe’s. I wish it was closer, cause I could do weekly shopping there and just have loads of fresh foods, already prepped. Salads and sandwiches and cut up fruit and so much good stuff. Mandarin Orange Chicken, which is frozen and needs cooking, but is so easy, and soooo tasty. Frozen cubes of grated ginger for hot ginger tea.

Was a lot of fun. Hadn’t seen Tess in a couple of weeks, either, so that was good.

The trees across the street are all flowered up now, too. Very pretty, Gorgeous day out. So nice to be outside. Been some time since I was outside. Wish I had a porch, or a yard. Oh, well. But it was a very good day, so happy Jean is tired but happy. 🙂

IN A SLUMP

Not me. LOL

Have been for a week or so now. Don’t want to get up, don’t want to do anything, no energy to do anything, no motivation. I hate when this happens.

It is 65 degrees. And two hours ago I took a picture of the first blossom across the street.

In the center, just above the wires.

And now, two hours later, a different tree has dozens of blossoms just opening. Wish I could take a picture through the binoculars, cause you can really see all the teeny buds and the flowers just starting to open. Spring is sprunging. Finally.

HELPING

Just read an article about ‘helping’, or rather, asking if someone needs help. The gist was, just jump in and do something. If someone is struggling with bags, say something like, ‘Here, let me carry this one for you’, or if they are attempting to move something heavy, grab an end and help push or lift or whatever. When you ask if someone needs help, initial reaction is almost always to say , ‘no thank you’. This is something I have learned through nearly a quarter century of chronic, debilitating illness. ‘Is there anything I can do to help?’ is NOT going to prompt someone to say, ‘Why yes, could you cook dinner for me?’ or ‘Yes, here’s my grocery list. I shop at (name store)’. That’s not how it works. Drop off a ready-to-heat casserole. Ask for a shopping list when you are going to the store. Not, ‘Do you need me to do some shopping?’, but ‘Let me have your shopping list and I will pick the things up for you.’ ‘Here, let me make the bed,’ ‘I’m just going to do a quick vac before I leave, hope you don’t mind.’ DO, don’t ask what to do. Has anyone ever actually called you when you’ve said, ‘Call me if you need anything?’. No. How about, ‘Here, let me clear up those dishes for you.’, or ‘I’m just going to take the trash on my way out.’ Like that. The person you are helping is NOT put on the spot asking you to do something for them, not made to feel like the needy one. These things matter.

I have a friend who always takes the empties and the trash whenever she leaves. She usually doesn’t even mention it, just does it. I have another friend who shops for me every week when she does her own shopping. She just emails me to say, ‘send me your list’. These are the people you want in your life, even if you are a random stranger in a store and they help you get something off a high shelf, just asking what you are reaching for, not if you want them to get it for you. This is what ‘helping’ means. Not asking, just doing.

It’s April. Cold April, but mostly sunny days. Buds look like they could pop any day now. Second floor means eye level with the treetops across the street. Love it. April is my birth month. It makes me happy. Spring has sprung and all that. Although in New Hampshire, that was never the case. Snow, more like. Some of my favorite things for April:

Not there yet. This was before the trees were butchered by the Highway Department.
The Country Diary of an Edwardian Lady by Edith Holden

Is It Me?

Just some things that irritate me.

On a recipe I was reading: ‘substitutes mashed potatoes for parsnips’. Don’t they mean ‘substitutes parsnips for mashed potatoes’? You’re replacing the potatoes with parsnips. What you are substituting is parsnips. What you are substituting them for is potatoes. I see this all the time, and every time, I think, ‘Wait, that’s backwards’.

People who say ‘span’ when they mean ‘spun’. Drives me batty.

People who don’t wear masks in public places. There are vulnerable people out there, just because you’re immune and immortal does NOT mean you should not have consideration for those who are neither. Such narcissistic self-serving selfishness has taken over so many of us. It is disgraceful and I am ashamed of my fellow humans who exhibit this.

That’s all I can think of right now. Very tired today. Woke up at 7:30, fed Miss G, and back to sleep til 12:30pm. The course of the fibro is going really weirdly. I suppose I could say the fibro is being Strangely Peculiar. Ha Ha. Little (very little) joke there. Several days of misery, then suddenly I am better, really better, and able to get things done. Not like ‘sort the mail’ stuff, but ‘move the microwave over there instead’ stuff. ‘Clear off the counter, finally’, stuff. Don’t know what has made the difference. The only real change I can think of is I started taking my thyroid meds at night instead of first thing. But I still have really painful, exhausted, miserable days, so whatever is going on is not a complete fix. I just do as much as I can on those good days, and love every minute of it. Yesterday was a good day except my back really hurt. I think I slept wrong. I was still able to do things, though. Again, serious things. I think doing that while dealing with so much pain is why I am sooo tired today. Whatever is going on, I am just really, really happy to be having these good days. I have gotten a lot of things cleared out, reorganized, rearranged. Happy Jean is happy.

MY NEW FAVORITE QUOTE

When someone else’s choices destroy your present,

refuse to allow your future to be ruined as well.

Its not the life you had planned on or envisioned.

Someone took a sledgehammer to those dreams.

But you can pick up the pieces & rebuild

bigger, better, and brighter than before.

~Hank R Smith 

And here’s a couple pics of the Albert Bridge, in Chelsea, London, which I first saw on The Chelsea Detective.

Isn’t it gorgeous?

WHY DOES THE INTERNET SEEM DETERMINED TO JUST MAKE LIFE HARDER AND TAKE ALL THE FUN OUT OF IT?

Here’s something I wrote to someone today, because ‘rules’. There are now ‘rules’ for shit that should just be for fun or because it makes you happy. Sheesh, people, way to make life even harder than it already is. Anyway a bit tweaked for personal stuff:

Read a post about ‘rules’.  Seriously, everything on line is pretty much ridiculous, if you ask me.  There are tons of things about comparing your reading with others, keeping lists of books you’ve read for that purpose, making reading into a chore instead of a relaxing and sometimes informative pastime.  Rules about blogging. Rules about this that or the other. Made up by who, you may ask. Stupid people, I answer.  Not everything in life is a competition, or a way to make yourself popular or get clicks, or earn money or whatever.  I blog because I have things to say.  Period.  I read because I love to read.  I do whatever I do because it makes me happy.  I couldn’t care less about what other people read, or say how or why I should blog, or whatever rules some moron somewhere has made up for whatever part of life they think they know everything about.  Get off line and do what you love because you love it.  How do you think people survived before the internet started telling them how to live and what to care about?  I lived most of my life without the internet, and I managed just fine, thank you very much.  🙂 Just let yourself be you and do what makes you happy.  That’s really the secret to life, I think.

My town in winter. Just because it’s beautiful.

THINKY THOUGHTS

Here’s a quote from something I was reading. “The U.S. has an illusion of free-market competition in internet service.” This kind of made me laugh, because the U.S. has an illusion of free-market competition in most things, but it really is just an illusion. Competition is disappearing because our government allows companies like Amazon or Microsoft or whoever to buy up anyone who might compete with them. Allows them to buy up companies with better products and destroy them. Lets them do pretty much whatever they want. Pretty soon, one company is going to own everything, and what exactly do we think is going to happen to price and quality then. They can charge what they want and make products as shoddy as they want, and there will be no recourse for us poor consumers out here. Actually, that kind is already happening in some sectors. It’s like the news outlets being allowed to all be owned by one company in an area. This used to be illegal, but now we pretty much get one point of view, probably that right-wing jackass Murdoch’s point of view. Anyway.

The other thing is I am seeing a lot about book-banning and other things that go against the grain. A library board down south has given themselves the power to ban books. One person can cause a book to be banned if the local board is friendly to their prejudices and bigotry and whatever else excuses they use to ban books. So what can we do? How can people step up and fight what is happening in every little town in the U.S.? Start our own libraries? Hand out banned books on street corners? I don’t have the answers, but you know, looking at what is happening in the Ukraine, how individual citizens are fighting back in ways that would not necessary have occurred to me, gives me hope that if people realize what we are losing by standing by and doing nothing, maybe things can change. I certainly hope so. It is frightening, what is happening in my country, and how much it seems to reflect what happened in Germany. What went on that allowed Hitler and his Nazis to take over the country and start a World War and exterminate millions of people. Can’t happen hear, you say? Sorry, but it’s already started. No mass exterminations yet, but surely you can see it happening down the road if we don’t to something to stop them in their tracks NOW. Not later, when it is too late to matter.

Complacency is our enemy. “Why should I care? Nothing bad is happening to me personally.’ That will do it.

We need to step up, people. We need to get them out of our government, out of our libraries, out of our schools. We need to fight back or we as a country are done. Don’t really understand why the Republicans are fighting so hard to this to happen, but we need to fight back. Please. And stay safe. Mandates or no, wear your mask and save lives, not just your own,