My kid would rather eat alone in a restaurant on Thanksgiving than spend time with me.

I am over pain. Why is pain not over me?

Why has building maintenance gone to pot recently, and why oh why is the elevator broken again? It was broken for at least three months just this past spring.

Discussing my health with someone (Yes, it’s a fascinating topic. Or not.) I think what’s been wrong with me all these years is not fibromyalgia, but Prednisone withdrawal. When I first became ill, in 1997, they immediately put me on high doses of Prednisone. When it turned out I did not have whatever they thought, I had to get off it. Took six months. Meanwhile, I lost my strength, my energy, and by a year later, my short-term memory was in pretty bad shape. When I got pleurisy a couple years ago, back on Prednisone, and immediately (within a week) was fine if you take into account that my body has gone to pot after eighteen years of pain and fatigue and miserableness. Now, when I try to cut down the Prednisone, I am right back to pain, fatigue, miserableness. So maybe my body never restarted whatever function the Prednisone was standing in for while I was on it, and I need Prednisone to be functional. Thinky thoughts by someone who is so very, very tired of being ill.

When I turn on the laptop and fire up Firefox today, has the ‘open new tab’ button moved? Why? Why do they keep messing with things that don’t need to be messed with? Does anyone know how to fix this? Anyone?

Here we have The Months of The Year By Tumblr Folk. Made my day. The breaks are because each bit was posted by a different person:

“hot as balls, fuck it it’s school again, halloween, turkey, christmas,

new years, forever alone, windy as fuck, shit its raining, allergies, oh hey its actually decent, wait nevermind,

and a partridge in a pear tree.

By fall out boy”

The ‘wait nevermind’ bit is the default for New England. ‘by fall out boy’ is a Tumblr thing, in case you’re not on. I love Tumblr.

I know I’ve given it raves here. But they dropped the Caprese Salad a while back, and day before yesterday I ordered the Fenway Pasta from my favorites page. Apparently they’ve dropped it, too, but it didn’t tell me that when I ordered on-line. So what I got was penne with marinara, which is the base, topped with a slew of really well-done sliced onions and green peppers, and…a hamburger patty. No delicious sliced Italian Sausage, no cheese…a hamburger patty. Seriously, Papa? You dropped two out of my three favorite things that you carry, the third being the mushroom swiss burger, which when ordered well-done, is fantastic. But you subbed an hb patty for Italian Sausage? What were you thinking? I am very, very disappointed with you, Papa Gino’s. I can’t even find a picture of it.

I have decided not to have it. After doing some research, I find that there are better treatments, and since the polyps are benign, I can just have more frequent colonoscopies (oh, yay) to monitor. Tried cutting down the Prednisone, and even though I only got back to 4 1/2 mgs, from the 5mg I have been on for some time, all the pain and fatigue and miserable non-functioning was back. Yesterday I was a vegetable on the couch, and slept around twelve hours last night. Twelve. So not doing that, either.

Quality of life NOW is my priority, not prevention of something that may or may not happen down the line. My quality of life has been pretty awful for quite a long time, and the small increment of better is worth fighting for, even if it means I have to have bone shots and take extra drugs and all. Being a virtually non-functioning person is not a great way to live, because really, you don’t have much of a life, just an existence. Can’t do what you want, when you want, can’t do what needs doing, can’t cook, can’t clean, can’t go out much at all. Just here alone with the cat, in pain, and exhausted all of the time. Sucks. I actually still manage to find things to enjoy about my day when it’s that bad, usually laughing at something on line, but it is so much better when I’M better and can actually do a little cooking or sorting or whatever on occasion. So not doing the surgery, not cutting the Prednisone. It may be the wrong choice, but it feels right to me.

Everything I do has ramifications. If I bang my hand on the edge of the desk, it doesn’t hurt and I barely notice. Then days later, when my hand hurts and is bruised, I am at a loss as to why that is happening. If I am able to go out with a friend, I am in more pain and more tired for days afterwards. I cannot imagine the ramifications of having major surgery. A month recovery is usual, doctor said, but when you have fibromyalgia, everything is exacerbated, so how long would recovery be then? And I live alone, with no one to look after me during that recovery. If I am even more non-functional than I have been, the cat will starve if I can’t put out food and water for her. How would I survive? No one is going to come and take care of me, and since the surgery is preventative, why would I put myself through this? So I’m not going to.

Really, thinking out loud (typing out loud? LOL). Talking is how I work things out in my head, and since I’m always alone and the cat is a lousy conversationalist, this is what I’ve got to work with. A blog that virtually no one reads or comments on. But it helps me figure things out, so…. Not having surgery. Big sigh of relief.

How horrible for Paris and Beirut. Murder is murder. There is no cause that justifies murdering innocents. I hope the terrorists rot, now, in this life. I don’t believe in wanting people to rot in hell, I want them to rot now, where we can see it.

I am now 420.39 in debt to my credit card company. It was so much fun getting her into the carrier, my friend Tess had to come early and help me. Gertrude was extremely well-behaved at the vet, though. Anyway, my point here is that 1. she hasn’t been to the vet in years 2. the cat carrier has been sitting in the living room for eons, completely ignored by her. I vacuumed it out and sat it near the desk yesterday, in preparation. She avoided it, and me, and mainly stayed under that dresser. So it’s been years since she was in that thing, and she still knew it was bad news. Who says cats don’t think? Or have memories? Or know that the cat carrier means a not-fun time? Picture was done with the pho.to lab app.

Just saw this: “I’m acidic sensory seeking, so I put in a lot of vinegar”

Doesn’t that just mean you like things that are tart?

‘I am salt sensory seeking.’ ‘I like salty things’?

‘I am chocolate sensory seeking.’ ‘I like chocolate’?

What am I not getting here?

just keeps getting boggled by the stupid, stupid people, of which there are waaay too many. The whole Starbucks thing. Seriously, people. People are constantly on the alert for someone else to hate and condemn and disrespect and persecute. What is wrong with us? Anyway, just came across this:
from here:
Left Action
Like today’s faux Christians would ever do any of this. Their Christ is apparently about all those things I mentioned above: hate, persecution, prejudice, judgement, condemnation, disrespect. The actual, real (if you are a believer) Christ would, I think, be utterly appalled and disgusted.

Over the whineys. Whiney is never a good thing. Much less pain today, so maybe stopping the cholesterol med worked. We’ll see. Also, here is my latest favorite song.

I have drunk way too much white wine. Two of these:

And since I am now slightly crocked, and have had a shit day, I am asking myself, besides why is pain back, because NO! I am over Pain, damn it!, does anyone even care if I am alive or not? I spend a lot of effort (for me) signing petitions, emailing people, caring how someone is doing, and I have to ask myself, does anyone care how _I_ am doing? Does anyone ever call to say, ‘how are you? do you need anything? are you still alive?’ No. No one does. No one ever even emails to see how _I_ am. Why is that? Am I really just that awful a person? No one is beating down the door to spend time with me. I did the math. Three hours a week (spread over two days) that my homemaker is here, the occasional time my friend Tess is around, and recently, that is only because she is willing to drive me to appointments, so as the norm for me, I am alone, meaning no humans, no interaction face to face with another human, for more than 98% of my time. I do occasionally interact with a delivery person, but that’s probably ought.one per cent of my life. No, I am not feeling sorry for myself, or looking for someone to feel sorry for me (I hate that), but really wishing that maybe I had been a different kind of person, one that people wanted to know and be in the company of. I know, see, read about, people who have people who actively care about them, and I have come to terms with that fact that I am not one of those people, but sometimes, when my walls start to crumble a bit here and there, I wish I was a different person. I’m not, so I just need to get over myself, I guess.

This is what happens when you drink wine when you are not accustomed to it. Used to be, not so much anymore.

Also, started watching Leverage on Hulu Plus. Forgot how much I liked that show, before the writers ran out of ideas and it just got stupid, like everything does eventually. Watched the first ep of Stargate SG1, too. How I miss sci-fi Friday.

I started feeling crappy again BEFORE I started to decrease the Prednisone. Could be the new med, or the bone shot, but who knows. Let us give you this great drug that will be so good for you if it doesn’t kill you.

Preparing to feel even crappier with lower doses of Prednisone, anyway. I am over pain and fatigue, but they will never be over me, it seems. Oh, well.

I am cooking. Yay. Back hurts when I stand,so it’s chop an apple, sit down, open the package, sit down, etc. It will get there eventually.

Chatted with Moto G about my phone. This guy was polite, unlike the last one there, and I have to get back to T-Mobile about getting the correct sim card nd then trying phone again. DD gave me an older T-Mobile phone, which works, but not all of my apps work, and there are things about it that are annoying, like you can’t turn off notification sounds without turning off the ringer as well. Excuse me?

Decided to google Nexus 7 again, and apparently it’s just your tough luck if yours got bricked by that last update. Loved it. Won’t buy another one.

Got warm and humid. It’s November, Mother Nature. What the heck are you up to?

Saw the surgeon yesterday. Liked him. Apparently, I like everybody, except for one person I used to know, and not-a-real-doctor. Anyway, he wants to remove half my innards as a precautionary measure, I think, but first I have to try to get off the Prednisone, as it can cause problems. This means back to misery. I am so over misery. Oh, well. You do what you have to do in life. Back to cooking.

How is this ‘open windows side by side’, which in Win7 put each window on half the screen? What is this? What? Why? There is a lot I like about 10, but a lot is just damned annoying.

This is what happens when your corporate-owned Congress stifles competition and allows monopolies. See the bolded bit. This whole thing took nearly an hour. It kind of made me laugh, too, since I just read the transcript of Gareth’s Big Finish episode yesterday. Which means nothing to you if you are not a Torchwood fan. 🙂

XFINITY Chat
Live Chat
user JEAN has entered room
analyst Myra has entered room

Myra
11:46AM Hello JEAN_, Thank you for contacting Comcast Live Chat Support. My name is Myra. Please give me one moment to review your information.

Myra
11:46AM Im glad to have you on chat!

JEAN
11:46AM My Issue: Why has my bill increased this month?

Myra
11:46AM Hi, Jean

JEAN
11:46AM Hello

Myra
11:47AM I understand you want clarification about your bill increase, am I correct?.

JEAN
11:47AM Yes. It has increased considerably, and I would like to know why.

Myra
11:47AM I would want to understand what I’m paying for as well. Let me look into your account so we can see what the problem is and get this corrected for you. Rest assured that I will do everything I can to help you with this.

Myra
11:48AM I see you have logged into your account so there is no need for us to verify security thank you for doing that.

Myra
11:48AM May I have 2-3 minutes to check the account , would that be okay ?

JEAN
11:48AM Yes

Myra
11:48AM Much appreciated, thank you so much.

Myra
11:49AM While waiting, I would like to share this information to you. There are self help quick fixes that you can also browse through which will surely come handy in the future; this contains quick fixes with your internet service problems. TYPE in your browser, either of these links: HTTP://XFINITY.SUPPORT.COM/ and WWW.XFINITY.COM

Myra
11:52AM Thank you for waiting.

JEAN
11:52AM No problem.

Myra
11:55AM What I have see here the reason of the increase is that your current package at $ 29.99 good for 12 months, has been expired nad you are now paying the extended promotional price of $ 53.95

JEAN
11:57AM I was not paying 29.99. I have been paying 54.99 according to the September PDF. Now it is 63.95

JEAN
11:57AM When was I supposed to be paying 29.99?

JEAN
11:59AM A year ago, my bill was 51.57. Now it is 80.00. Nothing about my service has changed except what I am being charged for it.

Myra
12:00PM The $ 29.99 was order last 10/22/13 this was expired last 10/22/14 and paying 54.99 good for another 12 months, this also expired last 10/22/15 and you are bnow paying the extended promotional price ay $ 63.95

JEAN
12:01PM My bill is 80.63.

Myra
12:01PM Let me Itemized the bill details

JEAN
12:02PM I can see the bill details. I want to know why I am paying so much more for exactly the same service.

Myra
12:03PM This is because of the promotional price increase after 12 months, Jean

JEAN
12:03PM So every year is a price increase, even though the service stays the same?

Myra
12:03PM Yes, Jean

JEAN
12:05PM This does not make me happy. I do not have money to spare. If I cancel the tv service, according to my current pill, I should then be paying 65.61 for the internet and the taxes, right?

JEAN
12:05PM Bill, not pill, although….

Myra
12:07PM Yes that is right.

Myra
12:08PM I do really undertsand that since im a customer as well.

JEAN
12:08PM And then that will increase in one year as well, right?

Myra
12:08PM Yes the increase will take effect after 12 months.

JEAN
12:08PM What will it be?

Myra
12:10PM Your current service at $ 63.95 good for 12 months will increase to 83.95 for another 12 months.

JEAN
12:10PM

Twenty dollars? Seriously?

JEAN
12:10PM Don’t you have some kind of better deal?

Myra
12:10PM Yes ecey 12 months it wil incraese 20.00

Myra
12:10PM Let em check for the available offer on the account

Myra
12:14PM Thank you for waiting.

JEAN
12:15PM ******Meanwhile, if I keep the tv portion, the price goes up ten dollars a year, but if I only have internet, it goes up 20.00?******

Myra
12:15PM Yes, Jean

Myra
12:16PM Upon checking here, we have double play package for $ 74.95 on my end

JEAN
12:17PM I fail to understand the logic behind this, except how your employers can get more of my money for the exact same service. Not your fault. It seems I will have to leave it as it is then, but I will be checking into Verizon FIOS, as my building is FIOS-ready. So thanks for your help.

JEAN
12:18PM Making sure. If I leave things as they are, my bill will be 90 dollars and change next year. Right?

Myra
12:18PM I do understand that, Jean. we have still ahve an options.

Myra
12:18PM Yes, Jean

JEAN
12:18PM Which are…?

Myra
12:18PM For more offer I can connect you to our sales team via chat, would that be okay ?

JEAN
12:19PM Sure, why not. Thanks again for your help.

Myra
12:19PM You’re very welcome, it’s my pleasure to help!

Myra
12:19PM PLease stay online

Myra
12:19PM Please wait, while the problem is escalated to another analyst
user JEAN has entered room
analyst Mehnaz has entered room

Mehnaz
12:19PM Thank you for contacting Comcast Chat Sales where our top priority is making sure you are set up with the Comcast services that meet your needs. I will be providing you the best customer service experience with the best services in the market.
Waiting for response from Myra
analyst Myra has left room

JEAN
12:20PM Hello

Mehnaz
12:21PM Jean , as I see you wish to get reason of bill increase , am I right ?

JEAN
12:22PM Yes. Apparently the policy is to keep charging more and more for the exact same thing, and then charging even more for less service as well.

Mehnaz
12:25PM Thank you for sharing the details.

Mehnaz
12:26PM Let me check your account details.I will be more glad to assist you today to resolve your concern.

JEAN
12:26PM Thank you.

Mehnaz
12:30PM Jean , as I see you have the basic cable at $10.75 per month + Performance Internet at $53.95 per month + $10 for leased modem .

Mehnaz
12:30PM I see here that your bill went up is because your current promotion has now rolled off to the regular price.

Mehnaz
12:30PM Just a heads up, Jean . All of our promotions are only good for one time only can no longer be extended.

Mehnaz
12:30PM What I can do here is to check if we have an available promotion that will be eligible for you.

JEAN
12:30PM Okay.

Mehnaz
12:30PM We’ll check the best way to revolve your issue alrght .

Mehnaz
12:30PM Can you give me 2-3 minutes to check on the available services we have now please?

JEAN
12:30PM Yes.

Mehnaz
12:32PM Thank you .

Mehnaz
12:33PM rtwI do understand that you want to lower down your bill and get a lower promotion again.

Mehnaz
12:33PM Whoops! Please disregard the typo in my last message!

Mehnaz
12:33PM I do understand that you want to lower down your bill and get a lower promotion again.

Mehnaz
12:33PM However upon checking all my resources, I am sadden that we currently do not have an available promotions online.

Mehnaz
12:33PM What we only have here are the package in the regular rate.

JEAN
12:33PM Of course ot.

JEAN
12:33PM My typos, too. LOL

Mehnaz
12:34PM With other deals , your Internet speed will be lower down .

JEAN
12:34PM So I am forced to leave things as they are, it seems. No choices here.

Mehnaz
12:34PM I can do one thiung for you .

JEAN
12:34PM Thanks for your help.

JEAN
12:34PM Which is?

Mehnaz
12:34PM Jean , since you have been a pretty loyal customer to Comcast, I am more than willing to extend my help here.

JEAN
12:35PM Meaning what?

Mehnaz
12:35PM The best thing we have now is to coordinate to our Loyalty Department who has all the access to all the promotions and discounts.

Mehnaz
12:35PM What I can do here is to escalate a high priority request to get a lower promotion for you.

Mehnaz
12:35PM All you need to do is kindly please call them at 1 866 270 8329 and connect to the Loyalty Department EST Time at 8am-5pm.

Mehnaz
12:35PM I will make sure that the account will be fully documented regarding your request so that our Loyalty team will be guided accordingly.

Mehnaz
12:35PM You can call them I will coordinate with them personally so that you will not have start all over again. Sounds good?

JEAN
12:36PM Okay. Time limit? I have to go out soon, and cannot spend a lot more time with this today.

Mehnaz
12:37PM

I understand .

Mehnaz
12:37PM All you need to do is kindly please call them at 1 866 270 8329 and connect to the Loyalty Department EST Time at 8am-5pm.

JEAN
12:37PM Okay. Do I need a code or just your name or what?

Mehnaz
12:37PM They are also the department to reward all our loyal customer like you.

Mehnaz
12:37PM You just need to say them to connect to loyalty team and told them to check the account notes .

Mehnaz
12:37PM Rest assured that everything is already taken care of because we don’t want to lose a valued customer like you who keep us in business.

Mehnaz
12:38PM I hope I was able to clarify everything for you. Before we end today, would there be anything else that I can assist you with? I will be more than glad to assist you further.

JEAN
12:38PM Okay, great. Thanks again for your help. I guess we are done now.
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