>Discussion With Myself

Since nobody ever comments. Duh! Anyway….invited to my friend’s for the weekend. Great. Love my friends, love to hang out with them, steak on the grill, new house, snow. It’s all good. So why does it cause anxiety? Getting up, getting presentable, remembering what to take, what about the cat, etc.

But I WANT to go. I want to have fun and get away from this box of a flat for a bit. So today, I wake up with full body pain. The issue that is open for discussion is this:

Is the pain my body’s way of saying, “Oh, fun. Can’t have that, now can we?” or is it my psyche’s way of saying, “Oh, anxiety. Too much stress and anxiety is bad. Let’s have some pain so we don’t have to do the scary thing.”

Read a book about the whole ‘pain is your body’s way of protecting you from anxiety and stress’. But is it? I don’t know. What do you do when these issues come up, ‘want to do something, causes stress and anxiety though, so….’

I’d really love if someone with experience with this would comment. Please?

UPDATE: Third option. Coincidence?

>Inhumane Treatment of WikiLeaks Soldier Bradley Manning | Human Rights Now – Amnesty International USA Blog

>Two things that depress and upset me,

Inhumane Treatment of WikiLeaks Soldier Bradley Manning | Human Rights Now – Amnesty International USA Blog


>Agree or Disagree?


Your Blog Should Be Yellow

You’re a cheerful, upbeat blogger who tends to make everyone laugh.

You are a great storyteller, and the first to post the latest funny link.

You’re also friendly and welcoming to everyone who comments on your blog.

I had a good day today. Did some work in the bedroom, remade the bed, made the lemon curd with the Meyer lemons. Not as much pain, and still no brain fog or just feeling crappy in general. Yesterday was all pain, all the time, so I enjoyed today.

It snowed again, and there are icicles hanging off the big light across the street. Don’t recall seeing that before.

It’s really great to be feeling so much better. I feel like I want to do things. I want to cook. I want to organize, I want to make something crafty. Usually, I’m just trying to get through the day without messing something up. My brain is working, people. It’s a good thing.

>Little Update


I haven’t been exercising, because I do not want to make the leg pain worse. On the other hand, even though I did not get nearly enough sleep last night and am tired, I am not foggy. Except for the leg pain, I have been feeling pretty darn good. Also, my skin is dry, because the dewpoint has been in the minuses, but I am not itchy. I’m thinkin’ it’s the thyroid pills. I’m supposed to see the doctor in a couple of weeks, and I’m going to ask for a regular prescription, not just this trial I’m on. It is helping. Not saying it will help anyone else, not everyone has the same issues going on, or that it will even help me long-term. I’m used to meds just stopping working after awhile.

It’s a cold, sleety, freezing rainy day in the neighborhood, folks. And I AM going to make the lemon curd today. I hope. LOL



Yes, it’s very cold today. Beautiful and sunny and COLD. I still have snow piled against my windows from the storm we had a few days ago. It’s pretty neat here. After a storm, the highway department spends a night removing snow from the downtown area, where I live. They plow the sidewalks so people can get around, too. It’s a very user-friendly place to live.

I am still having a lot of leg pain. It wakes me up at night. I don’t think arthritis in my knee explains pain from my hip into my foot, or how I can have an almost pain-free day last week. If it was arthritis, wouldn’t it hurt every day, and why hurt when I’m sleeping and not using my legs? It’s a mystery to me.

My friend Tess bought some Meyer lemons and gave me some. I have never seen Meyer lemons here in New England before this. They smell nice, and look like a regular lemon, except more orange. It seems they are a cross between a lemon and a mandarin orange. I am going to make lemon curd with them. I haven’t made that in a while, and have only had regular lemons to make it with til now. Lemon curd on toast is like eating sunshine in the middle of winter. You can use it as pie filling, or between cake layers, too, although I haven’t ever. I like lemon pie. Maybe I could make a Shaker lemon pie with some of them. I’ve made it with regular lemons before. On America’s Test Kitchen the other day they made one and shredded the lemon slices instead of using them whole. I’d like to try that. Like I’m actually going to cook something. Well, I am going to make the curd. That’s cooking, right?

Anyone want the recipe for lemon curd? Here it is:

Lemon Curd

½ cup Meyer lemon juice (or regular, may need more sugar)
2 teaspoons finely grated lemon zest
½ cup sugar
2 large eggs
½ cup butter (1 stick), cut into pieces.

In a medium sized metal bowl, whisk together Meyer lemon zest, juice, sugar and eggs. Add butter and set bowl over a saucepan of simmering water. The bowl should not touch the water. Stir until thickened (160°F). This should take about 6 – 8 minutes.
Makes just under 2 cups.

>It Snowed

It was beautiful. All over now. Bright sunny day. I am feeling good again except for the leg pain, which is quite strong today. Doctor was so not helpful. Big disappointment. After calling three times, I got two emails, one with two sentences about the thyroid test and nothing about everything else they tested me for. The second was one sentence saying I have arthritis in my knee. I KNOW that. I want to know about the pain that goes up and down the entire outside of that leg, starting at the hip and down into the foot. Nothing. What to do about it? Nothing. Time for a change of doctors.

I got an email from these people asking to post this article. They seem legit and even though it’s not about fibro, it’s about gluten-free eating, which is probably relevant to a lot of you. So here it is:


For those of you who are into this sort of thing, which I’m not but I know her, there is a healer who has done long-distance work on me, and it has helped at relaxing my muscles and making me feel better. I can’t say it will work for everyone, or that it’s any kind of cure or fix, it just made me feel better at the time. Here’s the link:


Please remember, I am NOT recommending either of these, just putting them out there for anyone who may be interested.

>Oh, Well


My life according to Maxine. Woke up in pain with no energy. One day in a row of good days. One is better than none, but it’s disappointing. I’m always hopeful when I have a good day, but only rarely does a second one turn up the very next day.

Still waiting for a call-back from the doctor with my test results. I’ve called three times. They ordered the tests. Not me. So tell me the results, please.

It’s a very cold, bright, sunny day. So that means a big snowstorm is coming tonight. I love snow. I can see it falling at night in the light across the street and it is always so pretty. I like snowy winter much better than sticky summer. Even if it is harder to get around.

Well, back to reading blogs. Me and my couch. We’re quite an item. LOL

>Two Things

I cannot remember to tag things. Duh! Here’s a couple of links I came across while eating breakfast:

Some good information here:


This one. It’s great to spew hate and incite people to violence, but when they follow through…well, that’s another story. I cannot understand Republicans, or why they are so full of hate and venom. Here’s the link:


Sure they weren’t. I believe it. Thousands wouldn’t. These people creep me out. Some of them have even said something similar should happen to our President. Shouldn’t they be arrested for that? I mean I understand free speech and all, but aren’t there issues of treason and such? America, I am so disillusioned with you. Here’s something I’ve said before:

‘ “there’s a huge contrast in the media. Listen to Rachel Maddow or Keith Olbermann, and you’ll hear a lot of caustic remarks and mockery aimed at Republicans, [not] jokes about shooting government officials or beheading a journalist . . . Listen to Glenn Beck or Bill O’Reilly, and you will.” Krugman


EDIT: Okay, so it’s three things or mucho posts as I sit here. Not using my newfound energy. Anyway, I use and love Dropbox. Came across this, which is without a doubt the best answer EVER:

“Why is Dropbox more popular than other tools with similar functionality? E.g. Windows Live Sync, etc, which are free.

Well, let’s take a step back and think about the sync problem and what the ideal solution for it would do:

* There would be a folder.
* You’d put your stuff in it.
* It would sync.

They built that.”

You could just stop there for the perfect answer, but it goes on:

“Why didn’t anyone else build that? I have no idea.

“But,” you may ask, “so much more you could do! What about task management, calendaring, customized dashboards, virtual white boarding. More than just folders and files!”

No, shut up. People don’t use that crap. They just want a folder. A folder that syncs.

“But,” you may say, “this is valuable data…certainly users will feel more comfortable tying their data to Windows Live, Apple Mobile Me, or a name they already know.

No, shut up. Not a single person on Earth wakes up in the morning worried about deriving more value from their Windows Live login. People already trust folders. And Dropbox looks just like a folder. One that syncs.

“But,” you may say, “folders are so 1995. why not leverage the full power of the web? With HTML 5 you can drag and drop files, you can build intergalactic dashboards of stats showing how much storage you are using, you can publish your files as RSS feeds and tweets, and you can add your company logo!

No, shut up. Most of the world doesn’t sit in front of their browser all day. If they do, it is IE 6 at work that they are not allowed to upgrade. Browsers suck for these kinds of things. Their stuff is already in folders. They just want a folder. That syncs.

That is what it does.”

It’s from here: http://www.quora.com/Dropbox/Why-is-Dropbox-more-popular-than-other-tools-with-similar-functionality

Okay, this post is officially done. Srsly. I’m getting up now to vacuum the kitchen. Honest. Really. Srsly, I am.


>I woke up this morning feeling almost normal. I have a bit of energy. I can’t remember the last time I had a bit of energy, or when I felt this good.

Taking it slow, because I don’t want to ruin it, but the delightful bonus of having days, weeks, or months of feeling really, really awful is that when you finally feel relatively good you have all the clutter and mess to clear up. All your lovely energy goes just to catch up, and sometimes you lose the energy before getting even part way done.

I have a homemaker, but she’s only here two hours a week, and in that time she has to do laundry, shopping, cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, errands. There’s no time for extras, even though she’s willing if there was.

I think that’s the hardest thing about living alone. No one to take up the slack when you can’t. No one to bring you a nice cup of tea when you can barely move. It’s all you. There is a good side to living alone, which is you do not have to live up to anyone else’s expectations. You are not responsible for anyone else’s well-being. But no one is responsible for yours, either. It’s a trade-off, like most things in life.

But I am HAPPY to feel good. Happy to have some energy. It’s been a long time, people. A long time.

>New Med


I’m happy to say that I seem to be feeling much, much better. I’ve already noticed that my skin is not as dry and itchy as it has been for quite some time. I seem to have a bit more energy today, and less pain except for the leg pain I had the x-ray for. Hope to get results tomorrow on that.

I’ve only been on the med for a short time, but I am hopeful. I’ll keep you posted, dear readers.

>It’s Still Morning


Still in my jammies, in a total fog, just wanting to go back to sleep. But my homemaker will be here in about an hour, I have to go back to the doctor’s to have more blood taken, and then to the hospital for the x-ray. Noooooooooo. Can’t I please just go back to bed? Apparently not.

This has been the month from hell. Well, not hell maybe, but it hasn’t been pleasant. Tired. So tired, all the time. Pain and more pain. I want to be functional again. I want my body to work. I want to stop whining. I feel like I’ve done nothing but whine the whole time. I hate whining. Where is my positive attitude? Vacationing in Florida maybe? I don’t know. It’s just not here when I need it.

Get up, get dressed, get moving. Just DO it, darn it!! Right. That’s working out for me. NOT!