Why is it, when there is a crises, instead of working together to help one another and make things better, does the worst in humanity come out more often than not.  From the headlines:  armed (because of course we are nothing without our guns, right America?) neighbors in Maine cut down a tree and dragged it across a guy’s driveway to block him in, because he was from New Jersey and might be contaminated.  The fact he had lived there since February was disregarded, because NEW JERSEY.  An old woman was knocked down and subsequently died because she was not ‘social distancing’ enough to suit someone.  People buying up necessary goods to make as much profit as possible at the first hint of trouble.  Even Amazon, so I’ve read, hiked prices on essentials, because we all know how much that poor boy Jeff Bezos needs some money.  Sometimes, I am just so ashamed to be a member of this species.

This is not saying that there are not a lot, and I mean a lot, of good people doing their best and risking their own live to help others.  It’s just so discouraging to see the dregs of humanity out there being…is there even a word for how inhumane they are being?  Hideous excuses for human beings?  IDEK.  I just need to stop reading headlines on line.  When is the next episode of Zoey’s Incredible Playlist, cause I need some music and some laughs.  I am binge watching ER and The West Wing, which aren’t exactly comedies, but do make you feel a slight bit hopeful about the good people who are out there.  Compare the West Wing’s White House to the farce we are now stuck with.  Ours is peopled by those who only care about their own bottom lines and staying in power.  The job of governing, and doing right by their constituents, seems not to be anything they even remotely contemplate.  You voted for them.  I really hope you are happy as you lay dying from this virus that was ‘contained’ weeks ago, according to the orange gas bag you have put into office. And if you could not be bothered to vote, same goes to you as well, because it’s just as much your fault as the ones who voted for him.

Yes, angry Jean is angry.  Again. Or still.  Or whatever. 

Safety with Groceries Video

This is pretty informative.  Learned some things I have done wrong, too.
safety with groceries

I’ve been thinking about this whole situation. I am really hoping that this will finally show what an incompetent buffoon is the orange gasbag whose feet people have been worshiping at. I am hoping we will learn the value of not driving every single place we go, of conservation, of doing with less, of voting for competent people with working brains, all the things that will make for a better living experience. But I have long ago lost hope in the common sense of my species, so am not holding my breath.

On the bright side, individually, people are stepping up and offering help and money and volunteering for things and working in dangerous situations like hospitals without proper safety materials. Individually, we are spectacular. It’s just the overall picture that is disturbing. So many under-educated, willfully ignorant people out there. It is NOT a good thing. I still see people out, some in groups, but there are a lot fewer of them, and much less traffic. Much less traffic. So some of us are getting it.

I am doing okay. My friend Tess and her husband stopped by and took my trash out, which I cannot do even when I am not isolating. I cannot hold up the dumpster lid AND toss the bag up and in at the same time. One or the other, and you need to do both. LOL

I am used to being alone, so am pretty happy with things right now. Weirdo kitty to play with, streaming services, and a zillion books on my kindle, so it’s all good. I would like to go outside sometime, but it’s really much too painful anyway unless I am just getting into a car to sit down again. I used to be better, and am not loving this development of constant back pain at all. I can’t stand for very long or walk very far at all. Woe is me. No, not looking for sympathy, just saying how things are. In general, things are damn good, so there.

Still having an issue with Verizon. Nothing is faster, and now my bill, which was supposed to be a particular number is now 32 dollars more. Why? What? Worse decision I have made in a long time, trying to change things up with Verizon. One hassle after another. So not worth it.

Bright sunny day here. Would open a window if I had some energy, but nooooo. LOL

My oldest Kindle.  Still works, sort of.  This thing has seen hundreds of hours of use.  It’s also my favorite version.  Whoever thought  touch screen tech was a good idea for this should be shot.  So!

Stay safe, folks. Wash your hands, stay in, learn to entertain yourselves. Cannot imagine what it was like for people way back when. They pretty much had to stay home because there wasn’t any place else. Had to entertain themselves, because no tv, no radio, no internet, no Amazon, no Kindles. Sounds pretty boring, but that was all they knew so maybe it wasn’t.



Intended this to be a regular post, but compiling this took awhile, and I need to go cook.  COOK!  ME!  Have suspended my homemakers for the duration, which means I won’t lose my hours, but will lose my current people probably.  My ‘personal chef’.  Drat, the universe hates me.  Anyway,  a lot of things I’ve collected recently, info, entertainment, etc.  I have not checked each one individually, but they are all pretty much from reliable sources.  I also did not take the time to clean up the addresses.  Sorry about that.  Here goes:





















Practical tips to lower your risk of getting sick


Really, Jean? Really?

I just watched a five minute ad for drones because no dialogue but great music.  Music always sucks me in.  That’s why I watched Brokeback Mountain, originally, because the music in the ad just spoke to me.  It’s why I love Grosse Pointe Blank, because music.  And Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist.  Music, music, music.  I am a musical person who cannot play any instrument.  But music just resonates with something inside of me.The joke between my friend Tess and me is ‘there is a song for everything’ because I am singing it.  Every time.  Right now I’m watching a Steam Powered Giraffe vid.  Great group. Abney Park, too.  Love steampunk.  Once had my desktop all steampunk decked out.  Cool, man. 🙂

Theme from Brokeback Mountain

Been reading a lot about the virus, and how serious thinks are getting out there.  I went ahead and cancelled one homemaker for this week, and will probably do the other one as well. She’s the one who cooks, so it will be hard, but they are out there among all sorts of unhealthy people, and I am in a high-risk group.  More than one, actually.  Have to not panic, but still be cautious.  Catching that cold in December nearly did me in, so doubly cautious.  I am the person who almost never gets sick, too, so the severity of that was completely unexpected.

Some good news sources of the non-orange variety are The Guardian, BBC World Service, and I saw some good stuff on Forbes.  I am sorry, but I have absolutely no faith in American news organizations.  None.  I am lucky in not having cable or network, because I don’t see all the dreck that is being put out there.  John Oliver had a clip of Geraldo (remember Geraldo?  Al Capone’s vault fiasco) saying that if you can hold your breath for ten seconds, you do not have the virus.  OMG OMG OMG.  And I’m sure people are out there just breathing sighs of relief to know they are fine.  You truly cannot fix stupid, it seems.

The Guardian

Another thing I discovered: I uninstalled Dropbox, because it messed up somehow, and my computer is actually working as it should. What? I knew it could slow things down, but the practically destroy Firefox and break everything else? So ow it’s just on my MacBook Pro. I love my Mac, but there are things I just can’t figure out how to do that are so easy on windows. So that’s the one I use the most. Good old win10, the worst windows after win8 they ever came up with, I think. I managed to avoid 8 altogether, thank goodness, but could not avoid 10. Oh, well.

Stay safe, wash your hands. stay at home people. Even if you don’t get sick yourself, you can carry the illness to those who are at high risk without even realizing you’ve infected them. Caution is the word.

Reading Update, Among Other Things

Found this today.  https://www.refinery29.com/en-gb/reading-for-fun

So it’s not just me.

DST seems to have really affected me this year.  I am waking up a bit earlier than eleven, which was ten, and today woke up at ten, which was 9, which is around my normal wake up time recently.  But I am awake until quite late (or early, depending on how you choose to look at it), and am tired, tired, tired.  I wind up falling asleep after three or four hours of being awake, sleep for a couple of hours, then I am reasonably wide awake for awhile.  Have a couple of hours where if my pain levels are okay, I can Get Things Done, and then maybe around 8 or 9, falling asleep again.  This is NOT my normal.  Not at all.

Am getting concerned about this virus thingy, which I normally wouldn’t be, but as I mentioned, it has taken three months to feel l fully recovered from the cold I caught in early December.  The one that turned into a really bad illness.  So I do not want to get sick again.  Should I cancel my homemakers?  Should I stock up on water and canned goods, Should I just ignore the whole thing and go on as normal?  I am alone almost all the time anyway, so my chances of exposure is not great, but my homemakers visit lots of other people, and one also works in a nursing home, so I find this worrisome.  I make them wash their hands and use sanitizer when they get here, and they wear gloves, but I have to be on top of it, because they are not that careful.

I don’t want to give them up temporarily, because you know I will never get the one that cooks back again, and this is the first time I’ve had someone who cooks, and cooks well and I don’t want to lose her.  I did briefly have someone who cooked once or twice way back when ,but she quit early on.

Working for homecare agencies is not the most fun or lucrative job one can have.  They do vital work, but are paid by the hour and the wages are very low. They do not get paid for gas or driving time between clients, either.  It’s like teachers.  We do not value those who do the important work in this country.  Our priorities are so skewed.  Play a game for tv and get millions, teach your children to survive in this modern world… not worth much, apparently.

I am trying not to over react, but at the same time, I don’t want to be left here on my own without enough food or water.  Water, really Jean?  Well, if this gets really bad, will there be workers to run the water treatment facilities?  Could that happen?  I don’t know.  The things that run through your mind.  My mind, anyway.  So meanwhile, I am doing absolutely nothing in the way of stocking up, while I ponder.  Pondering is good?

The disheartening thing is the way out government has reacted to this.  There is a lot they could have done right off and didn’t do, because ‘it’s just the flu’.  It’s not.  I read an article about Philly and another place I have temporarily forgotten the name of.  Anyway, Philly, even being made aware the 1918 flu virus was in their area, had a giant parade to support WW1.  Thousand became ill and thousands died.  St. Louis I think was the other place, and they immediately instituted isolation procedure.  Stay home.  Avoid crowds.  All the things they are finally telling us to do.  They had a much smaller MUCH smaller, rate of illness and death than Philadelphia.  Staying home works.

‘It’s the flu, I’ll get over it.’  You may well, but will you have spread it to someone like me, who was thrown by a cold?  Not everyone is in the best of health and able to resist illnesses that healthy people can just cakewalk through.  I know it’s not considered  the thing to do these days, but thinking of your fellow humans is not a bad thing.  I think it’s kind of what the actual Christianity’s founder, Jesus Christ (Christ, Christian, Christianity, get it?) preached.  Care for your fellow human, and other living things as well, btw.  Okay, I think ranting Jean is done ranting for now.  Wash your hands.  Cough/sneeze into your sleeve, not your hand.  Be safe.



What I wanted to rant about yesterday.  Headline:  Is Reading At Night Terrible Or Am I Terrible.

Seriously, the modern self-obsessed world is ruining reading.  Read when you want to read, have 59 books in your To Be Read list, read as few or as many books as you want to in any given time period.  Who the fuck cares? Or set yourself up for continuous failure, continually judge yourself, compare yourself to other readers.  What is going on here?  If you have to read for work or school, that is a different situation, but reading for your own enjoyment or enlightenment isn’t meant to be a contest, isn’t meant to be another way to win or lose the reader sweepstakes.  The saying is, “Reading is FUNdamental”, because it is meant to be an enjoyable pastime, not another way to set ourselves apart from one another.  Labels are everywhere, and being used to create micro us/them categories in every walk of life.  I don’t think this is what all those who have fought and sometimes died for inclusion were aiming for.   I don’t understand my species constant need to judge and compare and use every means possible to set themselves apart, and by ‘apart’, I mean convince yourself you are better than ‘they’ are.  For shame, humanity.  Get over yourself.  Seriously.

Oh, The Ranting

Verizon.  Got new router set up.  Will not connect.  Tried and tried and tried and tried yesterday and today.  No internet, no email, no tv because Amazon FIrestick.  Called Verizon, they had to reboot the box from tech support.  Works fine now, but not as much faster as I had hoped. Oh, well.

Vacuum cleaner died in the middle of vacuuming yesterday.  I am exhausted after having pretty good day, Tuesday, where I got a few things done, and a better day yesterday, with a working brain and I got to go out.  Today I am wiped out.  Using the lidoxcaine patch on my back, so not as much pain there, and took two aleve earlier so less pain over all.  It never is completely gone, but sometimes gets a bit better.

Being super cautious due to the virus thingy, because it has taken almost three months to get over a cold I caught in early December that turned into a disaster for Jean.  Making everyone wash hands AND use sanitizer when they come, and yesterday Tess and I sanitized our hands after every place we went.

My personal chef  (wink, wink) is making me burgers with onions and mushrooms and cheese and toasted buns.  Oh, yeah.  I do like a good burger.

I had another rant, but my brain is sooo fried today.  Maybe I was going to rant about fried brain.  Who knows?  Later, dear people.  Wash your hands, please.  Stay safe.  Trump may be an idiot, but that does not mean the rest of us have to be as well.


A Good Book Review, and Some Thoughts on Fibro

This is a good review with pros and some really good cons about the book, from someone who lives with fibromyalgia.  It got me thinking about my life with this illness.  When I first became ill, I had fatigue.  So much so that driving home from work I would feel almost unable to sit upright in the car.  There was just not enough energy to hold my body upright without really fighting to do it.  I lost all my muscle strength withing a few weeks, I think.  Could no longer go to the gym.  Could no longer buy heavy groceries like juice, because I could not carry them up the stairs to my apartment.  Had to give up the night courses I signed up for at the local college, because I was just too tired to go.  Had to stop taking my laundry to do at work (group home, big house, washing machines) because I could not carry it up and down the stairs.  Next I lost a lot of cognitive ability.  My short term memory evaporated.  I could not remember what I was told or what I did even two or three minutes later.  Not good when you have to give out meds and are responsible for a bunch of teenage girls.  Had to give up my job.  Got tireder and tireder and weaker and weaker.  Had some general all-over pain, but nothing too bad.

Then a few years later, I started having whole days where I had shooting pains all over my body.  It’s my calf, no it’s my upper arm, no it’s my back and on and on.  I would have to stay in bed and just try to sleep through it.  Later on, I developed serious pain, where I hurt everywhere, but nothing was actually wrong.  I used to liken it to phantom limb pain.  Nothing is even there to hurt and yet you still feel pain.  If you twist your ankle, it hurts, but over time it heals and the pain stops. With fibro, your ankle can be fine, but it hurts for no reason, and it never stops.  Ever.  Over time, because you are unable to be as active as you were, your body just gets weaker and more out of shape.  So you develop other problems to go with the fibro.

I remember one day at the beginning, where I got up, showered, got dressed and presentable, got my purse, coat on, and keys in hand, put them all down, and went back to bed.  I had used all my ‘spoons’ just getting ready.  Now, I frequently use all of my spoons just taking the shower.  If I even have enough to do it in the first place.  Assuming you know the spoon theory, which is you start out the day with so many spoons, and each activity uses a certain number of them, and when they are all used, you are done for the day. The thing is, some days you wake up with no  spoons to start with.  Or as I read somewhere, “All my spoons must be in the dishwasher”.

I had to stop going out on my own, because I could not longer walk to the library and back,for example.  It’s a couple of blocks away, btw.  I stopped riding the bus, because I couldn’t be sure if it was the right bus or where it was going to let me off.  I got stranded standing in a snowstorm once, waiting for another bus to come.  Dial-A-Ride, which is a service for elderly and disabled people, is completely unreliable and left me standing (I do not do standing well because major pain) in the snow for over an hour, and I have had to walk quite a distance uphill in the snow to get to a phone and call to see why they never came.  My daughter gave me my first cell phone after this happened a couple of times.  So my world got smaller and smaller, my body got weaker and weaker, and my life just pretty much ground to a halt.  Fortunately, I am a great reader, so do not just sit here surfing channels or staring at the walls.

I met my friend Tess  ^  several years into this, and she very kindly offers to drive me to appointments and takes me shopping and to lunch.  Again, it all depends on how many spoons I have that day, and how much pain I am in, and I have had to cancel at the last minute many times.  I have had to cancel appointments, my homemakers, visits to and from friends at the last minute many times as well.  It took a while for some people to understand that it wasn’t that I just didn’t want to do whatever, I actually was not capable of doing it.

I went from an active life, a job I loved, going to the gym, visiting friends, to a life of isolation, pain, and so much fatigue that some days it’s all I can do to hobble to the bathroom.  If I am lucky, I get to go out out maybe once every two or three weeks, and then only if a friend is driving us somewhere.  I can’t really cook for myself anymore, I need someone to clean, and do laundry and shopping and taking the trash out.  So if anyone thinks that fibromyalgia is not life-altering, like the book in the review seems to think, they truly do not have a clue.  I comment on the vid page about why I think doctors don’t really get it, too.

I’m fortunate that I seem to have been born with the happy gene, and can still find things to enjoy every day, and do not get mired in the misery that it would be very easy to get mired in.  I am not a ‘what if’ or ‘if only’ person, because I just think that’s a waste of whatever small amount of energy I still may have.  I have my cat, and my laptop, and my streaming services, and best of all, my Kindle.  Best, best, best money I have ever spent.  I am on my fourth one, I think.  They get used for sometimes hours every day, so tend to wear out eventually.  There are tons of free books you can get, there is a library extension that will tell you if the book you are checking out is available to borrow for your Kindle.  Click and it’s there, so long as you turn on the wireless  LOL  You just need a library card. Oh, it’s called ‘library extension’. Clever.  There is Kindle Unlimited on Amazon Prime, but you have to pay for that over and above the Prime fee.  I do.

This is not to say I don’t have my down days, because I sometimes do.  I feel alone, abandoned, useless, hopeless, what’s the point.  Then I get over it. I am fortunate in that, because that is a lot of people’s day to day life with this horrible, life-altering illness. I aim to be upbeat in my blog, when I am not just being angry at the stupidity that is running rampant on my planet and in my country especially, and I never want it to seem like I am asking to be felt sorry for.  I am not.  I hate, hate, hate when I go out and run into someone who is just so condescending. ‘Oh, you poor thing’ kind of attitude.  Get thee away from me. Please!  I am not a poor thing.  I am a fighter.  I am not beaten, nor will I be.  So there!  Ha!  And all that jazz as well.  🙂  Done.  Here’s the review:


Ordered from grocery store. Went well. Good shopper.  Asked her about tip.  I had read, but wanted to make sure.  They deduct any tips from person’s pay.  So they are cheated. This is just wrong.  I usually try to tip in cash just in case, but am dead broke at the mo as far as cash on hand is concerned.  This just infuriates me.  Not my lack of cash, but the way greed has destroyed this country.  There is no integrity, everything is about how much profit can I get here? I know someone who works in a nursing home, and she said they had three people to care for 24 clients, and then they decided they could get by with two.  Two people to care for 24 elderly Alzheimer’s patients who need assistance with everything.  I am disgusted with us, dear USofA.  We suck.

Is March

2a (17)

Yay.  Still mad at Mother Nature for the pretty much snowless February.  Really, Mother N?

Finally made it to the clinic and got a prescription nasal spray which actually seems to be helping my head.  Hooray.

Had to call Verizon yet again only to find out the order for the new modem was never even written on my file.  So shipping it now, I hope.  Of course they wanted to charge me more for this and that, and I said no way, Verisonhay.  It’s probably not correct to use Jose there now, so very cleverly did not.  🙂

I have spent literally hours on the phone with verizon reps, who are all super nice and helpful, but verizon sucks big time.  They want to charge for every single little thing, they don’t seem to know what they are doing, they do things without asking or telling you.  I have regretted combining my two bills from the get-go, when they cancelled my phone number without asking or telling.  And then wanted me to pay to have it fixed. Like you already don’t get enough of my money?  Really?

So spring is sprunging, and next week is the extremely hated turn your clock forward crap for no good reason that I can see except to make life harder for us.  It barely saves any energy, and the toll it takes on people’s health has to cost more than any savings realized.  Can’t they just say, never mind, leave your clock alone.  No.  My state, Mass, actually was considering changing to Atlantic time. WFT??? is what I say.  WTF???, Massachusetts.  Just don’t change the clocks and be done with it.  Autumn is doable, but the spring change causes all sorts of issues for most people.  People have more heart attacks right after, too.  Someday, we and our flawed to the max government will go the way of the Roman Empire, and I hope the future generations have better luck than we have had.  But people do not seem to learn and grow, in spite of how it looks.  So wherever we go, there we are, thank you Jon Kabat-Zinn. Okay. Done Jean is done.