>Fake Sugar and Fibro

>I don’t normally eat anything with artificial sweeteners, but my homemaker bought sugar-free ice cream a couple of weeks aga, and it was hot weather, and……I ate it. Didn’t seem to bother me, so I had her get me some more. I’ve had ice cream every day for about three weeks. Root Beer floats, cones, with fruit, plain. And I have gradually been getting worse and worse. Pain, complete lack of energy, more pain, til I am pretty much non-functioning at the moment. Sleeping a lot more than usual, too.

So I’m wondering if anyone else has any experience with this. Do any of you avoid artificial sweeteners? Have any of you had a bad reaction? Are there any other foods you avoid because they cause fibro flares? Let’s share the information, shall we? None of us is enjoying this illness, I’m sure. Maybe we can figure out better ways of dealing with it if we work together. I’m hopin’.


>Remember this? It is gone, gone, gone. I told the a/c guy that once it was fixed, I wouldn’t need it, and was I ever right. It is gray, raining, and 64 degrees. Sweater, blanket, warmer jammies, hot coffee. Root beer floats? No way. It’s interesting how everything is relative, isn’t it? In winter, 64 degrees would be a heat wave. In August, it’s freezing weather. It’s been a really unusual summer. I’m wondering what the winter is going to be like. I’ll let you know, readers.

>Uh Oh

>I have become obsessed with Torchwood, Jack and Ianto, specifically. This is not a new thing. Herein I list my obsessions over the years. First was Lister. Dave Lister, from Red Dwarf. “They’re dead Dave. They’re all dead Dave. Dave, they are all dead. They. are. all. dead. Dave” I love that stuff.

Then there was Johnny Depp in Benny and Joon, my all-time favorite movie.

Next was Crichton, (Ben Browder) from Farscape, the best scifi show ever.

Next was Second Ray (Callum Keith Rennie) from Due South. Love that show. Bought the DVDs.

Wait, there’s more.

I kind of like Wash (Alan Tudyk), from Firefly. DD#1 likes Adam Baldwin, cause she knows him personally. Jealousy alert!

Then there’s this guy, Bae Yong Joon (no relation to Joon of Benny and..)from the Korean soap opera, Winter Sonata. I used to get the Asian channel, and the music from this sucked me right in. Bought the DVDs used off of Amazon.

Okay, who else?
Right. Next is the late great Heath Ledger from Brokeback Mountain. Again with the music sucking me in from the trailer. Stupid boy to be dead. Made me angry.

Can’t forget the Second ever Ninja Warrior champ, Makoto Nagano. I like Ninja Warrior. Those guys are crazy.

Next to last, a couple quick shout-outs to an oldie but a goodie, Clark Johnson from Homicide–Life on The Streets. One of the best non-scifi tv shows ever.


Another to Richard Armitage, the gorgeous soft-spoken actor from Robin Hood and The Vicar of Dibley, the funniest show ever on tv.

And finally———–Jack and Ianto (John Barrowman and Gareth David Lloyd), courtesy of Torchwood, the Doctor Who spin-off. I refrained from posting any R-rated, so my DDs won’t feel quite as much need to put me away somewhere. But I could. Oh yes I could.

That’s our gorgeous men ration for today. Got any of your own? We have comments here, you know. Feel free to point out any I may have let get past me. Obsessing. It’s a good thing.


>The lovely, lovely air-condition repairman came today and fixed the darn thing. It needed a new part. The old one was thirty years old, he said. It is an old building I live in. Anyway, all is now cool and much, much dryer. All of us…..me, the super, and the repair man agreed that we do not like humidity and will never move to Florida, like so many people we know do. LOL

Had a good day so far. Had to move the bed so make easier access to the a/c system in the closet, so kind of rearranged the bedroom, and my homemaker helped me cover the mattress and do some other things in there. I also had to take stuff out of the closet and then put it back after a/c guy left. Not fun when you are trying to work in soup. The putting back was in much more comfortable circumstances, though.

I found another translate gadget, so added it. Tried to get an ’email me’ gadget, but it didn’t work. It’s supposed to scramble your email so spambots can’t grab it, but no. Oh, well.

>Translations, Anyone?

>Just came across this great translation tool which is in the sidebar. I got the picture from here: http://www.flickr.com/photos/mdid/

I love gadgets and gizmos and playing around with things. This one is pretty neat, because not only does it give non-English speakers a chance to read your blog, it could also help you learn another language by seeing what you wrote in that language. Pretty good, I think.

Another sticky day, and I woke up to find that my a/c had a glitch and is not working. Of course it is Saturday, so I can’t really call the super til Monday. If they send out a repairman on the weekend, I can imagine the cost, and the more costs, the more rent will go up, me thinks. The windows are still closed and I have a fan on, so it is bearable. Besides, Bill is going by soon and will maybe clear this weather pattern right out of here. I hope.

Happy Translating, everyone.

Which reminds me of a ‘DUH!’ moment. Awhile back, I was all excited that I had a visitor from Finland. Next day I remembered I had commented on this blog:


which is Finland based. I assume he was checking my blog. This gardener posts lovely, lovely pictures, so check it out.


>and Sticky. Too hot and sticky to do much of anything except emulate the cat in the picture. But yesterday I went to Whole Foods with a friend. Haven’t been in a long time. Got some really lovely fruit….figs, apricots, plums, and more. Just one or two of each. Also got an heirloom tomato, which was tasty but not spectacular. Today I made caprese salad….tomatoes, mozzarella, fresh basil from my Aerogarden, extra virgin olive oil, wine vinegar, s&p. MMMMM. Very nice.

Lots of pain still, but I am managing. I’ve also been bitten in several unrelated places by I have no idea what. I don’t think it’s mosquito, and I haven’t seen anything flying, crawling, hopping or otherwise. It’s always something, right?

Watching a bio of the late, really great Janis Joplin. What is it that the great ones are usually so troubled? We,(me), the great untalented, seem to get through life reasonably well. Creativity takes something from you, or maybe is caused by a lack, or a glitch in the brain. Whatever. She was one hell of a singer, and I was sad when she died. I had all her albums, too. Unfortunately, when husband moved out, he took all the records with him. I have replaced some with cd’s though, over time. I like music of all kinds, with the notable exceptions of most jazz and all country-western. I like western music, just not when it has country attached. LOL

Time for some water, people. Be sure to keep hydrated in the heat, especially if you are ill.


>I updated my blog roll. Yes, I know there are not a lot of fibro/cfs blogs listed, but I am interested in more than my illness, and I hope you are, too. Blogs on any and every subject are out there, and especially if you have mobility issues, you can be connected and entertained and educated and laugh, laugh, laugh, just with your internet connection. It’s a good thing, and yes, I know I stole that from Martha, but I’ll bet she doesn’t really care.

>It’s been a good day.

>I was able to get out with a friend and do a bit of shopping and browsing, had a coolatta and played Big Kahuna on here. I can tell I will not be able to do more than hobble once I have been still for awhile, but having fun is so worth it. Pain and fatigue as a result of doing something fun is so much easier to deal with than pain and fatigue that just happen for no known reason. I know what I’ve done to cause the former, and was willing to make the trade-off. It makes a difference. It is very cool and spit rain off and on, and the air is really, really damp.

We went to Walmart, which is in the process of building more in order to become a super Walmart with groceries and all. It was awful. Why would you choose to walk what seems like miles from one end of a store to the other just to find the few things you might need. It is stale recirculated air, too. Very unpleasant to be in. I am not one who thinks bigger is necessarily better, or that one-stop shopping is a good thing. Friend and I agreed that we will go only when we have something specific to get. No more browsing for the fun of it. Huge, cavernous stores are not really all that appealing.


Does anyone? I don’t. But I just read something about searching yourself on google, so I did a search for strangely peculiar, which I have been using since 1995 btw, and discovered I have been twittered.


Should I be excited, flattered, disturbed? It means my blog is being read more than I thought, which is a good thing, but it also means I should probably step it up and get serious about blogging for people with fibro/cfs. Or should I? Should I just keep it on a more personal note, should I try to become a ‘real’ blogger, or should I just get over myself? Opinions, anyone.

I am feeling much better today, btw. Coincidentally, it is much cooler today, although the humidity is still pretty high. So maybe it really IS the heat, not the humidity. I don’t know anymore. I’m just happy to feel better and be out of the funk and the pain I was in for the past couple of weeks. Life is good.

>Feeling Better


I guess I’m lucky that the depression doesn’t last very long. Thank you meds. I’ve been in the black hole, and I do not ever want to get that far down again.

These pictures are my favorite dishes ever, from my current favorite blogger, which delightful blogger seems to have more dishes than anyone I have ever known. I am very good at sentence construction, you may notice.





>Went to look for some clip art for this post, and instead found several articles on coping with chronic illness. I’m not coping very well recently. But the articles made me feel a bit better. I realize I am struggling again with the knowledge that I will never again be the person I was. Read the decorating magazine, the cooking magazine, the having a nice life magazine, thinking I am that person, or will be that person. You know, the person who decorates their home, who cooks more than the easiest basic food, who does all the little things that make for a comfortable life. I’m not going to be her ever again. I went through this once before (probably more than once) but I haven’t ever really come to terms. I still have in the back of my mind that I can cook that, make that, decorate that, whatever. In my mind I still am that person. In reality I am not. It is hard. It is hard when your life diminishes in scope. When ‘I can’t’ seems to be the rule of the day more often than not. No matter how much I gear myself up mentally, the reality of my physical limitations is always there. I want to do it, I believe I can do it, but I can’t do it.

Today I was going to lunch with a friend. She was to call me this morning to set the time. I completely forgot to turn on the ringer in the bedroom phone. I had a bad night sleep-wise and am still having a lot of pain, so I probably would have had to pass anyway, but I felt like such a loser when I woke up and realized that it was way past the time when she called. I called and apologized. For the umpteenth time. How hard is it to be the friend of someone who is always letting you down, whether it’s within their control or not. My friend understands that I am ill, and does not ever make me feel guilty, but it doesn’t stop me from feeling terrible about always being the person who can’t. Who messes up the plans. Who spoils the fun for someone else. I don’t want to be that person. I don’t like that person. I want to be me again, I want my life back, and it is never going to happen. That makes me very, very sad. I usually am much better at dealing, but sometimes…………it crushes me. I look at the ruin of my body, the messiness that is my apartment, the food that I buy and then can’t prepare, all the gifts that illness has given me. And I am crushed, devastated, miserable, sad. It’s been eleven years since I had to stop working. You’d think I’d adjust to the new me. If only. I just realized…..I am still in mourning for myself. Hmmmmm.

>Something has changed

Not sure what, exactly, but I have been more depressed lately, feeling sad a lot. Maybe it’s realizing that I may never find out what happened to my brother, that most of my family is missing or dead, just being alone a lot again lately, more pain, nothing on tv, any reason I can think of. I just feel sad a lot. Maybe I’m frightened. I seem to be losing more mobility as time goes on. It’s getting harder to do the things I want/need to do. Maybe I’ve been better for so long that I’ve forgotten that sometimes life is like this with illness. I don’t know. I just want to feel better, physically and emotionally. I want to not be in pain all the time. I want my garden back, my life back. I guess I just want to feel sorry for myself today. So I am. I’ll be better tomorrow.

>Another hot day

>Turned on the a/c last night in the theory that it is easier to maintain lower humidity than to achieve it.

Been foggy and pained lately. Not fun. But I have a plan, and except for today I have been following it to the best of my ability. Each day I have done one more thing on the schedule I’ve set to get me through the day actually accomplishing something. Only I slept very badly last night and was a zombie this morning, then fell asleep for four hours on the couch. Have I mentioned that I love my couch? I love my couch.

Now I am doing my favorite ‘I’m not up for doing anything’ stall, playing on here. Took a Border’s survey, not the highlight of my day, but hey.

I’ve been struggling again with being alone a lot, but too much pain to even try to get out by myself. I haven’t even made it downstairs to get my mail since last Tuesday. Living alone is great, but not all the time, like when you just want a cup of tea you don’t have to make yourself, or some food you don’t have to fix, or your mail you don’t have enough oomph to get yourself. You can order in food, but you have to have cash on hand, which I don’t at the moment.

One thing I’ve found is the need to explain that when I say things like the above, I am not asking for sympathy, or to be felt bad for, or even help of any kind. Just relating an observation about my life. Does anyone else run into this mind-set? Having to explain yourself? I don’t as much as I used to, but still on occasion find it happening.


>Had a muscle spasm in my right hip that started Saturday night as I was getting ready for bed. Could not stand at all for about 12 hours, but then I was able to make it to the kitchen and take some zanaflex and ibuprofen. A bit better today, but have to move very gingerly. I sometimes get back-stiffening spasms before I get out of bed, so I usually take a zanaflex before bed anyway. It also helps me get to sleep. Those don’t really hurt, though, and this hip one was extremely painful. A silly thing I’ve discovered is that if you make noise, even just saying, “Ow, ow, ow” over and over again, it seems to help. Not sure why. Takes the focus off of the pain maybe. Yesterday was not a fun day. Once I was able to move and take the pills, I put myself on the couch and stayed there til this morning. I love my couch. *big grin* The pain, not so much.



Wow! I had a visitor from Finland. I’ve also had one from Israel and one from India. Now if only some of you would comment. I know it’s not the most interesting or informative blog out there, but still…………It would be nice to get to know some of you who have viewed these pages. *smile* I started this just as a way to write down what was on my mind here and there, but as I’ve read more blogs, I’ve really started to enjoy being ‘out there’. I read a lot of blogs with information on any number of things, but this is more just a ‘here is a small window on my journey through life with an illness, and whatever rambling thoughts pop into my head along the way’ kind of blog. It’s fun, even if no one reads or comments. It gives me an outlet for my feelings, and helps me keep a more upbeat outlook, cause I don’t really want to be too depressing if anyone comes across this. Illness is hard, but life is still good and very worth living. I laugh every day, even if it’s just at LOLCats. So if anyone out there wants to just jump in and say ‘hi’, it would certainly be a highlight of my day.

>Almost Gone

I almost moved my blog, since I am having such issues with Blogger, but it seems to work okay in the Safari for Windows browser. Several things in Firefox have ceased to function, like editing this blog in any way or replying to comments. Animated radar on weather sites, too. Why? The little man who lives in the computer decided against having things work. It’s kind of like this:

“Yesterday it worked.

Today it is not working.

Windows is like that.”

So is Blogger.

The Haiku is from here: http://www.rickyseabra.com/windows_haiku.html