>Remember the test that I skewed way over on the ‘Why yes, I am a guy’ side? Just found this on my test blog from June:

You Are 8% Girly

Um… you’re a guy, right? If not, you’re the most boyish girl in the world.

And for you, that’s probably the ultimate compliment.

>Four Links

>to stuff you wish I’d stop posting, but I wont. Not sorry about that. LOL

The first two are about what they say they are about. The third is about the Republican pledge, the fourth is just darn funny, some of the comments especially.





Bill Maher interviews Pat Tillman’s brother:

>It Is Self-Pitying Rant Day

>At the old homestead. It is gray and cool, with a north breeze coming in my windows. Not ranting about that. Ranting about the darn CFS, life in general, feeling like crap stuff.

Slept ten or eleven hours last night, in a daze this afternoon, with not enough energy to scramble an egg to eat for….what’s a good word for breakfast eaten at 2pm? Too late to be called brunch. I know I should eat after I get up, but I’m usually too foggy to even decide what to eat, let along dump the cereal in the bowl and pour on the milk once I decide to fall back on that bowl of cereal, as usual. Some really healthy but yucky stuff Amazon mistakenly sent me instead of what I wanted. Twice. Twelve boxes of yucky but healthy. Oh, joy.

I’ve been more ill than usual since my day out, so the house is a mess, the guys are coming sometime starting Friday to prep the central heating for winter. I’ve lost my friend Jukka yet again, my friend Tess has been incapacitated with a bad back for weeks, and my friends Beth and John are moving an hour away. Woe is me.

Whine, whine, whine, along with a good dose of moan and groan thrown in. It is what it is, right? I just have to get through it. Rats. Feeling sad.

>More Things

>Recovered from my day out, then bit by the CFS bug again, sleeping, being awake for a couple of hours, more sleeping, awake a couple of hours, for almost two days. Not sure if it’s done. Last time this happened, it lasted for six weeks. Not a good thing.

The other Thing: If you at all remember the Fells Acres case, this will be relevant. Even if you don’t, this is very interesting and disturbing. It touches on something I’ve addressed here before: the lack of critical thinking and how people can so easily believe things that are clearly not true. The writer addresses this briefly, and helps with understanding self-delusion in a way. I think it gives me more hope for this country to understand that people can convince themselves of anything, rather than that they are just plain idiots. Not sure about that, though. Do you have to be an idiot to be able to convince yourselves of things that are clearly not true? Have I convinced myself of things that are clearly not true, and just don’t realize it? God, I hope not. Like most people, I like to think that “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.” (Al Franken) How can I be sure. How can anyone be sure of anything?

I find this very confusing, and somewhat frightening. I have to fall back on this saying of the Buddha: Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.
Here’s the article:


And another:


>Two Things

>First, I am finally recovered from last Saturday’s outing. Walking like a regular human, or one with fibro, anyway. Still basking in the memory of such a fun, gorgeous day, too. It was worth the recovery time needed to have such a day. I will always choose fun if I am at all functional. Life is too darn short to spend it being miserable and angsting over what I can’t do. I choose to enjoy what I can do, when I can do it, and just bide my time through the rest.

Second. This video. It’s good advice for any kid, not just those who are gay. Watch it and see how good the advice is.

>A Special Day or Two

>Yesterday was a very good day. Went with my friends to see their new house, went to the local winery, the local brewery, the beach, to dinner, and home. Lovely day. The water was calm and peaceful, the weather perfect, not hot or cold, big clouds in the sky but lots of blue as well. Today is a recovery day, since I am relatively immobile after yesterday, but it was so worth it. I have the best friends ever, and not just the two from yesterday.

The second special day:

Today be ‘Talk Like A Pirate Day’. Who Knew? They even wrote a song about it.


Here be th’ lyrics:


Me pirate name is a couple of posts down.


>I love Amazon. I buy stuff from them all the time. I’ve signed up for their grocery subscriptions, which mean you can have items delivered automatically on a schedule you choose, at a discount, and with no shipping charges. So I get Meusli delivered, six boxes every six months. Last shipment was the wrong product. You can’t return cereal, but I emailed them earlier this evening to mention it and ask that it be corrected for the next shipment in six months. I’ve already had an email back that they have already shipped a replacement order, no charge. I was Not expecting that. I love Amazon.

>What’s Your Pirate Name?


My pirate name is:

Mad Jenny Rackham

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You have the good fortune of having a good name, since Rackham (pronounced RACKem, not rack-ham) is one of the coolest sounding surnames for a pirate. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

>My Life Today

>So. I was up for a day and a half and then slept all day yesterday til 5:30pm. So I’ve been up all night again. I have an appointment here any minute (when she gets here) or else I’d probably be on the couch.

I closed the bedroom door to keep the cat in here, because she hides under the bed all day and what’s the point of having a cat if she’s going to be invisible? She comes out at night when I go to bed so she can walk around and over me many times til she’s ready to settle (HA!) and sleep next to me. For five minutes. Then she has to change position several times, change sides several times, get up and eat something, come back and walk over me to get to her preferred side. Is it any wonder I don’t get a lot of sleep? LOL Right now she is hiding under the shelves where I keep the computer paper and discs and such. Okay, that’s it. Can you tell I’ve been up all night? LOL


>I don’t spend time wishing things were other than they are, the way things are is what I have, so I make the best of it. I think that’s how I get to be happy in spite of being alone 95-98% of the time, and being in some level of pain 100% of the time.

Just watched this weeks’ ep of Rubicon. Reviews and comments sometimes complain that it’s slow. I like that about it. It’s not like LOST, where every week I just wanted to find out what it was about so it could just BE OVER. With Rubicon, I don’t even think about the solution to the mystery. I just love the journey. I love the interaction of the characters. I love the team and their workings in figuring things out. It’s just a joy each week to immerse oneself into that world. If you don’t watch it, I kind of feel badly for you.

>Sooo, I’ve been thinking

>About that test I took yesterday. I was kind of interested to realize that I was pleased when I skewed way over to the male side. Why? I think I don’t really like girls/women that much. From the time I started school, I always hung out with the boys. They were more fun, played better games. Girls seemed catty and petty and superficial. I wanted to hang out with the guys. I wanted that freedom that males in our society have. My brother got to do a lot more fun things than I did. He got to learn to swim. My sister and I didn’t. He got to make messes in the back yard while working on his bike. I had to stay in and help CLEAN. Ewwwwww. Different expectations based solely on gender. So, my peeps, I have been musing on this. It has occurred to me, way too late, as most things in my life have been, that I spent most of my life trying to be something I was not. I was not cut out to be a wife and mother. I hate housekeeping, I don’t love cooking, I can’t sew, I own an iron, but haven’t used it ever.

I love when I finally, finally figure things out. Life is a never-ending learning experience. That’s what makes it so great.

I was a terrible mother. Ask my DDs if you don’t believe me. Why? I didn’t have a clue. I grew up with an alcoholic father and our lives were constant chaos and upheaval. My mom did the best she could, but really, we had no normality to our childhoods, and therefore no idea how to parent. I’m much better at things now. Too little, too late.

I wanted to be an explorer, a jet pilot, a cowboy. All things girls didn’t even consider as possibilities when I was growing up. At least, not any girls I ever knew.

Someone said that maybe I don’t like being a woman. I don’t think so, was my reply. But I have never been girly. I do not like make up, dressing up, wearing skirts and dresses, heels and stockings, primping and fussing. I want to get up, throw on my jeans and shirt, and go. Life is waiting. Course now that I have this fibro thingy, it’s a moot point, but the feeling still lives within me.

I feel really happy to have realized something about myself that I wasn’t consciously aware of til I took that test.

I don’t wish I were a lesbian, I like men…I’d just rather be a guy, I think. Or else live in a world where I could just be me as I am. Which I can, except that I can’t.

If I’m not making any sense, well, I think I don’t care. I’m just enjoying putting this in black and white for myself. After a lifetime of always feeling out of place, like I didn’t belong and didn’t get the joke, I finally actually like who I am. I like me. I am happy. I have fun every day. All by myself, usually, just me and my computer. Also, it’s another gorgeously frabjous day. How can anyone not be deliriously happy just to be alive.

>What ho?

>Yes, DD’s, I did post this exact same stuff on my other blog.

First, I took this series of tests, and it turns out I AM A GUY! Who knew? I’m not even gay or anything. It was a lot of fun,though, taking the tests.


And here are reviews of the BEST new show you are not watching, you silly people:


It was a glorious, frabjous perfect autumn day today. Cool, sunny, white puffy clouds, although it did become overcast briefly around noon. Breeze wafting the curtains, and it was NOT hot and sticky. Let’s all celebrate.


>Today in Massachusetts, it is the first day of meteorological autumn. It is 95 degrees Fahrenheit with a dewpoint of 65. There is also a bad air alert. I’ve had the a/c on since Sunday.

On the other hand, I am having a good day. Sorted through some junk, and also through some papers in my desk. Did a little shredding. I like shredding. It’s fun. Not much pain today, so that’s a good thing, too. Yesterday I slept til after 2pm cause I had a headache and mucho leg pain. Today is better. That is all. LOL