First Snow

And it is coming down. When I got up at 9, you could almost mistake it for rain, but it just keeps getting heavier and heavier and the trees are coated and cars and even the parking area across the street is getting coated. I love snow. It’s only just above 30 degrees F, too, so a bit chill. I have my heater fan on under the desk.

It’s almost change the clocks time, too. Means day ends much sooner. Would be okay I guess if I was an early riser, but sadly, I am not now nor have I ever been. I am a definite night owl.

Had a pretty good day yesterday, took three ibuprofen, which helped. Today, not so great. Allergies, sinus headache, tired. Took two 8-hour Tylenol, will see if they work as well as the ibuprofen does, although I know two is not really enough. I try not to take too many too often, because I like my liver. 🙂

Am I the only one dreading election day? Last time, I did not turn anything on for a couple of days, cause I just did not want to know. Was a crushing blow when I did. I hope this time goes differently, but I am not overly optimistic. I ask myself how anyone can think the orange man is a good choice, but then I remember the article I read about how we don’t all see the same information. Algorithms feed you more of what you’ve already seen, so you only really get one point of view if you get all your news from Facebook or whatever. The one that reinforces what you already saw. This is so bad for all of us. Differing points of view make it easier to make good choices. I have kind of given up trying, though. Whatever happens, I will have to live with the consequences, and so will the rest of us. Scary if things go on the way they have been for the past four years. ;(

This was taken a couple of hours ago. Was trying to post more, but for some reason I cannot download from gphotos to my hard drive, or send them to Dropbox and have them work. WTF? Just going to enjoy looking at the snow. Can I take a photo with my laptop? 🙂


Major flare popped out of nowhere. Started last night. Fingers hurt, then hands and one foot started cramping. Could not hold my Kindle and had to sort of prop it to continue reading. Then, when I woke up today, everything is hurting. Bend my knee to get more comfy, thigh muscles start to hurt so have to move again. Hands hurt, feet hurt, everything in between hurts. Even my teeth hurt. And on and on. Don’t know what brought this on, but then I never do. Will be better tomorrow, she says confidently. Meanwhile it’s me and the couch, with the occasional Gertrude thrown in. I did manage to feed and fresh water her, so yay. Hope everyone else is having a good day, and have either voted or are about to.


I am worried about one of my friends, because she told me today she and some friends got together at the friend’s house. Inside. She seems to be taking more and more risks, and nothing I can say makes a difference to her. I decided against having the homemaker come in and will just have her do shopping, because she comes here directly from the nursing home where she works. I do not think I am irrational about this. I may have mentioned ten or twenty times about being ill in December, and I doubt that was the virus. I was really, really sick and breathing was very difficult, so I do not want to risk getting the actual virus because I don’t think I would survive. Seriously. My friend could bring home the virus to her husband, even if she didn’t get sick from it. Not my business really, and nothing I can do anyway.

Thinky Thougts

Dressing my self this morning, and it was not going well. ‘Why is everything always so much harder than it needs to be?’ popped into my head, a thought I have probably at least once a day. Nothing ever seems to go well. I can’t do anything in the kitchen without making some sort of mess. I run into things. I omit steps in cooking because I just can’t stand there long enough to do everything, if I can even cook at all. Everything I do seems to be harder than it needs to be, harder than it used to be before my body betrayed me.

Then something else I’ve been thinking about a lot popped up. How would I manage if I was in jail, or a concentration camp, or a refugee camp? Privacy, access to hygiene materials. Clean anything. I sometimes think of all those anti-maskers. I would imagine they would be the first to collaborate with the enemy to avoid any inconvenience to themselves, because they are obviously the only ones who matter.

I read that a restaurant in NH closed rather than ask their patrons to wear masks, because it’s their bodies and they can risk them if they choose. No concern at all for the people who do not choose to abandon masks and become ill from these selfish and self-centered people. Does no one think about the fact that they are not the only ones whose lives they are risking? Do they not understand contagion? Do they just not care?

I am listening to some good bass notes on Pandora. Right now it’s Jungle, by X Ambassadors. I do love some good base-centric music. Drums. Yes. Lots of beat going on. Makes me want to move, which is not something I am usually too enthusiastic about because pain. I wake up in pain. Before I’ve moved at all, and it just goes on all day. Today I took three ibuprofen, because I really need to get a couple of things done, and not being able to stand up straight or for more than a minute or two is not helpful. And two ibuprofen are not enough. I have a high pain tolerance, but I also need a lot of medication to combat it when it is just too much to deal with.

It is gray again today. No rain, no snow, just gray. Bah! Also, humbug! The 7-eleven across the street closed down yesterday. Signs gone, dumpster in front, and some guy is over there tossing things today. I don’t think they would have lasted even without the pandemic, because they just never did the business that L’il Peach or Tedeschi’s did in the same location. No booze. Booze brings in the customers, that seems a given. So one business left in the mini-mall and that is the laundromat. They drove out the hair salon several years ago, by raising the rent to an unmanageable level, and the shop has sat empty ever since. Like foreclosing homes and then leaving the houses to rot. How is this a good business model? Is there some invisible to me financial advantage to leaving shops and homes vacant and rotting? Which reminds me. Watching the West Wing (finished last night) and the Chinese ambassador was dealing with the Chief of Staff who was trying to make a deal for something. I give you this, I make that easier, if you do whatever. He was very snarky about the whole thing and wound up saying this, and remember, this episode is from 2005 or 6, fifteen years ago. He said ‘Your American Dream is financial, not ethical’. And how true is that. We don’t destroy governments to help the citizens, we do it because we want access to oil or other resources. Greed is our motivation, not humanitarianism. I remember when we were told we are the beacon of freedom for the world, and everyone wants to be us or be here. Yeah, right. We all drank the koolaid back then, it seems. Because it was never true. Ever. We even experimented on our own citizens without their knowledge. We overthrew governments, we did a lot of really bad things that if another country had done them, we would be shouting for punishments. Disillusionment. It’s hard to take. And yes, I would not just complain but change things, if I had even the vaguest idea of how to do that. Remember, more people voted for Hillary Clinton, but the Electoral College decided for us that they liked Trump better.

Still Here (cannot preview this, so hope it posts. I hate the block editor, WordPress.)

It was mentioned that I haven’t posted in a bit. Sorry about that. First, I could not focus or settle to anything, then I have just kind of shut down. Doing nothing. NO thing. Napping and reading and the odd bit of streaming watching. Almost through The West Wing. Really do not like the ones after the booted Sorkin. Depressing.

I have been alone too long, and it always messes with my head when that happens. But I will prevail, sooner or later, and get back to my normal bouncy, fun, interesting self. Oh, wait, I think that’s someone else, not me. Anyway. I always get over this eventually, so no reason to think it will be any different this time. Just getting back on the laptop after several days, and replying to a friend’s email and now writing here…these things help me not to keep feel like I am alone in the universe and no once actually cares. My homemaker is coming Tuesday after a couple weeks without, and she is nice, so that will cheer me up. I am really nervous about the whole homemaker coming in thing, but I cannot run the vacuum on my own or take out the trash, so I have to take the risk. Anyway. Hoping to post something positive and enlightening sometime soon. LOLOL I can feel the black hole, but refuse to be pulled in.

Black Hole of Depression


Finally. We are in sad need of it. I like rainy days, too. It’s chilly and gray and may turn on the fireplace. Am having coffee with cinnamon in it. Just sprinkled some in the basket before turning it on to brew. Very nice. Supposedly cinnamon is good for you, too.

The muscle relaxer prescribed by my doctor helps with the pain. Not enough, but some. Unfortunately it is wasted, because all I do is sleep, so pain is not an issue. So I had to quit taking it. Being awake is a good thing in the daytime. I’m thinking chiropractor or acupuncture or what? I don’t have a clue what to do. It’s very debilitating, because most of the time I can’t even stand up straight, or stand up for very long. Wash one dish, go sit for a bit. That kind of thing. I cannot seem to catch a break. Every time one thing seems to get better, something else pops up to mess things up again. I did get a regular homemaker for once a week. Not for very long, I just tell her what’s most important, like unloading the dishwasher and vacuuming, she does it and goes. She takes the trash out, too, which is a good thing. I used to get 4 hours a week before the pandemic. I think I’m lucky to get any time at all now. The people who do these jobs, and working in restaurants, and stores and whatever are risking their lives for us. I’m not sure lot of us appreciate that.

Got my ballot, filled it out, need someone to take it to town hall for me. I am not mailing it, and I’m sure you have read enough about the Post Office to know why.

AND, they have messed with WordPress again and it is the block editor page that I had done away with some time ago. Cannot figure out how I did it, so I guess I will learn to use this. Why does everyone feel the need to fix things that aren’t broken?

I need to figure out something for winter, because I am already getting a bit wonky from the shorter days and the isolation and the closed windows. I need a project or something. Something I can do in spite of pain and cramping hands and whatever other fun things mother nature sends my way.

Meanwhile, it’s October. I love October. It is so colorful here in New England.