And It’s A Light Bulb Moment

Had a bit of excitement a bit ago.  Someone screaming for help in the hallway.  Next door neighbor had fallen, so ambulance was called and all taken care of, but when I first heard her screaming, I was lying on the ouch in a lot of pain.  Managed to get to the door, out into the hall, convince another neighbor to stop grilling her about why she was in the hallway and just call the effing ambulance, waited, talked to EMT’s, etc.  The Light Bulb moment is that I am letting the pain dictate.  I can actually function to a certain degree, it’s my mind-set that is holding me back.  Good to know.  BTW, don’t waste time grilling people who are hurt, just call the effing EMT’s.  Sheesh!   Made sure the dog had food and water and her apt. door was locked, so she is in hospital now, and nosy neighbor is back where she belongs.  And I am enlightened.  It’s all good.

New Doctor

was a disaster.  I went for a physical.  I had exactly fifteen minutes.  No time to ask, answer questions, discuss my issues, or deal with the pain problem.  First I need to do preventive medicine things, like get a mammogram, and go back in a month.  Meanwhile, Pain?  Excuse me?  Going to get the blood work done, but then am NOT going back there.  She kept saying, ‘there isn’t time for this’.  Sorry, why am I here?  Why are you here? On the plus side, it’s really made me step up and recognize that my well-being is up to me, and if there is no fix for the pain, I need to find ways to live with it, because no one else can be bothered to help.  Angry, but determined.  I will not give in.  I will not give up.  I am a fighter, so I will fight.  But, damn, pain gets old fast.  Also, it hurts.

Update:  Here’s an interesting article I came across yesterday.  The author states very well what it’s like to live in constant pain that seems to have no cause and no cure.


I’m Back…

I think.  I’ve wanted to be back for a while now, but was afraid any post would just turn into a big whine, and nobody wants to read that.  But as an update, I will say that I have been in various forms of pain, some completely debilitating, since the end of November.  I spent around two months in bed or on the couch, because I was completely incapacitated by the pain.  I am making a slow recovery, having the odd good moment here and there where I can actually make toast, or take a shower, or some little thing that would not have counted for effort before all this. I’ve only been out of the apartment five times since November 21st.   681317I also had a lovely time with a pain med my FORMER doctor prescribed, which I only took for four days, but during that time I had hallucinations and a complete disconnect from time.  There was a Monday night where I keep falling asleep, waking up thinking I’d slept for hours, only to find it was still dark.  Did I sleep 24 hours?  Is it day?  Is it ever going to be day?  It was quite entertaining.  Well, maybe not.  And still, the jury is out on what is actually the problem.  After fifteen years of being told I have Fibromyalgia/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, it turns out not.  I guess that’s just what they say you have when they haven’t a clue.  Thank you, medicine.

Anyway, seeing a new doctor Wednesday, and am hoping to convince her to ignore what all the previous doctors have said/done, and just start from scratch.  And give me something for the pain.  So I can function.  We’ll see how that goes.  I’ve kind of lost faith in the medical profession.

Meanwhile, I’ve been reading fan fiction, reading blogs, trying to keep connected to the world.  I was crushed to read that Google Reader was being killed, but immediately discovered Feedly, which I so far like even more that I did Greader.  If you don’t know about feed-readers, it means you do not have to check a blog, or any on-line news or magazine,  every day to see if there’s a new post.  They just automatically appear in your reader, saving eons of time and energy.  Could not get by without one.  Feedly seems the easiest to move over to if you already have Google Reader.  It will just transfer all your feeds, and it’s very easy to add new ones.  So far, I recommend it.

I’ve found I’m cutting back more and more on watching tv, even on my Roku, where I have Amazon, Hulu, and Netflix feeds.  Most things are just boring.  Except Castle.  I love Castle.  And Elementary, even though I was sure I would hate it.  Watson is NOT a woman.  But if you look at it as an AU, it’s really a very good show.  It’s just about characters who are called Holmes and Watson, but not THE Holmes and Watson.  If you get what I mean.  LOL  Big Bang Theory, of course.  I love The Big Bang Theory, even though they have upped Sheldon’s part and made him hundreds of times more annoying.

Today I met my neighbor and his little dog, too.  My favorite saying since I saw Jack say it in the first (I think) ep of Will and Grace.  Who knew The Wizard of Oz would have such an impact?  Over The Rainbow is apparently designated as the greatest film song ever, too.  Anyway, I foolishly signed up for the Beer of the Month club last summer.  Which is lovely, and I’ve had some outstanding beers, none of which are Budweiser.  I hate Budweiser.  It is to beer what sewage is to fresh water.  Yes, I have an opinion.  Deal with it.  🙂

My point is, the delivery of said beer sucks.  There is no notification that it’s being/been delivered, and is just dumped in the outer lobby where anyone can walk off with it.  My neighbor, unasked, has taken on the task of bringing it up to me.  He left me a note once, but today he knocked to let me know it was here, so I met him and his unbelievably gorgeous dog.  What a beautiful animal  A big dog, golden and white, with short hair.  Don’t know the breed, but am going to ask, for sure.  Dog barks a lot, and could use some Dog Whisperer magic, but lord, is he beautiful.  And friendly.  Neighbor is pretty nice, too.

It’s good to be back.  I’m pretty sure no one actually reads this who I don’t know personally, since no one seemed to miss me.  So I write for me.  So what?  I like to read.  LOLOL Later.