Yes, I know it’s not Friday, but I missed this post back then.  🙂

I mean NO!  What a disaster.  I took the last 200 mg Wednesday the 20th, and it wasn’t until Monday, the 25, that I was back to anywhere near usual pain levels.  I was in seriously debilitating pain for days.  I could barely move, could barely hobble to the bathroom with my cane to hold me up.  It was miserable.  My joints all felt swollen and painful, my hands felt like clown hands, you know fat fingers with no joints, and were very painful throughout.

I was losing my words, losing my place in space, my asthma went from barely there to using my proair two or three times a day and allergy pills every four hours.  It was not a good thing, so thank you again doctors, and stupid Jean for letting them convince me yet again to try something that I didn’t want to try.  I tell them every time: if there is a one in a million chance of side effects, I will be the one.  I took one pill that was meant to help me sleep and instead made me so hyper I could not be still or shut up.  That was fun.  I called the pharmacist that time (always ask the pharmacist, not the doctor.  They only know what the drug reps tell them, is my take) and she said I need to stop that particular pill immediately because it was doing the exact opposite of what it was meant to do.  Chronic illness is a blast, people.  One fun experience after another.  Modern medicine contributes a lot of that fun.  A lot.

I just want something that will ease the pain without killing me as a side effect.  How hard is that, modern medicine?

On a bright note, I bought the cutest little one mug percolater from Amazon.  I have made coffee with every kind of pot except this one:

Here’s my new one:

Took 200 mg last night, per dr’s orders.  Did not get to sleep any earlier, but had a very hard time waking up and slept til noon.  However, over all, I am much better today.  Much.  Am going to take 100 in the am, and 100 at night and see how it goes that way.  I know someone who takes 900 mg per day, so 200 is still a very low dose.  Hoping for no side effects because of that.

A couple of things.

Trump was signing bibles.  Seriously, I get the man is an idiot and probably senile, but his followers?  What on earth is their excuse?  My country.  IDEK.

Brexit.  Why don’t they just say it was a horrible idea and drop the whole thing?  How hard is that?

Daylight Saving Time.  Same thing.  Just drop it.  No need to go to Atlantic time or whatever, just start work an hour later if you’re that worried.  Or is it an hour earlier?  I really hate DST.  The spring one is just untenable.  Takes for ever to adjust.

Do you realize how stupid our species really is?  The things we do, the rules we make, the horrors we inflict on one another and on other species?  Saw a thing about how earth would do without us, because there is a small island that has been uninhabited for 90 years, and the ocean around it is thriving, because no human detritus, pollution, or waste is affecting it.  We are really the parasites here, doing the damage and ruining life for all the other species.  Except maybe cockroaches.  They seem pretty resilient.  Ewwww.

Gabapentin not doing anything, so waiting to hear from doctor about upping dose.  Pain is not fun.  At all.

Read a post about mental health and praying to get better.  Apparently there’s a belief that there is something wrong with you if praying doesn’t cure your mental health issues.  Does that work for broken legs, and other things as well?  I am so glad I am not religious.

The other thing is intrusive thoughts.  I spent quite a long time in therapy, and the most important thing I learned is to say firmly to myself ‘STOP’ whenever an intrusive thought pops up.  It takes consistency, like anything, but eventually it becomes an automatic response.  It made all the difference to my life.

I have kind of given up on my laptops with win10, and am using the old desktop with win7.  Win7 is so much better and user-friendly than 10.  I forgot in the interim, but now I am amazed at the difference.  At least I skipped over 8, which I did not ever see one good thing about.  Newer is not always better, Microsoft.

I have been.  The cymbalta messed up my sleep cycle, and the pain has been getting worse by the day, even though I haven’t taken it in a couple of weeks.  Maybe it’s NOT the cymbalta?  Anyway, doctor convinced me to try gabapentin, the lowest possible dose.  Took it last night, and less pain today.  Not a lot less, but less anyway.  Still have an overwhelming need to lie down after being up for two hours.  And that’s the other thing.  DST.  I hate DST with a passion, especially the spring change.  My normal wake up time of 10am is now 11 am, thank you for nothing.

There has been a lot to rant about recently, but I have been in too much pain, and my computers have been such annoyances, I haven’t.

Here’s one thing.  Not really a rant, though.  A book.  Wouldn’t it be great if that was the problem, and it suddenly got fixed?  The level of stupidity humanity seems to have fallen to is frankly terrifying.  And now, I really need to go lie down.  🙂

Brain Wave
By Poul Anderson
From a Hugo and Nebula Award–winning author: When Earth finally escapes a magnetic field that has been suppressing intelligence on the planet for ages, humans and animals alike become smarter than ever before — changing the fabric of society.