Not enough to do any good, but some is better than none, I guess. Bad night, couldn’t sleep, bad day, lots of pain and slept some this morning and again this afternoon. Had plans, things I wanted to get done. I should know better than to ever make plans, because my body always steps up and says, ‘Nope. Not happening.’ Stupid body.

Just finished another good book. Mrs. Saint and the Defectives, by Julie Lawson Timmer. Right before that one was The Storied Life of A.J.Fikry, by Gabrielle Zevin. Not your usual run-of-the-mill books, but interesting and quirky and really good, both of them. One of the Amazon downloads I mentioned a while back was really, really good, too. About a gay Muslim man and his struggles with his life and his family, but not in a negative depressing way. I liked it a lot and couldn’t put it down. It is This Way Out, by Tufayel Ahmed. I found all three of these to be very good reads.

Anastasia Neibauer

Reading helps a lot when you are not feeling great, taking your mind off your moanie-groanies. I’ll try to remember to post books I’ve read and like more often. 🙂


Some of the leaves on the trees across the street are dying. The trees have looked a bit wonky for a week or so, and yesterday there was one yellow leaf on one tree, and today there are quite a few leaves on both that are just done. We are in a severe drought here in Mass., and we have had droughts in New England before, but I never remember anything like leaves just up and dying from lack of moisture. I took a couple of pictures, but they seem to have vanished. Weird.


So well. After that relatively okay day, it was just pain every day. Body pain, not fibro pain. No idea what the problem is. It’s been great weather though, but still no rain. Anyway, here’s today so far. It is about 6:30 pm. Up at 9, took a shower, fed cat, was going to make coffee but needed to sit a bit first. Sat til noon or 1pm, ate some crackers and peanut butter during that time, since they are here on the coffee table from last night. Then I had a nap. Til 4pm. Messed about on laptop, got dressed, am now cooking some corn dogs (I love corn dogs with mustard) in the toaster oven and drinking a root beer with some half and half in it. Taste like a float, but no need for ice cream. 🙂 So now I’m awake, not in too much pain, and have a bit of energy. Now. In a couple of months it will be pitch dark at this time of day. Do I really want this to be my morning? No. How do I change this? I have tried everything I’ve ever come across and nothing works. I’d just like to have a ‘normal’ day where I can do what’s needed, and some of just what I want to do as well. But noooo. Thanks for nothing, Mother Nature.


I have made a connection between weather and how I feel. It is 30 degrees cooler today, and I am feeling much less pain and more energy. Nothing has changed but the temp/humidity levels. Maybe I will get something done. Hey, it could happen. Possibly maybe. There is some food prep I need to do for some things I want to make. Tuna burgers. I need to chop celery and cube cheddar, and chop some onion I think. Then there is this Jiffy cornbread mix thing I make with cubed deli ham, crushed pineapple, whole kernel corn, and a mix of melted butter, mustard and brown sugar in the bottom of the baking dish. Very tasty.

My garbage disposal has given up on me. No idea why, but there is just no power when I flip the switch. Kitchen lights haven’t worked for years, and the filters have not been change nor the ducts cleaned in an even longer time. So no air conditioner all summer. I do like the foot-thick walls, and the trees outside my windows, but it would be nice if we had actual maintenance again, and a landlord who did his landlord job, which is NOT just collecting money from us, in spite of what he may think.

Signed up for a free trial of PBS Living, and last night I watched the first ever episode of The French Chef. Made me laugh. She talked about how it’s okay to use a towel for something since we have electric washing machines now, and she mentioned the ‘icebox’, which is what we all used to call it back when. We had an actual ice box when I was a kid in Colorado. And an iceman that we used to chase after for ice chips, just like in the old movies. God, I am old. But I learned a lot from that show way back when we first moved here.

Then I watched the first episode of Great Performances: Now Hear This, which was about Vivaldi and violins. I love The Four Seasons, but had never really heard it explained what exactly I was hearing. Dogs barking, cuckoos cuckooing. It was amazing and such beautiful music. The host visited several violin makers in Italy, and then played one movement on all four of them. One in particular had such a gorgeous, almost haunting sound to it. If you like classical at all, I highly recommend this program. I plan to watch it again, that’s how much I l liked it.

Another great show is Weekends With Yankee. OMG New England is beautiful. So beautiful. I have never regretted for one second moving here. Some snaps from the second episode. Hope they don’t mind.

Fall in Maine
Fall in New Hampshire

And this is just because yes. Yes I do.


I did know that. Almost missed my friend’s anniversary yesterday, because I am very out-to-lunch mentally lately. Once my therapists stopped coming, I fell into a sort of ‘wtf is the point of anything anyway?’ mentality. Stopped doing everything. Stopped caring. But today, I am a bit back to ‘normal’, I think. It always takes a while to get used to being alone all the time. But I do it, eventually.

Having more pain again, too, and still tired all the time. Apparently it can take months to recover from severe blood loss, and already having a chronic illness does not help with that recovery.

I have been watching movies. Signed up for free trials of some streamers and am watching whatever looked good before the trials are over. There are some good movies out there, in spite of all the Marvel and DC dreck taking up so much space. After Yang, Columbus, Summerland are just a few really good ones I watched. Slow, slow, slow movies. Very little action. Took a bit of adjusting expectations and patience, but worth it. Also watched The Conversation with Gene Hackman, another slow movie, and really weird and did not love it. Whenever I see Gene Hackman, I remember seeing him once on some show, talking about being a small boy and watching his father drive away, leaving the family forever. Broke my heart. You never get over trauma like that. I wondered, as I watched the movie, if his father ever saw him being a famous actor, or did he just forget about his son altogether. Very sad.

We are under yet another heat advisory here in Mass. I have been pretty fortunate in that where I live has foot thick walls and the heat so far has not penetrated them. A couple of fans is all I’ve needed. Only two days did I really notice it was hot and sticky in here. Think of all the money I saved not using the a/c, too. Thinking I might call housing to ask if I can have the filters changed and the ducts cleaned and deduct the cost from the rent. Maybe get the kitchen lights fixed, too, if I can do deducting stuff. Probably not, but I can dream.

Bought a ten pound bag of Blue Buffalo Wilderness no grain no chicken for Miss G, since they have discontinued some of the flavors I was getting and I wanted to get something good for her. This one is salmon, venison, halibut. No duck or pheasant or rabbit or any of the other things I used to get. Fish. Oh, well. No grain and no chicken is important, I think.

I have been a bit unfocused, along with everything else. Can’t think what to do next, or what needs doing. Want to do a grocery order, but just looking at all the choices, my brain says it’s time for a rest break. Lots of reading going on. Some weird books out there. There was a free amazon download a while back, and some of those books I would never have chosen, but turned out to be pretty good or at least interesting. Don’t know where I’d be if I couldn’t read. It fills all the time I am in pain or too exhausted to move, so I am not just laying here being miserable. Reading is a very good thing. That’s it for now. Be safe, people. Wear your masks.