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I got a new cat at the shelter today. Jasmine. She is a very pretty gray, but just as timid as Gertrude. What was I thinking? She is affectionate, though, in a ‘yes I’m scared but you can scratch my ear anyway’ kind of manner. Gertrude is jealous and sat on my lap for two whole hours and even let me comb her really well. Going to be interesting. The first thing they did after we brought Jasmine home and I chased Gertrude out of the bedroom was hide. Is that not cute?
>Of all the ways I think of myself, ‘spork’ has never been on the list. 🙂 It’s pretty accurate, too, amazingly enough. Especially the ‘know a little about everything’. Very little, to be absolutely honest.
You Are a Spork |
 You have a playful, eccentric sense of humor. You are creative. You see the world in bold colors. You are a dabbler. You love to experiment. You aren’t an expert in anything, but you know a little about everything. |
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But I am feeling somewhat better. Just writing about my feelings helped, and the comment was nice, too. Still sad, but not really ready to cry all the time. Who would think a little four-legged beastie would have such an effect on one’s life?
The weather has been great. A few thunderstorms here and there, lots of clouds, but mostly just coolish and not too humid. Perfect summer weather, if you ask me. Had to reschedule my nutritionist appointment tomorrow since my ride is sick. Got a later-in-the-day one on rescheduling. I don’t do mornings well.
Would really like to get some results from all the tests I’ve had, but until I hear from new doctor, I guess it’s just wait and wait some more. Still feel fine, though.
Got a new toy for the Gertrude. She’s interested, but still too wary to come right out and play with it. It’s a ball in a circular thing that she can bat to make it go around. There’s a scratch-pad in the middle, too. She is not the scratcher that Simon was, apparently. She seems to be getting a teensy bit braver today. Actually came out and went into the kitchen a while ago. I am doing twice daily feedings of 1/4 cup dry mixed with a small spoonful of canned instead of having dry food out all the time. I can tell who’s eating what now since there’s only one who’s doing the eating. I’ve really learned quickly who made all the messes, too, and it wasn’t her.
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I’ve noticed than I am getting more and more depressed since Simon died. I don’t think it’s because of that, but because he was such an in-your-face animal that he took up a lot of my time and energy. There was always something going on with him around. And now there isn’t. It’s really shown me how alone I am, how empty my life has become since I got fibro. Things I didn’t have time to think about when he was around. I’ve gotten more and more immobile because of the pain walking causes, and there’s my innate fear of being out in public by myself. That has been a life-long issue. I need to think about this. What to do about it, how to change my life some more. I’m feeling really, really sad, and I need to fix that. I just want to cry all the time, and that can’t be good. I don’t want to up my meds, because that just masks problems, it doesn’t help to understand or make them better. I don’t know what to do just yet, but I’m hopeful that I can figure it out.
>The weather pixie, that is. Blah day. It’s lonely without the Simonator. Tomorrow I’m going to shoo Gertrude out of the bedroom and close the door, so she’ll have to be out among the living (me).
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Don’t know what happened to her, but I’m going to wait and she if she returns. Can’t get into the web site, either.
Lots of people have sent me ehugs. That’s very comforting. It’s nice to know people care. Feeling pretty sad today. As time goes on, and I miss his presence in various settings, I am really missing him a lot. It’s way to quiet and uneventful without him, and Gertude, being the invisible cat, does not take up any slack. I miss my Simon. I really, really do. For such a darn annoying cat, he sure took up a big space in my heart.
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It’s over. Took Simon to the vet today, and she agreed it was time. The tumor had doubled in size in the past two weeks, he was barely eating, and starting to be pretty miserable. It went well. First they sedated him, and we just petted him and talked to him as he slowly faded, then they gave him the final injection. I feel at peace about it. I knew it was the right thing to do, since he was not going to get any better, and why let him just keep going downhill and getting more and more uncomfortable and miserable. I think he knew, and was pretty calm throughout. We cried off and on, my friend Tess more than me. I will undoubtedly fall apart tonight. But I did the right thing for him, and there is no more suffering. I am going to miss him so very much. He has been such a huge part of my life for ten years. But life goes on, so I will.
strangely peculiar 