About excentric

I love sci-fi, music, reading, gardening. I am ill, but I am not my illness. Life is good. BTW, have I mentioned that I am a fan girl. Because I Am A FanGirl. Torchwood!

Ouch!

Serious pain, started yesterday. Am overloaded with 8 hour tylenol. Housing inspector came, I already knew her as she used to work in the housing office, and she did not faint at the cluttery disaster my place has become. Passed me, too, since everything is working just fine for once. Got the meds for Miss G, thanks to my friend who picked them up for me. It’s like flea meds, which I have never used, you put it on the back of her neck. Got the rubber gloves all ready. And my homemaker is out shopping. I am buying ingredients, because my brain thinks I will cook something. Stupid, stupid brain. It knows that never works out well, but goes on buying ingredients anyway. My brain is on holiday still, thinking is not working well at all. It’s a gray, cool day. Cool is good. That’s all the excitement for today. ๐Ÿ™‚

Something That Work

If you have tinnitus, or even if you don’t (I don’t, it just seems to calm my head somehow) do this for about 30 seconds. Seriously, it works.

https://64.media.tumblr.com/9b739cac31432da5a854fb60eea45164/52d3101d2ec6111f-d4/s1280x1920/2e7ab2b2011346178a747f1584dc6c48ad49ab9c.gifv

I can’t seem to just get the video here. I really hate the new editor, which isn’t so new anymore, but I don’t hate it any less. Try to do a preview. HA!

Just Shoot Me Now

Well, maybe not, but why can’t I catch a break? You know I have been ill for a very long time, and it has recently gotten worse and my house is kind of a cluttery disaster after a year and a half of no one coming in to help me with anything and Housing is coming Friday for the Inspection and I cannot do anything to tidy things up because I am barely, barely functional and it just isn’t going to happen, so embarrassment and humiliation are anticipated. And today, to add insult to injury as they say, I discovered my cat has tapeworms. She has never been outside since I got her at almost 3 months old (her, not me). Well, except in her crate to the vet for checkups. She is two years and 3 months old now. So where did she pick these up? No animals come in here. She has never had fleas. WTF? Seriously. Also, EWWWWW. Waiting for vet to call back to see if they will give her something now or I need to wait til her yearly checkup in early October. Apparently it’s not an immediate emergency, but EWWWWWWWWWWWW. Why yes, I am a teensy bit creeped out. Why do you ask?

Vaccines

I keep reading about people not getting vac’d due to this, that, or the other reason. Religion, body autonomy, whatever. Fine. Don’t get vaccinated (or wear a mask) if you think it’s not right for you. On the other hand, don’t go out. Don’t put yourself in proximity of anyone else. Your rights end when they intrude on the rights of others to not die of a preventable illness because YOU don’t want to get vaccinated or wear a mask. Your right to spout hate ends when you do it in MY business or home or church. Your rights are not greater than my rights not to be exposed to illness or hate speech or violence just because you think it’s your right to spread them. Please grow up.

When Obama was running against McCain, I saw on tv a woman expressing to McCain how she didn’t trust Obama because she thought he was a Muslim and not a good person. McCain said the he knew Obama well, that Obama is not a Muslim and is a good man. The woman said she was still not sure about that. If you don’t believe the person who knows, the one you plan to actually vote for, or the scientist who has the facts, but believe Fox News or random people on Facebook, I am pretty sure you are beyond hope. It’s called being brainwashed, I think. Or like being in a cult, where you only believe that one leader and nothing and no one else, regardless of how bizarre what he wants you to believe actually is. It saddens me that my countrymen have fallen for this.

Another New Favorite Quote

Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

Don Miguel Ruiz

I am going to try the Elavil again. I cannot get past feeling like crap all the time. Just one good day here and there, but noooo. No good days. None good days. WTF? And my homemaker, who I depend on to do the things I cannot do, is crap at her job. Very nice person, but cleaning isn’t something she seems at all familiar with. Wonder what her own house looks like? I do not have the energy to micromanage her. Just do the damn job already. Sheesh!

Gorgeous, gorgeous weather, cool, breezy, sunny. If I had an outside, I’d definitely be there.

Miss G resting last night. NOT stuck, as I first thought. Just chilling. Weird cat is weird.

Autumn

It’s the first day of meteorological autumn. My favorite season.

My brain is still drain. Not sure why. Am getting out more, being around people more. Not good for thinking? LOL I am thinking, though. Thinking I am getting concerned again about the virus. I am torn between wanting to go out and have lunch and shop and whatever, but my friend that I go places is with has become rather cavalier about safety, and does a lot of things with others where no masks are worn. We and her husband are all vaccinated, but we can still get sick and/or make others sick. I think if I get sick again, I may not survive it. I’m not saying I had the virus the first time I was sick, but my symptoms were similar, and I am still not recovered over a year and a half later. Go out, have a life/risk death. Some choice.

DD came down a couple of weeks ago, and we also went to lunch, but at a place with outside dining and fans blowing outside air past us. She is adamant about safety measures. Makes me happy. I see so many people not wearing masks in stores. Unless I am actively eating, I wear my mask all the time. I am starting to dread winter, being shut in and alone again, with dark days and nobody to talk to. Bah. Also, humbug. It is what it is, and I will get through it. I always do. If I don’t get sick. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

My New Favorite Quote

Don’t know where I’ve been this month. My brain is on summer holiday, I think. Anyway, this is from a retweet on Twitter:

My 14yo watched someone on the news saying weโ€™re all in the same boat, and he sat bolt upright and said โ€œNo weโ€™re not! Weโ€™re all in the same storm but we have different boats and some of them are crap.โ€

August

is here. Yay. So far, not hot and sticky. It’s 74, and the dew point is 57, so not too bad.

This is a free calendar. I think it’s pretty. ๐Ÿ™‚ From here: https://onedesblog.com/august-calendars/

Tired today. Been tired lately. Tomorrow I see the ENT guy, and then PT. Nooooo. ENT is at 11:30, which means I have to be copacetic by 11 at least. Dreading it already. But lunch out, so that’s something to look forward too. Hoping to go back to the Mexican restaurant and have almost real tacos again. I could eat real tacos every day, I think. Grain, veg, dairy, and meat or beans. All in one. What’s not to love? The restaurant ones are not real because the corn tortilla is deep fried. NOOOOOOO!

Trying to figure out how to get pictures from phone to laptop easily for my friend Tess, and cannot come up with an easy solution. I’m sure they’re on Google Pictures, so she could just back that up on the laptop, or download each one she wants to keep individually, but I really thought I had hooked up my phone to the laptop before and just transferred them. Anybody?

Anyway, brain is on a break, so later. Get vaccinated. Wear you mask. Use your brain, that’s what it’s for.

OMG OMG OMG

So I checked in on someone I am mutuals with on Twitter and somehow came across the testimony that is going on regarding the Capitol insurrection. OMG it is horrible. My fellow citizens acting like the worst mob you can imagine, deliberately targeting and harming and even in some instances killing members of law enforcement trying to protect OUR capitol and the people within the building. My fellow citizens. Possibly someone I actually know or have met was there. Maybe a friend of yours, or a neighbor, or someone whose business you have dealt with. The clerk at the convenience store. A doctor in your doctor’s practice. Your doctor. Your mail delivery person. People just like you and me, who have been brainwashed by Fox News and the orange disgrace into thinking that killing people and destroying our democracy are worthy goals. I am not a crier. I virtually never cry, and the testimony of one officer in particular made me cry. I just don’t know how to deal with this. This is my country. This is the beacon of hope for the world. Or it was once. No more. We were a laughing stock there for a while, and now we are just another country whose citizens have lost any sense of decency or morality or common sense. Freedom of speech is a good thing, but look where it has gotten us. All those pundits lying and lying and lying and convincing people that their warped version of reality is actually reality. It is not, but try and tell them that. Trump did not win. He did not, will not, cannot save this country. And save it from what? What we need to be saved from is him and those incredibly gullible ordinary people who are in his thrall. I don’t know how to fix it. I don’t know how to make people stop and think and reason and question, instead of blindly believing and following. I think if the Democrats don’t step up and really treat this as the serious threat it is, we are doomed. As my friend Ollie used to say, ‘Life sucks, then you die.’ Turns out she may have been right.

This one made me cry.

Update, Update. Get it. Get it.

Sorry about that. Anyway, here’s this.

https://www.reviewgeek.com/91751/smart-devices-can-change-your-life-but-not-always-for-the-better/

Which is only relevant because I commented on social media and said this to Tess yesterday, too, when we were talking about how everything is now connected to the internet. “Honey, we have lost everything. Bank accounts, savings, everything.” “How did that happen?” “Someone hacked our toaster.” I am so freaking funny. LOLOL

Here is Gertrude, after I threw out some treats for her. She just sat there and stared at them. This has never happened before. I am getting seriously concerned.

Oh, My. Recovery Day

My body aches. I am shuffling around. I need to lie down and just read and forget everything else except feeding Miss G today. But it was worth it. It was a good day, and I had lots of fun. There is just that one exercise that I should not have continued with once I noticed it was causing some pain. Idiot Jean is an idiot. This is why I am sticking to one session per week, too. Twice a week does not allow enough recovery time, and that’s how the pain response gets started.

Speaking of Miss G, she is kind of worrying me. After a big thunderstorm a week or two ago, where she was absolutely freaking out, she has been especially fearful and skittish and timid, and I am not sure what to do about it except keep being soothing and calm around her. Poor baby. She wants to hide a lot. Any thoughts, anyone? I have googled and it doesn’t look like a health issue, so am at a loss. I miss Miss run around like a maniac. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

On the plus side, Kongos ‘Hey I Don’t Know’ is up in my playlist and I like that song. DD2 introduced me to a new group yesterday. Poor Man’s Poison. Quite like them. Fit right in with what I’m into at the moment. One song made me think of The Cog Is Dead, another favorite group. For some one who cannot play any instrument of any kind, I am very into music. Brightens my life. When I’m feeling really down, there is even a song for that. Dead Summer by Unblest. I’m always telling Tess that there is a song for everything, and I frequently start singing one that fits the moment or the subject or whatever. She has started doing it, too. Tess and I are the same kind of crazy. Rare to find someone who is that. Her husband does the little circle thing sometimes when we are laughing hysterically over something that only we find hilarious.

Oh, dear. I need coffee. Coffee break time. Oh, yeah. On the kind of not great side, the smoke is worse today, according to the site. Windows still closed, a/c still on. I work at not letting myself think too much about what is going so badly wrong on the planet. So many things. The birds. That is so upsetting, and I cannot let myself think about it because it is crushing. There is nothing I can do, and I have learned that torturing myself over things I have no control over is self-destructive. A technique I learned in therapy is to just firmly say to myself STOP! when the thoughts begin. Silently or aloud, doesn’t matter. I have been doing it so long it just happens automatically, I don’t even have to think about it. Anyway, the worst part of it all, I think, is the knowledge that we have done this. Us. Humanity. We have just callously done whatever we want, usually in the name of profit, and gave no thought to consequences. In spite of being warned what would happen for decades.

On the bright side…but I am having trouble coming up with a bright side right now. I started out so well, too. Should not have let that bird thought in. Too late. Well, I do have some good food in the frig, that’s a bright side. Better than open box, eat contents, which is my usual go to when things are not going well.

Here’s a Cheer-Me-Up collage I made.

And another. Barrowman never fails to make me laugh or smile. Here, the horse is standing on his foot. ๐Ÿ™‚

Yes, I am a Torchwood/Ninth Doctor fan girl, and proud of it.

SMOKE

Is everywhere. Maybe it was before, but today is the first day I’ve been out where you can see some distance, and you can see the smoke everywhere. Last week, I thought it was up in the atmosphere, but it is ground level today. Still, my air quality app says air quality is Moderate. Hmmm. Scary. Seems the whole western part of the US is on fire. Here’s the site, if you’re interested. You have to let it access your location.

https://fire.airnow.gov/

So, PT went well, but I did one exercise that was a bit uncomfortable, and my back hurts now, but hopefully it will be better tomorrow. Lunch after. Went to Friendly’s and split a Reuben and onion rings. Yum. I love onion rings. Reubens are good, too, and Friendly’s especially. Then…..Trader Joe’s. I love, love, love Trader Joe’s. Got two each of my fav dinners, enchilada verde and chicken marsala. Real mashed potatoes in that one. Real mashed potatoes. Froze one of each. Don’t see why freezing isn’t possible with them, so. Got some cup up fruit, enough yogurt to see out the rest of my ten days on antibiotics, and mango wine in cans. Something new. I am oh so fond of mango, and wine isn’t bad either, and the checker said it’s really good. Chilling as we speak. The wine, not the checker. Tess had to buy the wine, cause I don’t have the proper ID, like they can’t tell I’m old enough just by looking at me. LOLOL Listening to a playlist of Imagine Dragons (my current all-time favorite group), Mumford and Sons, say what you will, I adore their music, and Kongos and Barns Courtney. Good music, good day except for the smoke, and happy Jean is happy.

From The Atlantic

“In the end, the unvaccinated person himself or herself has decided to inflict a preventable and unjustifiable harm upon family, friends, neighbors, community, country, and planet.”

Because Fox News and the orange moron told them to. Those people at Fox, and even the orange disgrace have themselves mostly been vaccinated, and yet spread the falsehood that you should not. Not sure I understand the reasoning behind this, except to stir up more controversy and thus increase ratings. Why else would they encourage people to risk their and their loved ones lives?

I Think I Am Better

Since my own doctor seems not to want to see or treat me, I saw a fill-in yesterday. Gave me an antibiotic, which I have now had two doses of, and I am better. I am functional, my brain is working, I sorted some papers that have been waiting for a few weeks to be seen to. Not happy at all with the new doctor I choose, and depending on how my visit next month goes, I may ask to change again. If I don’t fight for me, who will?

Some moronic Republican is taking his ball and going home for not getting his way. Color me surprised.

People dying from covid are now regretting blindly following Fox News and the orange moron, but as one doctor is saying, Too Late. I want to feel bad for them, and part of me does, but part of me thinks they have only themselves to blame. Yes, I am a horrible human being.

On the bright side, it looks like the haze from the country-wide smoke coverage has lessened somewhat today. Scary times. AND I got a free pizza from Domino’s. I choose garlic Parmesan sauce, Italian sausage, onions, and extra cheese, and it is very tasty. So thank you Domino’s. I also got a make your own pasta bowl and am saving the bulk of the pizza for tomorrow. Or maybe I’ll save the bulk of the pasta bowl and eat the pizza. Decisions, decisions.

I don’t think it’s too late for some of you. Get vaccinated. Let your brain do its work and think and reason. That’s what it’s for.

Where Have I Been?

Struggling, that’s where. Not doing at all well, and starting yesterday, a bit of vertigo. Always fun. Not so bad I can’t read or watch tv, thank goodness, but it’s kind of fun when you look at a plant and it is slowing heading off to the right. Why the right? Why not the left? IDEK. Anyway. Been kind of in a slump. PT helped my back, but the rest of me is really struggling with energy and physical stability, and I cannot do anything that needs doing. Tried to vacuum the other day. Tried. Did not succeed even a teeny bit. Fill the sink with hot soapy water. Need to go lie down. Cold, no longer sudsy water. Ick. Buying ingredients, thinking I can use them. Ha! My brain thinks I am this person, but my body thinks I am someone else altogether. At least it is not hot and sticky. Sticky, yes, but hot, no. It is 72, the warmest it’s been in a week maybe? I can deal with that. My lovely blanket, that I finally broke down and had washed, is shedding fuzz like you would not believe. My tee shirt is covered in it. How do I fix that? It never shedded before. It is now in serious competition with Second Gertrude, who has clumps of fur fall off five minutes after I have seriously brushed her. WTF, Gertrude? She is cute enough and sweet enough and fun enough that it an tolerate the shedding. Not too sure about the blanket.

And, I have decided I should take up drinking. Drinking is in my blood. My family is rife with alcoholics, so why not? I am having a hard time coping right now, preferring to sleep and read over being in the real world, so it sounds like another alternative. I just had two shots of Dewar’s White Label and am feeling no pain. Yay I almost literally never drink hard spirits, using them in cooking and stuff, so I have a lot on hand. l am over being in pain, being exhausted, being alone, being lonely. I have 72 unread emails, cause I haven’t fired up the old laptop in a couple of days, and none of those 72 are from actual people I know. I check every morning, but mostly people don’t even reply to me emailing them, let alone email me first. I do try not to care, and to just accept things as they are, but maybe being crocked will help with that.because it does kind of hurt to see how unimportant I am to every body I know. ๐Ÿ™‚

Just to demonstrate the booze thing, I have had two shots of scotch, and am very tipsy. It tends to affect you more when you almost never do it. ๐Ÿ™‚

Also, I am bingeing Leverage, because the new series is out and I want to watch the old one first. Elliot!!!!! Hardison!!!! Parker!!! Nate and Sofie! LOLOL I have read that the new one is great, but I am going to miss Timothy Hutton. And Noah Wyle looks so old in the bits I’ve seen. I am also bingeing Tenko, an amazing series we watched on A&E back when A&E was something, on Daily Motion. A couple so far have had no sound, but there is a book that gives you an idea of what is going on.

Remembering Tenko: A Celebration of the Classic TV Drama Series Andy Priestner

This was amazingly good back in the day, and has lost nothing in the years in between. Based on real people’s experiences, too. Wish they would have it on Prime or Netflix. Hint, hint.

So that is my story for today. Trying not to fall into the black hole, and semi-succeeding, today anyway. Stay safe. Get vaccinated. Later.