I just posted a reply on Tumblr that is not going to make people happy. Go ahead, give me lots of flack. I’m old. I don’t care anymore. People disgust me.
I have been having a lot of pain. My foot, my torn rotator cuffs that have been okay for a long time have now started up with the serious pain again, no idea why, and my head. Something is wrong in my head. A realization I have come to is when you are old and poor, medicine has absolutely no interest in your problems. We are considered a waste of resources. Anyway, I know someone who claims to be a ‘distance healer’ I think is the term. Anyway, she sends light to you somehow and it makes you feel better, whatever your problem may be. I do not believe in this stuff. I do not read Tarot cards. or look for signs, or any of the what I call oo-ee-oo-ee stuff. I am a pragmatist and a realist. But… and it’s a big but. She has sent me light, and it has helped. I know. is it all in my head? Once she sent it without telling me first, and it still helped. Example: my foot has been painful and swollen, and after getting the light sent, I can wiggle my toes painlessly. So if you’re into this kind of thing, and looking for a little positive support, check this out:
BTW, if you’ve ever seen Miranda with Miranda Hart (BBC), ‘what I call’ made you laugh, right? It did me.
Or not. I am having lots and lots of pain and am barely hobbling around. I’m down to one homemaker and she’s almost five months pregnant and every week comes with a look on her face that says “Oh, I am so miserable, pity me and don’t ask me to do any work please.” Yeah, no. If you can’t do the work, quit the job. Please. Something is wrong in my head, and even though I had a cat scan two years ago that just said I have thickened sinuses, that is not a fix. I can’t think straight or concentrate half the time. It’s like when my doctor sent me for xrays to see if I had pneumonia and a fractured bone in my foot. No to both. Yeah, but I still can’t breath and my foot is still swollen and painful. Caller had to hang up and call the doctor who had gone home to ask what to do. Gave me a new inhaler, and said ‘wear good shoes’. All is well now, except I am still not breathing well and my foot is still swollen and painful two month later. Medicine in the US is in serious need of doing better. And now I came across a very good blog post about fibro and ‘cure’ books. What she says has been pretty much my experience with those books, too. They usually seem to wind up wanting you to buy some expensive ‘fix’ that they are pushing, and truthfully, nothing works. Expensive or not, prescribed or not, nothing works. Sometimes you’re better, sometimes you’re worse, and all those people who brag about the marathons they can run and the difficult jobs they hold down in spite of having fibro can just go…..whatever. Yep, grumpy Jean is grumpy and in pain and I need to do things and call Verizon about the router I never got and the bill that is thirty dollars more than I was told it would be and and and and my brain is just not cooperating at all. Some days, I just cannot be upbeat and positive and find the bright side, and this is one of those days. The realities of living with a chronic, disabling illness. The blog post:
Edit: debilitating, I meant debilitating not disabling. Did I mention my brain is not working?
Yay. I mostly get crap calls, but still. The idiots in the office set it back up using the wrong port on the base unit, and it took the tech a while to figure it out. I didn’t even know there were two ports on the base unit. Tech was nice, though, and mounted base unit to wall where Godzilla cannot easily get at it.
Still waiting for the router. UPS said I had asked that it be held in the Warwick, RI UPS base. Seriously? I have no way to get to Warwick, RI. So they wanted to me call Verizon. Why? You have my package, you have verified that I am me, you have my tracking number, why can’t you just send the package out for delivery again. After some time ‘discussing’ this, get put on hold, then told I have to go on website to change something, then it will be delivered. When? Who knows? Man, customer service has really become a joke.
I am still not much better, even after being on 8 mg predisone for a few days. Better than I was on 7, but lots of pain and no energy. I am virtually useless, except maybe for sticking something to eat into the zapper and making the odd cup of tea. Cook? HA! Declutter. No way. Pick up whatever Gertrude has destroyed today? Only if it’s dangerous for her or I am likely to kill myself tripping over it. I hope I never catch another cold ever, because this has been over two months of not really very fun times. But Gertrude is so cute. Even as she destroys everything I own. I am such a sap. LOLOL
Changed my plan. Combined phone and internet, where as before they were two separate accounts because I had Lifeline for the phone, which is a discount program for us po’ folk. Fine. Phone will be off Tuesday and part of Wednesday while they do the changeover. It’s Thursday, and phone is still not on. Try to use FIOS app on cell phone to figure it out, yeah, no. Called with cell phone. Spent eons getting to and the talking to the correct human person. My pin didn’t work so two people gave me two temp pins, one after the other. Turns out they cancelled my old phone number and gave me a new one. Well,change it back. Sure, twenty-two dollars. NOOOOOOO. You change it without asking or telling me, I am not paying for your screw-up. Okay, waiving charges. How on earth was I supposed to know my phone or pin don’t work because it’s not my phone or pin number anymore? Seriously, Verizon? Seriously? Unhappy Jean is unhappy.
Been a crap week anyway, because since I decreased to 7mg prednisone, I have been getting worse every day, so last night took 1 extra mg and am much better already today. So back to 8 for a bit. I had to do this when I went from 9 to 8, as well. Take a step back and do nine a bit longer, then back to 8. Prednisone is a miracle drug, but do not let them put you on it if there is any other alternative. It ruins your body, and can cause prednisone withdrawal if you get off it too soon (thank you crap doctor), and you can be stuck for years. Literally, years, trying to get off it. Ask me how I know that.
All in all, not my best week ever, but still had fun with Gertrude the Destroyer, or Godzilla as I am now calling her. She is just so cute. I bought a flappy hand thing, and she loves it. Weird cat is weird.
Have not decided what to do about new homemaker, who comes tomorrow. Did I blog about this already? My brain is drain lately. (inside joke, sorry) She is a Trump supporter, and I cannot abide people who support someone who advocates hate and who makes fun of the disabled and is working to take away their support services, who deports people who have a legitimate right to be here only because he does not like their skin color, who can corrupt the system so much as to get himself acquitted. Acquitted????? If I am in trial, do I get say, “Hey, no witnesses allowed?” Yeah, I don’t think so. I do think our democracy is now dead. Vote them out, I say, but it is now too little, too late, I fear. The crazies vote, the sane people think it does not matter. And that is exactly how we got here, people. Oh, angry and frustrated Jean is extremely angry and frustrated and it just will not snow here. I want to scream. Seriously.
Well, this was a fun post. Aren’t you glad you checked in. If anybody has any thoughts about what to do about homemaker, please let me know in comments or email I need the services, but I won’t be able to be nice to her and fear I may just express my feelings about someone who can support someone like Trump.
I hate this.