Author Archives: excentric

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About excentric

I love sci-fi, music, reading, gardening. I am ill, but I am not my illness. Life is good. BTW, have I mentioned that I am a fan girl. Because I Am A FanGirl. Torchwood!

>Title? What title?

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>I must have been tired, cause I slept til 1pm from about midnight. My cell alarm for lunch woke me up. LOL I am tired, and achy and foggy, but I have a goal, which is get ready for new couch, the one scheduled to come on Monday. So I have incentive to do things in spite of how I feel. That’s a very good thing, because usually, I tend to slug when I don’t feel that great. It’s already looking better in here. I have a plan now, and can visualize how I want things to be, which part of my brain had burned out several years ago. It has sprung from the ashes, like the Phoenix. I am really excited about getting the couch. If I can just figure out how to keep Gertrude from shredding it, which except for declawing, I can’t think how. I don’t believe in declawing, so could someone maybe knit me a chain mail couch cover? It could work, right? LOL

>More sleep

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>I had a good night thanks to the atavan, and an even better day. Walking is still difficult, but I had some energy and actually got some things done. Cleared a space on the cart for the microwave and found places for the groceries that were on it. Cleaned up the kitchen. Moved the table over (with help) and cleared up the clutter, Moved the hall table to the bedroom so when the couch I ordered from Overstock comes, they can get it in here. It comes in three boxes so it will fit through the door, but it still need the room in the hallway. Can’t wait for it to get here. Then today, having another bout of fiscal irresponsibility, I ordered a futon frame for the bedroom. I have a futon mattress on my bed, but my bed is o.l.d. and not very comfortable and takes up too much room in the small bedroom. So it is going and the futon is coming in. I will have room for my ellipse and maybe my desk, too. I am determined to declutter this disaster and am doing what I can, when I can. Later tonight, walking will again be ‘interesting’ I think, but it was worth it.

My homemaker came today and did a great job cleaning, and carried out all the detritus from decluttering without complaint. She is a good homemaker. A good day all around. And LOST tonight.

>Sleep

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>I did. The Atavan worked very well. I slept for about fifteen hours I think, only waking up once in a lot of pain and right back to sleep. The next night I was taking allergy pills and was still pretty tired, so slept pretty well again. Very not-functional, though. Lots of pain and brain-fog. Walking is difficult and painful, too. Then last night, the bugaboo was back. I’ve been up all night. Still barely functional and in pain. Not sleeping keeps your body from healing all the little tears and things that happen during your day. Your body normally heals during sleep. Sleep. I remember sleep. I slept a couple of nights in a row. Yay, me.

I am going to go lie down now,because sitting up is too hard.

>It’s been quite a week

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>I’ve lost track of the days, but since early this week, I have had a total of about 2-3 consecutive hours of sleep. I was up for forty hours, slept a short time, tossed and dozed a short time, and have been awake since 4:30 am yesterday morning. It’s 3pm now. I am so tired I am loopy, but I am wide awake. I’ve tried sleeping. I’ve tried Benadryl. I’ve tried Zanaflex, the one that’s almost guaranteed to knock me out. Nothing. Not sleeping is making me anxious. Anxiety is keeping me awake. Not sleeping is causing more pain and restless legs. Pain and restless legs are keeping me from sleeping. I am fine with it, which is even weirder. I mean I am more functional than a lot of days when I have slept. I do love my chronic, debilitating, make you crazy illnesses. Tonight I am taking an Atavan. It is an anxiety pill so I hope it works. I originally was prescribed it as a sleep aid, and for the first month of taking it, I went to sleep shortly after my head hit the pillow. Then nothing. No effect at all. I’ve taken it off and on since, but it doesn’t work well anymore. So now it’s been maybe ten months or more since I’ve taken it. Maybe my adaptation to it has worn off. Otherwise, I am going to hit myself over the head with something heavy once I get into bed.

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>
Gertrude and I observed Earth Hour last night. We played ‘bird’ for about 40 minutes, then sat quietly til the hour was up. It’s never truly dark in here since I live directly across from a convenience store, but it was peaceful and she enjoyed the game. She likes to play, that cat. She’s much more out-going now that Simon is gone, but still reacts badly to almost anything unusual. Under the bed she goes. Poor baby.

I was up late again, after sleeping yesterday, so didn’t get up til 3:30 today. I would so like to be ‘normal’ and sleep at night. It only ever lasts for a day or two in a row, then my inner clock goes haywire again.

It’s very gray and a bit foggy today, but still not too cold. It’s only in the low forties now, at 7pm. Green things are popping up here and there, too. Spring is sprung. I won’t bore you with the rest of that little ditty. *smile*

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>Not my best day. Didn’t sleep well, woken up early by phone call from my old friend Private Name, Private Number, dozed, up at 9:30, zoned in front of computer, back to bed at 1:30, up at 5:30. Fun day. Later a scan found a trojan on here and deleted it, but I need to be more careful. I usually scan everything before I install, but clearly I missed something.

It’s been beautiful spring weather the past couple of days. In the fifties. Yesterday and the day before I went out with a friend to Joanne’s and the Christmas Tree Shop. I got a nice 4 inch thick round cushion for Gertrude to veg on, a watering can at CTS for a dollar that was 7.99 in Joanne’s the day before. I also got some new dish cloths and dish towels at CST. Nice and nice and cheap, too.

There is so much that needs doing, it is not a good idea to use my energy running around and shopping, but who wouldn’t choose fun over cooking and decluttering? When you only have so many spoons, you HAVE to choose, and I usually choose getting out of here. I’m lucky I am able to. For a long time, I had no way to get anywhere and no one to go there with anyway. So I enjoy it a lot now that I can.

Sometimes I envy those of you with partners. Someone to lean on, to go places with, to take over when you are non-functional, but sometimes I think it’s much easier to be alone and not have to feel guilty all the time for not being able to do what’s needed. Sometimes, though, it would be heaven to have someone who would just make me a cup of tea. Happy Spring everyone.

>WoooHoooo

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>I fix-ed my blog. I had help from the blogger group. An old post in not great english explained what to do. Happy Days.

I’m sorry Live Journal, but I just don’t love you like I do Blogger.

Update on my little old self. I think the combo of fibro, which doesn’t want me to sleep at night, and chronic fatigue, which wants me to sleep for ages, is really fighting with each other. I don’t think that’s good grammer, but I’ve been up all night. After several days of maybe sleeping three or four hours at a go, I slept all day one day then Monday night I went to sleep about 12:30am and woke up at 5:30 pm Tuesday, was up til 8:30 and had to go back to bed. Slept four more hours. Been up ever since. It is 10:30 Wednesday morning. My life is such fun. At least I am awake during daylight today. How refreshing. I cannot get this sleep thing under control, no matter how I try or what I do or what I take.

This evening I am going to a resident’s board meeting. It’s housing, because I get section 8 rental assistance from the housing department, and I am friends with the director and she asked me. Yay, me. Get to pretend to be a real person for a half hour or so. LOL

Spring is springing, although it’s still been pretty cold. There were one or two days where open windows were possible, and looking forward to more.

I cut my Zoloft down to 75 mls about a week ago, and my pain level has increased, but I am going to wait it out. I think the brain has to readjust itself whenever there is an increase/decrease in the meds, and that takes time. Hope it doesn’t take too long.

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>I keep having problems with this blog. It won’t let me add things, or change the background. I may wind up moving it. Meanwhile, here’s a few things I’ve found today:

About Chronic Fatigue

http://chronicallyme.wordpress.com/2009/02/26/test-me-when-im-crashing/

Have you forgotten the fires in Australia?

http://www.greenwordsgrowing.com/2009/02/flames-made-ghost-of-everything.html

Do your part. It’s easy. Just click.

http://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/clickToGive/home.faces?siteId=3

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>I lost my latest homemaker due to agency reshuffling of staff, and I am seriously considering going it alone for awhile. I worked out a schedule of what absolutely needs doing with rest time in between things, and spread out over the week. Case worker is supposed to come tomorrow, but since we are due to have a major snowstorm, it may not happen.

Had a good day yesterday. Was invited to a friend’s for dinner and conversation, and then I slept most of today. Right now I am cooking a pork loin in the crockpot with apple cider. Hope it turns out well.

I’m thinking about adding things that might be interesting to someone besides myself to this blog. Maybe links to articles, or other blogs, or whatever.

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>The sleep thing is acting up again. I didn’t sleep well most of last week, then Thursday slept very late and since I had to be up and dressed by noon Friday, it was easier to just stay up all night. Last night, I went to bed about 2am and slept til 5pm. This is the sometimes pattern. Up all one night, sleep way too many hours next night. I’m having a lot of pain again, too. I think it’s the result of moving things around and going out a couple of times, so maybe it will get better again.

I am kind of discouraged by all the negative reporting and comment about Obama. He’s only been in for a month, I think people could hold off calling him a failed president just a tad longer. It also irks me that the people who stood by and let us get into this mess are now criticizing him for trying to fix it. Partisanship lives, to the detriment of all of us. It’s too bad.

Days are longer and brighter now, but it’s still pretty chilly, and I think we’re in for some more snow today. Everyone keeps saying it’s been such a long winter, but it’s only February, and winter is as long or short as it ever was. It snows in winter. It’s cold in winter. That’s what winter is. Get over it. Besides, I like snow. So there.

Gertrude the Timid has gotten a lot more playful lately. She loves the fish on a pole that I dangle for her to bat. Where Simon would play for ten minutes or so, she can play with that for an hour or more, depending on how long it takes for my arm to fall off. I can type with one hand and dangle with the other, so computing and playtime coincide well. She is a good cat, but I still miss my Simon. One thing she does that seems weird to me is she’ll look directly into my eyes for quite a long period. Usually I’m the one who looks away first, because I’ve read that animals don’t like you to look into their eyes, but I’m not sure that’s the case. At least not with her.

I like my new homemaker. She is funny and seems to do a good job cleaning, even doing a little extra that isn’t on her job description. I hope it works out. Sometimes they start out well and then gradually start slacking off over time.

I’ve forgotten how many eps are left of Galactica. I want it to be over, so I know the outcome, but I don’t want it not to be on anymore. It’s such a good show.
I’ve read books like that. I can’t wait to finish so I know what happens, but then when I’m done, I wish there was more of it to read.

I’ve been up since 5 yesterday evening, and now it’s nearly 7am and I think I could go to sleep but then I’d sleep all day again and be up all night again. I wish I could get in sync with Mother Nature. I don’t think people are meant to be nocturnal animals. *smile*

>Thoughts

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>It is a warm summer day. You lie on the cool grass, the earthy scent of the just-watered lawn next door drifting past on the soft breeze. There is shade nearby; a beautiful, wide, drooping canopy, but you lie in the sunlight, watching the white puffy clouds changing shape as they make their way across the blue sky. Every now and then a bird flies overhead, or you catch the sound of one twittering in the trees. You breathe slowly and deeply, inhaling summer. Butterflies flit around in their cheery up-down helter skelter sort of way. As you lie there, you watch your thoughts come, and you watch them go. You recognize that you are not your thoughts. You are at peace with yourself. You are happy. Life is good.

I wrote this in my head during yesterday’s twenty-minute lie down.

>I did it!

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>I finished re-arranging the living room yesterday afternoon. Even after being awake almost all night, I am actually functioning so far this morning, too. Still having blog issues, but what else is new?

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>Been having some blog issues recently, but I’m hoping all is sorted out.

I’ve been having some pain and lots of fatigue for the past week. I’ve been well enough to do some cooking, but not much else. I’ve made easy lasagna and sausage cornbread. Ate all the cornbread over two days, but have five meals of lasagna in the freezer. I’m also making pesto every time my herbs have grown enough.

I’m trying to do something in the living room that will make it look like a living room and not a conglomeration of stuff and more stuff. I can only work one day in a row and then have several recovery days, so it is very slow going. I wanted to get it done before the new homemaker comes on Friday, but it’s not looking good.

I got some extra-strength Excedrin without caffeine, since I have all these sleep problems, but it does not seem to work nearly as well for the pain. Everything is a trade-off with illness. Less pain=less sleep, more sleep=more pain. Is this fair? I think not.

Cannot wait for Fridays anymore. I want to know what happens in Galactica. What great writing in this show. It is so dark and intense and riveting. I am so not an ‘amazing runway idol Kardashian funniest video’ watcher, so anything that has some real intelligence behind it is gold. Oh, and I bought a nine dollar antenna to see what I get without cable. Haven’t hooked it up yet, though. Maybe there will be some channels out there I am not familiar with, and that actually have something I’d want to watch. We’ll see.

>Sleep..it’s not on the agenda

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>I’ve been up since 7am yesterday. It’s 8:30 am now. Was very tired and ready for sleep at 11 last night, but once in bed I was wide awake. I hate when that happens, and it happens a lot. I wish someone would come up with a cure for at least the sleep issues that accompany fibro/cfs. Anyway, I am expecting to be quite foggy today, and will probably fall asleep in time to miss Galactica. Fortunately, it’s replayed in the On Demand free section. Or I can watch it online, I think, but it’s more comfortable to watch from the recliner than from the desk chair. Gertrude thinks so, too, cause she sits on my lap when I’m in the recliner, but not when I’m using the desk chair. Off to have my coffee. Caffeine….it’s a good thing. Before I forget, here’s the White House blog site, if anyone is interested.

http://www.whitehouse.gov/

>WTF??

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>Been trying to reply to a comment on here, but it won’t show up. ???

Today the sun is shining. Yes! After snow, rain, sleet, whatever, yesterday, it is cold and slippery out, but the sun is shining. Hooray.

I am trying to do some rearranging in the kitchen today, but of course get sidetracked playing on here, and my brain is kind of foggy so having trouble deciding where to put what. But I’ll get it done. Maybe not today, but………

>My Quiet Day

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>Having a quiet day reading blogs and cooking Oven Stew, which I figured out I haven’t made in about fifteen years. Time does fly, whether you’re having fun or not. I did go out today, to the post office and across the street for wine and cash. Yes, they sell cash at Tedeschi’s. No they don’t. But they do have an ATM.

Another great Galactica last night. I feel sorry for anyone who hasn’t followed this show. It is not only dark and intense, it is topical. Lots of comparisons to the world we have been living in for the past eight years. But Felix. Is he angry because of being put off from seeing the doctor, or is that just a last straw due to what happened in the webisodes? What if you didn’t see the webisodes? What if you didn’t know there were webisodes? Is that fair? I love a show that makes you think, though. How would you react in these or those circumstances? Why didn’t we do something about

UPDATE: I WAS having a quiet day, and then my computer went haywire. Lots of those beeps that never tell you why they are beeping or what to do about it, so hard shutdown and unplug were the order of the day. Working fine now, but this blog is a little screwed up. I was typing the first section when the beeps went off, so do I know what the problem was/is? Well, of course not. Will try to fix it, though. I am a good fixer. My point above, before I was so rudely cut off, was why didn’t we do something about what was going on during the last admin? Why did we let them get away with torture? Kara seemed to really enjoy torturing Leoben in Galactica. Why did we allow them to take away our freedoms in the name of fear? Are we really a nation of sheep, as a famous book once posited? Maybe we are. It’s a shame, really.

MORE UPDATE: I fixed it. Yay, me.

>OBAMA

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>What a speech! What.A.Speech!
It was so inspirational, and at the same time touched on everything that was wrong with the previous administration. Much more politely than I could/would have. But he really told it like it is, I thought. I hope everyone either saw it or gets to see it. I am so proud to be a part of this America.

>It’s Here

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>(Click picture to Enlarge)

Inauguration Day! History in progress, and we are all part of it. I am so proud to be an American today. I am proud of Massachusetts for having had an African-American senator, for having it’s first ever African-American governor, and for being part of electing the first ever African-American president. I’m thinking that this bodes well for our country, that this has happened in spite of things like the woman not even taking McCain’s word for it that Obama is not a Muslim, like that’s the worst thing that could happen. In spite of all the hatred that was spewed during the campaign, besides all the prejudice fomented over the last…forever, we did it. I am so proud, and so happy to have been a part of this by voting. I helped create an historical event. So did all of you who voted, as well. “It’s a good day for America” Craig Ferguson. I do like Craig Ferguson, and Obama, and America on this day. We did it. I am also infinitely grateful to my mother for teaching me from the first moment I ever saw an African-American, that it’s not what is on the outside that matters. Inside, we are all one people. I had a good mother.

>Snow

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>It’s not too cold to snow, apparently, since we had quite a bit. Trees and power lines are coated. Very pretty.

I’m still mulling over Friday’s Battlestar Galactica. So many happenings that were completely unexpected. This show is so intense and well-written and riveting, I hate that there are only nine more episodes. I am onto the third disc of the first season from Netflix, so I get to see it all over again. Lovely.

I’ve gone through my recipe box and made a list of things I’d like to cook while I’m still well enough to do it. I planned an entire meals’ menu for next week, which would serve four, but I’ll be eating it for awhile. Or maybe freeze some of it. The lasagna I froze a few weeks ago is great. Pop it out of the container into a bowl, put a saucer on top, and nuke it for a few minutes. Dinner is served. There are still three servings in the freezer.

I’m still sleeping odd hours, but not really caring, since I don’t have any activities for awhile that require me to be up and presentable by a certain hour. Very relaxing not to feel pressured. Finding lots to read on the web, and since I like reading, I’m enjoying myself. There is so much info about so many things. Things I would never even know existed without my computer. I don’t feel isolated at all. Kind of nice. That’s it for now.