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About excentric

I love sci-fi, music, reading, gardening. I am ill, but I am not my illness. Life is good. BTW, have I mentioned that I am a fan girl. Because I Am A FanGirl. Torchwood!

>I’m baaaack

>Definitely cold out there. I walked to the post office and then stood outside for a bit, so I was outside for about ten minutes all together. It was icy in a couple of spots, and I was nervous about falling, but did okay. I wore my special shoes whose brand I cannot think of at the moment, but they have bumps on the bottoms to help when it’s slippery. Youngest DD gave them to me. They’re very comfortable, too.

Today I am going to fold and put away the laundry, and make something with ground turkey. Not sure what yet. I also have some papers to sort, but I get on here and time just goes by. It’s more fun on here. Off to get some coffee and warm up the innards.

>Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

>It’s 12 degrees outside at 8:22am. Yes, I’m up this early, only because I’ve been up all night. I am about to go outside. Yes, I am crazy, but I need to get some daylight, and I took an SAD test which said the optimum time for me to get some daylight begins at 8:15am for me. I’m already late. Be back later, if I don’t freeze in place on the sidewalk.

>Gertrude

>Gertrude is sleeping in her chair and making strangely peculiar noises. Not exactly snoring, but sort of. Hard to explain. I need to get a picture of her in that chair, since she has given up her box and blanket and claimed the chair as her own.

I went outside again today, briefly. Again with the briefly. But I got some fresh air, even if I didn’t walk anywhere. It’s icy out. Going to get really, really cold in the next day or so, too. Standing outside the front door on the sidewalk is about all I can hope for.

Part of the computer is frozen AGAIN, so I will have to do a hard shutdown later. Most of what I need is working, though, so I can still use it. I am enjoying all this alone time. I go to bed when I’m tired, and get up when I get up. 3pm today. Every night I seem to stay up later. I like night. No one bothers me. Not that anyone bothers me during the day either, but the possibility is there.

Got another book to read when I do go to bed. Fiction, this time. I like to read. Yes, I do. I am happy to be feeling pretty well lately, too. Happy is good. So say we all. GALACTICA starts Friday. Wooo Hooo!

>Monday (repost)

>Okay, that’s so not me, but it is cold and sunny today. After many days of not sleeping at night and getting up in the afternoon, today I actually made it up at 1pm. So I went outside…….briefly. But I got some daylight, and that’s the goal.

Since I’ve been alone so much lately, I have really been having fun on my computer. I’ve found a lot of new sites with lots to read. Have I mentioned?…I have over 7,000 bookmarks. Oh, do I need to weed them out. But there’s a lot of good stuff in there I’ve saved to reread, or to help when there’s a problem with this machine. I really love my computer.

>Going Green

>I pledge to purchase items with less packaging whenever possible in 2009. What’s your green pledge?

http://weheartworld.com/green-living/pledge-to-be-green/

>Recovery Day

>I tend to forget that I need recovery days. It was cold, wet and slippery earlier, but I really wanted to go out, even if just to stand on the sidewalk outside the door for a bit. But I was just too tired. I had a nap instead. I will do better. I just have to remember pacing and recovery. Pacing and recovery. Two very important aspects of fibro/chronic fatigue.

I got a really interesting book at the library yesterday: Animals in Translation by Temple Grandin. She is an autistic woman who works with cattle for the government, and she talks about how both animals and autistic people think visually instead of with words. It is a good insight into how brains can work differently but still work efficiently and cleverly. She works with cattle, so that’s her focus, but she touches on dogs and cats and how you can interpret their behaviour by understanding what they see. I think it’s also very illuminating into how the autistic mind works. So if you know someone who is autistic, this book is a valuable resource, in my opinion.

I was really happy to have a book when I went to bed last night. I have always been a reader, and always had a book to read before I went to sleep, until I got really sick. Even when I was still able to work, I would read several books a week. I’ve missed books, even though I’ve had some here and there over the years. I’ve read my own books many times, as well. I love books. I love the feel of the book in my hands, the smell, turning the pages, the whole reading experience of books. I read online, too, but it is a completely different experience. I much prefer books. Real, printed word, bound pages, nicely covered books.

I don’t have nearly as many books as I used to have. For a time, when I was really sick and very isolated, I thought my life was over and I was just waiting to die. I started divesting myself of things, and began with books. I gave away all of my Agatha Christies, my Rex Stouts, my Robert B. Parkers, among others. I kept only my non-fiction, and not all of that. I was in the library one day and saw a book on the shelf. “I have that book” says I to myself. Picked it up, opened it, and saw it WAS my book. I had given it to the library a few years earlier. I used to keep lists of what I’ve read and what I wanted to read, favorite authors, books I’d read or hear about. Who knows, I may still have them stashed away somewhere.

I just bought a copy of “The Magic Apple Tree”, a favorite book I used to read seasonally. I’d get my copy from the library. Saw it mentioned on a blog, and just had to order it from Amazon. It was only a few dollars, but so much enjoyment packed into those pages. Books are my friends.

Here’s hoping that tomorrow I will have enough energy to go out. If I don’t walk, I will ellipse. I will.

>Success on Day One

>Well, I did it. I went out. Twice! Snow is coming in very soon, so I kind of had to go to the post office again to pick up a package the mailman didn’t deliver yesterday. My ibuprofen had not kicked in yet and walking was very painful and swervy. LOL Brought the package home, rested and stretched a bit, then back out. I ordered a book from the library this morning, so I wanted to walk up and get it while the sidewalks are still negotiable. So I did. Stopped across the street on the way back for a bottle of wine and some English Muffins, then home. The picture is pretty much what I looked like on the way back from the library. Only I do NOT carry a purse. Ever. Well, almost never. If it doesn’t fit in my pockets, it doesn’t go out with me. I was very tired and still in pain, though not as bad as earlier. But I did it. I went out—–twice. I am proud of me. Tomorrow I will probably be hobbling around here holding onto walls, but today….I went out twice. This is big for me, ever since I had that really bad year a while back. I got really de-conditioned and now I have to try and re-condition me. Let’s hope.

Been finding some really good recipes on other blogs and on Tastespotting. Too bad I don’t cook much. Some of the recipes are even healthy. I keep finding more blogs on all sorts of subjects. I should add them to my blog roll here, I guess. At least they are something to read when I don’t have a book. I learn a lot, find a lot of interesting and/or helpful information, and some good ideas for the pc, or for life in general. I do wish I could write as well as some (most) of the bloggers I read, and had things to say that were even half as interesting.

Whatever the failings of computers, and the web, and the internet, it is a connection to a world most of us would never have even been aware of. People from all over the world blog. Any subject you can imagine has a site somewhere. You can find anything and everything to buy, you can even sell your own stuff. I love my computer. It is my window on the world.

>Proud and Appalled

>I am both right now. Proud because even though I’ve been up all night, I got dressed and went out. I walked the half block to the post office and back. I sat on a bench for a few minutes on the way back. It’s chilly and the wind has a little bite, but it was great to be outside at 9am. I’m usually asleep at that time.

Appalled because it took me a while to convince myself to go out, and before I even got my coat on my hands were shaking and my heart was pounding. Mind you, I don’t usually go out alone anyway, and since my friend Tess has been under the weather for about a month, I haven’t been out at all. I have issues. What can I say? The worst part is, however, that I have been inactive for so long, that not only was walking very painful, I was huffing and puffing and am close to exhausted now that I’m back home.

So. I hereby declare that I am going to go out when walking is possible (no ice), and use my ellipse when I can’t go out. I will post here daily to brag about my success. How’s that for positive thinking?

Usually what happens when I resolve to do something, I seem to go into a flare and am incapacited for a long period of time. But barring that, I AM going to follow through. Watch me.

>It’s Happened

>Hi. My name is Jean, and I’m a webaholic. It’s true. Since there’s no good way of getting out of the house lately, and there is so very, very little that is watchable on the telly, I have been spending more time each day on my little desktop. I am now at the point where I turn it on when I get up, eat my meals in front of it, and stay up way later than normal because I can’t convince myself to turn it off. I’ve read all my books several times each, and there’s not a lot else going on. So here I am. Now, where’s the coffee and donuts?

>HAPPY NEW YEAR

>I’m not making any. Getting through life one day at a time is working quite well. So no, “I’m doing this next year”, or “I’m changing this”. I’m just being. In the snow. Well, the snow is outside, and I am inside, but it’s snowing and I love snow. When I say it’s snowing, I mean it is coming down like gangbusters. Like this:

only moreso.

I am having issues with my modem the past few days. Whenever the phone rings, the modem glitches and I start losing my phone and internet connections. Tv still works fine, however, which is only to be expected, since there’s nothing on tv I want to watch. I have to keep rebooting the modem with a pin. “There’s always something” Gilda Radner.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year, and that 2009 is the best year ever until 2010 and beyond, all of which will be even better. It’s snowing.

>Happy Christmas

>It was a good day. We had a nice dinner of prime rib, broccoli with hollandaise, and popovers. Canolis for dessert. I had a lovely chat with my friend Peter, who lives in Colorado. After dinner we played Trivial Pursuit and watched It’s a Wonderful Life. All in all, a happy Christmas day. Hope everyone else had a happy day as well.

>Merry Christmas

>
I was right about the snow. It’s almost completely gone. It’s a beautiful, sunny but cold day. I’m getting ready to go to my friend’s house. I made shortbread to take with me. I know it’s silly, but I’m feeling a twinge of guilt at leaving Gertrude alone on Christmas. She doesn’t know it’s Christmas, so what’s that about? I need to get out more. I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. Merry Christmas!

>Snow???

>My confidence in a white Christmas may have been premature. It has warmed up considerably and is raining the snow away. There may be none left tomorrow. I’m sure this makes the street crews happy. They were out very late last night clearing off snow from the downtown area streets. We have a good highway department here. All of our services are great, in fact. Fire, police, downtown association. They keep the downtown nice and appealing with lots to do during the year. Small towns can be great, although not all of them I’ve lived in have been as great as this one.

I am watching an On Demand video of snow falling on pines with Christmas music in the background. Very nice. Hope all of my (one? two?) readers have a wonderful holiday, and a healthy new year.

>Snow (More)

>It snowed a lot more today. Guess it really is winter. It’s only a few days til Christmas, so we’ll be having a white one this year for certain. Doesn’t feel very Christmas-y, probably since I’ve done nothing at all about it this year. No decorations, no tree, no cards, no presents. Nothing. Up until the last few days I was just too tired and draggy, and then it seemed to late to do anything anyway. It’s depressing. I’ve been getting flashbacks of Christmases when the kids were little, and it kind of makes me sad. I like living alone, but sometimes it would be really great to have family around. Something to look forward to, something to hope for, something to plan for. I’m tired tonight, and I think it makes me kind of maudlin. I had a pretty good day. I figured out that Friday I had, in addition to my morning coffee, three extra strength Excedrins, so I overdosed on caffeine. No wonder I didn’t sleep well. No wonder I’ve been having problems. I had been taking 2 excedrin every night when I went to bed. I’ve switched to Ibuprofen, but have to be careful with that or it does a number on my stomach. Of course, I don’t sleep at all well if I don’t take any pain pills, so it’s a catch-22 kind of thing. Anyway, the snow is pretty.

>Snow (still)

>It’s been snowing now for 24 hours. Very pretty. It’s piled up a bit on the ledges outside my windows. I think we’ve gotten about 8 or 9 inches so far. It’s only 19 degrees, too. I love winter.

After a really good day yesterday, I did not sleep very well and woke up with a sinus headache. So I am dragging today. But that’s okay. I had a good week and I loved it. Going to make some cheese balls for the freezer later, and someone posted a good pork loin crockpot recipe I am going to try in the next few days. I don’t use my crockpot enough. Hoping there is something on tv that’s watchable this afternoon, even old Lifetime Christmas movies I’ve seen would be better than all the reality drek and infomercials that seem to glut the digital…….what’s digital? Regular tv you can say ‘the airwaves’, but digital? Oh, well.

>Snow

>It started snowing at 2pm and has been coming down like crazy ever since. Very pretty. I don’t have to be out in it, so I am loving it. Had another good day. Up at 8:45. Got organized for the homemaker including making the shopping list. Got some extra things because next week we are supposed to get another storm, and it’s good to be prepared in case she can’t come. I’ve been keeping up with the dishes by hand, and gotten some more neatening/organizing done. I’d love this all to last, but if it doesn’t, I’m enjoying it while it’s here. It’s almost strange to feel relatively normal. It’s been such a long time since I’ve had days this good. Looking forward to Christmas, even though I have done nothing in preparation. No decorations or tree, didn’t send a card or buy a present or anything. It’s kind of late now, so I choose not to worry about it. Hey, I have a chronic, debilitating illness, right? LOL

>Another good day

>I went to bed at 9pm last night and zonked right out. No excedrin, just ibuprofen so no caffeine. Woke up at 7am feeling great. It’s 3pm now and I feel like I’ve been up for years, but I’ve gotten a lot done. For once. For me. I took all the food out of the cupboards and put it on the counter. Put some kitchen items on those shelves to make more room. I figure if I can see the food, I will eat it. I have a big ‘out of sight, out of mind’ problem since I got sick. I also cleaned out under the sink, which really needed it badly. Got it organized nicely with my tools, plant pots, light bulbs and such. And there’s still a lot of day left. I’m going to watch The Mentalist and Eli Stone on line, since I could not stay awake for them last night. Less commercials on line, too, which is always a good thing. It’s a cold, gray day today, but it’s nice in here. And neater. *smile* It feels really good to feel good. It’s been a while, and I missed it. Achy a bit, but otherwise nearly ‘normal’.

>Sleep Experiment

>I’ve been having some problems with either not sleeping or not staying awake. So I decided to take a week for an experiment. It’s day four. I quit all my meds except Excedrin and asthma inhaler. No knock-you-out pills. I actually am feeling much better. More alert. The sleep schedule is interesting, too. The first day or so, I slept a few hours here and there. Night before last I went to bed at 5pm and got up at 1:30 am. Crashed at 8pm last night, and woke up at 3:45 this morning. It’s 5:30 now. I’m up, dressed, had my coffee. Feeling good. I did get a pain flare yesterday afternoon, but was better after my friend Tess felt well enough to come over for some Big Kahuna. We always get hysterical playing that, because it makes up it’s own words, which are sometimes pretty funny, and most often nonsensical. But they get us points and laughter. I guess laughter really is the best medicine. I’m feeling some pain this morning, so I will take some Excedrin, but overall, I think this experiment is working pretty well. I even cooked yesterday.

>Oh, I figured it out!

>If I use Blogger dashboard, no link for pictures, if I go through my blog, link. Hmmmm.

So far today (today started at 1:30 am) I have had a lovely bath, spent some time trying to untangle my hair which never gets tangled but is severely tangled today, made simple syrup, made pesto with my home-grown basil and parsley, and messed about on the computer for way, way too long. I was hoping to go out, but friend Tess is not feeling well. If I get really enthusiastic, I may go to the post office. It is a lovely and warm day. Almost 60 degrees. Love it!

I am listening to that Christmas music from my previous post. I got that link from Projo Subterranean Homepage News, a blog in the Providence Journal, Projo.com. Old-fashioned music, but interesting.