Wow. I was really tired yesterday, a whole day after my appointment with the orthopedist. In bed by 11pm, got up at 4pm today. I can also stay awake for days at a time. Interesting? Well, maybe not.

I am hobbling a bit better, and can walk without the cane or walker when I first get up, but only briefly. I will need surgery, however. Oh, joy.

I had the windows open a bit yesterday and overnight, and tonight it is in the 30’s and windy. Not much going in when you sleep all day, but my friend Beth is coming for a visit Tuesday and that will be fun. Really looking forward to it. Haven’t seen her in awhile due to my stupid fibro issues. I’m actually just looking forward to everything, I think. Feeling very positive and energetic mentally, and want to DO something. Don’t know what, but something. That’s it for today.

Good morning. It is not even 8am and I am up, dressed, and ready to go to the orthopedist. Yay, me. Last night I was finalizing plans with Tess and I suggested we go to breakfast after. Seriously, folks. I can barely hobble along, how am I supposed to go to breakfast? Did not occur to me til later. This got me thinking.

I forget that I am ill. I forget that I can barely hobble along at the moment. As a general rule, I do not think about being ill or whatever problem I’m having physically at the moment. Sure, there are times it all gets me down, but usually I just chug along going with the flow and forget. I kind of think that’s a good thing. I’m not my illness, I’m a person with some limitations, yes, but I’m a person, not an illness. I kind of think it’s a good thing.

I’m no good at following the prompts. So far, most of them just didn’t inspire me. Guess this is the wrong kind of blog for that. Yesterday, my friend Tess brought me some food (food, it’s a good thing) and a walker. It makes it slightly easier to get around, because the balance problem of just using a cane is solved, but it doesn’t help with the pain, so I am still only getting up when absolutely necessary. Which is only a couple of times a day. I did sleep in the bed last night, instead of on the couch. It was wonderful. I should say, though, that even though I went to bed around 2am I think, I had had a medium coffee around 3pm when Tess came over, and so didn’t get to sleep until it was light out. Good think I like reading. Woke up at the new 5:15 or so.

I do wish they’d do away with daylight savings time. It’s harder in spring, bet even so, it takes at least a week to adjust. Even if you’re not sick.

Tomorrow I am calling around to find a new doctor so I can get this knee thing taken care of. Being immobile is quite scary, when you think about it. I’ve had almost a week of it, and I do not want to continue. In a way, it’s a wake up call to try to do more to get more mobile in general, and regain some of the independence I’ve lost since becoming ill.

I don’t like having to depend on other people. I know my friends are ready and willing to offer any help I may need, but I’d rather not need it in the first place. So I will try harder than I have been. Things were really hard for awhile, and I sort of just stopped doing things because of it. I used to use Dial-A-Ride, a service that takes you to appointments and such and picks you up after, but I had some bad experiences with not being picked up after for whatever reason they had, and it kind of put me off using it at all. Stress and having to walk some distance to find assistance takes a long time to recover from with fibro/cfs. Do not want to go through that again.

Not much else to say, so night all.

Totally missed posting yesterday. Slept most of the day anyway.

Today’s prompt is ‘Five Things That Changed My Life’.

Moving to New England. Being 2,000 miles from my family and not having to be involved in the daily chaos allowed me to focus on my own husband and children rather than things I really couldn’t change anyway.

Meeting my friends Beth and Tess. They are the best friends anyone could ever ask for, and I am so fortunate to know each of then, Beth for 35 years, Tess for ten, I think.

Being hospitalized after my husband left. I learned that I am not that worthless person he made me believe I was, I have the ability to help other people feel better, to make people laugh. I learned that people actually like me. It was a revelation, being there.

Getting my job in the group home. Using my experiences to help those teenage girls who were having really hard times in life. Making them laugh, diffusing anger, helping them figure things out. The best job ever. I still miss it more than ten years later.

Getting sick. Had to leave that job, had to move, my world decreasing over time until it is me here in my apartment with my cat, seeing friends occasionally, and almost never going out.

Some life-changing events were devastating when they happened, but on the whole, my basic idea that good comes out of everything has been proven true. My husband left, I found a new career. I got sick, but it turns out my life is happier than it ever was before. You play the hand you’re dealt, with as much grace as you can muster, and in spite of the occasional melt-down, life is pretty darn good. You just have to notice the good things and stop focusing on the bad. It really is possible, and so worth the effort.

Almost missed posting today. Slept til 2:15 then just played on laptop and watched a bit of tv. Googled the knee thing, and I apparently need to see a doctor. A house call would be good, since how am I supposed to get to a doctor if I can’t walk. Tess is bringing over a walker tomorrow, so maybe that will help, and I may go to the emergency room. There’s always something. Other than the knee thing, I feel fine. Go figure.

See the tall tree behind the pole? Gone. Lost to the storm, apparently. I noticed a couple of days after the storm.

Using my own prompt today, which is just write whatever comes out. Can still barely walk, although I did manage to take a shower….very carefully. I thought if I killed myself in it, at least I’d be clean, right? I slept on the couch all day after being awake on the couch all night. The couch is my new home, I guess. I had crackers and carrots for dinner, since they were already here on the end table. Feeding treats to Gertrude, but am going to try to make it to the kitchen in a bit so I can put out some real food for her. This living alone thing gets a bit hairy when you are pretty immobile. Someone please feed me, make me some coffee, bring me some water and my pain pills. No? Well crap!

Did kind of lose it this morning. I could hear a chainsaw for quite a long time, and I just know they were cutting down some of the flowering pears on main street. I can’t see from here, though. They did put some bracing ties on two of the trees across the street, though, Did some trimming, too. But I was getting really upset about the trees, when I realized I was obsessing about trees because I am scared and upset about not being able to walk. I have really good repression skills, so it would seem. I mean, I’m just here. On my own. What happens to me if it gets worse, not better? Can’t let myself think about it, so trees it is. Works for me.

I was invited to join a post-a-day from here:

WEGO

There is a prompt for every day. Here is the first one:

Titles of my future book.

My future book? What would I call it?

1. Chronic Illness Doesn’t Mean You Can’t Enjoy Your Life.

2. Attitude: It Makes All The Difference When You Are Ill.

3. You Are Not Your Illness.

4. Why Yes, My Life IS A Soap Opera.

5. Self-Pity Does Not Change Anything.

How’s that? I had a good day today, in spite of not really being able to walk due to really painful pain in my knee. On the other hand, nothing else hurts for a change. It all moved to my knee. Luckily for me, today was my homemaker day, so she bought easy-eat no-prep foods, washed my baby carrots, brought everything to where I am ensconced on the couch with the laptop and remote, hung the laundry on the drying rack, and put out plenty of food for Gertrude. I love my homemaker. We also had a lovely chat with lots of laughing.

After she left, my friend Tess came over with COFFEE. Yes! We played a couple of games on the laptop with more laughing. Now I’m just watching local news with Gertrude, eating my carrots and a banana and organic cheese puffs. I am an ‘open box, eat contents’ person most of the time. I do eat fruit, avocados and mangoes among other things. Bananas are my favorite fruit.

Hey, that was a pretty good post for me. Especially since I’m tired, and didn’t think I’d be able to come up with anything to write. Yay, me.

Oh, the poor trees. We didn’t get a lot of snow, an inch or so maybe. But it was wet and heavy and the wind was wild. The snow was blowing up, down, left, right, swirling, all seemingly at the same time. It was gorgeous. But the poor trees. The one that lost a branch to the big rain/wind storm a few weeks ago, lost another huge branch to the snow. All of the trees were mashed down, like a big hand was pressing on them. They were a bit raggedy before, but now they just look shredded. There is a big gap where the branch used to be, and I can see more of Tedeschi’s than I ever wanted to, thank you very much. If the tree devastation keeps up, pretty soon I will ONLY see Tedeschi’s. All those beautiful flowers in the spring will be gone. Breaks my heart even to think about it. I’ll try to get some pictures tomorrow.

Here’s a vid I came across about Occupy Wall Street, sort of. I like this guy. “Just because you’re immoral doesn’t mean you’re infertile”. Made me laugh. Check it out.

It didn’t snow much, but we’re supposed to have a Nor’easter tomorrow and Sunday, where we may or may not get more. We’re right on the line. It’s early for snow here.

I started with the all-over fibro pain last night before I went to bed, and since my body seems to deal with that by sleeping, I slept til 8pm tonight. 8pm. Nobody needs that much sleep. Better now, but the leg/walking pain is worse again. Pain is my life. It sure gets in the way of things I want to do. Play the hand you’re dealt, with as much grace as you can, I guess. I whine, I know I do, but I pretty much accept my life and am grateful for what I can do. I also make sure to have something to laugh about every day. Usually my friend Tess takes care of that, cause we get hysterically laughing over absolutely nothing at all. ‘Hello’ when answering the phone can get it started. Hello. Hello. Hi. Hi. Why hello there. Hiiiiiii. And before you know it, we’re cracking up laughing. Crazy can be fun, people, I’m telling you.

My new printer came yesterday, but I haven’t opened the box yet. Too much pain. My old printer still works fine, but not with Windows 7. I’ve had the old one several years, and bought it refurbished, so I know it’s a good one. HP. I bought a Canon this time, cause it was on sale cheap and I got free shipping. I never buy anything without free shipping if I can help it. Sometimes shipping can be as much as twice the cost of the actual item. Please! Anyway, I’m hoping this one is good and lasts as well as the old one. Seems like I’ve had to buy a lot of things lately. Everything goes at the same time, it seems, although the printer didn’t actually ‘go’, it still works, except that it doesn’t. If you know what I mean. *smile* Good thing I have a credit card, or I’d never be able to replace anything. Debt, it’s a good thing, except that it’s not. If you know what I mean. LOLOL *LOL*?…I am so behind the times, aren’t I? Oh, well.

After raining all day. I like snow. Snow is good. 🙂

After being up a few hours today, and still in as much pain as I have been, barely able to walk, I suddenly got very tired and could not stay awake. Fell asleep on the couch and slept about four hours. When I woke up, pain much less. I can walk without even using the cane now. What changed? I have no idea. I’m happy to have less pain and be pretty mobile, but still it’s puzzling how this illness works.

Not a lot, but I can sign petitions and try to make my readers aware of the issues I think matter. Here is one:

Stand Up For Your Freedom

I hope you read, watch, sign, do what’s right.

I’ve long been anti-deregulation, blaming Reagan for a huge chunk of the problems we all face today. It was down to him that we have so many homeless people, people who should be in long-term care, or getting needed help from resources funded by our taxes. By ‘our’ I mean all of us, including that wealthy 1 percent who’ve had their taxes cut, and can afford expensive lawyers to find loopholes so they don’t have to pay taxes at all. Remember, they got rich on the backs of the rest of us. The people who do the actual work in this country. The other 99 percent. Please participate in democracy, people. It’s the opportunity thousands of men and women have died in war to give us. Use it.

Have I mentioned how much I love Amazon? I love Amazon a lot. A real lot.

The pain has been winning lately, and I upped my Zoloft by 25 mils two nights ago. Feeling better in general, less negative than I had been, but so far it hasn’t helped the pain at all. I can barely walk a lot of the time, even with the cane. And tonight, I almost fell down. Tripped on my own feet, fell against the desk and onto the desk chair. Lucky I was close to them. That hasn’t happened before, the falling. A bit upset about it, mainly because the people who keep tabs on me so I get to have a homemaker always ask me that. Have you fallen? No. Well, almost. God, I hate being sick.

Gertrude and I are just vegging on the couch. I made pizza for dinner and it’s almost time for bed if I expect to get up at a decent hour. Ha. Like that ever happens.

My friend Tess is back from vacation and came over today. We played Big Kahuna, that crazy word game that always leaves us laughing like idiots. We’re hoping I will be ambulatory on Thursday so we can go to lunch. We haven’t gone to lunch in a long time. Now that her husband is retired and home all day, we don’t do nearly as many things as we used to. Neither of us have been all that well, anyway. Oh, well.

It seems we are finally done with hot and sticky. Took long enough. It’s windows closed time, as it gets pretty chilly at night, and not that much warmer during the day in here. Guess that’s all.

Posted this before, but it’s worth a repeat, especially these days.  Lots of interesting vids in the sidebar, too.

Here Are Four Charts That Explain What The Protesters Are Angry About….

You could watch the vid and read the comments.  I did.

Lies-The Video

It got me thinking, and that can never be good.  I often wonder why the right-wing tea-partiers and their ilk cannot seem to get that allowing religion to dominate government is exactly what has resulted in the Taliban and the fanatics here and in the Middle East.  I just don’t understand.

The comments with the vid above got me wondering if I am the only one who sees a similarity in Germany blaming the Jews for all their problems and certain factions in my country blaming poor and disabled people for all of their problems, and their inability to see that the rich one-percent are behind the teaparty et al, and they are not doing it for our benefit.  I just don’t understand.

We used to be proud that we were not like ‘them’, now we seem to revel in the same ideas we once condemned.  I just don’t understand.

Can anyone enlighten me?

Signed petitions today.  Here is one issue.  I know.  When I use the ‘press this’ bookmarklet, it makes the whole post clickable, ot just the address of the page I am posting.  Annoying.  If anyone knows how the fix this, please let me know.  Thank you.

The Occupy Wall Street movement spreads – The Big Picture – Boston.com.

This made my day,.  If you know me in person, you’ll know why, 

No one makes cards for this. But they should. — TheBloggess.com.

Woke up freezing this morning.  Yes, I said morning.  Sleep is getting back to a more livable schedule, for however long it lasts.  Closed the windows and fired up the electric fireplace.  We’ve been having rain every day for several days now, but this is the first really cold night and day.

I am feeling relatively well, too.  Not so much pain, although brain fog has made itself known the past three days.  Okay so far today.  I think it’s allergies.  I hope.  I’ve been enjoying not being foggy since I started the new med last….wow, last October, I think  it was.  A whole year of no brain fog.  Yay, me.

I am planning to cook again.  Chili, this time.  Haven’t made chili in years.  I am using ground turkey, since I don’t eat beef.  Looking forward to it.  It’s good weather for hot and comforting food.  Brrrr.  Still freezing, even with the fireplace and a sweater.

Has anyone really noticed a difference in the normal weather?  Here in New England it felt for a bit like we’d moved down south with all the heat and humidity in September.  September is not for heat and humidity.  Then day after day of off and on rain.  Also not normal.  It will be interesting to see what the winter brings.