>It seems I am going to be a Neilsen household for a week in November. Fun. I get to comment as well as record which shows I watch and boy am I gonna tell them to quit with the pop-ups and the huge logos when I’m trying to watch a show. Also, I would rather have longer but fewer commercial breaks. Watching some shows is like reading a chapter of a really good mystery and then having to read two chapters of Herbert Hoover’s biography before you can move on to the next chapter. Think they’ll listen? Yeah, me neither.

Still having pretty good days. Don’t know why, but I’m liking it. I even had my homemaker buy some winter squash and cabbage, which I am planning but not counting on having enough energy to prepare. I want to make stuffed cabbage as soon as ground turkey goes on sale, and I love winter squash. There is so much you can do with it. Cutting it is hard, though, so I have to be having a really good day, or microwave it a bit first, which I’ve never actually tried.

My homemaker is really nice. She’s fun to spend time with. She is young, with young children, and it is amazing how uninformed she is about things. She had no idea diet soda is bad for you, why you should never eat ground beef, what an acorn squash was. And that’s only the food-related things. I really like her. She asks a lot of questions and really wants to know things. Did I mention she’s fun? She is. *smile*

It’s getting colder by the day. The Neilsen guy was very friendly on the phone this morning. He said it was 90 in Florida, where he lives, and has been every day for awhile, and he is seriously considering moving back to Buffalo, NY, where he’s from. I’ve been to Buffalo, in the winter. Brrrr! I told him Massachusetts is very nice. LOL He said it didn’t used to be so hot all the time in Florida, you could have the windows open and fresh air, but now it’s a/c all the time. Unless there’s an ice age, I am never going to Florida. So!

Oh, if you want to know why you should never eat ground beef, here’s the link:


>It’s Been a Good Week

>I actually cooked on Wednesday and Thursday, and Wednesday I had enough energy left to wash up the dishes afterwards. I’ve also been tidying up some here and there. Finally got the kitchen counter cleared of the big tray with meds and vitamins, a couple of vases, and some other stuff that was taking up room. Table is still a disaster, but I am sorting some papers on it, so too bad.

It’s about 3am and it’s gorgeous. Warm with a soft rain falling. My kind of night. I’m up way too late again, but that seems to be the case all the time lately. My natural sleep cycle seems to be several hours later than normal. Can’t blame it on the fibro, I’ve always been that way. I am not a morning person.

Been reading some Torchwood fan-fiction. The only other ff I’ve read is some Firefly. There are some good writers out there.

I saw that Pres Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize. Like everyone else, even though I’m a fan of his, I had to ask ‘huh???’. But I guess they gave it because the tone of this administration is more about finding ways to solve problems, rather than ‘let’s just bomb the hell out of everybody’. I wish people would give him a chance to do his work, instead of just being critical and questioning everything. Where were all the naysayers and criticizers when we were being conned into going to war?
God, I hate politics. Or maybe just politicians. And right-wing nuts who spend their time fomenting hatred and unrest. Aren’t those supposed to be wrong? But what do I know? I prefer to just sit back and watch Craig Ferguson, who is in my opinion the funniest man on the planet. And hooray for Al Franken, too. A smart man on the correct side of the divide that is so relentlessly spread by the elephant party and their minions. /rant

>What Would You Do?

>The London Eye

A post from http://www.fightingfatigue.org/?p=7801 with a video of answers to that question. If you were completely well, what would you do? Needs thinking on.
I would get my apartment organized, decluttered, clean. I would get a dog. I would volunteer for things I feel passionate about. I would buy a car, renew my license, and go places again. I would visit friends without them having to come and get me and bring me home again. I would walk everywhere possible. I like walking, I just can’t anymore. Oh, the possibilities! I couldn’t go back to my old job, it’s been eleven years. I’d definitely have more fun. I’d love to go check out The Providence Zen Center. I only live a few miles away, and I’ve never been. I’d take a cruise. I’d go to Europe. I’d go to Cardiff, to see where Torchwood is set. Of course, some of these would depend on me winning the lottery first, or somehow falling into money. But most of all, I wouldn’t just sit here. It would be good. So, readers. What would YOU do?

>Lovely Day

>I got some tidying up done, and my friend Tess brought some groceries I had asked her to get for me. Then we played games on here for a bit. Fun. We always get hysterical with laughter when we play pc games. Especially Big Kahuna, the word game. It’s my fav.

Wondering what my life would be like if I felt even this good on a daily basis. I still tire easily, and have some pain, but I am pretty functional. I could actually cook, and even go out to the library or something. Do more decluttering around here, too. It’s amazing how backed up everything gets when you are not well. If you have family, they can pitch in with the tidying up and keeping things running well, but when it’s just you and the cat, dishes pile up, mail piles up (got my mail, finally), everything gets messy. Then your feeling better time has to be spent clearing up all the things you couldn’t do because you were feeling crappy. Feeling good times should be reserved for fun. Fun is very, very important in life. Even when you feel crappy, fun makes you feel that little bit better. I read fun blogs like the LOL stuff and Cute Overload because they make me smile, and quite often make me laugh out loud.

I wonder if anyone else out there is dealing with chronic illness on your own, and how you manage life. I like living alone, and not being responsible for anyone but myself and the cat, but sometimes it would be so nice to have someone who would cook a meal, or clean up the kitchen, or even make a cup of tea for me. What do you think, readers?

>Much Better

I am. Much better today. Slept well, feel pretty good. It’s a gorgeous fall day, too. Sunshine, breezy, comfortable. I have showered, but I need to get dressed so I can go down and get my mail. Last time I got it was last Monday, over a week ago. I’m sure the mailman is not happy with me.

I found this program on tv the other day about a food challenge in Canada. It was to only eat items produced within one hundred miles of where you live, for one hundred days. Not so simple as you might think. No sugar or coffee or salt or pepper or any spices. A long list of things we take for granted. It really got me thinking about how we live. My first thought was what if it was winter? I live in New England, and there isn’t a lot in season in winter. You’d have to live more like our ancestors, learning how to preserve food. How would you do that? Canning, root cellars. No brining, because no salt. I think this would be really hard for anyone, but for someone with a chronic illness, the work involved would make it impossible. How fortunate we are to live in a time where food is easily available in pretty much ready-to-eat forms year round. I could not survive otherwise, since I live by myself and cannot afford a private chef.

That’s something I’ve learned since becoming ill. Not to take so much for granted, because I can’t. You have to be healthy to grow your own food, prepare your own food, raise your own animals, all the things people had to do not that long ago. Illness makes you count your blessings. I know some people spend their time bemoaning the fact that they can’t be their pre-illness selves, and trying to find something to fix them. I do that, too, sometimes. But I prefer to learn the lessons of illness. Appreciating what I can do, what is available to help me survive with illness, friends who are willing to help out with the really hard stuff. I think I have a wonderful life, even though it isn’t the life I thought it would be, or the life I used to have. It is still a good life, with friends and fun and lots to be grateful for. Like Jack and Ianto. *smile*

>I Seem to Be Sick

I never get sick, but last Monday a friend came over and she was coming down with a cold and I must have gotten it. I don’t have cold symptoms, though. I just feel worse than normal. Does a cold or similar illness manifest as a fibro flare instead of the actual cold symptoms? I haven’t had a fever, although I did have a brief ‘sweat’ thing yesterday, for no reason I could see. I’ve been spending most of my time on the couch or sitting here. I’m thinking maybe I DO get sick, but it causes increased fibro symptoms in lieu of what ‘normal’ people get when they are sick. I am puzzled and confused. Maybe what I think are flares are really that I’ve caught something and don’t know it. Or maybe this doesn’t make any sense at all and I should just go to bed. I love this snap of Ianto, btw. “He always cheats.” I snagged it off a fanvid.


>Too late. Someone twittered the crazy post. I’m going to put it back, I guess. As soon as I figure out how. Just remember, much better now. Thanks. *smile*

Well, I would have put it back, but I saved it on Evernote, and Evernote has let me down. It’s not there. I was pretty much just feeling really down, and relating it to my obsession with Torchwood. Depression grabs me sometimes, but after a few days, it lets go again. Torchwood made me sad because I was relating to Ianto and I felt he was never really sure he was loved or that he mattered, and I’ve had that in my life. Then I described my feelings about my life since my husband left, even before I got sick. It’s like I’ve fallen through the Rift, and I’m drifting around in this limbo without knowing where I am, where I’ve been, where I’m going, how to get home. But my home, and the life that I had then, no longer exist, so there’s nothing to get back to. Like this is not my real life, and I am just in that limbo waiting. For what, I don’t know. For my life to somehow come back. I feel like nothing I say or think or feel or do, or how I feel with being ill, matters. Nothing has any meaning because I have fallen through the Rift and this is not my life. It’s not as crazy-sounding as it was when I originally posted it, cause I was feeling really, really sad and it definitely came through in the post. I miss Ianto, even though he was never real. Have I mentioned that I’m crazy? *smile*

Gee, people, if you’re going to twitter me, couldn’t you leave a little comment here, as well. Did you twitter because I was fascinating? Because I sound like an idiot? Because I talk about Torchwood? I’d like to know. Sometimes I think I might as well write on iDaily Diary on my laptop, which isn’t connected to the internet. Complain, complain, complain. That’s all I seem to be doing. But I really am better. I’d just really like to hear from someone out there. Oh, well.