Well, I would have put it back, but I saved it on Evernote, and Evernote has let me down. It’s not there. I was pretty much just feeling really down, and relating it to my obsession with Torchwood. Depression grabs me sometimes, but after a few days, it lets go again. Torchwood made me sad because I was relating to Ianto and I felt he was never really sure he was loved or that he mattered, and I’ve had that in my life. Then I described my feelings about my life since my husband left, even before I got sick. It’s like I’ve fallen through the Rift, and I’m drifting around in this limbo without knowing where I am, where I’ve been, where I’m going, how to get home. But my home, and the life that I had then, no longer exist, so there’s nothing to get back to. Like this is not my real life, and I am just in that limbo waiting. For what, I don’t know. For my life to somehow come back. I feel like nothing I say or think or feel or do, or how I feel with being ill, matters. Nothing has any meaning because I have fallen through the Rift and this is not my life. It’s not as crazy-sounding as it was when I originally posted it, cause I was feeling really, really sad and it definitely came through in the post. I miss Ianto, even though he was never real. Have I mentioned that I’m crazy? *smile*
Gee, people, if you’re going to twitter me, couldn’t you leave a little comment here, as well. Did you twitter because I was fascinating? Because I sound like an idiot? Because I talk about Torchwood? I’d like to know. Sometimes I think I might as well write on iDaily Diary on my laptop, which isn’t connected to the internet. Complain, complain, complain. That’s all I seem to be doing. But I really am better. I’d just really like to hear from someone out there. Oh, well.