> Seriously!! I took the new cat back to the shelter today. Gertrude hated her, and I just thought it best. Now I feel like a real sh-t! Poor kitty. It wasn’t her fault. I’m really not happy with myself at all now. I suck!!!

> 
I got a new cat at the shelter today. Jasmine. She is a very pretty gray, but just as timid as Gertrude. What was I thinking? She is affectionate, though, in a ‘yes I’m scared but you can scratch my ear anyway’ kind of manner. Gertrude is jealous and sat on my lap for two whole hours and even let me comb her really well. Going to be interesting. The first thing they did after we brought Jasmine home and I chased Gertrude out of the bedroom was hide. Is that not cute?

>But I am feeling somewhat better. Just writing about my feelings helped, and the comment was nice, too. Still sad, but not really ready to cry all the time. Who would think a little four-legged beastie would have such an effect on one’s life?

The weather has been great. A few thunderstorms here and there, lots of clouds, but mostly just coolish and not too humid. Perfect summer weather, if you ask me. Had to reschedule my nutritionist appointment tomorrow since my ride is sick. Got a later-in-the-day one on rescheduling. I don’t do mornings well.

Would really like to get some results from all the tests I’ve had, but until I hear from new doctor, I guess it’s just wait and wait some more. Still feel fine, though.

Got a new toy for the Gertrude. She’s interested, but still too wary to come right out and play with it. It’s a ball in a circular thing that she can bat to make it go around. There’s a scratch-pad in the middle, too. She is not the scratcher that Simon was, apparently. She seems to be getting a teensy bit braver today. Actually came out and went into the kitchen a while ago. I am doing twice daily feedings of 1/4 cup dry mixed with a small spoonful of canned instead of having dry food out all the time. I can tell who’s eating what now since there’s only one who’s doing the eating. I’ve really learned quickly who made all the messes, too, and it wasn’t her.

>The weather pixie, that is. Blah day. It’s lonely without the Simonator. Tomorrow I’m going to shoo Gertrude out of the bedroom and close the door, so she’ll have to be out among the living (me).

>Simon was feeling pretty bad for a couple of days there, so vet said to stop the antibiotic he was taking. He seems much better now, and is even eating more. Still not himself, although he is back trying to get out the door whenever it opens. Dreading when he can’t eat anymore. Such is life.

>This morning, Simon was walking around my head when I woke up. Later he was nudging me with his nose, staring at me, being generally annoying………….in other words, he was back to his old self. The vet said the anesthesia can take a while to wear off, but it’s been a week! I’m glad he’s back, and he’s eating very well, too. Tomorrow I’ll try the laser light and see if he’ll play. Yesterday he just stared at it and then put his head down. I know today doesn’t mean he’s going to be okay, but it makes me feel better to have him be himself again. *big smile*

>The news was as bad as I’d feared. Squamous cell carcinoma of the tongue, which has infiltrated to the point that it is untreatable. Even if it was treatable, the outcome is never good, says the vet. So no chemo, just waiting til he can no longer manage to eat because of the size of the growth. This is hard. I’ve never had to decide when to put down a pet, let alone one who has been at times my only companion/friend. For now, I am just going to spoil him rotten, which is pretty easy since all he does is eat and then lay around or sleep. He does like sitting on my lap, so I let him as much as possible. I don’t want him to suffer, that’s the main thing. Poor Simon. Poor me. That’s the way of the circle of life, but knowing that does not make it any easier to deal.

> TO ME
Took the first step today: bought a two-bin laundry sorter on wheels, with removable bags so my homemaker can carry one down with the laundry already in it. I realized that sorting the laundry the day she comes (don’t ask why I don’t do it the day before, I live in the NOW) takes more energy than I can afford, so pre-sorted works for me.

Tomorrow my friends are coming over to remove some things I don’t need and take away a load of recycling. I’m not quite as ready as I’d like to be, but I’m just happy someone actually wants to do this for me. I have good friends. I am very, very fortunate.

It’s been a gray and rainy couple of days, but that’s my kind of weather. Today it almost seemed like fall, though, with wind and damp and gray and coats. But only in the 40’s, so not really that bad. An extra shirt as a jacket was plenty for me.

Looking forward to tomorrow. Hope it goes well and no one is in a bad mood or anything. Stuff will be gone and I will be happy. Hooray!

> It’s been a glorious spring day. A thunderstorm this morning, then around 70 degrees and sunny. Beautiful day. I found out that a friend is giving me, for my birthday, the gift of physical labor, which I do not have energy for. She and her DH will take away items I need to get rid of, help me with organization, etc. And steak. What a gift. I am very lucky to have such wonderful friends. It’s a been a good day all around.