>I’ve noticed than I am getting more and more depressed since Simon died. I don’t think it’s because of that, but because he was such an in-your-face animal that he took up a lot of my time and energy. There was always something going on with him around. And now there isn’t. It’s really shown me how alone I am, how empty my life has become since I got fibro. Things I didn’t have time to think about when he was around. I’ve gotten more and more immobile because of the pain walking causes, and there’s my innate fear of being out in public by myself. That has been a life-long issue. I need to think about this. What to do about it, how to change my life some more. I’m feeling really, really sad, and I need to fix that. I just want to cry all the time, and that can’t be good. I don’t want to up my meds, because that just masks problems, it doesn’t help to understand or make them better. I don’t know what to do just yet, but I’m hopeful that I can figure it out.
>You’ve had a life-long fear of being out in public by yourself?? I had no idea! Any idea why?As for the loneliness; oy, not much help from me there. I am not, as I’m sure you can tell, very good at dealing with it my own self. Having something to do seems to help, but NOT sitting at the computer for hours (done that, and while it *seems* that you have a life that way, you really don’t).Can you start some sort of local support group for fibro and do it at your apt? Or a mini-group for any of the stuff you like? 3 or 4 people once a week or so might be just the thing you need, and with them coming to you that’s even better.
>I know what you mean. When you have fibro, going out can take a lot of courage. I was worried about going out. what if I get a fatigue attack? What about the fogs? i did have quite a bit of blank out moments. But out I went!Aim for a nearest “target”. Nearest corner store? Grocery store? Aim to buy your newspapers, or get a pint of milk.. and slowly build from there? Just a suggestion from my experience. I am so sorry to hear about simon
>Thanks, FMSRA. It’s really hard, the going out, just for the reasons you mention. I’ve had some really difficult experiences that took weeks to recover from, so I just kind of stopped going out. The natural ‘not wanting to be stared at’ thing just makes it that much harder. I’m really good at talking myself out of doing things I really am not comfortable doing in the first place. I really miss that stupid cat. It gets really lonely without him. He was a CAT, for pete’s sake, but he was a good cat. 🙂
Sounds to me that even without the illness you were really conscious about people’s stares? I was quite like that growing up, I hated gatherings or crowds because a part of me always felt ‘they’ are starring. I understand.
I was an extremely shy child. I would cross the street if someone was coming towards me, rather than having to walk by them. Not that I was afraid of them, but I somehow thought I was this horrible thing, and couldn’t bear to have people look at me. Now that I’m older, I can look back and perhaps pin down the reason for that, but I’m not really positive. Never dealt with those issues in therapy. Too late now. No longer matters.