From one of my favorite persons. He’s kind of bizarre sometimes, but he knows how to enjoy life. It’s a good thing.

“Honestly, the world can be a dark enough place. Light it up.”
→ John Barrowman

We have had snow. Serious snow. Three Mondays in a row now, I think. I like snow. I don’t have to shovel or dig out my car or any of that, so I can just enjoy it. Sorry, those of you who have to do those things.

Feeling better. Got over feeling sorry for myself, I guess. It’s amazing how much just putting stuff out there helps. I slide towards the black hole now and then, pain is hard to live with, but I still seem able to pull myself back out after a bit. Actually, it’s the being alone and living with pain that is hardest. I do well on my own, but sometimes I just wish there was someone here to care, and to help. You play the hand you’re dealt, and this is mine, so I do my best to cope most of the time. I am alive, I am basically a happy person, I have food, and warmth, and a roof over my head. A lot of people don’t, so gratitude is something to keep in mind. That’s it for today.

It’s not going well. I admit it. I am better in that I don’t feel horribly muzzy and sleepy and miserable all the time, but the pain is relentless. I went to the doctor last week to discuss the need for prednisone, with which she agreed, told me how much to take for how long before decreasing again, and then failed to send in the scrip. So I won’t be getting it til tomorrow, which is my last pill from the leftovers from last time I was on it.

I have made the mistake in the past of saying that I am not coping well. What I mean is I am not managing well. Cooking, tidying up, every little thing that makes up daily life just does not happen. Dealing with paperwork, clearing off surfaces where I have just put stuff for the time-being, none of this happens either. Everything is made monumental and overwhelming by pain. I have been eating peanut butter crackers and power bars this week. I’m sure bad nutrition doesn’t help. Pain meds don’t work anymore, but instead of giving me something that works, they want me to take prilosec so the ones I am taking that aren’t working won’t eat holes in my stomach. Modern medicine is so helpful.

I am discouraged, to say the least, and not up for blogging much at all. ‘If you can’t say something good, don’t say anything at all.’ That’s Thumper, I believe. I love Bambi. Not the sad part, but the rest. Oh, I wish there was someone else to help. Being alone has its’ good points, but it can also be extremely difficult when you are ill. No one to make a cup of tea, or bring your meds when you’ve left them way over there and it hurts too much to get up and retrieve them. Or get the water to take them with. This is the official February whine post. Done for the month, I hope, but don’t expect to see much posting. Not that any one cares. Not that anyone reads or comments or whatever. Why am I doing this crap anyway? IDEK anymore. See? Illness just makes everything suck, even when it doesn’t. It has gotten extremely difficult to have a positive attitude lately, so it’s better to just withdraw and not do it, right? Oh, I probably shouldn’t post this, but I don’t even care anymore. However, I will get better. I always do. Mentally, if not physically.

On the bright side…WINTER. Blizzards, snowstorms, freezing cold. I love it! I hate hot and sticky, so winter is a good thing, and we haven’t had a decent one for a few years. Until now. Hooray!!!

“Just because one person’s problem is less traumatic than another’s doesn’t mean they’re required to hurt less”

― J.A. Redmerski, The Edge of Never

Could this be us?

We are gearing up for the apocalypse, is you listen to any news program anywhere. It is going to snow. Snow happens. It is winter, don’t you know? Good grief, you’d think nothing this bad has ever happened in the history of history. OR reason ten billion why watching the news is a really, really bad idea.

I am better. Not great, I will never be great again, healthwise, but much better than I have been. So have to see the doctor before he will represcribe the medicine that actually works, instead of the zillions I’ve had before that didn’t. Yes, I am grouchy. But better. Getting things done here and there. Small things, but still…. Yay, me.

Or not. It’s not, actually. Been going well, that is. After becoming just a mass of pain and virtually non-functioning, I have gone back on the Prednisone. Started Sunday, and am actually somewhat better. Less pain, more function, not sleeping most of the time. It keeps getting harder, though. Harder to cope, harder to manage, harder to just be alone all the time. Sometimes it just seems as if there is no point to anything. I’d really like to be somewhere there was someone who cared about me, but that place does not exist. Oh, well.

I’ve been blogging for eight years, and I just passed 20 followers.  I am on a roll.  Poppyseed, I think. ☺

Went here:
http://www.age-test.com/

Discovered my real age is 28. Some days it’s 12, though, I’m positive. 🙂

on a blog I came across, wherein the blogger hates ‘liberals’ because some people have found justification for the horror going on in France right now. Blaming the victims, as it were. This bothered me, so I felt the need to express my view. I am posting it here because I’d like to know what other people think of what I said. I have my opinions about things, but sometimes I wonder if I am completely off the mark or right on. I think it’s easy to get into a certain mindset and not be able to see where you have gone wrong, something I frequently think has happened to people who watch Fox News. So anyone? Opinions, people?

Here’s what I said:

Do you not think that condemning an entire group based on the remarks of some is part of the problem? Liberals? I consider myself a liberal, and I am appalled at what is going on in France. I am appalled by anyone killing anyone in the name of whatever today’s cause may be. Wouldn’t ‘ignorant’ be a better name for those who see justification in killing for any reason? Uneducated? Misinformed? Even ‘brainwashed’ (probably by Fox News) could apply. Or maybe just ‘stupid’?

Unfortunately, we cannot go back to the days when everyone lived in a country that fostered their own values. People are mobile. We are all way behind in figuring out how to mix cultures peacefully, instead we call names, and group people into categories, and discriminate against those who are different, and we also, unfortunately, move into a new country and expect the citizenry in it to conform to our old country’s mores, rather than learning to tolerate and adapt to those of our new country. Seems to me that expecting a new country to instead adapt to your culture is just another way of invading and taking over, things humanity has been doing since we developed brains, apparently. I don’t know how to fix things, but contributing to the problem by condemning an entire group based on the actions of some, seems not to be the way to go

I saw on the news that the brothers involved have said they want to die as martyrs.  So they can go to heaven and have access to a lot of virgins, if I understand Muslim martyrdom correctly.  So it’s really all about getting some?  Seriously?  Here’s another good quote from Salman Rushdie that I came across in the blogs:

“I stand with Charlie Hebdo, as we all must, to defend the art of satire, which has always been a force for liberty and against tyranny, dishonesty and stupidity. ‘Respect for religion’ has become a code phrase meaning ‘fear of religion’. Religions, like all other ideas, deserve criticism, satire, and, yes, our fearless disrespect.”

I’ve wanted to post about this all day, but I’ve just been so angry, I can’t really find the words. Right now, jury selection is ongoing for the Boston Bomber trial. Relative to this, I was recently discussing with a friend the whole terrorism model. I don’t get it. How did killing people out for a fun day running or watching the Boston Marathon fix any of the problems in the Middle East? How did murdering what, eleven people, in cold blood in France help the Islamic cause? Did either of these acts make us feel sympathetic towards their cause? I don’t think so. Did it magically fix the problems? No. So what is the point? I do not understand how anyone can think that indiscriminately murdering and maiming innocent people helps their cause in any way. What kind of human being can do such a thing and think it is the right thing to do? How can you be that twisted? I despair for my species more and more as time goes on. Some of us make me ashamed to be human.

About making “Twelve Years A Slave”: ‘These days America’s changed. Black people can be anything they want to be, as long as it’s President or….shot.’
Quote starts 8:57.

An infomercial shown on PBS for pledging is still an infomercial.

http://www.newnownext.com/14-best-lgbt-commercials-of-2014/12/2014/

After hardly blogging at all this month, I seem to be trying to make up for it in one evening. 🙂

Besides, this guy is great in any context.

I started on Blogger eight years ago today. Did not know if I’d have anything to say, but apparently I did. This is my 954th post. I’ve gone through the whole range of emotions during this time. Happy, depressed, angry, puzzled, you name it. I hope that the miserably angry and/or depressed posts haven’t been the most I’ve done. I do get discouraged sometimes with the stupidity of my fellow humans, get sick of being sick and in pain, get lonely and weary of being alone 90 or more per cent of the time, but basically, underneath it all, I am a happy person. I have a good life, with enough to eat, cool or warm air at the touch of a dial, protection from the storms, the internet, some good friends who I don’t get to see often enough, and a couple of really great kids who I see even less often. And my cat. Can’t get by without my cat. Having another living thing around makes a huge difference when you’re alone, even if she refuses to make a cup of tea for me when I can’t get up to do it myself. Hey! I clean out your litter box, lady.

I’m hoping this is the best year yet for all of us, and I’m really hoping this is the year humanity finally gets a brain, but it’s not bloody likely, I fear. I’d like to resolve to do a post a day, or something else positive, but some days I don’t even turn this thing on.

If you’re out there reading this, I can only advise that we all be kind to one another, and do the right thing, and stand up to those who don’t. Prejudice, greed, bigotry, homophobia, racism…none of these involve doing the right thing. We need to work on this. Differences are what make us interesting. We could celebrate those differences, instead of persecuting those who are different. Besides, from their view, we are the ones who are different. We’ve all heard variations of ‘Treat others the way you want to be treated’. Why is that so hard to do, people? Make it a good year, a kind year, a tolerant and accepting year, and most of all, a happy year, for yourselves and everyone around you. Happy New Year, everyone.

This:

The final fortress, with the exception of South Carolina, is the Deep South. That is where the last legal battles are likely to be fought, and it is precisely the sort of place that gay-marriage opponents say shouldn’t be rushed by the courts, because it’s “not ready.”

Is from here:

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2015/01/05/southern-honeymoon?utm_source=digg&utm_medium=email

I couldn’t help thinking that since they don’t seem ‘ready’ to give up racism, hatred and bigotry, it’s not surprising. Since when do we have to be ‘ready’ to do what is right and allow others the same freedoms, rights and considerations we hold? What a ridiculous argument. ‘Not ready’. Disgusting people disgust me.

Hoping everyone has lovely day.

I am having an amazing day. I have actually moved (small) furniture, among other things. ????? It’s mostly true that I cannot do things most of the time, but sometimes I think I just don’t care enough to push myself when I’m not having a really good day. Those days when I maybe could, but eh! Who cares? you know. Just need a reason to push myself to do things and I usually don’t. Someone was coming today, and I didn’t want it to be the cluttered mess it was, so I did stuff to at least make it look more like someone lives here who cares. If you know what I mean.

We are getting mostly rain, but found this on Tumblr, and it made me laugh. Laughing is always a good thing.

See: lego-note

Went to dermatologist, don’t have skin cancer after all. Yay. Nurse Practitioner was mistaken, I am happy to say.

I am very, very troubled by the Grand Jury decision in Ferguson. I listened to the statement last night, and I was struck by the fact that twelve shots were fired into a boy who had stolen cigarillos. Some of those were fired while he was bent over and far away from the shooter. This isn’t worth further examination? Is this not excessive force? I think if Michael Brown was white, things would have gone very differently. This is America, after all, where we only pretend to not be racist.

The other thing that really bothers me is Google. I love Google. I use a lot of their products. I have, use, and love their Nexus 7. But they seem to have abandoned their motto of ‘Do No Evil’. I just read yesterday that they have had a game on Google Play for some time that allows the player to kill naked gay men who are ‘attacking’ the player. Seriously, Google? If that’s not evil, tell me what is? This is appalling.

Then there’s the immigration thing. The reaction disturbs me, but is not really unexpected. What can you do? Not much, apparently, about any of it. Too bad.

On a better note, it’s going to snow tomorrow. I like snow. And rain. Not like Buffalo, but reasonable amounts of either. I kept thinking, upon seeing the pictures from Buffalo, ‘aren’t those roofs going to collapse?’, and some did. Dig out your car first? NO! Clean off your roof, people. Use your brains. It was pretty, though.

Update: From the National Bar Association re Ferguson Grand Jury decision:

NBR/Ferguson

Brain fog so bad I not only didn’t put the grocery check in the purse for my homemaker, I forgot to write the check in the first place.  Luckily she had enough cash to pay for the groceries.  She was going to the drugstore as well, hence the cash.  My friend Tess and I went to the drugstore this afternoon instead.  LOL  Lovely, cold and breezy day.  Good to get out.  Am having the worst allergy day in ages and ages.  Going out didn’t help.  Allergy season is forever, it seems.  Thank you climate change. 

Edit: Stupid video didn’t work, so I removed it. Sorry about that.