It’s not going well. I admit it. I am better in that I don’t feel horribly muzzy and sleepy and miserable all the time, but the pain is relentless. I went to the doctor last week to discuss the need for prednisone, with which she agreed, told me how much to take for how long before decreasing again, and then failed to send in the scrip. So I won’t be getting it til tomorrow, which is my last pill from the leftovers from last time I was on it.
I have made the mistake in the past of saying that I am not coping well. What I mean is I am not managing well. Cooking, tidying up, every little thing that makes up daily life just does not happen. Dealing with paperwork, clearing off surfaces where I have just put stuff for the time-being, none of this happens either. Everything is made monumental and overwhelming by pain. I have been eating peanut butter crackers and power bars this week. I’m sure bad nutrition doesn’t help. Pain meds don’t work anymore, but instead of giving me something that works, they want me to take prilosec so the ones I am taking that aren’t working won’t eat holes in my stomach. Modern medicine is so helpful.
I am discouraged, to say the least, and not up for blogging much at all. ‘If you can’t say something good, don’t say anything at all.’ That’s Thumper, I believe. I love Bambi. Not the sad part, but the rest. Oh, I wish there was someone else to help. Being alone has its’ good points, but it can also be extremely difficult when you are ill. No one to make a cup of tea, or bring your meds when you’ve left them way over there and it hurts too much to get up and retrieve them. Or get the water to take them with. This is the official February whine post. Done for the month, I hope, but don’t expect to see much posting. Not that any one cares. Not that anyone reads or comments or whatever. Why am I doing this crap anyway? IDEK anymore. See? Illness just makes everything suck, even when it doesn’t. It has gotten extremely difficult to have a positive attitude lately, so it’s better to just withdraw and not do it, right? Oh, I probably shouldn’t post this, but I don’t even care anymore. However, I will get better. I always do. Mentally, if not physically.
On the bright side…WINTER. Blizzards, snowstorms, freezing cold. I love it! I hate hot and sticky, so winter is a good thing, and we haven’t had a decent one for a few years. Until now. Hooray!!!