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I know I haven’t posted in a while. Just haven’t had anything to say, really. I had some good days interspersed over a week, then a lot more pain mixed with a few less pain days, and in general I’ve been kind of in a funk. It’s spring, and life is passing me by. Of course, life is always passing me by, but it’s spring. I want to participate.

Had some laptop issues, yet again, and I could not fix them. Nothing I tried worked. So I moved everything to Dropbox and did a restore to factory settings, which is pretty neat. I didn’t even know you could do that, but I was looking around for solutions and came across it. Apparently, Dell has a partiton with the original settings and you just follow the directions and Damn, there it is, good as new. I love this stuff. Of course there were 73 Windows updates, but it didn’t take THAT long. LOL So now I am slowly adding back my stuff: Amazon Kindle, Winamp, VLC, and putting back my pictures and things from Dropbox. Playing on the computer is about the only thing I do that doesn’t hurt or wear me out.

I think the trees across the street are going to open their blooms tomorrow or the next day. My favorite part of spring.

>this is good, you should watch it:

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I admit, the picture is pretty cool. It split right along the yellow line. What????

But I just watched the Nova about the quake. Seeing pictures like this one, watching the clips on YouTube, were one thing. But seeing an hour of devastation…it’s just horrific, and very frightening.It is unimaginable what the Japanese people have gone, and are still going through. There are thousands of people with no food or water.

I live on an earthquake fault here in New England, and have experienced more than one mild one in two different places I’ve lived. If one plate shifts, will another, and then another? If Yellowstone erupts from plate movement, then what? When you really let yourself think it through, it is quite terrifying. But nothing anyone can do except be as prepared as is possible.

I put this in the folder called “Things Not To Ponder Too Much Or You’ll Give Yourself Nightmares”. It’s pretty big folder.

On the illness front, I’ve had quite a lot of good days where I got a lot done, interspersed with quite a lot of pain days where I did nothing. And so it goes. I forget her name, but you know who used to say that. Don’t you?

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Just read an article in the local rag about a high school teacher who was told to resign or be fired after she posted a picture on Facebook showing her holding a glass of wine and a mug of beer; another who unflatteringly described some students and teachers; and a college professor who vented about work and was suspended. The part that puzzles me is this: If those weirdos from down south can demonstrate at funerals in the name of free speech, what can’t these teachers post their thoughts and pictures on Facebook? Free speech applies to all of us, doesn’t it? Anyone?

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>Wrote a post, hit something??? erroneously and it’s gone. But here’s a vid. No one deserves what the Japanese people are going through while I sit here in my solid apartment building being warm, well-fed, and with fresh water on demand. If you can help Japan in any way, please do so.

Here’s another:\\

>There are films of the earthquake and tsumani all over, and it’s truly sad and horrible. So much loss and devastation. Here’s how to help:

http://technolog.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/03/11/6246445-japans-earthquake-how-to-help?ocid=xnetr1-3

I thought I’d post a little humor here, because it’s a little hard to cope with such a really awful event. Laughter helps me deal with things, I hope it helps you just a bit, too. Here goes:

http://i.cdn.turner.com/tegwebapps/tbs/tbs-www/cvp/teamcoco_432x243_embed.swf?context=teamcoco_embed_offsite&videoId=246049

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On the illness front, I’ve had a very good few days, in spite of lots of leg pain. I’ve rearranged some things, sorted out some things, cleared up some things, had the maintenance guy come and fix the leak in my sink, finished the third book of the trilogy my friend John loaned me, reorganized files on my laptop, and got up at 9am four days in a row. Four. Days. In. A. Row. I am so tired it isn’t funny, cause I’ve been getting no more than three or four hours sleep each night. Getting up at nine doesn’t mean I can get to sleep any earlier. Is that fair, I ask you? No. No it isn’t. But it’s been a great few days anyway. I’m happy.

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I am having another good day. Yay, me. Not too much pain, energy, mental energy, it’s all good. Also, it’s in the 60’s today. Spring is springing, the grass is rizing, soon there will be flowers. Spring. Trying to get things done a little at a time. The best part of fuzzy brain is that you don’t care about things getting done. The worst part of not having fuzzy brain is when you do care, but pain keeps you from getting them done. So today is all-around good. No fuzzies, little pain. Hooray.

I am still trying to figure out the bed thing. Maybe I should just chuck it all and buy a new mattress. Yes, money is growing on those trees right across the street, folks. Of course it is. But it’s okay. As my friend Tess always says, I WILL get if figured out. She has a lot of faith in me, it seems. LOL

Windows are open, hearing outside sounds. Not too much traffic, so it’s just pleasant. It always takes time to adjust to having the windows open after a long winter. Usually the traffic is more, people have their car radios blasting, the fire station down the street is busy sending out trucks here and there. Noise, noise, noise. By the time winter rolls around again, I barely notice it. Except when I’m on the phone and have to wait for the sirens to get far enough away that I can hear the person I’m talking to.

I am happy today. I heard from my friend in Finland after a few weeks of silence, I feel good, I am getting things done. It’s a good day. Oh, except my sink has a major leak and I cannot run water or it just comes out underneath. It started when I used the dishwasher, and only then, but before I called about that, the whole thing just went haywire. Calling tomorrow. Wish they’d give me a new frig, too, and a new carpet, or even better, a wood floor. I don’t like carpeting. No. I don’t. Off to do something or other. It’s SPRING!!!!

EDIT to add this, cause it’s just cute:

http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/video/xhe8zq?theme=none

>I had a good day today. Balanced my checkbook, sorted through paperwork, filed, did some cleaning (minor, very minor), and found this video. It’s so darn cute, even if it is a commercial.

>http://wbads.vo.llnwd.net/o25/u/telepixtv/ellen/us/video/player/embed.swf

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Saw doctor yesterday for the followup. Blood pressure down considerably, gave more blood to check thyroid levels, discussed leg pain and what to do about it. Getting a stronger pain med. Yay. He thinks the pain in my lower leg and foot is unrelated to the knee arthritis, but instead is caused by the sciatic nerve. Can do more in depth tests, but I’m not up for that right now. Also will see orthopedic surgeon down the line for knee evaluation.

I told him that for ten years I’ve been telling my doctors that there is something with my thyroid, and he is the first one who did not continually dismiss me. As a result of him listening, I am now noticeably, demonstrably better. My brain works. I have mental energy and a bit of physical energy. He was a little taken aback that I specifically thanked him for listening and acting on my concerns. He high-fived me, which was kind of cute. I guess I’ll keep him. LOL

Feeling crappy today, but unrelated to illness. And my brain works. I am not a lethargic blob on the couch anymore. I am happy.

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After falling back asleep yesterday and sleeping all afternoon, I am having a good day again, except for pain. Today it’s my back. At least there is variety, right? LOL

You can tell spring is about to spring. Bright, bright sunny day. Cold, still, but sunshine makes up for it. Trying to organize self for homemaker. It’s Tuesday.

>But this guy sure is. I really hope the idiots who voted in the Rebublicans are happy with what they’ve done….NOT!

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I’ve been taking the thyroid med for several weeks now. I am not foggy at all, ever. Clear mind. I have mental energy, and even a bit of physical energy. I’m still in a lot of pain, but it’s more the leg thing than fibro pain.

Just to make sure I’m not imagining this, I resolved to take a week off from the meds. By the sixth day, brain-fog, lethargy, feeling awful, were all back. Very interesting.

I know I have fibro. When I was diagnosed, all 18 points were extremely painful. I wonder, however, if any doctor had listened to me about the thyroid thing, if I wouldn’t have been better able to cope all these years. This doctor is the first who ever paid attention, and gave me the choice to try the meds or not. He’s the first who ever specifically said I have mild hypothyroidism, although I’ve been getting the same test results for years.

I guess it pays to find the right doctor. This one I found by default. All four of the other doctors I’ve had since I moved here have left their practices and moved on to other places and/or jobs. One left to stay home as she was pregnant and already had a disabled child. Anyway, this last one was the only one taking new patients AND my insurance at the same time.

Just luck that I finally found one who listened. He’s not perfect, and Doctor Welby was only a figment of someone’s imagination, but I am better, thanks to him. Actually, tangibly, demonstrably better. Is demonstrably an actual word? Do I care? LOL

So I have decided to stop focusing on all the things that are going wrong in my country, and just focus on being better and enjoying my life.

Part of me wants to be angry, and protest, and sign petitions, and at least try to contribute in some way to get us back on a sane track here, but I’m only one sick and aging woman, and the fight is going to have to get along without me. I doubt anyone will notice. LOL

It’s like recycling. I try to be a responsible person. Recycling, disposing of things properly, trying to keep my electricity usage down. Being a good citizen. But now I’m ill, and pretty much isolated and unable to get around freely. So I have a basket of ten years worth of used batteries, cause you don’t throw batteries in the trash, they need proper disposal. I don’t recycle, cause there’s no facility for it where I live, and no way to get to a recycling station.

For years, I felt guilty over this. I know people who don’t give a fig for social responsibility. Who wouldn’t recycle if someone came and did it for them, cause they just don’t care enough. I’m not going to feel guilty for any of it anymore. I do what I can. That’s all I can do, and I can’t blame myself for the rest. When I could, I did. That’s all I can ask of myself, right?

So let go of the anger, let go of the guild, let go of the self-bashing. I didn’t choose illness, it was foisted upon me by the fates, or the universe, or some sort of infection I didn’t know I had, or whatever. Doesn’t matter. I’m ill, that’s it, and I just want to have the best life I can within those confines. If someone figures this out someday and finds what to do about it, I will be overjoyed. But until then, I’m just doing the best I can, every day.

Examples of my life, anyone? Let’s see. I have neatly folded laundry in the bedroom that’s been sitting there for three weeks, because I didn’t have the energy or enough pain-manageable time to put it away. I forgot I was putting water in the sink one day, and the sink ran over and I had a minor flood in the kitchen, followed by wet towels in the tub til my homemaker came and did laundry. My dishwasher developed a leak in a connection under the sink and everything got soaked. So I had to remove everything, toss some stuff, which is sitting waiting for my homemaker to come on Tuesday and take the trash out and the rest of the stuff is all over the kitchen floor drying out and being in my way. I have a very, very small kitchen so this is not a good thing. There are ‘items’ all over the table than I need to deal with. Vitamins to be taken, a few things that need to be put where they belong. I did manage to sort out the paper that was on there. Same with the bedroom dresser. Things need to go where they belong instead of just put there because I cannot manage more than that. I have food in the frig that never gets eaten because I can’t manage to prepare it and rely on cereal and frozen dinners.

I guess what I’m saying is that I am not coping well in spite of being better. It’s all down to the pain. Pain makes every movement difficult, every action fatiguing, and just wears you down in general. Trying to cope with pain is a full-time job.

Okay, I think I’ve worn my brain out. Not sure I’ve ever done this long a post, but my brain is working and I had things to say. Yay, me. And spring is coming, people. Woo hoo.

>Seriously.

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The comments have some excellent points as well. I especially like and agree with ‘You wouldn’t go to a doctor….”. and “As a man who grew up in a…”

I hope you read this and learn something from it.

http://www.afterelton.com/pigeonguts/02-16-2011

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I saved this a while back and just got around to reading it. I thought it was interesting, and another look at the secret world of government. Not in a scary way. Much, anyway. LOL Ironically, I think, a friend and I were discussing his paintings the other day. I could dip Gertrude’s paw in paint and get the same results Pollock did. y/n? Srsly, folks. Here’s the article:

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/modern-art-was-cia-weapon-1578808.html

>I just found it on The Daily What:

http://c.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f9?isVid=1&isUI=1

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I added a few sites, in case you’re interested. Mostly ‘of the day’s. I am having a good day for a change. Slept well, up at 9am. Yay, me. Today I am going to work in the kitchen. It is just too small and set up so that everything is inconvenient. I am going to try to fix that, but am not holding my breath it will work. It wasn’t designed for small appliances, like microwave, toaster oven, mixer, etc. There’s really not enough counter space for them, but they have to go somewhere.

I don’t use the mixer a lot, but it’s heavy, and hauling it around not fun, so it’s best on the counter. I use the microwave and toaster oven a lot. Why use the oven if I can cook something in the toaster oven? Besides, it makes great toast.

Of course, the longer I sit here, the less I’m getting done.

One more thing: I learned this from the internet.

The US has three million people in jail. No society in history has imprisoned more of its population. This is apparently due to the “three strikes and you’re out” policy. This says that after two crimes, your third one, regardless of its severity, gives you life in prison. Two examples: One man is serving two twenty-five year terms for stealing nine videos. Another is serving twenty-six years for stealing four chocolate chip cookies. This sounds unbelievable, and I don’t swear to it’s accuracy. One in 30 males between 20 and 34 years old are in prison. One in NINE black males of the same age are in prison. More young black men are in jail than in college. Prisoners are forced to work for 25 cents an hour or be put into solitary confinement. More than one in 100 Americans are in prison. That’s more than ten percent. A higher percentage than any other country in the world. Think what you will about this, people. I know what I think, and it’s not “Oh, boy, we must have a really good system of justice here.”