Had a couple of not-great days, building up to a massive laying on the couch moaning and groaning crappy pain day yesterday, where I mostly tried to sleep through it. Much better today. Trying to get things done, but much slower than last week. Still a lot of pain going on. I only cut the Prednisone back 1/2 mg, not a whole mg like doctor wanted me to. Stupid doctors. Let them live with this shit.

Anyway, I was looking at something I needed to do something with, and it occurred to me that I buy things, and do things, that I don’t consciously realize I am buying/doing in order to recreate a time when I didn’t feel hopeless. When I hadn’t lost hope. But I have, and things especially are not going to fix that. I find myself thinking so what if I don’t learn a language, or download and try out the latest computer thingy, or any number of things, because it just doesn’t matter any more. So I’m thinking about this, and I realize that I have never recovered from being really ill for months on end a couple of years ago. That ‘can’t do it, it doesn’t matter anyway’ mind set has taken hold and is affecting every aspect of my life. I have my days, where I am pretty much ‘me’ but mainly not. I need to think on this, and see if I can figure out how to change my inner voice. I like me better when I’m ‘me’. Just so you know. I have a lot of days like this:

Didn’t realize it was such a…is there a word? Anyway, it looked pale blue and brown or dark gold to me, no matter where I viewed it. I thought it was interesting, because science. How we perceive things is not always how someone else perceives it.

Here’s a nice article about Leonard Nimoy, who died today. Spock was my favorite character in Star Trek.

RIP Leonard Nimoy

and a good yesterday, as well. I have completely redone almost all of the kitchen. It’s been years since I was able to do that much work. I love you Prednisone, at least until the crap side-effects start happening.

I have some potentially good news. I think my refrigerator is dying. It was old when I moved in fifteen years ago, and I am so hoping for a new one. Will save on the electric bill, too. Appliances are much more efficient now.

Here’s the latest ‘all over the web’ thing. What color is this dress?

I’ll post what I think tomorrow. Unless I forget. 🙂

From Nantucket, it’s called ‘Slushy Wave, from here: Slushy Wave

Yes, it is snowing again. We have already broken the records for coldest and snowiest February in my area, and still it comes. It’s very fine and light and pretty coming down. The weather station pictured is several miles south of me. We have broken the records, they haven’t…yet. There are still two and a half more days in February.

Mild English question: I first wrote ‘There’s still two…”, but that is grammatically incorrect. So how do you write ‘There are’ with a contraction? Should I know this and forgot?

I am on the third day of a massive allergy attack. Sneezing, sneezing, sneezing. I even took two different antihistamines (after googling for safety) at the same time, to no avail. I even even opened the windows for an hour or so yesterday, it was in the low thirties so didn’t freeze. No help with the sneezing. Shower didn’t help, either.

Except for the sneezing, I think I am pretty much recovered from my really good, super, and excellent day on Monday. Cleaning out the stove drawer. In stages. Everything has to be done in stages, because pain. Have to sit down frequently. Pain is exhausting, too, so need frequent rest breaks. I could have done this in ten minutes once upon a time. Everything that might once have taken an hour, now takes ten or more. Getting things done is not easy with pain.

I’ve read recently that Duck Tales and Inspector Gadget are being ‘rebooted’. I loved both of these shows. Inspector Gadget, you may know, was based on ‘Get Smart’, which was hilarious in its first run, but seems so dated and stupid now as to be almost unwatchable. Sorry about that.

Hope you are all having a lovely, lovely day, night, whatever it is where you are.

Here’s an article about another Republican demonstrating his ignorance. It occurs to me, shouldn’t it be less of a requirement to be freaking rich, and more of a requirement to have an actual working brain in order to run for office? Shouldn’t there be a test, like you might get in sixth grade at least, to measure the intelligence of those people we are voting for? How do these people get elected? What does that say about the intelligence level of those who elect them? It does not bode well for the good ole US of A, people. No. It does not.

vito-barbieri-camera-female-gynecological-exam

Update: Here’s a funny take on the same subject:

republicans-unlearning-facts

Looking at local newspapers website, we have broken the records for coldest and snowiest February, and it not over yet.  Better than breaking the hot and sticky records.  Not looking forward to that.  I think it’s snowing again right now, too.

From here: Brazilian Dietary Guidlines

/ “Always prefer natural or minimally-processed foods and freshly-made dishes and meals to ultra-processed foods. In other words, opt for water, milk and fruits instead of soft drinks, dairy drinks and biscuits, do not replace freshly prepared dishes (broth, soups, salads, sauces, rice and beans, pasta, steamed vegetables, pies) with products that do not require culinary preparation (packaged soups, instant noodles, pre-prepared frozen dishes, sandwiches, cold cuts and sausages, industrialized sauces, ready-mixes for cakes), and stick to homemade desserts, avoiding industrialized ones.”

Boiling this down even further, rather than concern yourself with the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s most recent set of dietary recommendations, if you ignore everything and simply focus on transforming fresh whole ingredients into meals; eating those meals at a table free from distractions; drinking alcohol at most in moderation; not smoking; getting a good night sleep; and cultivating healthy friendships and relationships, this will serve you better than getting 10 percent less or more of this, that or the other into your daily dietary life./

I have gotten a ton of ‘This is probably only noticeable to me’ stuff done so far today. Cleared out under the kitchen sink and put down shelf paper, a couple of days ago I took everything out of the unsatisfactory dresser drawers and put my shirts on the shelves, and today I put the bedding in that same dresser and put some of the stuff from under the kitchen sink on that bathroom shelf instead. Much more accessible tools, and much easier to get at undersink stuff in kitchen. Cleared out some more paper work, and my cubbies by the desk. Little things, but very satisfying and will make my life easier when this good bit turns back into crap. Cause you know it will. But today is a bright, if overcast, day, and that helps a lot. Gray is energy-sapping, I’ve found.

I want to clear out the stove drawer, but not sure if I’m up for it. We’ll see. I have to sit and rock and read, or mess about on here in between every little thing I do that involves moving, but Getting Things Done. Lots of energy. I would be a superstar if not for pain getting in the way.

My homemaker mentioned that she wished they could just fix the prednisone problems so I could stay on it, because there is such a difference in me when I am…on it, that is. Yep, I’d like that too, but meanwhile, I am just enjoying having the energy and brain power to GET THINGS DONE!!!!

You know how food blog writers seem to get sent tons of free things? Hey, here’s a recipe I’ve been making for years. Tweaked and tweaked til I got it just the way I like it.

Meat Pie
Brown a pound of ground meat. I use Shady Brook Farms ground turkey. Drain if necessary. Top with a can of cream corn or other veg (drained) of your choice. Top that with about a cup of grated sharp cheddar. Mix 1/2 c Bisquick, 2 eggs, I cup milk, and pour over. Bake at 350 for about 30 minutes.

I cook the turkey in the iron skillet and just use it to bake in, otherwise use a greased 8×8 pan. I also use a jar of Heinz Roasted Turkey Gravy in place of the milk. There. Send the free stuff, I’ll be watching for it. Oh, don’t drain the creamed corn, that’s just wrong. You can use frozen veg in place of canned, too. Maybe run under cold water to thaw a bit.

No, I’m not doing a food blog. I just like free stuff.

THIS cheered me up no end.

I wonder if anyone will ever buy Lenovo again after this.

Lenovo PreInstalls Unsafe Adware

I read this: Why Robins Sing At Night, and I just wanted to comment that if it interferes with profits, no one will give a damn. Then I realized that I am getting more and more cynical and angry and frustrated with humanity, and I know this is not a good thing. I need to stop reading stuff, maybe.

I’ve scrolling Tumblr and find myself looking at this picture:

Look at the petals. As I looked, I was thinking, ‘Man, I love this stuff’, when it suddenly dawned on me that I will soon be 71 years old and I am running out of time to enjoy the things I love, so I damn well better get busy and spend more time enjoying them. So I will.

Sign the petition here:

https://www.battleforthenet.com/

From one of my favorite persons. He’s kind of bizarre sometimes, but he knows how to enjoy life. It’s a good thing.

“Honestly, the world can be a dark enough place. Light it up.”
→ John Barrowman

We have had snow. Serious snow. Three Mondays in a row now, I think. I like snow. I don’t have to shovel or dig out my car or any of that, so I can just enjoy it. Sorry, those of you who have to do those things.

Feeling better. Got over feeling sorry for myself, I guess. It’s amazing how much just putting stuff out there helps. I slide towards the black hole now and then, pain is hard to live with, but I still seem able to pull myself back out after a bit. Actually, it’s the being alone and living with pain that is hardest. I do well on my own, but sometimes I just wish there was someone here to care, and to help. You play the hand you’re dealt, and this is mine, so I do my best to cope most of the time. I am alive, I am basically a happy person, I have food, and warmth, and a roof over my head. A lot of people don’t, so gratitude is something to keep in mind. That’s it for today.

It’s not going well. I admit it. I am better in that I don’t feel horribly muzzy and sleepy and miserable all the time, but the pain is relentless. I went to the doctor last week to discuss the need for prednisone, with which she agreed, told me how much to take for how long before decreasing again, and then failed to send in the scrip. So I won’t be getting it til tomorrow, which is my last pill from the leftovers from last time I was on it.

I have made the mistake in the past of saying that I am not coping well. What I mean is I am not managing well. Cooking, tidying up, every little thing that makes up daily life just does not happen. Dealing with paperwork, clearing off surfaces where I have just put stuff for the time-being, none of this happens either. Everything is made monumental and overwhelming by pain. I have been eating peanut butter crackers and power bars this week. I’m sure bad nutrition doesn’t help. Pain meds don’t work anymore, but instead of giving me something that works, they want me to take prilosec so the ones I am taking that aren’t working won’t eat holes in my stomach. Modern medicine is so helpful.

I am discouraged, to say the least, and not up for blogging much at all. ‘If you can’t say something good, don’t say anything at all.’ That’s Thumper, I believe. I love Bambi. Not the sad part, but the rest. Oh, I wish there was someone else to help. Being alone has its’ good points, but it can also be extremely difficult when you are ill. No one to make a cup of tea, or bring your meds when you’ve left them way over there and it hurts too much to get up and retrieve them. Or get the water to take them with. This is the official February whine post. Done for the month, I hope, but don’t expect to see much posting. Not that any one cares. Not that anyone reads or comments or whatever. Why am I doing this crap anyway? IDEK anymore. See? Illness just makes everything suck, even when it doesn’t. It has gotten extremely difficult to have a positive attitude lately, so it’s better to just withdraw and not do it, right? Oh, I probably shouldn’t post this, but I don’t even care anymore. However, I will get better. I always do. Mentally, if not physically.

On the bright side…WINTER. Blizzards, snowstorms, freezing cold. I love it! I hate hot and sticky, so winter is a good thing, and we haven’t had a decent one for a few years. Until now. Hooray!!!

“Just because one person’s problem is less traumatic than another’s doesn’t mean they’re required to hurt less”

― J.A. Redmerski, The Edge of Never

Could this be us?

We are gearing up for the apocalypse, is you listen to any news program anywhere. It is going to snow. Snow happens. It is winter, don’t you know? Good grief, you’d think nothing this bad has ever happened in the history of history. OR reason ten billion why watching the news is a really, really bad idea.

I am better. Not great, I will never be great again, healthwise, but much better than I have been. So have to see the doctor before he will represcribe the medicine that actually works, instead of the zillions I’ve had before that didn’t. Yes, I am grouchy. But better. Getting things done here and there. Small things, but still…. Yay, me.

Or not. It’s not, actually. Been going well, that is. After becoming just a mass of pain and virtually non-functioning, I have gone back on the Prednisone. Started Sunday, and am actually somewhat better. Less pain, more function, not sleeping most of the time. It keeps getting harder, though. Harder to cope, harder to manage, harder to just be alone all the time. Sometimes it just seems as if there is no point to anything. I’d really like to be somewhere there was someone who cared about me, but that place does not exist. Oh, well.