>I was able to get out with a friend and do a bit of shopping and browsing, had a coolatta and played Big Kahuna on here. I can tell I will not be able to do more than hobble once I have been still for awhile, but having fun is so worth it. Pain and fatigue as a result of doing something fun is so much easier to deal with than pain and fatigue that just happen for no known reason. I know what I’ve done to cause the former, and was willing to make the trade-off. It makes a difference. It is very cool and spit rain off and on, and the air is really, really damp.

We went to Walmart, which is in the process of building more in order to become a super Walmart with groceries and all. It was awful. Why would you choose to walk what seems like miles from one end of a store to the other just to find the few things you might need. It is stale recirculated air, too. Very unpleasant to be in. I am not one who thinks bigger is necessarily better, or that one-stop shopping is a good thing. Friend and I agreed that we will go only when we have something specific to get. No more browsing for the fun of it. Huge, cavernous stores are not really all that appealing.

>
Got up at 8. Yay, me. Showered, ate, got dressed and read email. Friend called and we went shopping then back to her house to play a game on her pc. She was stuck on a level, and things go better when two of you are figuring things out. I took three extra-strength excedrin, but was still having problems walking, and by the time I was ready to come home, I could barely walk. The couch and I had a session, but moving was still very painful when I got up. I have been having dramatically more pain in the past week or so, since the weather changed. I like to think that my body may be miserable and in pain and fatigued, but I am fine. I choose to not be sad or morose or negative just because I am ill.

On another note, I made a lovely salad yesterday from this link:

http://closetcooking.blogspot.com/2008/06/mango-caprese-salad.html

It was very tasty and refreshing. Caprese is normally made with ripe tomatoes, but the mango was very nice. Oh, and today we lunched at Azteca, a hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant in Attleboro. It is a home-cooking type restaurant, not an “oh, aren’t we a snazzy Mexican restaurant here in New England” type of restaurant, and the food is very good. I had chili rellenos, beans, guacamole salad, and a chicken taco. Lovely.

The tomatoes aren’t looking good so far this year. All the rain has slowed fruit growth in favor of leaf growth, and there is a new disease that is affecting the crops. It is said to be the same that caused the Irish Potato Famine, and is highly contagious. My friend’s plants are very tall, but just starting to fruit, and they are checking regularly for signs of the blight. One person’s great summer weather is another person’s tomato problems. But I am liking the not too sticky too often weather we’ve had.

Does anybody watch Torchwood on BBC America? I don’t actually get BBC America any more, since I downgraded my cable, but they are showing Torchwood On Demand. Lucky me. I like a good sci-fi show, and although this started out a bit hokey, more like the older Doctor Who shows, it has gotten really very good.

Well, the good day is nearly over, I am off to bed shortly.

>

Previously posted by me in a group I belong to, but I hope helpful to anyone with chronic illness who reads this blog. 

I have a homemaker also.  I made a list of everything I want her to
do.  In order.  I get the laundry into the basket, get the coins, pour
the soap into the jar (I measure out the soap cause they’re
front-loaders and we don’t want suds all over the first floor, now do
we?  ).  I
empty the wastebaskets into the trash bag in the kitchen.  I pick up
the cat toys from the floor.  The rest is up to her.  Here’s my list:

Start laundry.
Vacuum kitchen and bathroom with small vac.  Empty vac into trash. 
Clean bathroom.
Mop bathroom and kitchen.
Vacuum rugs with big vac.  Empty vac into trash.
Do any small miscellaneous jobs I need done.
Deal with laundry–into
dryer or bring up if I’m hanging it to dry.
Grocery shopping and pick up meds if necessary.
Go to post office if necessary.
Get laundry from dryer and fold it.
Trash out.  Goodbye. 

I don’t put the ‘goodbye’ on the list.   

Your
needs may be very different, but I’ve found having a list really
helps.  I prefer she doesn’t have to ask me what to do next, because if
I’m really tired I tend to say, “Nothing.  Just go home now.”  If I’m
having brain-fog, I can’t think what needs to be done so I tend to say
“Nothing.  Just go home now.” 
Having a list takes the pressure off.  Another thing is that since
homemakers change so often, having a list means they can start off
right from the get-go.  Every time I get one I really like AND who does
a good job, she leaves for a better job or to stay home with her kids
or……….  I am not really that comfortable with having new people
come in, so that’s another way the list helps.  I don’t have to
interact that much until I get used to them. 

>Today is the first day of all-digital tv, so I hooked up my little eight dollar antenna I bought a while back, and low and behold, I can get seventeen channels, including the ones I watch most. I plan to leave it hooked up for a bit and if I don’t miss anything, I am so dropping cable. It irks me to have to give them so much money when there’s so little to watch. Our local On-Demand has ‘F’ or even sometime ‘z’ movies. Forget ‘b’ movies, there are only a few of them. I’ll also dump the phone service, which I never really liked. If the power is out, or the modem goes off for some reason, there is no phone service. I have my cell, but a landline is still a good thing to have. So that’s my digital rant for today.

I admit to feeling a bit depressed lately. I’ve been in more than out, which is never a good thing, but also, I am struggling with wanting to do things for myself and not being sure if I can’t because I’m ill, or I’m just old. I used to ride the bus, but haven’t in a few years. Could I still manage it with some groceries or other shopping? Would the legs be too painful and give out from the fatigue, or would I build more strength by doing? When I first got sick, I had recently moved to a third-floor apartment. I remember thinking that my legs would get so strong from going up and down stairs, but instead, I was able to do less and less. I stopped buying heavy groceries like juice and milk because it was just too tiring to carry them up the stairs. I stopped doing my laundry at work because lugging it up and down stairs was too much for me. So now that I’m in worse shape in general, and also a good ten years older, what does that mean for me? Could I manage without my homemaker. Could I get around without my wonderful friend Tess who drives me everywhere? I don’t know, and it has been worrying me. Really, you have to have something to worry about, right? It’s the nature of the human being to worry, apparently. Oh, well. I’ll feel better about it all tomorrow. I hope.

>Not feeling great today, so canceled Medicare thingy for the second time. Missed out on Coolatta and then lunch with Tess, too. Rats. But that’s the nature of being ill. Things change by the second, and sometimes I just can’t do what I need/want to do. So I read all my stuff, blogs and sites that I like, and am listening to some nice music, too. Finally something on tv tonight that will be watchable—Burn Notice and Royal Pains, which wasn’t bad at all. I thought it would be, but I actually enjoyed the first ep. I’m glad I’m not into the reality drek, but it would be something to watch. Just can’t bring myself to do it, though. Tv gets worse by the month, let alone by the season.

>Was up late, but woke up at eight again. Up, showered, coffeed, sitting here. I need to eat something. It’s another wet gray day, which is infinitely better than hot and sticky. As I backed up this blog, I read the posts and it seemed like a lot of moaning and groaning, but then I remembered. It’s a blog about living with fibro/chronic fatigue, and I describe how I feel and what I do. So it’s not moaning and groaning, it’s imparting information. LOL Still no A/C guy, so I am giving up and putting stuff back in the closet. It’s been ten days. Slept in the bedroom last night, and slept well. I like that I have choices now. I can sleep on the couch or the futon, depending on my mood. Gertrude still sits on the crossword book, no matter where I sleep. She is a funny kitty. I ordered some herbs very late last night. Staying up late seems to kick in my shopping gene. Not a good thing. That’s when I bouoght the couch and the futon. Late at night. Oh, I’m tired, it seems. Better eat before I find myself back in bed.

>I was so tired today. Got up at eight as usual (yay, me) showered, ate, coffeed, etc. Sat here for awhile zoning out and finally lay down on the couch thinking to watch tv. Slept all afternoon. So here I am up late. I am backing up this blog to Evernote, since I lost my other backup on Scrapbook. Reading as I go, I see that 2007 was a really tough year. I am so much better now, even though I am having a lot of pain and fatigue and problems with walking. My mood is better, my house is better. I love my new couch. I have done a lot of organizing and decluttering and things are getting in order finally. I had forgotten how hard that year had been. I’m glad it’s now, now. *smile*

>Well, I have gotten a lot done in the apartment. The living room is set up the way I like. Only one thing left to do, and I’m not sure when/if I’m going to do it. It’s putting together the computer table thingy I bought forever ago which is in it’s unopened box in the closet. If I ever get to it, I plan to put the desk in the bedroom. The desk is really too small and too high to be a good place for the desktop pc. The bedroom still needs some decluttering, but is so much nicer without the bed in it. I still need to put some more cushioning on the futon before it’s sleep on worthy, but meanwhile, the couch is very comfy.

On the other hand, I’ve been very tired lately, and having a lot of pain. My legs especially are very painful when walking or anything. They seem to be getting stiffer, too. Like bending my knees to put my socks on is hard and hurts a lot. Not sure what to do about all this. I’m sorry to say that doctors aren’t really much help with the day-to-day living issues. But I’m in good spirits and enjoying my new couch and neat (er) living room. It’s a beautiful day, too, so that’s always nice. Yesterday it was very cold. I almost put the heat on, but used my little heater fan instead.

>It’s pouring rain. I do love rain. All the blossoms are gone from the flowering pears across the street. They were lovely for a bit more than a week, and now it’s all green. I guess that means it’s almost summer. I was very tired and achy every day since my last post, and didn’t do much of anything. Feeling better today, but a little achy still. I think I’m going to get the futon put together this weekend, but meanwhile, I have been liking sleeping on the new couch. It’s very comfortable. I tried the futon mattress again, with some big pillows under it to cushion, but it still wasn’t very comfortable. I also ordered two wrought iron bookcases, which are cheaper than wood and hold more books. Finally going to get rid of the last of those awful plastic ones. They are just a wee bit warped after twenty some years of holding books. I’d already gotten rid of most of them, but needed someplace to keep my books. Looking forward to tossing them. I feel very rambling-ish, so that’s all for now.

>I must have been tired, cause I slept til 1pm from about midnight. My cell alarm for lunch woke me up. LOL I am tired, and achy and foggy, but I have a goal, which is get ready for new couch, the one scheduled to come on Monday. So I have incentive to do things in spite of how I feel. That’s a very good thing, because usually, I tend to slug when I don’t feel that great. It’s already looking better in here. I have a plan now, and can visualize how I want things to be, which part of my brain had burned out several years ago. It has sprung from the ashes, like the Phoenix. I am really excited about getting the couch. If I can just figure out how to keep Gertrude from shredding it, which except for declawing, I can’t think how. I don’t believe in declawing, so could someone maybe knit me a chain mail couch cover? It could work, right? LOL