Now it’s heading into a cold and windy night, as well. Last night a blizzard, tonight just cold but still the wind is over 20 miles an hour with higher gusts. Lovely. Of course, I don’t have to be out in it.
I am still having some pain, but in general feeling better. I think I was having a bit of Christmas depression. This year I wasn’t invited to my friends house for either holiday. Thanksgiving they were in turmoil with the new house, so that’s fine. No one is obligated to invite me to anything, anytime, but when you always do and then don’t with no call or word til Christmas Eve just to say hi and let’s get together soon, I think it kind of hurt my feelings a bit. Even though, and this is why I’m just so lame to be even a bit upset, I would have had to say no since I have been having so much pain and feeling like crap all over. I spent Christmas alone with the cat, on the couch, reading fan fiction, with a frozen dinner, Indian vegetarian. Tasty. I guess it just all got me down, the whole build up and then the day. It was really no Christmas at all for me. And I didn’t get one single Christmas cookie. What’s that about?
Usually I take things in my stride, I don’t know why this year was hard. I’ve missed out on the celebrations before due to the stupid illness, and it didn’t bother me that much. Feeling alone and lonely, maybe. I miss my husband. Sometimes life just gets hard to cope with. It’s the pain. I think that’s the problem. I’ve been in almost constant pain for a few weeks now, and it wears down your spirits as well as your energy.
So…get over myself and all will be well. I see my doctor next week and plan to have a discussion about my meds and what else can I do that doesn’t involve more pills. I’ve turned Workrave back on, so I will be reminded to get up and DO SOMETHING once an hour. That really does help motivate me. I can do something for fifteen minutes. Well, some part of fifteen minutes anyway, before the pain gets too much or I just run out of energy. Today I am cleaning the stove. One bit at a time.
And another thing. My computer has decided I now live in London. ?????? I wish, but hasn’t happened. I’m still here in good old New England.