>More ‘Why, yes. I am a liberal’ stuff

>Anne Rice??? I’m not into vampire stuff, but this quote isn’t about that:

Author Anne Rice has quit Christianity, saying “In the name of Christ, I refuse to be anti-gay. I refuse to be anti-feminist. I refuse to be anti-artificial birth control. I refuse to be anti-Democrat. I refuse to be anti-secular humanism. I refuse to be anti-science. I refuse to be anti-life. In the name of …Christ, I quit Christianity and being Christian. Amen.”

And The Daily Show. If you really need a news fix, the daily show is much better than any actual ‘news’ stations. Plus they make me laugh.

http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-july-28-2010/gay-reichs

I firmly believe that you cannot be for human rights if you don’t include gay rights in the grouping. But that’s just me.

>Holy Crap

>Who IS this ‘average American’?

http://www.visualeconomics.com/food-consumption-in-america_2010-07-12/

This just seems unbelievable to me. I personally eat probably about a pound of red meat a year, yes, a year, for one thing. No artificial sweeteners if I know about it. I avoid things with corn syrup, I seldom eat fish, I only use olive oil and real butter. Gee, what do I eat? Meusli with whole milk, those ‘healthy’ frozen dinners, Indian food that comes in boil it packets (with added couscous), pizza now and then, hummus and pita bread. I’m sure there’s more. There must be more, right? LOL

>Good Stuff

>I like psychology. I like learning how the brain works, why we do the things we do, how men process differently than women do. Here is a very interesting blog that gives some insight into the ‘why we do what we do’ issue. Check it out.

http://youarenotsosmart.com/

>Another Meme

>Type your name into the search at urbandictionary.com.

Mine resulted in this:

Fun, sympathetic, and charming. Witty, brilliant, and an excellent friend. Unless you want your friends to call you. Ever.

That’s so true. The not calling, I mean. I always just assume that if someone wants to talk to me, they’ll call me. Plus, I hate to be a bother to people who all have much busier lives than I do. On the other hand, I am witty and brilliant. And loads of fun. Yes. Yes, I am.

>It’s Hot

>Did I say it’s HOT?

I know, I’ve been quiet for awhile. It’s hot, I’ve been alone most of the time, and I get used to not communicating. Also, I’ve been alone most of the time, so there really isn’t a lot going on to blog about. Been doing okay with the illness. Still having the up all day and all night, sleep all day and all night thing off and on. Not much I can do about it. I’ve been kind of bummed, too. Being alone all the time does that, I guess.

I did manage to go through all of my music and video files and do a good clear out of duplicates and things I ask myself, “Why am I saving this?”. Backed them all up to sticks, too, as well as the usual Mozy backup. I am going to see if I can put my vids on DVD to watch on tv. I assume I can do that, but haven’t ever tried it. Research time, it seems.

Here’s an extended video of “Where in the World is Matt?”, from today’s Astronomy of the Day picture. I like this vid.

http://apod.nasa.gov/apod/

>Gareth

>
http://bluegillespie.bandcamp.com/track/gareth-david-lloyd-bio

I know, I know. Still obsessed with anything Torchwood.

>Oil then Me

>I tagged this with ‘politics’ because I don’t have a tag for ‘look what greed has done to us.’

I know it’s not actually me in the picture, it’s Ron Livingston, but it expresses how I’ve been feeling for quite some time.

>I LOVE my a/c

>It is 95 degrees Fahrenheit, with a dew point of 72. I love central air. Love it.

Bit of a debacle yesterday. I was up for a couple of days, and when I finally slept, I really slept….right through several phone calls, the door buzzer, knocking on my door, all to the concern of my poor homemaker, who has to work on holidays. All sorted, with calls to the home office (homemaker’s work place), and calls from the home office, and calls from the elder services. Good to know there are people out there who care. They even involved my friend Tess, who is my emergency contact. She thought it was funny, cause she knows I have the ‘awake a long time, sleep like a rock a long time’ thing that happens periodically.

Here’s a quote I came across:

All that happens is that the destruction of human beings (unless they’re Americans) is called collateral damage. Harold Pinter

It kind of makes me sad how poorly the rest of the world thinks of us, but we do deserve it sometimes. I’ve always voted for the people I thought shared my ideals and would make good leaders, but they haven’t always won. The majority of Americans seem to have gone off the rails since 9/11, and lost their ability to think for themselves and have become reliant of anyone who makes them feel safe and right. Right in their ignorance, their prejudice, their bigotry, (prejudice/bigotry, bigotry/prejudice, same things said differently?)their need to feel better than. Better than almost everyone who isn’t them. I’m sorry world, that my country has come to this. It’s not the country I was raised to believe it was. Not anymore, anyway. Maybe it never was, and I was just too young and naive to realize. That’s it for now. Gertrude needs to sit on my lap, apparently, and typing isn’t easy in that situation. LOL

>Cooking

>Discussing Tastespotting.com with my friend Tess awhile ago, I sort of figured out why I don’t cook anymore. Besides the energy each individual step takes, I have to think about each individual step…focus on each step. All the things I used to just do automatically are now individual obstacles to overcome on the way to the completed dish. Getting out each pan/utensil/ingredient. Prepping each pan/ingredient. Washing each veg, peeling each veg, chopping/slicing each veg, getting out the oil, putting the oil in the pan, turning on the burner/oven, remembering to turn OFF the burner/oven. Each step takes energy, thought, focus, concentration, dealing with pain caused by standing, chopping, whatever. Having to take rest breaks in the middle of chopping or stirring or whatever. All the things we take for granted and just DO when we are healthy become monumental hurdles to overcome. Even making toast requires remembering to take the toast out of the toaster when it is ready and not just sitting down at the computer and finding cold toast or tea or whatever next time you go into the kitchen for a drink of water. I eat a lot of yogurt and cereal and frozen dinners.

>Thinking

>
Having a little introspective moment here. Something occurred to me just now. I can be a real jerk sometimes. Consciously, I don’t mean to be, it’s just who I am, giving people a hard time, being a pain in the ass. However hard I try to convince myself that I am an okay person, just a bit strangely peculiar, slightly eccentric, but not malicious, I always end of feeling like shit about myself. Anyway…….it just dawned on me, I think I am subconsciously trying to drive people away before they leave on their own. I’m kind of surprised that I didn’t really think of that before. I’ve lost everyone I cared about in my life, from the time I was very young and my cousin and I lived with our grandparents. Her father came and took her away. She was my idol, a few years older, and helped me cope with a difficult world. Then, my mother wanted me to live at home when I started school. I was terrified of my alcoholic father and dreaded it, but had to go. From then on, life was hell. Then my grandfather died and my grandmother went to live with my aunt. This was all before I was nine. More losses followed, with the worst being the loss of my granddaughter, and then my husband, who left me and later died. I never see my children, and our relationship is sometimes very rocky, sometimes okay. I always have in the back of my mind that I just need to be alone all the time, because I am so bad with people and don’t deserve to have friends. So, the driving them away. I think I am one strangely peculiar, eccentric, crazy, and broken person. Mostly broken, and broken beyond repair. I know. I was in therapy for years after my husband left. Some things can’t be fixed, and I think I am one of them. I used to just think I was scatter-brained, dense, too stupid to know what was wrong with me that made everyone dislike me, but now I know that I am all of those as well as really, truly, broken. That’s it for today’s episode of self-indulgent feeling sorry for myself-ness. And a big boo-hoo, let’s all feel sorry for Jean from the world. Shit.

>Another Helpful Site

>I just had a lovely email from Nolan, from here:

http://www.healthline.com/channel/fibromyalgia.html

I am adding the site to my blogroll, which has needed updating for quite some time anyway. So check it out, people. More information is a good thing.

>New Who

>In spite of some serious misgivings about Matt Smith as the new Doctor, I really think he is amazing. I am loving Eleven. The latest ep on BBCAmerica is reviewed in the article I’ve linked below. It is one of my favorite Who episodes ever. I love Bill Nighy in any and everything I’ve ever seen him in, I loved the portrayal of Vincent, and I didn’t even mind the cheesy monster, because the story of Van Gogh was so touching and real. If you have to wait for the DVDs I’m sorry, but it is worth the wait. There are some spoiler vids included in the review, so don’t play them if you don’t want to know. Here’s the link:

http://io9.com/5574018/doctor-who-proves-that-art-and-compassion-both-remain-mysteries

Edit: More Good Who to View

>Summer

>It’s 90 degrees with a dewpoint of 72. I think that qualifies as summer. OH, how I love my central air.

Had a nice Saturday. When to a friend’s house to hang out and another friend I haven’t seen in quite a long time was there. Lovely afternoon with lots of chatting. Chatting is good. My friend is buying a house near New Bedford, Mass. Her husband just retired after being a teacher and administrator for a long time. I think he’s going to work at Home Depot now. We both love tools and gizmos. He got a gift certificate from there as a retirement gift and bought a portable table saw thingy. I am so jealous. LOL I tease him that if he actually got a job there it would be like when I worked in a greenhouse. I never saw my pay because by the time payday rolled around, I’d already spent the money on plants and pots and other gardening items. I even got a raise and didn’t notice til my boss mentioned it one day. LOLOL

I am getting lots of fruit and veg today. Have plans to make summer dishes like four bean salad and hummus. Usually what happens when I get lots of ‘ingredients’ is that I have a flare and don’t have the ability to actually use them. I’m hoping that won’t happen this time.

Does anybody still watch tv? I have gotten so bored with it, and so tired of all the commercials, that even if it’s a program I like, I more often than not will just turn it off at the first commercial break. Too much wasted time maybe? Although I don’t have a problem wasting time on the computer, but then what I see/do/read is my choice, not the networks. Geez, I am rubbish at punctuation. There’s not many programs left that I really like, anyway. Eureka is one I do enjoy. Oh, and The Big Bang Theory. I love that show. And Chuck.

Anybody out there? Anyone? No? Well, I started this blog sort of for myself, so if no one else reads it, I guess it really doesn’t matter. I at least have a place to look back and see how I was doing at different points in the past. Worse, better, the same? I do notice trends, or cycles. Things are bad with the illness, things are better. I am depressed, I am not. Everything changes, which is a good thing to accept in life. I think it’s the most important part of Buddhism, to not be attached to things being a certain way. That is the cause of much unhappiness and dissatisfaction. What is, is, and tomorrow what is will be something else. Or, as my latest favorite quote says, “Build yourself a bridge and get the fuck over it.” Oh, yeah.

>Another Meme

>I like memes, I guess. LOL

Donna Noble
Donna Noble
Take Which Doctor Who companion are you? (girls) today!
Created with Rum and Monkey‘s Personality Test Generator.

You’re Donna Noble!

Oi! Wotch it, Martian boy! The Doctor thinks he can spout all kinds of ridiculous technobabble and ‘Last Time Lord Angst’ at you just because he’s from outer space, huh? Well, you’re not having any of it! You’ve got a heart of gold and a will of iron, and you’re a rather boggling combination of a romantic idealist and a staunch realist. But you never let logical paradoxes get to you; you prefer to shoehorn the universe into a little box of your own perception. More often than not, it fits… probably because the universe is too intimidated to argue!

>Muggy

>Muggy, muggy, muggy. Even with the a/c on all night, it is very, very humid in here. On the other hand, so far, I’m feeling okay today. Slept all afternoon yesterday. Tired was Us. Then slept a few hours last night on the couch. So I am up early (for me) waiting for a delivery. Excitement! I don’t really buy stuff very often, but when I do I use Amazon or Overstock.com and go for free shipping. I like free shipping. Sometimes shipping costs are more than the actual item. I’m not paying that. Eating my yogurt, made coffee in my little vacuum pot, and playing on here. It’s a good start. I think my friend Tess is coming over later to view my purchase, too. If it just wasn’t MUGGY! Oh, I really do not love muggy, although apparently there are some very odd people who do. What is wrong with them?

Upping my meds has helped. I have been feeling much better. Less pain is always good. It means I’m not as worn out from coping with it, my mood is better from not having to cope with it, I can do more, it’s all good. Pain affects every aspect of life. In ways you may not even be aware of at the time. Only when it’s better can you look back and see those subtle effects. Ah, well. Time for that coffee.

>OIL

>This is a bit long, but very, very worth watching. Rachel Maddow at her best. Why can’t people who are really in office/power have the same clarity and determination? Please watch this.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/32545640

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Edit: Here’s a couple of pictures for you:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/picture/2010/jun/14/bp-oil-spill-oil-spills

http://www.afterelton.com/sites/www.afterelton.com/files/nemo-bp.jpg

Today seems to be an oil-spill info rich day on the sites I read, so I’m just adding more as I come across it:

http://www.makeuseof.com/tag/6-ways-visualize-bp-oil-spill/

>Ho Hum

>I’ve been awake all night. I slept last night (Sunday night), but was up all night the night before. This is a very strange illness. Loss of muscle strength, complete exhaustion, pain, and inability to sleep. Pills help, then they don’t. Wait a week, a month, a year, and that particular medicine MAY work again. Or not. Could somebody please just fix me? I’ve had this since 1997, and it got old after the first five minutes. LOL Oh. I forgot the mention the memory loss, the brain fog, the inability to process information in a timely fashion. Sometimes I have to read things several times, on several different days, before I understand what I’m reading. Sometimes I don’t remember what you said seconds after you said it. Makes life interesting. Oh, well. It’s a beautiful day. The gray is finally gone. No more rain for awhile, I think. I like rain. It’s nice to have sunshine now and then however. So. Should I try to sleep, try to stay awake all day, sit here and stare at the wall for awhile? I’ve stayed awake (NOT by choice) for up to three days, and still needed to take medication to sleep. Oh, I think I’m grouchy. Later, readers.

>OMG

>I think I’ve said I grew up in Colorado. When I was very young, we would have the odd hailstorm here and there, but never anything like this. At least that I remember. I totally agree with the OMG’s here, but they are slightly overdone, and I wish the guy had held the camera steadier. Still, this is OMG!