Taken this morning. Window in bedroom has been open since yesterday and it is perfectly comfortable in here. NOVEMBER Mother Nature. November. Picture is kind of meh because of the broken seal on the window which means it is cloudy and streaked. The left hand window is even worse. Oh, well. Someday I will live in a nice place. I hope.

Peeved with Crapazon, as walker I ordered for DD’s partner, who recently had back surgery, is STILL not delivered. They keep asking if I want a refund. NO. Just deliver the darn thing already. Sheesh!

My friend Tess is sick, so no going out today. Hoping it is nothing serious, but she is pretty careless with masking and going places where people don’t mask or social distance. Worried about her.

Listening to my AWOL Nation station on Pandora. Good stuff there. Right now it’s playing Def Leppard Pyromania. Cool.. LOL

Here’s what November should look like in my town. This is the town park from November 2016.

Not My Best Week

Out Monday, lunch at Panera, except not. While waiting for my friend to park the car, people kept coming into Panera with no masks. No masks on staff, either. I decided this was not a good idea, so we left and got pretend food at Dunkin Donuts. Then Walmart, because as I’ve said, I have completely abandoned my principles in favor of getting what I need easily. Then grocery store, because I needed a few things. Had not been in a grocery store in a very long time. Was fun. However, two stores in one day seems to have been way over my limit of doability. Tuesday I was very tired, but oddly had bursts of energy here and there and got a few things done. Wednesday was back to sleeping most of the day, same Thursday, and a bit better Friday. Tired today, and my body hurts, but not completely incapacitated. Maybe I will get something done. Maybe not.

Made perked coffee in my one-cup percolater, because the pour-over is never hot enough. Took forever, it seemed, but at least it was hot coffee.

#2 DD sent me this. Made me laugh.

My lower-calorie cat food was delivered and stolen before I could get it from downstairs. Got a refund, but why oh why do they insist in leaving all packages in the outer lobby that is open to the street? I complain but nothing changes. Things used to be delivered to my door. The richer Bezos gets, the worse Amazon service gets, it seems.

Been gray all week and cold. Warmer today and rainy, but still gray, obviously. Rain needs clouds, clouds means gray. Yes, I have lost my marbles. Seen them anywhere, anybody?

Trying to avoid as much as possible anything having to do with politics and stupid, stupid people. Kind of binge-watching season 2 of In The Dark, loving the guy who plays Josh, Theodore Bhat, great to see Rich Sommer again, and watched the first four eps of Defending Jacob. Still loving Ted Lasso. Grantchester on PBS. QI, cause laughing hysterically is a very good thing. Narrowboat shows. Not sure I could live on one, but the scenery is spectacular. Finished Another Life. I really like Samuel Anderson, who plays William, and have since he was on Doctor Who.

It was a good, if a bit confusing at times, show. Am watching Invasion, which is nothing like you’d think it would be, and was very happy with a certain outcome in episode 4, because I hate, hate, hate people like that particular cretinatious one. Is that even a word, cretinatious? Do I care? LOL

Have not had a chance to really try out my walker. So want to walk up the street and check out the new shops (I love my town), but either incapacitated or gray and rainy out. So maybe sometime soon. Ordered a walker for my DD’s partner, who has had back surgery and needs it, and of course Not Really Amaz(ing)on, is screwing up the delivery. What else is new?

Did I mention that Gertrude had worms and got treated and has had a major personality change since? Back to the cute and affectionate and not hostile kitty she had been until recently, so I guess her unpleasant personality was a result of not being well. Wish I knew how to tell if something is wron or just her being grumpy. Glad she is back. Glad vet gave her such a clean bill of health. Even teeth and gums are spectacular. I do believe this is a result of her only ever eating Blue Buffalo Wilderness grain-free food since she moved in. Glad I got her so young, too. Not quite three months old, so did not have long eating Friskies. Friskies is corn. Cats do not eat corn, people. Geez. She was two in June, so over two years of Blue Buffalo. Think they’ll give me a discount for plugging them? LOL Not really plugging them, just relating how well Miss G is doing eating their food. She just needs more exercise, and those darn giant cat wheels are really expensive and no guarantee she’d use it anyway, so all I’ve got is a laser light that she chases a bit then lays down and watches it. No, Gertrude. You need to move, darn it.

This one is 500 dollars. Five Hundred dollars.

Did find some vids on how to make your own cat wheel. Like that’s going to happen.

Anyway, that’s my update. Hope you are all staying safe and wearing your masks, not watching that underminer of democracy and sanity called Fox News, and are definitely NOT Republican. Sorry, Republicans, but OMG what has happened to your intelligence? Trump is not god, Tucker Carlson is not a prophet, and really, you should think about what you’re doing here. Seriously.

Couple of Things

Interesting article about Facebook

My new walker came yesterday. My homemaker helped me put the wheels on, which was all the assembly it needed. It is fantastic. Very sturdy, very well made it seems, and comfortable as a seat. Cannot wait to go outside and try it out, but have to wait for a better body-working day. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

Language Erasure

A quote from an article in today’s New York Times Morning Newsletter:

“Beginning in the 1850s, the countryโ€™s European settler government punished children who spoke the language at school and isolated Maori families by embedding them in white neighborhoods. New Zealand declared Maori an official language in 1987, but by then most of its speakers were older.”

I think the thing that really began to turn me away from religion, before I decided I am actually an atheist, was the move ‘Hawaii’. I was incensed at the treatment the missionaries doled out. It really made me think about the arrogance and self-righteousness of Christians. How many cultures have they tried to destroy the languages and traditions of? Your way is not the only way, it is not the better way, it is just one way to deal with the world. It’s like most things; your right to your beliefs ends when it begins to infringe on my beliefs. Your right to not wear a mask or get vaccinated ends when it infringes on my health and well-being. If you want to believe in a certain version of ‘god’, fine, but do it in your own space. You don’t have the right to force me to believe what you believe. If you don’t want to wear a mask or get vaccinated, fine, but keep to your own space. You don’t get to contaminate mine and risk my health or my loved ones health or your own loved ones health, for that matter. How many have died because an unvaccinated or unmasked loved one infected them. Your rights do not trump my rights. If you choose to reject science, expect to be excluded from things. It was your own choice that excluded you. Okay, this is a bit rambling/ranting, but this article just made me angry and frustrated. Sorry about that, except not really. I am so over self-centered, ‘why yes, I do choose to be ignorant’, selfish morons.

On the bright side, took Miss G to the vet yesterday, and she is very healthy, except for needing to loose a bit of poundage. She just does not get enough exercise, poor baby. I do not over feed her, and couldn’t if I wanted to, cause she is an extremely picky eater and really does not even eat all of her food in a day. So switching to a weight-loss Blue Buffalo. It only comes in chicken, but it’s the only grain-free one I could find. Hate to even change, because she is doing so well on the Wilderness varieties I mix together and feed her. Had to buy it from Amazon, too, because would have to buy waaaay too much to get free shipping from Chewy, which is my usual supplier. Once I can go back to her normal food, it will be back to Chewy, cause I am really happy with them.

Lunched out and went to Walmart before vet visit. Ate a a place with no masks and no distance seating, but they had an empty separate room for larger parties, so I insisted on being seated there, away from everyone. It’s always a risk, but after so long being just here on my own and never going out at all, I really do not want to not get to have lunch out with my friend Tess, or anybody else, if I knew anybody else who wanted to lunch with me


Hate going to Walmart, but just have had to give up on my principles if I ever want to get anything I need. I’ve spent most of my adult life trying to be a responsible citizen, and buying organic, humanely raised, etc., wherever possible, and not giving my money to the greedy jackasses out there, but choices keep getting narrower and narrower. It’s true what they say, humanity, you can’t fix stupid, and we seem to have stupidity going on to the max.

But it was a good and fun day, and me and the vet and the assistant had a lot of laughs. You can have fun anywhere, even when your baby is getting shot. Shots. LOL She behaved so very well, too. Did not even flinch when she got the injection, or he was poking around her innards or her ears or whatever. She is such a good girl, even is she is no longer tiny and cute. She weighs 13 pounds. Thirteen. Good grief Gertrude. No wonder it is excruciatingly painful when she walks on me. Yes, she like to walk and stand on me. Owwwwww. Do they make treadmills for cats, do you think?

Gertrude now
Just moved in with me


Social Security Benefits Will Increase by Almost 6 Percent in 2022

Wow, I’m going to be rich.

“The cost-of-living adjustment (COLA) will amount to an additional $92 a month for the average retired worker.” One year I got a raise, and by the time they figured all my whatever, I wound up with less money than the year before.

Here’s an article about it that tells how much people will get. I am in the middle, not the top.


Beautiful autumn tree

Went out with Tess, ate at Panera (autumn squash soup, omg), went to the dollar store, but they were all out of dollars. Got some square-box tissues and some Yardley soap. I love Yardley soap. Lots of pain, in spite of taking Aleve this morning. Don’t know what I am doing wrong, but ow.

Came back here and showed Tess some shows online that she might like, and during same, she was playing laser light with Gertrude. Gertrude is totally addicted and jumps up on the coffee table and tries to get me to play with her, but it hurts my hands, and the new one with off/on switch does not come til tomorrow. Anyway, every time she jumped up, Tess picked up the laser toy and played with her. DO NOT ENCOURAGE THE CAT. Please. She drives me batty over it already. Try to do something on the laptop with a cat’s butt in your face.

Reading my newsletters, came across this. Was going to watch Squid Game til I read the CC was NOT what was actually said, so this came at just the right time. Another thing I had no idea about.

A Perfect Example

of my ‘could, not should’ mantra. You Should Eat Salads for Breakfast (Wait, Donโ€™t Leave) by Meredith Dietz. I ‘could’ eat salads for breakfast, but there is no way in hell that is going to happen’. See how that works? LOLOL

Having a really not great day. No idea why. Had a weird dream last night where someone was dragging me by my feet and I was trying to call out but no sound came out. After several tries I was able to cry louder and louder til I woke myself up, and immediately thought ‘I hope the neighbors didn’t hear that’. ๐Ÿ™‚ Started the day okay, pain gradually started up and got worse until all I could do was lay on the couch ouching (as in ‘ow’, not c-ouching. LOLOL) and being miserable and trying to sleep through it. So I did sleep a bit and dreamed an entire mystery movie, which I completely forgot less than five minutes after I woke up. It was pretty good, too, I seem to remember. Weird day. Pain a bit better, but still pretty incapacitated by it. Am going to order in, I think, because making food is just not on. Don’t have any ‘throw them into the toaster oven to heat up’ things on hand, darn it. Oh, well.

Pretty Good For A Recovery Day

Back hurts a lot, but I am getting things done and working on a routine to get me through the day without just laying on the couch reading. So far, it’s an all-good half day in a row. ๐Ÿ™‚

Had to close the window night before last because freezing in here, and opened it again today. Fresh air is one of my favorite things.

Miss G did not go to the vet yesterday, because she decided hiding in an ‘inaccessible to anyone but her’ place was a better idea. Rescheduled. Did do lunch at Panera, and Tess wanted to try the Cinnamon Crunch Latte, but of course the espresso machine was down. Could you not just use regular coffee? Apparently not. Then Walmart, which I have just given up on boycotting, because sometimes you just need things, right, and it doesn’t really do any good anyway, when you are practically the only one doing the boycott. Got a new umbrella, cause my old one is in really bad shape and you can’t use the folding one like a cane and carrying a cane and an umbrella is a pain. So new umbrella, new neck cushion because it seems memory foam hardens up after awhile and it was hurting my neck. Not really the reason to have a neck pillow. Also got some kitty slippers. They are hanging to dry after washing because always wash everything before you wear/use it, and they seem to hold a quart of water each so will be awhile before I can model them. But they have cute ears which Miss G is going to love.

If you follow Barack Obama on Instagram, he posted some pictures of him at various White House science fairs, and I could not help asking myself, ‘could you imagine the orange disgrace in any of these pictures?’. I think not. I liked Obama (and Biden, yes I like Joe Biden) because they are real people. They act like real people, and I hope you know what I mean by that. Pictures below.

Here’s some things relevant to me that I found on

Nurse and pharmacist both said mine is pretty much non-existent.
This is the truth of my life. ๐Ÿ™‚
At least.

Obama and Biden

WASHINGTON, DC – JULY 16: U.S. President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden share a laugh as the US Senior Men’s National Team and Brazil play during a pre-Olympic exhibition basketball game at the Verizon Center on July 16, 2012 in Washington, DC. (Photo by Patrick Smith/Getty Images)

Who would you rather have in charge? Those guys, or this one? I know who I’d want.

Ah, Well

Not so great today, but still not as bad as I have been. After not having any good days at all for some time, I have had two in the same week, and today is a semi-good day, too. It’s Tess and Ed day, so I got a few groceries, a fish sandwich from McD’s, which is our Sunday treat. Not sure why, but we have it every Sunday. AND they put together my trampoline. We all three tried it out, too. Fun times. Would do a picture if the house wasn’t still a freaking disaster area, but here’s Miss G from this morning when I was on the phone with Tess.

Couple of Things

Better today, finally, btw. No idea why, but not complaining.

There’s an article in today’s CrimeReads newsletter.

Saw this movie (Wait Until Dark) in the theater when it first came out way back a long time ago, (Alley Oop Oop, Oop Oop, Oop Oop.) and at one point _everyone_ in the room gave a huge gasp. It was that kind of movie, and if you ever get a chance to watch it, I highly recommend it. No gore, either. I don’t care for gore.

From 7News, Boston

The other thing is yesterday a man was killed when something flew off a truck into his car. This happened to a neighbor when we lived in NH. He was driving down the highway when a pipe flew off the truck in front of him and impaled him. How horrible. He left a wife and two young children, too. Be careful who is in front of you on the highway. Or behind you. I was once forced to take an exit off 95 South in NH when two semis came up behind me and made a game of forcing me to go faster and faster until I just took the next exit to get away from them. I was truly frightened.

Anyway, better today so far, and figured out how to make the cinnamon crunch latte from Panera and the cinnamon syrup came yesterday so I had one this morning. Yum. Not as good as theirs, but still yum. Cinnamon syrup is easy to make yourself, too, I’ve discovered, so will do that as soon as I stock up on cinnamon sticks. You sort of smash up 7 cinnamon sticks to shreds and put in pot with 2 cups each sugar and water. Bring to a barely boil on low, reduce and simmer 4 minutes and let sit overnight. Strain, pour into clean container and there you go. Found the recipe on Oh I didn’t do the whipped cream on top or anything, cause mine didn’t come that way at Panera anyway. I don’t do sweet drinks, but this one is very nice and not too sweet. I just added a splash of the syrup, but you can add it to taste. Strong coffee and light cream or half and half. Okay, I’m done. “_


My favorite month. The colors! The cool air. The smell of wood smoke drifting in the windows. Apples. Something about October just sings to me.

Pumpkins, lovely orange pumpkins. I grew pumpkins one year, and right before halloween, someone stole every single one of them.

These remind me of russets. Not sure.

Way back when, there was an old man up near Wrentham who sold very old varieties of apples. We liked to try as many different ones as we could. There was an apple tree in our back yard, too, and I tried to sort of give it a kick start, but it didn’t really put out much fruit. Don’t even know what variety it was.

Oh, and winter squash. I love winter squash. I think I’m hungry. LOL

My cousin Glenda, who was a few years older than me, and I, used to rake the leaves from the huge cottonwood tree in my gramma’s front yard, into rooms. One huge floor plan, made of leaves. The smell of fallen leaves, and the crunch when you walk through them. What’s not to love about October? Soon will be the fun holidays. Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas. Makes me wish I was a kid again sometimes. The best part of Christmas, though, was when the kids were young. Watching their excitement and agony over having to wait to open presents. One year we bought the eldest a stereo, in a huge box, and she was going mad trying to figure out what it was. I miss those days sometimes. Anyway, it’s October, and I am happy. ๐Ÿ™‚ Happy October, everyone!


Something I have that it has been decided is no longer a thing, it seems. Anyway, been checking out some vids about it, and I absolutely have it, which I already knew from tests I took several years ago. It explains so much about my life. Good to know things.

We have gone from summer to it’s darn cold in here. Wind is from the NNW, so is blowing straight in my windows. Time to close them. Darn. More isolation. I have had a not great week after my spectacularly fun Monday. Story of my life. One good day in a row is something I used to have quite often, but it has been a very long time between the last one and Monday. So over this.

Yeah, feeling kind of negative today. Tired, in pain, apathetic in a way. Want to have something to eat, but can’t even get myself up to get to the kitchen and see that there is nothing there that is just edible without doing any prep work first. Bah.


Nooooo. Knocks me out for an hour or so, awake for a bit, knocked out again, awake the entire rest of the night, sleep all day. How is this any different from NO melatonin. I give up. Plus the pain was much worse again today. At least I had one really good day in a row there. Although I think my children are not happy with me eating indoors at Panera. But my friend wants to go places that only have eat in, and I don’t get to go anywhere without going with her, so I try to not be a pain about it. Dilemma, dilemma. I just don’t want to get sick. I am barely hanging on by my fingernails as it is, world.


It got cold. Was in the very, very low 50’s overnight, and is only 59 right now and the north wind was blowing in all day. Fortunately (little joke there) I was asleep for most of it. It is getting dark earlier by leaps and bounds, too. I love autumn, and I kind of like winter with cold and snow and all, but so many hours of dark is hard to cope with sometimes. Have to start turning the sun on when I get up. I have two full-spectrum bulbs in the overhead light in the main room, and it is rather like having sunshine in here. Helps a lot with those dark winter days.

Mine came covered, so if it had whipped cream and topping, I was not aware of it.

Am wishing I had a cinnamon crunch latte from Panera right about now. Tried putting cinnamon in the filter with the coffee, but it’s not the same at all. Okay, looked it up to see if I could make it myself. Here are the ingredients from the Panera site:

Reduced Fat Milk (Vitamin A Palmitate, Vitamin D3 Added), Espresso, Cinnamon Bark Naturally Flavored Syrup (Cane Sugar, Water, Caramelized Sugar [For Color], Natural Flavor With Other Natural Flavors, Citric Acid), Whipped Light Cream (Cream, Cane Sugar, Nonfat Milk, Sorbitan Monostearate, Carrageenan, Dextrose, Natural Vanilla Flavoring), Cinnamon Sugar Topping (Sugar, Cinnamon, Modified Corn Starch, Soybean Oil)

So milk, cinnamon syrup, espresso and topping. Does it ever taste good. Can make or buy cinnamon syrup, it seems, so may give that a try, and I prefer half and half or light cream in my coffee. Whatever, and however it may not be healthy, I will definitely get it again, should I get to go to Panera before they phase it out again.

So A Weird YouTube Thing Happened

I’ve started watching a series about a guy on a narrowboat. I’ve seen 3 or 4 episodes, and I can’t remember the name of it. But I went to check it out, and it seems to have vanished. It is not in my saved folder, not in my youtube subscriptions, not in my youtube history. Gone. Just gone. How can that happen? Anybody????

On the OMG I am so over fibromyalgia front, I upped my Prednisone from 6mg to 7mg on the 25th, and by yesterday I was better enough to actually go out to lunch and do some dollar store shopping with my friend Tess. I have not been able to do this in a while, so it was a super great day, AND I had a cinnamon crunch latte at Panera, and for someone who does not normally go for sweet drinks, OMG I could drink this every single day. If I had a way to get to Panera every single day, which I don’t.

Today is recovery day, so pretty useless, but not in the normal ‘life sucks right now’ useless way, just need to recovery from being out and walking and shopping and all. Feeling groovy, I mean hopeful.

Just Some Rambling This was spot-on. The book that was picked for me, Bewilderment by Richard Powers, is exactly the one I would have picked from the list. Interesting.

So, last night I was watching a movie in which you can hear some of the moon-landing conversation, and a guy saying, “Lift off. We have liftoff.”, and I remember that, and staying up late or getting up really early to watch liftoffs because Colorado is in a different time zone. Anyway, l suddenly had the thought that nothing is fun anymore. The excitement of watching a rocket with people in it shooting into space is just one thing. There was hope, and looking forward to new discoveries and dreaming of going to Disneyland and just a positive vibe about life. Now it feels like it’s just everybody hating everybody and some of us actively working to destroy our country and spouting nonsense that is causing untold numbers of our friends and neighbors to die of the plague, because stirring things up and spreading lies means ratings and profit. It seems you can’t trust anybody, especially where profit is involved. There is no pride in workmanship or putting out a quality product, because workers are treated like disposable, easily replaced pieces of machinery, and cost-cutting is the main goal, and a very few people have gathered all the wealth to themselves and do nothing but hoard it, when they could easily make everything so much better by using that wealth to fix things, and give people good lives. And all those who partiipated in whatever way in the insurrection and are plotting to take down the government they are part of, just walk around with no consequences for their actions.
And in spite of being warned for decades it is business as usual as the climate changes and life is radically changing as a consequence, and not for the better.

Also, I had to cancel my eye doctor appointment, because I was awake all night and just could not get it together enough to get ready. Frustration. I think I could cope better with the crap I mentioned here, except for the fact that the frustration of always feeling horrible and being almost completely unable to do anything I need or want to do is starting to really get to me. The prospect of another isolated winter is in the back of my mind, too. I almost never go outside, and boy do I wish I had even a tiny balcony I could put a chair on and sit outside, so I am looking like the pastiest, most washed-out, palest human around. I have a lot of UK ancestry, so I am already pretty pale as it is. Never going outside is not helping with that.

BTW, the movie I was watching is called “The Map of Tiny Perfect Things’, and it is kind of a Groundhog Day time loop movie but nothing like Groundhog day. I quite enjoyed it, and it was not at all what I was expecting. Check it out.

I will try to be more cheery next post. Sometimes life just gets to me.