A Good Quote

Relevant to me, and probably a lot of other people as well.

“I’ve wasted a lot of time in my life. I’ve thought too much about what people will say or what they’re gonna think. And sometimes it’s over silly things like going to the grocery store or going to the post office. But there have been times when I really stopped myself from doing something special. All because I was scared someone might look at me and decide I wasn’t good enough. But you don’t have to bother with that nonsense. I wasted all that time so you don’t have to.” —Julie Murphy, Dumplin’ 

Not feeling with it at all today.  Been up almost two hours and here I sit.  So far I’ve had a cup of coffee.  Still need to shower, get dressed, go to the post office, make some phone calls, and later there’s PT.  And here I sit.  This is most days of my life, actually.  Stalling, stalling, stalling, waiting for a burst of energy and/or enthusiasm that seldom comes.  It’s very gray today, too, and that never helps.  Oh, well.  🙂

Glorious Autumn Day

Last day of DST.  I wish they’d just NOT have us change the clocks in spring.  I hate, hate, hate DST.

Physical Therapy Monday.  Did a lot.  Recovery day yesterday was not too bad, but then this morning I woke up in some serious pain.  Especially in the arm that’s not as bad as far as the rotator cuff injury.  Need to discuss one of the exercises with the PT person.  Better now, though.  But ow!

Anyway, it is a lots of clouds, windy, sunny, leaves blowing high in the air kind of day.  Slowly cooling down from the 60’s it’s been the past couple of days.  Going to get cold tonight, I think.  Here’s a shot from earlier.  Can’t see the trees waving, unfortunately.  🙂

I love autumn.  It is the best time of the year, and then there’s snow to look forward to.  Coming back from the cat scan Thursday (all is fine, btw) everywhere you looked there was color and beauty.  Are other parts of the planet this glorious in the autumn?  I hope so.  Share the beauty, Mother Nature.

Life Is So Depressing

My town has a webpage where anybody can post interesting things. There was a story about a young boy being bullied for wearing nail polish, and some of the comments were just appalling. There are other things as well. In the general media, there are comments that just make me cringe. Some of these people may be my neighbors, people I come into contact with, live near my loved ones in other states, be my doctors, the checker in the grocery store. That so many people seem to be for the ‘values’ that this administration are pushing, it makes me ill, and frustrated, and frightened for anyone who is vulnerable. You’ve seen the news lately. You’ve seen what’s going on in my country. I am so ashamed of my fellow citizens who are doing these things, and so frightened for every one else. I truly have no idea how to change anything. I voted. Not everyone does, though. What else is there? I am ill and pretty much house-bound so signing petitions is about it. Frustration reigns. Here’s something from Mary Englebreit’s Instagram. I really think America is dead, and has been replaced by some horror show country:


It’s Sunday, it’s cold, and it’s quite breezy. Yet there are a lot of people out and about, walking on the sidewalk I can see from my window. It’s kind of nice. I am still struggling with pain and exhaustion, which is sometimes better than it is now. I wish the better part would make a comeback. I’ve been working hard to keep up with things, like not let the dishes pile up til the support person comes. It’s nice to have a tidy kitchen, especially when it’s as small as mine is. But the door to the kitchen is right at this end of the frig. The sink is between the frig and the dishwasher. That’s the entire kitchen.


Watching a movie. Man gets through customs with a diplomatic passport. Point is made that his bags are not checked by customs officers. Red Flag! Red Flag! Just because you’re a diplomat doesn’t mean you’re not a terrorist.

Am I right, or am I right. He is smuggling hand-held missle shooters. All of which brings me to my point: Diplomat/diploma. Do they share a root? (I am into roots lately) Duck Duck Go’d it.

The noun diplomat is related to the word diploma, from the Greek diploun, meaning “to fold double.”A diploma is an official paper — something diplomats carry on behalf of their governments.
[Search domain http://www.vocabulary.com] https://vocabulary.com/dictionary/diplomat

This made me happy, finding out. How can you not love language?

From Axios Science

“AI and human thought: Kaveh Waddell shows how the AI community is reacting to a new essay from Henry Kissinger, arguing that AI could erode humans’ ability to think critically.”

I’m sorry to tell you, but I think that ship has sailed. If people were able to do critical thinking, they would realize that they are voting to destroy themselves. It should never have been ‘Save the Planet’, it should have been ‘Save Yourselves, Save Humanity’. Too late. We are at the critical juncture, so they are saying. If we don’t do something right now, it is all going to go to hell. Well, so long as profit is the main motivation behind everything, I seriously doubt anyone who actually has any hope of doing something, will.

What ho?

It’s October tenth.  I turned on the air-conditioner this afternoon, because it was in the 80’s and muggy.  Which prompt me to wonder, ‘muggy’?  Looked it up:

Where did the word muggy originate?

It is believed to have come from the old Norse word Mugen, which means a mist.
It doesn’t mean ‘mist’ in today’s New England.  Hot, damp, sticky, yukky, are more like it.  It’s October, did I mention that?
My support person (they’re called homemakers, but support person makes more sense) dropped my keys down the elevator shaft Friday.  Twelve dollars for a new security door key from the locksmith across the street, 30 dollars for a new mailbox key from the post office, because they have to change the lock, and it could take weeks, so meanwhile mail delivery is on hold and I have to go to the post office to pick it up.  Post office is half a block away.  Such an inconvenience.  LOL  Charles offered to pay for them, before he knew the cost, but I lied and said it was all free.  Wasn’t his fault.
Much pain today, mostly in the injured knee which had gotten much better, so what went wrong now?  But fun day out with my friend Tess.  We did the key things, she had her mail held for their vacation next week, went to the DQ for a strawberry shake, and off to the liquor store, because I was totally and utterly out of Goslings Black Rum.  Bought the bigger bottle this time.  It lasts a while, cause I only  have it in Viking Thaws, and the occasional sip just because I can.  After that we had a fun game of Big Kahuna on the laptop.  We have more laughs playing that game.
Here’s a snap from the walk home from the post office today.



I love October.  Been gray and rainy off and on for several days.  A bit chill here and there, too.  Had my first Viking Thaw  of the season the other day, and actually had to turn the heat on for a bit a few days ago.  I  just had the a/c on a couple of weeks ago.  Never a dull moment with weather.  🙂

I am still not back to however good I was before the July whatever it was I had.  Lots of pain, still exhausted all the time.  I know these are fibro symptoms, but they have been worse since I was ill.  Upped the Prednisone to 3mg, and it helped, but only marginally.  Seeing the doctor on the 24th, for all the good it will do me.  His sign saying no one should be in pain does not apply to me, or so it seems. Complain, complain.  Sorry about that.  🙂

Here’s a quote I just came across:

“To the States or any one of them, or any city of the States, Resist much, obey little,
Once unquestioning obedience, once fully enslaved,
Once fully enslaved, no nation, state, city of this earth, ever afterward resumes its liberty.” —from “To the States,” Inscriptions Walt Whitman

We Are So Screwed

And we did/are doing it to ourselves willingly.  Have I mentioned that I believe humanity to be the stupidest species ever to inhabit this planet?  Cause I do.  Believe it.  Read the comments.  Comments are usually my favorite part.



I seriously doubt it, but the weather changed dramatically night before last.  It was actually a bit chilly in here that night, and last night as well.  Wind from the north/northeast, temp down at least 20 degrees.  Bliss oh bliss oh bliss.  Of course, dramatic weather changes mean dramatic changes in pain levels, and yesterday was a killer.  Better today.

Heat is unpleasant, but add humidity, and it just drains you.  No energy, no motivation, no anything that makes life worth living.  So I’m hoping this lovely weather lasts til winter.  Some nice rain here and there would be good.  It used to rain for days at a time, but now we only ever get showers.  Disappointing to someone who loves rainy days.

Trying to figure out things to eat, now that I have someone who will do food prep, but I just can’t seem to come up with anything that sounds like I want to eat it.  What is wrong with me?  Going to call a PT place, too, and set up something.  The exercises my doctor gave me for the leg thing seem to have just made it hurt more.  Oh, swell.

Lord, it is gorgeous today.  Sitting by the open window with the breeze blowing straight in from the north.  Sun is shining.  Just a perfect day.  It’s a good thing.

Image is from here:  https://sweetnrawme.wordpress.com/

Still Still Hot

Don’t remember where I snagged this, but isn’t it beautiful?
89 degrees Fahrenheit, humidity is coming down, but the dew point is still 70. Oi! This is longest I have ever run the a/c. Almost three weeks. I did open the windows part of one day, and all of one night, but otherwise, shut in with the a/c. Going outside is like walking into soup.

A couple of weeks ago, I had swimmer’s ear. I don’t even know how to swim. Now I have iliotibial band syndrome, a runner’s injury. I can barely walk some days, so running is not something that ever happens. WTF, body? Seriously?

Had fun yesterday, though. Saw my doctor because of the injury, had lunch with my friend Tess, and played Big Kahuna on the computer. Big Kahuna is the best game ever, because we usually end up laughing hysterically at some of the words it comes up with. We had lunch at the 99. They have a great burger, Vermont Cheddar and Bacon with caramelized onions on it, but it is unfortunately enough food for two people, so I usually wind up wasting half of it. I won’t it (eat.  I meant eat.  Duh)  something that’s been sitting in the car for however long, and I had the doctor and errands after lunch. Why are portions so huge? No one needs that much food at one sitting. It was half a pound…Half A Pound…of beef. A serving is four ounces. No wonder Americans are so huge. Plus, almost everything we eat has added sugar in it. Other countries don’t do this. Sugar is addictive, so if they add it to food, you tend to eat more, and then you buy more. We are being manipulated by the food industry. Oh, well.

I am trying not to wish it was autumn because of the humidity we’re having. I try to be in the moment and enjoy whatever I can find to enjoy about right now. But this is getting really old, Mother Nature. And we seem to be at an advantage over most of the country, where it is even hotter, or they are having floods or red tide or whatever. We did this to ourselves, people. We’ve been warned for years what was coming, but chose not to change a single way of doing things. More plastic, please. More electric gadgets. More cars. Recycle? Really? Why bother? We are a stupid, stupid species. Foul our own nest. Not the best survival strategy. Even if we manage to get to another planet anytime soon, there’s no guarantee we’d survive, and we most certainly would do our best to crap it up as well, because that’s what we do. We cannot run away from ourselves.

Am not really as grumpy as I must sound, I just get really frustrated with the way things are going, and the people in power and their supporters who are hurrying it all along so they can increase profits.

What’s good? Been watching some good stuff on my Firestick. Bletchely in San Fran, Lewis (again), that British Baking show, which is just fun. And reading so much every day. So many books, so little time. There are so many free and inexpensive books available for the Kindle, you could read one every hour and for the rest of your life and barely touch the list. I love books. Real books are better, but my hands hurt, it’s really difficult to get to the library, and when I have a cat, they want to put their butts on my books and it’s hard to read that way. I can’t have a cat now, because my new homemaker is badly allergic, but I am really missing having another living thing around. I suppose I could get a mouse, or a hamster, or a rabbit or something. I used to have guinea pigs. Their cute. Not sure what is and isn’t okay for someone with a cat allergy. I miss my Gertrude. She was the sweetest, cutest cat ever. Such a lady, too. Okay, I’m done for now. 🙂

Still Hot

Don’t know where this picture is from, but I have had the a/c on for twelve days. Twelve. This is a record for me, because I do like to open the windows. But it is like soup out there. The dew point has been in the 70’s for the whole twelve days, I think. It’s more like the DIScomfort index. Hot and sticky is my least favorite weather condition.

I was quite ill in early July. Went to the ER after several days of pain, pain, pain and misery, and had many tests. Nothing to say what I had, but I am better now. Still pretty weak, but slowly, slowly improving. I did get an extra homemaker hour and a second homemaker who will do shopping, food prep and cooking, and cleaning up after. Yes. Cooking is not something I do a lot of, because pain and exhaustion makes it very difficult. So real food again. Hooray!

One thing about any illness is that it makes the fibromyalgia much worse. So besides whatever illness you have, you are in ten times as much pain as normal. Not fun.

I’ve been back-and-forthing about getting another cat, and now it turns out the new homemaker is allergic, so that decided that. I miss having another living thing around,though. Being alone most of the time, it kind of gets to you, although after many years, I have gotten pretty used to it. Charles, my non-cooking homemaker, worries about it for me. Kind of sweet. He’s not the best cleaner I’ve ever had, but he is a really nice guy. So I have kitchen Lori, and everything else Charles. First time I’ve ever had two different homemakers, which is what they are called by the agencies.

Well, just thought I’d check in. If anybody is still out there, hope you are having a good summer. I know it’s not a good summer in most areas. Global warming is real. Vote the idiots who deny it and are doing everything possible to take away any sort of defenses we have, out of office. Please. Those people are blinded by dollar signs, and profit is all that matters to them. And yet, people still vote for them. I do not understand humanity. We seem to be one of the stupider species on this rock. Oh, well.


We’re having a heat wave. Oh, joy. It’s barely noon, and it’s in the 90’s. Fortunately, I have central air.

Have been feeling crap, went to doctor, got an antibiotic for a tooth/ear? thing, and slowly feeling better. Slowly. I think it’s leftover from the tooth infection from March. Seven days of antibiotics is never enough. I actually had to convince the doctor to give me these, and ten days worth. Doctors! They can be difficult. You have to stand up for yourself with them.

Need a shot of energy, but it’s not happening so far. So many things I want to do, so few things actually get done. I remember energy, and pain-free me, and getting things done. I’d like that me back, please.

Split up my huge spider plant, now I have two big pieces and no pots to put them in. Oh, well. They just keep on reproducing all the time, so I think I can toss these and not feel too bad about it. My little Christmas cactus that just sat there for years has gone crazy since I repotted and moved it. It seems happy now. Happy cactus. Why is it called cactus, since it isn’t one. I had one that a neighbor gave me years ago, and one year it bloomed for six months straight. I hadn’t moved it or repotted it or anything, it just went bananas that year. I like plants. I miss my garden a lot sometimes. Digging in the dirt is fun.

Been reading tons of fan fiction. I have tons of books to read, too, but none of them appeal right now. Everything I do in life seems to be based on my mood at the time. I wish I was one of those people who did things because they need to be done, but I’m more ‘do it when the mood hits me’. And I actually have energy. That’s a big thing, too, Not as tired as I was this time last week, so progress is being made.

I put some little bowls with baking soda and orange essential oils around the house, because being shut up it gets this weird odor. It’s from the rug, which was old old old when I moved in eighteen years ago, and they won’t replace it while I live here. Maybe carpet cleaners would help? I want to have the organizer back, too. I used to be so good at organizing, but illness seems to have robbed me of that skill, or else it’s just living in this tiny little prison box that’s sapped my ability to think of ways of doing things. I don’t know. Bringing in fresh eyes is a good thing, and she’s not out of my price range, so long as I’m careful with my money for the month. Done rambling for today. Stay cool, people.

The Nude Winter Solstice Swim and Getting Out of Your Comfort Zone. Right Out Of It.

An inspirational post. I was that kid, too, who crossed the street rather than face whoever was coming towards me.

heidi ruckriegel

ImageIt’s a midwinter morning in Hobart, after the longest night of the year.  White frost covers the grass.  The air temperature is 2 °C.  The sun’s not even up yet, because it’s only 6.45 am.  So why would people be driving, walking, and riding their bikes down to suburban Long Beach and assembling near the water, dressed in whatever clothes are the warmest things they own?  There they stand, in track pants, uggies, down jackets, scarves and beanies, casually chatting and laughing.  I join a small group.  We’re stomping our feet and rubbing hands together to keep warm.  Organisers, dressed in black, are bustling around near a black tent.  Gradually, things happen.  People line up casually, collect towels and caps, have a number drawn on their hand.  There’s a safety briefing.  Over to the (vaguely heated) change room.  Out we come in our white towels and red caps, down to…

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Went to Westport with Tess. Lovely day, lovely ocean, had lunch at a little place she found on line. Lobster rolls. New England cut hot dog buns, tiny bit of lettuce, topped with lobster, lobster, lobster. Drawn butter (ghee) on the side, and the best french fries ever. These were cut and cooked on site, none of that frozen, pre-done crap. Really tasted like fries my dad used to make. He made his own waffle-fry cutter once, too. My dad could cook. Seriously.

We used to spend a lot of time near the ocean when I was married. Plymouth or Newport (Second Beach, anyone) while we lived in Mass, then all up and down the NH/Maine coast when we lived in NH. I miss those days sometimes. There is nothing like the ocean. Nothing.

So today is recovery day. I always forget to figure in recovery day, but it always happens anyway. Never plan activities two days in a row when you have fibro. Trust me on this.

Today is another beautiful, gorgeous, sunny with blue skies and white fluffy clouds kind of day. This is a really good summer so far. Somes years I’ve had the a/c on almost every day starting in May. So far only one day this year, and that was for my homemaker. Cleaning when it’s hot and sticky is not fun, and worse when you’re on the low end of the pay scale. Why is it the people who do the actual work are the ones who get shafted in the pay department? Hardly seems fair.

Going to lie down and read now. Every part of my poor ole bod hurts. But it’s a beautiful day, which makes up for a lot. 😄

Oh, got a little bit of sunburn, too. I am definitely white Anglo-Saxon, and the sun is not my skin’s friend. Most of my ancestors are from the British Isles. Rain, rain, rain. After that, more rain. 🙂


Been silent again for a bit. Been struggling. Feeling depressed. I’ve now read that melatonin can cause depression, so am mostly avoiding it, and the sleeping thing is not going well. Not sure what to do about that. Feel like I am dying of loneliness. Missing my garden, wishing I had an outside so I could go sit in it. Looked up available apts in my area, and OMG are they all out of my price range, or what? Rents are ridiculous, and I am very lucky to be where I am. Even though it doesn’t have an outside. Stuck. No options. I’m sure there are a lot of people like that, and in much worse circumstances. This is not a bad place to live at all. I just really miss having access to outdoors that does not mean a main street in the middle of downtown. Anyway, aside from all that, am not doing too badly. Reading a lot, watching shows on Netflix, etc. The Sense8 movie was the best wrap-up ever. So glad I got to see it. I almost didn’t watch this show from the get go, but gave it a second chance, and never regretted it for a second. Really good show. All the really good shows get cancelled, in favor of the lowest common denominator drek, but you get to enjoy it while it lasts. LOST OMG was LOST ever a good show, up to a point. Then it just got stupid. Same with Battlestar Galactica, the new one. Edge of seat stuff, then not. Could have skipped the entire last season and not missed anything worth watching. Wish I had, actually. Am doing NCIS, and will until they bring on the blond. She just ruined it for me. Not because she’s blond, people. Am rewatching some favs, Midsommer Murders, cause it’s beautiful, Lewis because I love Lewis, and laurence fox, OMG. New Tricks, just because. And I love their version of “It’s all right”, sung by Dennis Waterman. I watched all of Keeping Faith with Eve Myles. I don’t like Eve Myles, because Gwen, but it was pretty good anyway. I was giving her a chance. There’s a series of movies ‘The Suspicions of Mr Whicher, which are pretty good, too. The best thing about all of this is no commercials. I love no commercials. It’s my favorite thing. So that’s the update. Yay.