Author Archives: excentric

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About excentric

I love sci-fi, music, reading, gardening. I am ill, but I am not my illness. Life is good. BTW, have I mentioned that I am a fan girl. Because I Am A FanGirl. Torchwood!

>Tuesday

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>Went out with Tess today. Then played with Misty. Fun, but very tired and achy now. Was hard not to go back to bed this morning, but I really didn’t want to bail one more time.

Downloaded IE7, and a new bookmark add-on, Bookmark wizard, which displays IE favs as a webpage. Pretty cool. Boring looking, but neat to have them all there in front of you, with addresses. I printed it out as a backup, too. Nothing on tv tonight, so just going to play on here til I fade.

Here’s another blog I found a couple of days ago. Makes me sad. http://gocomics.typepad.com/the_sandbox/

>Well, duh!

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>It’s Pacific time. Had to change it in settings.

Completely forgot. I got broadband Feb 14th. Loving it, but haven’t been on much due to flare. But I can watch you tube, clips, tv shows. It’s fantastic! Yay, me.

>Life is hard

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>Almost lost this blog, forgot how to get to it. Been very, very ill for the past month or so. Started with bursitis, then sinus infection. Got meds, infection cleared up but not bursitis. whole thing brought on major flare. I have slept most of the month away. Since mid Feb. Last night I slept 12 hours. Twelve. Today, when I woke up, I felt pretty good, took a shower and washed my pj’s, then I was tired, and vegged mostly. Feeling very sad. Why? I think I’m just lonely, overwhelmed with this illness, fighting to keep up with things, keep in control of my life, and not succeeding at all well. I need help. I am not managing my life at all lately, for quite awhile, really. I don’t even open my mail sometimes. Then I think, well, why should I get help, I didn’t go help Mama. I am a bad person. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t go. I couldn’t help. I wasn’t able. I feel very bad because I didn’t, even though in my head I KNOW I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t live there, I couldn’t take care of her, I couldn’t manage her life. I can’t manage mine. I’m sorry. I am so worn down by this illness. Some days I just don’t want to fight anymore. I don’t want to try to keep a schedule, get up on time, go to bed on time, eat, whatever. I want a vacation from being me, just for awhile. So I can regroup, get it together, get back in sync. Only I wouldn’t, because the illness would still be there when I got back. Life is hard.

>New Toys

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>Today I got a new stereo and a new wireless keyboard and mouse. I like them all. They don’t make things very well, however. I purchased a Sharp stereo, with tape player, five cd player, radio. It sounds really good, not as good as Bose, but I can’t afford Bose. However, the wires are thin, the plastic connections are flimsy, and the remote is………..well, it’s a remote. I’m hoping this will last me for awhile, but time will tell.

The keyboard and mouse are nice. It is a curved keyboard, but not much, and not huge and ungainly and hard to use, like my previous ergonomic keyboard. The mouse fits my hand, too. I think I’m going to like it. Some things are good, some things are not. We’ll see how my new toys stack up a few months down the line.

>New Year’s Day

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>Kind of a blah day. Start the way you mean to go on. I sure didn’t. Spent the day vegging and watching marathons on tv……Twilight Zone, Monk. Then cable went all funny, so I decided to see if I had anything to say. Apparently not. Just that I hope this year the human race will get a brain!

>First Post in First Blog

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>Now, do I actually have anything to say? I’m not sure why my thoughts or opinions would be of interest to anyone but myself, but who knows?

Right now, I am very distressed with the state of the world, from political, environmental and just about every other angle there is. But I am trying to live peacefully, with kindness and concern for others, being positive, giving that smile to everyone I see……….attempting to do my very tiny part in making the world a better place. I really think that if we all could just be pleasant to those around us, strangers or not, it would help. I also think that the internet can bring people closer. Everyone talks about the isolation of the cyber-world, but when you meet people on the web, judging of looks, dress, color, accents, doesn’t come into play, and the need for the silly small-talk we usually do when meeting someone just isn’t necessary. We can just dive right in to the subject at hand, discussing Buddhism, politics, gardening, war, whatever. I really like that, and I believe that the more we can have a dialog with people we would never normally meet, we can break down barriers and just get to know each other as fellow human beings.

That’s a lot of pontificating for a first post in a first blog, so I’m done for tonight.