Someone on Instagram talks about now believing in any and every thing that will bring on the downfall of this administration and someone commented that their spirit guide said everything is happening as it should and by the end of the month Trump will be led out of the White House in handcuffs. Please oh please oh please, and let him spend the rest of his time on the planet in a horrible jail cell with the worst food imaginable and no heat and not medical care. You know, like what he want for those of us who aren’t his rich cronies. But then someone else said pretty much what I have been thinking for some time. Still screwed.
mxphoenixfierz Unfortunately It wouldn’t matter if the president and the vice president were removed from office. Because the line of succession more than 15 people down are all far right religious zealots who are members of the organizations that got us here in the first place.
I got five likes on my previous post. Didn’t think anyone actually read this blog. Thank you. Checked out all of your blogs, too. Followed some. 🙂
Beautiful day, but chilly. 53 F right now at 12:30pm. Am dreading next weekend when we change the clocks. Autumn change is not as bad as spring, cause I don’t change the regular plug-in clocks til the next morning, so if I get up at 9, oh, wait, it’s only 8. I like that. But I wish they would just stop the whole thing. It is very bad for our health, and I have read that there are more heart attacks right after. Takes forever for my body to readjust. But they are too busy deliberately and systematically destroying my country to do anything productive. I am just so angry and appalled and all the other ‘OMG WTF are they doing?’ words.
On the other hand, because there is always an other hand, I am cleaning up and backing up my laptop. I always back up, but it’s been eons since I have actually looked to see what I am backing up. So many copies of files and duplicates of folders and whatever. How did it get to be such a mess? Years of painful debilitating illness means I have not been as on top of things as I might have been. So am trying to fix it now. Does not help that since the Amazon debacle the other day, all my internet-connected items have been so slow. I have seen on line that it is not just me, either. Other people are having the same problem. Did no one mention that centralizing and allowing monopolies is a really, really bad thing? There used to be laws against it, but Reagan put paid to that, and a lot of other things. ‘Mentally ill people do not need to be in care, they will do fine on their own.’ And homelessness skyrocketed. Deregulation. So many things. Second worst president ever. You know who the worst one is. Yes, pretty angry lately. Just got a raise in my SNAP benefits starting next month, so of course, there will be no SNAP benefits next month. Okay, done with that.
Being angry is not healthy, but it’s hard not to be. So focusing on clearing this laptop up, looking at the beautiful day out my windows, and laughing at my cat, who since losing weight has been acting more like she did as a kitten. Leaping, trotting, hopping, making me laugh all day long. Cute kitty is cute.
First day came to live with me., Sept 2019. Not quite three months old. Second one is from this past April. Not quite six years old. I miss teeny and cute. She used to sleep under my chin. Now that would kill me from suffocation, I think.
Had a bit of a wobbly last evening. Going through things to get ready to move, was doing books. Practically first one in the pile was The Boston Globe Cookbook for Brides, a book I bought back in the late 60’s, when we first moved to New England. Wow. Back when I was a person, when I had a family, when I had a real life. Made me really sad for a bit, that the life that was is gone and will never return. There are a few other really old books that I had way back then, a couple I bought when I was a teenager in Colorado. Then there was the box of old journals. Should not have read any of them. A couple in particular were really bad, I had not realized how depressed I had been for so many years after my husband left. I always think I am fine and doing well, but apparently I delude myself. Was kind of upsetting, too, to read about things I had forgotten. Treatment by ‘friends’, and even by my children. I remember the treatment by my husband, but had blacked out the other things.
My husband used to say how ‘understanding’ I was, but what that really means is how gullible I was, and how easy it was to convince me that everything was my fault. ‘Understanding’ is double speak for letting yourself be treated badly because if you make waves about it, people will leave you or stop being your ‘friend’ or whatever. I will say, growing up in survival mode really does a number on your mental well-being.
A lot of it, too, was how hard being on the spectrum, which I had never known I was until a few years ago, makes life. Always being confused, and never understanding what you are doing wrong and all the other things that come with Asperger’s. I get it now. I can look back and see how it explains this or that, but living through it at the time without having any idea what was going on, that was really hard and painful and confusing.
I was really appalled to read about how one of my ‘best friends’ has treated me over the years. I always tell myself that I have my own issues with people, so be tolerant of others. But it still hurts. I am a very ‘in the moment’ person. I think the Aspergers contributes to that. On good days, I forget there are bad days, and vice versa. I don’t hold grudges normally, because I tend to forget things that happened, or block them out. But I have always had some underlying anger about how I have been treated. And then, I say I probably treat them as badly in my own way. Excuses. Explanations. Whatever. Life on the spectrum is not easy, and I have always wished I could be like ‘normal’ people, even if I didn’t really understand what that meant. Yes, I am a basket case. LOL But thing are better now, and I think I have a pretty good life. So.
Against stupidity we are defenseless. Neither protests nor the use of force accomplish anything here; reasons fall on deaf ears; facts that contradict one’s prejudgment simply need not be believed – in such moments the stupid person even becomes critical – and when facts are irrefutable they are just pushed aside as inconsequential, as incidental. In all this the stupid person, in contrast to the malicious one, is utterly self satisfied and, being easily irritated, becomes dangerous by going on the attack. For that reason, greater caution is called for when dealing with a stupid person than with a malicious one. Never again will we try to persuade the stupid person with reasons, for it is senseless and dangerous.” ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison
The proof is here: A video on YouTube. TikTokers Expose the Sad Reality of Having Braindead MAGA Parents The Humanist Report
And for those of you who say they didn’t know who they were voting for, here are some shots from the FIRST campaign.
Had my bone scan, had my covid shot, had a lovely, lovely day being outside in the gorgeous autumn weather. Clear, sunny, low 60’sF, bit of a breeze blowing in my hair. It was just fantastic. October is my favorite month (April is second), and October in New England is just spectacular. So glad we moved here way back when. And my daughter was there doing her superwoman taking care of mom thing. How did I get so fortunate as to have her back in my life right now? Amazing, she is. Truly amazing. So in spite of all the really, really horrific things that the current administration and it’s cult followers are pouring down on us (yes, I went there), there is a lot of good in the world, and a lot of true beauty. Just let yourself find it, see it, hear it. Don’t get so absorbed in all that’s wrong that you miss all that isn’t wrong. Even a perfect cup of coffee is worth celebrating. Never give up, never surrender, but never let yourself be destroyed by not letting yourself see the good in the world. I think it was Mr. Rogers who said that when everything is going to hell (paraphrasing here, Mr. Rogers would never say hell, I”m sure), look for the helpers. Look for the good people out there trying to make things better. There are millions of them. The news only really shows you the bad, because that’s what get ratings and clicks and whatever, but it is not the only story. Let yourself be aware of the good stuff. You won’t regret it, I’m sure.
Upped my prednisone to 10mg, and feeling better, finally. Dr. wanted me to do 15, but no. I’m never getting off this med. Reset my laptop, thought I’d lost some crucial bookmarks, but found them. Trying to clean it all up, because I need to be getting ready to move, assuming I can find a place, and I just am not physically able to do the work needed, and messing about on the laptop does not hurt. Much.
Still appalled at my country, stunned that the orange disaster is destroying the White House, THE WHITE HOUSE, to build himself a gold ballroom while condemning the citizens of the country he is meant to be leading to possible starvation and death through cutting benefits and allowing the US version of the SS or the Gestapo to randomly kidnap and brutalize and torture said citizens. How is this happening? Who can top it? I have no answers or solutions, I am just numb.
Saw a thing where Amazon supposedly wants to replace thousands of workers with AI and robots. Been going on for a long time, where people are being replaced by machines. My question is, if machines put everyone out of work. how is anyone going to be able to buy your product anyway? No income, no purchasing. Seems like a self-defeating move, but then I never understood the foreclosing homes to let them rot business model, either, but I think there is some way this benefits the foreclosers financially and I don’t understand how that works at all. Oh, well. What a world. What a world.
Here’s the opposite story, though. With apologies because I don’t have the book in front of me, so I may get some details wrong, but I read this “Irena’s Children“ by Tilar J. Mazzeo.
Irena lived in Warsaw during the Nazi occupation, and dedicated her life to rescuing Jewish children from the Ghetto, and her story is complicated in a lot of ways but – well, this story isn’t actually about Irena, per se.
It’s about a bus driver.
It’s about a day when she’s traveling across town by bus with a very young Jewish child, and partway to their destination the child looks up and asks a question – in Yiddish. and the whole bus goes quiet, because everyone knows what that means. And Irena thinks, okay, we’re going to die here today.
And she’s running through her options – all of them bad – and suddenly the bus stops, and the bus driver announces that there’s been a mechanical failure and the bus needs to return to the depot immediately. Everyone off, please.
And she stands and goes to get off the bus and the driver says – not you two. Sit down. So she sits down as everyone else leaves, because, well, what else is she going to do? the options are all still bad, at this point.
and when the bus is empty the bus driver says,
“Where do you need to go?”
And then he drives them as close to their destination as he can, and lets them off, and drives away. And Irena lives, and the kid lives, and they never cross paths again.
So a janitor got three people killed, and a bus driver saved two lives – not to mention all the other lives indirectly saved because Irena was able to continue her work.
I think about that almost every day now, to be honest.
We can’t all be Irena. I couldn’t be Irena. She was in a unique place with very specific skills and connections that let her do what she did. I am just one mentally ill librarian. I can’t be her. But – I can be the bus driver. Or I could be the janitor. Because it doesn’t matter what your job is. It doesn’t matter who you are. In a world like this, every single one of us has the opportunity to do massive harm or massive good. We can save lives or end them.
And that’s scary. but it’s also very comforting? at least for me. Because at the end of the day it means this: no matter of how small and helpless and unimportant you feel, you’re never powerless in the face of great evil.
You can choose to be the bus driver.
THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART, I THINK
We can’t all be Irena. I couldn’t be Irena. She was in a unique place with very specific skills and connections that let her do what she did. I am just one mentally ill librarian. I can’t be her. But – I can be the bus driver. Or I could be the janitor. Because it doesn’t matter what your job is. It doesn’t matter who you are. In a world like this, every single one of us has the opportunity to do massive harm or massive good. We can save lives or end them.
And that’s scary. but it’s also very comforting? at least for me. Because at the end of the day it means this: no matter of how small and helpless and unimportant you feel, you’re never powerless in the face of great evil.
My favorite month. I love the colors, the dry leaves to crunch through, the cool temps, the sky in the evening. Been a long day, so not a lot to say because I am just too tired to think, but happy October, everyone.
He has given them permission to do these things and worse. To be the worst versions of themselves, and they seem to be reveling in it. I am truly ashamed of my fellow countrymen.
It’s part of a longer quote, but this is my new favorite insult:
“You’re the reason shampoo bottles have instructions.”
I have been struggling with pain and fatigue like never before, but got a change in my meds and am slowly improving. Hoping to start blogging again soon. 🙂
Seriously, after having been in an ambulance twice in my life, and in hospital 4 times, two of them for childbirth, this year along I have been in an ambulance and in hospital four times. Four. February had the major bleed requiring transfusions, April had covid (no ambo, no hospital), June had TIA, and now, August, had two stays,one Tuesday for several hours, and again Wednesday for three days. Worse pain of my life. Actual screaming in ER. Tuesday was in agony for 4 or 5 hours til they tried Haldol, which eased the pain. Tried Taradol and Morphine to no results. So home I go, thinking it must be the PMR. Had x-ray and ultrasound with nothing showing in the shoulder. Wed night startup again 10:30 pm. Ambo, Er, several hours of agony, finally tried oxycotone (sp) which helped. MRI showed severe rotator cuff tear. Home Friday evening, much better, but being extremely cautious with arm movement, because barely enough oxy to last til I see the surgeon on the 22nd. Fun times, people. Fun times.
Actually, there was some fun. and not. The not is when a doctor told me she was getting me some pain meds and never returned, nor did anyone else with pain meds. Then same doctor asked me to stop screaming because I was scaring people. Seriously? That was the only bad parts, except for hours of the worst pain of my life. Thursday kitchen guy came to get my lunch order. I picked fish, mashed pots, and do I want gravy with that? Sure, might as well go all the way. He says, ‘When in Rome’, stopped briefly and started laughing. “Cracked myself up’, he says. We both were hysterical by then. Next day he comes back, asks me something, gets that look. I say, ‘You are going to start laughing again, aren’t you?’ and we both did. It was really funny. Then I had a lovely walk and funny chat with guy from rehab. So overall, except for that one doctor and the horrific pain, it was not a bad experience at all. We are lucky to have a really good hospital where I live. Also my Mass Health insurance co called me to check on how I am doing and see what I need. Really. I have Tufts and cannot be happier that I dropped that horrid United Health a while back.
Hot and muggy and ick, but the three weeks of workmen installing the new central air was so worth it. Nice in here. Enjoying my new Samsung tv. So much nicer than my old one. And bigger. And cheaper. Forgot the brand already, but starts with a V. Vizio,I think. My cognitive abilities have taken a real hit, I think (hope) down to the pain and stress. Wed before the pain reappeared, I was def having a traumatic experience reaction to the Tuesday pain. i would not even wish that kind of pain on the people/person I despise the most. The one I am thinking of particularly is orange, btw.
So being very, very tired, almost too tired to even read my Kindle, but I guess my body is doing some recovery from that experience. Fortunately, DD is here and taking excellent care of me. Putting on the lidocaine patches, making sure I take my meds, making sure I get my meals. Would not be able to survive without her help. She turned out really well, so I plan to keep her. 🙂 Later. Stay safe, emigrate if you can.
Here is baby rabbit outside the vet’s office in July.
You resent paying to help other people. Your taxes paid for the food for starving children this administration withheld and then burned. Are you angry about that, as well, or not, because it was not YOUR children who were starving? Good Christian values here. Nope.
My new kindle battery came yesterday, put it in the kindle just now, and it works. IT WORKS. Oh, happy happy happy happy day! Cannot tell you how much I have missed my kindle keyboard. This is my second one actually, the screen on the first one did weird stuff I do not know how to fix. This is what was on it when it died, and this is what is stlll on it now. I am so excited. Screw you, Amazon. With your shit Oasis and touch screens and Buy This Buy That crap. Oh happy day.
strangely peculiar 