HMMM. IT’S AUGUST

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I did know that. Almost missed my friend’s anniversary yesterday, because I am very out-to-lunch mentally lately. Once my therapists stopped coming, I fell into a sort of ‘wtf is the point of anything anyway?’ mentality. Stopped doing everything. Stopped caring. But today, I am a bit back to ‘normal’, I think. It always takes a while to get used to being alone all the time. But I do it, eventually.

Having more pain again, too, and still tired all the time. Apparently it can take months to recover from severe blood loss, and already having a chronic illness does not help with that recovery.

I have been watching movies. Signed up for free trials of some streamers and am watching whatever looked good before the trials are over. There are some good movies out there, in spite of all the Marvel and DC dreck taking up so much space. After Yang, Columbus, Summerland are just a few really good ones I watched. Slow, slow, slow movies. Very little action. Took a bit of adjusting expectations and patience, but worth it. Also watched The Conversation with Gene Hackman, another slow movie, and really weird and did not love it. Whenever I see Gene Hackman, I remember seeing him once on some show, talking about being a small boy and watching his father drive away, leaving the family forever. Broke my heart. You never get over trauma like that. I wondered, as I watched the movie, if his father ever saw him being a famous actor, or did he just forget about his son altogether. Very sad.

We are under yet another heat advisory here in Mass. I have been pretty fortunate in that where I live has foot thick walls and the heat so far has not penetrated them. A couple of fans is all I’ve needed. Only two days did I really notice it was hot and sticky in here. Think of all the money I saved not using the a/c, too. Thinking I might call housing to ask if I can have the filters changed and the ducts cleaned and deduct the cost from the rent. Maybe get the kitchen lights fixed, too, if I can do deducting stuff. Probably not, but I can dream.

Bought a ten pound bag of Blue Buffalo Wilderness no grain no chicken for Miss G, since they have discontinued some of the flavors I was getting and I wanted to get something good for her. This one is salmon, venison, halibut. No duck or pheasant or rabbit or any of the other things I used to get. Fish. Oh, well. No grain and no chicken is important, I think.

I have been a bit unfocused, along with everything else. Can’t think what to do next, or what needs doing. Want to do a grocery order, but just looking at all the choices, my brain says it’s time for a rest break. Lots of reading going on. Some weird books out there. There was a free amazon download a while back, and some of those books I would never have chosen, but turned out to be pretty good or at least interesting. Don’t know where I’d be if I couldn’t read. It fills all the time I am in pain or too exhausted to move, so I am not just laying here being miserable. Reading is a very good thing. That’s it for now. Be safe, people. Wear your masks.