Little update:  Today would have been my anniversary, if my husband hadn’t left me and then died eight years later.

Gray, gray, gray.  We had a gorgeous gray carpet that you just sunk into.  It was heaven.  I hated it.  I just felt so depressed all the time, we finally gave it to a friend.  Gray and I are not compatible, Mother Nature.  Come on!

I don’t do well just being alone.  Except for my homemaker three hours a week, and Tess taking me to the Stop & Shop on Friday, I have been alone since last week some time.  A good week or more  i know it’s all in my head, but I have a hard time fighting it.  I keep checking my phone to see if any one I actually know has emailed me, and except for Tess almost every day, there is no one.  No one calls or emails to see if I’m okay, even.  My family.  No one.  Makes one feel quite alone and unloved and isolated, and even though I am an introvert who needs some alone time, too much is just bad news.  Don’t know how to fix it. “Go out”  Where?  How?  Even if I could walk any distance, there’s no place to go.  My life has gotten very small in the time I’ve lived here, and keeps getting smaller all the time.  Just have to live with it, and not give in. Never Give Up, Never
Surrender.  I’m trying.  Seriously, I am.

Sad Jean Is sad.