>
Not sure what, exactly, but I have been more depressed lately, feeling sad a lot. Maybe it’s realizing that I may never find out what happened to my brother, that most of my family is missing or dead, just being alone a lot again lately, more pain, nothing on tv, any reason I can think of. I just feel sad a lot. Maybe I’m frightened. I seem to be losing more mobility as time goes on. It’s getting harder to do the things I want/need to do. Maybe I’ve been better for so long that I’ve forgotten that sometimes life is like this with illness. I don’t know. I just want to feel better, physically and emotionally. I want to not be in pain all the time. I want my garden back, my life back. I guess I just want to feel sorry for myself today. So I am. I’ll be better tomorrow.