I have run a thousand comments on the murder in my head, but have not been able to just sit down and write them. There are posts on Tumblr complaining that it is only a big deal because it was a white woman. I disagree, and this is what I wanted to reply, but decided to put it here instead.

“I think it’s the video. Most people killed by ICE or law enforcement are not done so on video that the rest of us can watch and see the horror. It makes it much more real than just reading about it. To see a man, any man, murder another human being, regardless of gender or color or whatever, leaves a mark. Leaves you having to face what you have been reading about and pushing to the back of your mind because what can you do about it? This was truly the most frightening, horrific thing I have ever seen. It truly brings home the inhumanity of our elected leaders. How can you look at the video of a government employee murdering a human being in cold blood in broad daylight in front of witnesses and then see it immediately defended and approved of by your government leaders, and not be terrified? This is only my opinion, but the effect this incident has had on me is something I do not know how to live with.”

I grew up watching world war two movies on tv, and this is so reminiscent of what they portrayed, it is horrifying. Would you ever have thought that the USA, bastion of freedom, light of the world, would become a reincarnation of Nazi Germany? I guess we should have seen it coming. All the signs were there. Our country is systematically, deliberately being destroyed, and the worst part, the most frightening, horrific, unimaginable thing is how many of my fellow citizens are celebrating the fact, and dancing in celebration of murder and destruction of their neighbors. I don’t know how to deal with this.

We are hoping to get a two-bedroom apartment soon. Excitement of moving, maybe having a balcony, packing, preparing. None of it matters now. All we can think about is how our own government officials are defending and approving the cold-blooded, broad daylight murder of one of us. The one the video left no doubt about it being murder. Reading about it, and seeing it happen are not the same thing. It’s not about color, it’s about seeing it happen. It makes an impact that reading about it does not. I am scared. I really am. One of my children inherited the olive skin of her Italian father, and is always nervous about going out in fear of being targeted by ICE. In the United States of America. Land of the free. Home of the brave. All the shit we were spoon-fed our entire lives, all of which were lies. I have no idea what to do. None.