MY YEAR OF RAPID DECREPITIZING

Seriously, after having been in an ambulance twice in my life, and in hospital 4 times, two of them for childbirth, this year along I have been in an ambulance and in hospital four times. Four. February had the major bleed requiring transfusions, April had covid (no ambo, no hospital), June had TIA, and now, August, had two stays,one Tuesday for several hours, and again Wednesday for three days. Worse pain of my life. Actual screaming in ER. Tuesday was in agony for 4 or 5 hours til they tried Haldol, which eased the pain. Tried Taradol and Morphine to no results. So home I go, thinking it must be the PMR. Had x-ray and ultrasound with nothing showing in the shoulder. Wed night startup again 10:30 pm. Ambo, Er, several hours of agony, finally tried oxycotone (sp) which helped. MRI showed severe rotator cuff tear. Home Friday evening, much better, but being extremely cautious with arm movement, because barely enough oxy to last til I see the surgeon on the 22nd. Fun times, people. Fun times.

Actually, there was some fun. and not. The not is when a doctor told me she was getting me some pain meds and never returned, nor did anyone else with pain meds. Then same doctor asked me to stop screaming because I was scaring people. Seriously? That was the only bad parts, except for hours of the worst pain of my life. Thursday kitchen guy came to get my lunch order. I picked fish, mashed pots, and do I want gravy with that? Sure, might as well go all the way. He says, ‘When in Rome’, stopped briefly and started laughing. “Cracked myself up’, he says. We both were hysterical by then. Next day he comes back, asks me something, gets that look. I say, ‘You are going to start laughing again, aren’t you?’ and we both did. It was really funny. Then I had a lovely walk and funny chat with guy from rehab. So overall, except for that one doctor and the horrific pain, it was not a bad experience at all. We are lucky to have a really good hospital where I live. Also my Mass Health insurance co called me to check on how I am doing and see what I need. Really. I have Tufts and cannot be happier that I dropped that horrid United Health a while back.

Hot and muggy and ick, but the three weeks of workmen installing the new central air was so worth it. Nice in here. Enjoying my new Samsung tv. So much nicer than my old one. And bigger. And cheaper. Forgot the brand already, but starts with a V. Vizio,I think. My cognitive abilities have taken a real hit, I think (hope) down to the pain and stress. Wed before the pain reappeared, I was def having a traumatic experience reaction to the Tuesday pain. i would not even wish that kind of pain on the people/person I despise the most. The one I am thinking of particularly is orange, btw.

So being very, very tired, almost too tired to even read my Kindle, but I guess my body is doing some recovery from that experience. Fortunately, DD is here and taking excellent care of me. Putting on the lidocaine patches, making sure I take my meds, making sure I get my meals. Would not be able to survive without her help. She turned out really well, so I plan to keep her. 🙂 Later. Stay safe, emigrate if you can.

Here is baby rabbit outside the vet’s office in July.

I SHOULD NOT GO ONTO SOCIAL MEDIA

I am crazy enough already. But here it is: I am so angry about everything that is happening because of MAGA morons, and because of people who did not bother to vote, that I just want to lash out and say, “I hope it is YOUR mother, sister, daughter who does not get the care they need because you voted for hate or didn’t bother to vote at all.” But I won’t. Right.

voteinorout

On June 3, 2025, the Trump administration formally rescinded a Biden-era CMS guidance that clarified hospitals and emergency departments must provide abortion care when needed to stabilize a patient under EMTALA—regardless of state abortion bans . EMTALA (Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act), passed in 1986, requires any Medicare-funded hospital to deliver a medical screening exam and stabilizing treatment to patients with emergency medical conditions, including pregnant individuals .⁠
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Critics argue that revoking the guidance doesn’t legally change EMTALA, but injects confusion and fear into emergency providers—especially in states with strict abortion bans. As the ACLU put it, removing the guidance “will put lives at risk” by creating “legal chaos” . For example, a federal investigation recently found a Texas hospital violated EMTALA when they discharged a woman with an ectopic pregnancy—leading to delayed care and partial loss of her reproductive system . The Trump administration maintains EMTALA is still enforced for life‑or‑death emergencies—but opponents warn that without clear rules, clinicians may hesitate to treat pregnant patients suffering life‑threatening complications like ectopic pregnancies or severe hemorrhage .⁠
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This isn’t just fear‑mongering: since the 2022 Dobbs decision, at least 478 excess infant deaths have been estimated in states with total abortion bans . The recent policy shift raises the real possibility that women in dire need could be turned away or left untreated in emergencies. Without the Biden guidance, hospitals may choose caution over care—potentially resulting in preventable deaths.⁠”
⁠

The FDA

You know. Food inspections and all. So you don’t die from bad food. I get emails from them about recalls. This month alone, I have received seven (7) of them. I think it’s one of the departments the current administration is trying to get rid of. But they are not doing their jobs, it seems, because I just found this:

https://www.propublica.org/article/propublica-fda-lawsuit-drug-safety

Cannot delete these next two. (little bit of silent screaming going on here)

HELLO

Still here. Still recovering, but slowly getting better. Can shower by myself, put my coat on by myself, do some minor tidying and cleaning, thinking about possibly cooking something. It has been interesting and kind of fun having PT and OT and nurses coming in and out. MIss G has really come out of herself. Weird cat. Sometimes she will be all over a person, and the next time they come she will hide the entire time. I am about done with all of them, though, so it’s back to me and the homemaker once a week. It was good while it lasted. Still having a lot of pain in my arms, but am very slowly decreasing the prednisone dose. Was hoping it was the fix I needed for that particular issue, but apparently not. Everything I’ve read about PMR flares say prednisone is the fix, but not for me. Oh, well.

Have been getting out a lot more than normal, too. DD takes me for walks with the rollator (short walks as I still get tired quickly) and shopping and all. Yesterday we went to TJMaxx. Have not been to TJMaxx in years. I used to love it, and Pier One, too. Quirky things. We went because my bowl has disappeared. I have had glass bowl for years, that I use for four-bean salad, making party mix in the zapper, and it just is not there now. ????? So been trying to find a replacement. I may have, from Walmart. Being delivered today. Anyway, got a set at TJMaxx, turns out it is NOT zapper safe, so returned it and just cruised the aisles. Got the cutest cup ever, and of course, a couple of things for Miss G, because I always get her something.

It’s about twice the size a my regular mug, and is embossed. I just fell in love with it.
She cannot inhale her food with this one. It’s cute, too.
Water. I had a small bowl on top of another bowl. One piece is better, but so easy to spill this one.
And the cutest little mini daffodil. How could I resist?

Another gray day. It’s almost like February in New Hampshire. Gray day every day. Not quite that bad, yesterday was a beautiful sunny day, and there have been others, but too many gray days kind of takes it out of me. House is kind of a mess again. Cannot seem to focus enough to clear off the coffee table of all the pieces of paper and stuff that I accumulate. The declutter process kind of came to an end with the health things going on, and my person has moved on to other things. Oh, got some Almond Butter Lindt Lindor Truffles. Yum. When I lived in NH, there was a Lindt factory up in Exeter that a friend and I used to go to a couple of times a year to stock up. Truffles in the freezer? It’s a good thing. LOL

Okay, I can’t even begin to get into the whole ‘my country has become a fascist oligarchy and we are so screwed’ thing, and I try not to let myself dwell on it to much, but the other day my daughter said she is worried because I say things in public that I probably shouldn’t and she is worried I might be killed for it. Can you imagine? In the United States of America. What have you done, people? What have you done? “The bright day is done, and we are for the dark.” Shakespeare.

MEDICATION

I have had my fair share of medications over the years, most of which have just caused worse problems with their side effects than the issue I was taking them for. There’s a word for that, and I of course cannot think of it right now. I think it starts with the letter i. I mention this because I just came across a book and here’s the brief review: “Bad Pharma exposes the systemic flaws in the pharmaceutical industry, revealing how drug testing is often flawed, research is hidden, doctor education is influenced by pharma, and regulators approve ineffective drugs while concealing side effects. He argues that this complex problem, often hidden from public view, demands greater transparency and regulation to protect patients.”

And an article I found:

https://www.oncnursingnews.com/view/the-treatment-should-not-be-worse-than-the-disease

I may have mentioned that I have a recent genetic mutation that causes my blood to make too many platelets, blood cancer. The oral chemo was devastating, and even though I stopped it on my doctor’s advice months ago, I still have not completely recovered from it. I had a colonoscopy (NEVER doing that again. The stuff you have to drink is the most repulsive thing I have ever been made aware of. OMG.) while I was in the hospital in February.

Anyway, I do not have colon cancer, but I have a weird polyp that is benign, and was ten years ago when I had the last colonoscopy. Back then, they wanted to do some sort of surgery that removes half your innards (hemicolectomy) as a precautionary measure because’ I wouldn’t want to be 80 and have a large cancerous mass in me’, said the surgeon. Well I refused, and now I am 80 and the polyp is still there in the same condition it was ten years ago. I would have been living with the consequences of the surgery for the past ten years for absolutely no reason except surgeons want to cut you. (Sorry, surgeons, but I have had some not great experiences with a few of you.) Never just blindly do what doctors, especially surgeons, want you to subject yourself to. Get several other opinions if possible. I just went with my gut back then. It seems to me that they want to make you miserable now in order to prevent the, in my case less than 5% chance of being miserable sometime in the future. The surgeon I saw this time completely agreed with the ‘do nothing because there is no real problem here’ take I have on it. I like him. Between some not great doctors and the many medications they want you to take, I am sort of over American medicine. I am lucky now that every one of my doctors is really great, caring, pays attention to what I have to say, and discusses things with me, not just tells me what to do. They are out there, you just have to keep trying til you find them, although with health insurance as it is in the country, you are lucky to have a doctor at all, I think. So that’s my rant for today. Recovery is so very slow, and I expected to be much better by now, but I guess losing a lot of blood, especially when you are 80 years old, is really hard on the bod. I am getting better, but it is slow, slow, slow. Anyway.