GOOD EVENING

Posted on May 23, 2025 by excentric

Where have I been? Recovering, resting, vegging, going out shopping with DD, trying so hard not to be consumed by anger and frustration and avoiding as much bad news as I can. It’s hard, but I have to try. I have saved a bunch of things from instagram and elsewhere to share, but not sure if I should make my blog that negative.

Had a lovely nor’easter yesterday. Wind did blow, rain did bang against the windows. One of my favorite weather events. Even better when it’s snow, but it is almost June you know.

Today I did some research and realized I am taking my meds all wrong, so redid my pill holder and hopeful things will work better now. Also reset my alarms to reflect the life I live, instead of the one I wish I was living. Instead of breakfast at 9, it is now at noon. (Nine am is like the middle of my night.) Dinner at 9pm. I usually am awake until 4 or 5 am at the earliest, some days till 8 or 9 am. So breakfast at 9 is almost never on the cards. I have spent the better part of my life trying to go to bed and get up like ‘normal’ people, but it never works. I can maintain maybe a week, than it gradually regresses back to where I am awake almost all night. Doctor says I have delayed sleep disorder, for which there seems to be no fix. So learn to live with it. You would not believe how many things I have ‘learned to live with’. Example. If I felt as bad as I do every day back before I was gifted all these chronic, debilitating painful illnesses, I would be in the ER constantly. But I have learned to live with them. Sort of.

Right now I am having a ciabatta roll (I have discovered I absolutely love ciabatta bread) with hummus for dinner. And a nice Zinfandel DD brought for me to try. I have lucked out in the kid lottery. My two are absolutely fantastic and amazing. The one who lives here in New England is taking super care of me, driving me where I need to go, taking me shopping, putting the groceries away, rearranging everything to make it easier for me to manage. I think I will keep her. 🙂 The one who lives in New Mexico has a fantastic job where she is loved and appreciated and doing good for others. I am so proud of them both. Wish their dad was still here to see how well they turned out. He would be proud, too. We did good, I think.

Miss G has been way more active lately. I think she was bored to tears, poor baby, but recently more people have been in and out, and she seems to be quite liking that. Here she is recently. Cute kitty is cute. Enjoy your lives, people. You only get one, make it count.

WELL, DRAT!

Posted on April 24, 2025 by excentric

I have to apologize to the MAGA morons, because it was a mistake my DD and I made in applying for a home aide. We accidentally applied for nursing home care, and when we realized and withdrew that, it cancelled Mass Health altogether. So I had to reapply,but did it over the phone so was pretty easy. Will be covered again in about three weeks, I was told. So I guess I can’t blame the orange nazi for this. Oh, well. 🙂 But let me tell you, and paperwork you have to do when you are old and or disabled or whatever is unbelievably confusing. They asked us the same questions several different times in the paper work, each one worded slightly differently. Trying to trip us up? It worked. LOL

i JUST CANNOT CATCH A BREAK

Posted on April 23, 2025 by excentric

Just found out I am no longer eligible for Mass Health. No idea why, except I was told this was another of the orange traitor’s things. Need to call tomorrow and see if this was a mistake, but I don’t think so. Now what? I cannot afford all the copays, all the extras. I will have to stop getting health care, I guess. Thank you again, MAGA morons. I, and thousands like me, mean nothing to you, I guess. I can only hope that you and your MAGA loved ones lose everything, too.

COVID

Posted on April 16, 2025 by excentric

Yes, I got it. Pretty sure it’s from the occupational therapist, as none of the health care people mask, even though I do. She even offered to come for another appointment while I was actively positive. Sheesh! Took the paxlovid and am still taking tylenol and mucinex. Very tired, but not much coughing or anything. Unlike last time I was sick. Did not know about covid then, but pretty sure that’s what I had. So I have been resting, trying to eat three meals to keep up strength on advice of doctor. Ready meals, Saffron Road and Deep asian frozen meals, which are quite nice, oatmeal, ensure. All the good stuff that does not need me to do more than open a box and shove contents into zapper or toaster oven. Yay.

Homemaker back today, too. She works in our local hospital, too, so is well versed in precautions, but I did not have her come while I was still positive. Do not want to pass it on the anyone else.

Finally getting some sunny, windows open days, after day following day of gray, gray, gray. We’d better have a butt load of flowers in May, I’m telling you, after so many rainy days.

Have been feeling a little anxious for whatever reason, and last night I dreamed I was having an autistic meltdown (I have Asperger’s, not PC I know, but hey). I am lucky to not be personally affected at the moment by all the shit that is going down, but my DD in New Mexico, who had her father’s Italian olive skin, is quite worried about being stopped by ICE, as is happening to a lot of people where she is. Scary times, and I will never forgive or make allowances for the f-ing morons who voted for this.

APRIL IS HERE

Posted on April 1, 2025 by excentric

One of my favorite months. My birth month, too, but April showers bring May flowers, and

It’s a beautiful, if chilly, sunshiny day. I have my last (I think) OT today. Done with health aide, done with PT, done with nurse. Still get tired, still get a bit out of breath here and there, still with the pain, which is the one constant in my life. There is always pain. But things are looking up, I found a new bowl which is better than the old bowl that disappeared. How do things just vanish? Glass bowls are great for zapping things, like party mix, or for making four bean salad in, and a lot of other uses where I just prefer glass. I had that other bowl for decades, literally, and was really upset when I realized it no longer lived here. Did it run away from home? Little stick with hanky with it’s meager possessions in it over it’s shoulder.

That’s the new bowl. No picture of the old bowl. Oh, just had OT. She recommended I ask my Primary Care about seeing an orthopedist. More fun in store for Jean. Yay. But my arms don’t work well, and it’s the PMR or it’s some kind of impingement or it’s any number of things that could be wrong. One thing about having more that one issue is that you can never really be sure exactly which one is causing the particular problem. Okay. Done for now. Trying to post more. I was not in great shape for a while there and did not have much to say except ‘I am so over pain and fatigue and all this crap.’ Better now.

ANOTHER THING

Posted on March 29, 2025 by excentric

My DD said to me is that she thinks I have adhd, and gave several examples of why she thinks that. Thinks I never realized or noticed about myself. I only pretty recently started spending a lot of time with her as she is helping care for me during my recovery, and moved closer to me to do that. I have great kids, btw. I am really starting to see myself differently, and some of it is hard and painful, but it is good to understand yourself better, and why people react to you in different ways. Too little, too late, as is the story of my life, but every thing helps.

HELLO

Posted on March 29, 2025 by excentric

Still here. Still recovering, but slowly getting better. Can shower by myself, put my coat on by myself, do some minor tidying and cleaning, thinking about possibly cooking something. It has been interesting and kind of fun having PT and OT and nurses coming in and out. MIss G has really come out of herself. Weird cat. Sometimes she will be all over a person, and the next time they come she will hide the entire time. I am about done with all of them, though, so it’s back to me and the homemaker once a week. It was good while it lasted. Still having a lot of pain in my arms, but am very slowly decreasing the prednisone dose. Was hoping it was the fix I needed for that particular issue, but apparently not. Everything I’ve read about PMR flares say prednisone is the fix, but not for me. Oh, well.

Have been getting out a lot more than normal, too. DD takes me for walks with the rollator (short walks as I still get tired quickly) and shopping and all. Yesterday we went to TJMaxx. Have not been to TJMaxx in years. I used to love it, and Pier One, too. Quirky things. We went because my bowl has disappeared. I have had glass bowl for years, that I use for four-bean salad, making party mix in the zapper, and it just is not there now. ????? So been trying to find a replacement. I may have, from Walmart. Being delivered today. Anyway, got a set at TJMaxx, turns out it is NOT zapper safe, so returned it and just cruised the aisles. Got the cutest cup ever, and of course, a couple of things for Miss G, because I always get her something.

It’s about twice the size a my regular mug, and is embossed. I just fell in love with it.

She cannot inhale her food with this one. It’s cute, too.

Water. I had a small bowl on top of another bowl. One piece is better, but so easy to spill this one.

And the cutest little mini daffodil. How could I resist?

Another gray day. It’s almost like February in New Hampshire. Gray day every day. Not quite that bad, yesterday was a beautiful sunny day, and there have been others, but too many gray days kind of takes it out of me. House is kind of a mess again. Cannot seem to focus enough to clear off the coffee table of all the pieces of paper and stuff that I accumulate. The declutter process kind of came to an end with the health things going on, and my person has moved on to other things. Oh, got some Almond Butter Lindt Lindor Truffles. Yum. When I lived in NH, there was a Lindt factory up in Exeter that a friend and I used to go to a couple of times a year to stock up. Truffles in the freezer? It’s a good thing. LOL

Okay, I can’t even begin to get into the whole ‘my country has become a fascist oligarchy and we are so screwed’ thing, and I try not to let myself dwell on it to much, but the other day my daughter said she is worried because I say things in public that I probably shouldn’t and she is worried I might be killed for it. Can you imagine? In the United States of America. What have you done, people? What have you done? “The bright day is done, and we are for the dark.” Shakespeare.

DON’T TELL ME YOU DIDN’T KNOW

Posted on March 22, 2025 by excentric

These are all from the last time around,

MEDICATION

Posted on March 22, 2025 by excentric

I have had my fair share of medications over the years, most of which have just caused worse problems with their side effects than the issue I was taking them for. There’s a word for that, and I of course cannot think of it right now. I think it starts with the letter i. I mention this because I just came across a book and here’s the brief review: “Bad Pharma exposes the systemic flaws in the pharmaceutical industry, revealing how drug testing is often flawed, research is hidden, doctor education is influenced by pharma, and regulators approve ineffective drugs while concealing side effects. He argues that this complex problem, often hidden from public view, demands greater transparency and regulation to protect patients.”

And an article I found:

https://www.oncnursingnews.com/view/the-treatment-should-not-be-worse-than-the-disease

I may have mentioned that I have a recent genetic mutation that causes my blood to make too many platelets, blood cancer. The oral chemo was devastating, and even though I stopped it on my doctor’s advice months ago, I still have not completely recovered from it. I had a colonoscopy (NEVER doing that again. The stuff you have to drink is the most repulsive thing I have ever been made aware of. OMG.) while I was in the hospital in February.

Anyway, I do not have colon cancer, but I have a weird polyp that is benign, and was ten years ago when I had the last colonoscopy. Back then, they wanted to do some sort of surgery that removes half your innards (hemicolectomy) as a precautionary measure because’ I wouldn’t want to be 80 and have a large cancerous mass in me’, said the surgeon. Well I refused, and now I am 80 and the polyp is still there in the same condition it was ten years ago. I would have been living with the consequences of the surgery for the past ten years for absolutely no reason except surgeons want to cut you. (Sorry, surgeons, but I have had some not great experiences with a few of you.) Never just blindly do what doctors, especially surgeons, want you to subject yourself to. Get several other opinions if possible. I just went with my gut back then. It seems to me that they want to make you miserable now in order to prevent the, in my case less than 5% chance of being miserable sometime in the future. The surgeon I saw this time completely agreed with the ‘do nothing because there is no real problem here’ take I have on it. I like him. Between some not great doctors and the many medications they want you to take, I am sort of over American medicine. I am lucky now that every one of my doctors is really great, caring, pays attention to what I have to say, and discusses things with me, not just tells me what to do. They are out there, you just have to keep trying til you find them, although with health insurance as it is in the country, you are lucky to have a doctor at all, I think. So that’s my rant for today. Recovery is so very slow, and I expected to be much better by now, but I guess losing a lot of blood, especially when you are 80 years old, is really hard on the bod. I am getting better, but it is slow, slow, slow. Anyway.

WATCH THIS

Posted on March 14, 2025 by excentric

https://www.msnbc.com/rachel-maddow/watch/outrage-and-exposure-halts-trump-s-plans-for-social-security-service-cuts-234284101934

HERE’S SOMETHING GOOD

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FOUND THIS ON TUMBLR

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ELECTED

Posted on March 14, 2025 by excentric

Doesn’t being an elected official, President, Senator, Congressman, etc. imply that you can also be UNelected?

MY NEW FAVORITE QUOTE

Posted on March 6, 2025 by excentric

“Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of leaders…and millions have been killed because of this obedience…Our problem is that people are obedient allover the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves… (and) the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.” ― Howard Zinn