to what is wrong with us, I think, a quote from the New York Times article by Margaret Renkl: “Media and political figures alike profit when we are angry or afraid.” This also makes it much easier to divide and conquer, which is exactly what they are doing, in case you haven’t noticed. “The meaning of DIVIDE AND CONQUER is to make a group of people disagree and fight with one another so that they will not join together against one.”

On the bright side, today is the Solstice. The ORIGINAL mid-winter celebration. The days will slowly begin to lengthen now, as we are ‘marching towards spring’, a quote from something I read a long time ago but have forgotten.

Also, could somebody cook this for me and deliver it, please.

We got a new maintenance manager. I heard a drip in the bathroom, and a couple of hours later my favorite Neil the plumber came. Drip had stopped, but he fixed shower drip, toilet (did not know it needed fixing) and bought and installed a new garbage disposal. Woo Hoo. Happy Jean is happy.

So today, the maintenance manager called to see how it went. We had a lovely convo, and I mentioned that my kitchen lights have not worked in a few years, and no once has changed the central air filter since way before the pandemic, and no one has cleaned the system for several years before that. Which is why I am using my electric fire place and a space heater instead of the central heating. Fire hazard, I’m told. So she is looking into both items. If no one has cleaned my system, I can imagine no one has cleaned any others in the building either. Some landlords are more on top of things than others. The first few years I lived here, people came and did these things twice yearly. But the building has been sold several times since and all the maintenance sort of fell by the wayside.

Anyway, I am happy things are finally going to get done. I hope.

My high dose prednisone, which I thought was going to make me better, only did for one really good day, then back to the miseries. I do have an official diagnosis, polymyalgia rheumatica, and the issue in my head could be temporal arteritis, which goes along with that, so I am having an ultrasound soon and then possibly biopsies depending on what the ultrasound show. It just never ends, but hey, you just have to play the hand your dealt and get on with it the best you can. And basically, I have a very good life, so can’t really complain (too much, whiny Jean does get whiny sometimes).

It is raining, raining, raining for the second time in a couple of weeks. This should be snow, Mother Nature. It is December. Global warming at work. Bah.

I got free Grubhub with Prime, and I ordered in KFC. Have not had KFC in years and years. What can I say about it? The coleslaw is good. Oh, well.

Yes, I have totes lost my marbles. LOL Saw the rheumatologist yesterday, and yes I officially have Polymalgia Rheumatica, an inflammatory disease and am now on another course of high-dose prednisone. Prednisone is a very bad drug, but it is also a very good drug and I am hopeful that in a few days I will be a functioning human being again. I am also going to have biopsies to see if the problem that has been ongoing in my head for several years now is Temporal Arteritis. I had the tests way back when I first got sick, before they settled on fibromyalgia as a diagnosis, and I did not have TA then. But it is looking pretty likely now. My vision has been getting worse almost daily, and TA causes blindness if left untreated, so thank you very much for nothing, past doctors.

I cannot stress how important it is to find a good doctor. Or how hard. But after years of telling various doctors that ‘something is wrong in my head’, and being dismissed or given another pill, I finally have three doctors who actually care what is happening to me and are trying to do something about it. All are female by the way, but the worst doctor I have had in my entire life was also female, so that isn’t a good criteria to go by. But finally, I am feeling hopeful, and thinking of all the things I want to do and get done when I am a real human being again. For however long that lasts. BTW, looking for an image of a good doctor, I got an entire page of pictures of The Good Doctor, the tv show. Not the same thing, Duck Duck Go.

Also, I dumped Twitter. It was hard, but if I keep using it, that means I am supporting that disgusting excuse for a human being, Elon Musk, who supports that even more disgusting excuse for a human being, the Orange Disgrace, and if you don’t know who that is, where on earth have you been? It’s hard to follow your conscience, and in some countries doing that can mean prison or death, which makes it even more important to do it here in the US. Embrace the freedom we have to disagree, and to speak up. Those Fascists, and all the Republicans who either are fascists or support them, want us to live like those other countries. Want us to be jailed or murdered for speaking out. Want us to live like a third-world country under a fascist dictator. Why? What is wrong with us? Mass insanity caused by too much sugar in every single food we eat that isn’t a raw ingredient that we have cooked ourselves? (And that’s a whole nother issue, btw.) I don’t know, and I don’t know what to do about it, but it gets harder every day to see what is going on in this country, to take in that this is my fellow citizens doing these things, and supporting those who are doing these things, and it is very, very scary.

But, I am now going to get better, I think, so it’s all looking up, just a bit.

I have been thinking and thinking about dumping it, but there are some people I follow who I would really miss. BUT, I guess I have to follow what I stand for, which is apparently nothing Musk and his ilk stand for, and say goodbye. This is going to hurt.

But no snow. It is cold, though. 38 degrees. Brrrr.

I am feeling rather discombobulated, like I cannot think clearly. Trying to do a grocery order and oh, my. I managed in the end, but it took awhile. My local Stop&Shop has NO half and half, no light cream. What the heck? Did the milk truck lose a wheel, or the horse just decided not to go anywhere today? What?

Am wishing I could put up some Christmas decorations, but the last time I did was the Christmas before Gertrude, 2018. The next year Miss Destructo was running rampant, pulling everything off the walls, knocking everything off of every surface. She is a bit better this year, but I do not trust her AT ALL. Good thing she’s cute.

Watching the squirrels on a vid I found for cats. This lasted 0.2 seconds or so (little Torchwood reference there). That’s her most favorite thing ever, the tunnel. She hides in it. That’s her rug and toy basket, too. Cat is better off than I am.

Nobody tell her that her butt sticks out, okay? Happy December, everyone.

It was 57F earlier. It is 55 now. I want snow.

From the NYTIMES:

With Federal Aid on the Table, Utilities Shift to Embrace Climate Goals

As billions in government subsidies were at stake, the electric utility industry shed its opposition to clean-air regulation and put its lobbying muscle behind passing President Biden’s climate bill.

Which proves the point that money is the only thing that matters in this country. An example: I just discovered that my health subsidy plan covers copays, which I have been paying a lot of this year, 50 dollars every time. Those who have charged me are supposed to know this, and the subsidy payment should be automatic, but now I have to call everyone I have paid and tell them this and ask to be reimbursed, which the person I talked to said they may refuse to do. This is doctor’s offices. So my medicare advantage plan seems to be getting double payment if the subsidy is actual paying them, too. I am not irate Not even. I did not go to the recommended physical therapy session because they are a 40 dollar copay each time and come on, people. I am running up my credit card debt at the speed of light.

On the other hand, my new doctor is literally the best doctor I have ever had. She is like a physician/therapist in one person. Yesterday she recommended a book which I think explains how stress and unresolved issues from the past can cause pain in certain areas of the body. Like the left side of my head, which I have had x-rays and cat scans and there is nothing there to cause the pain I have.

I am applying for help paying for phone and internet. The government has a program for that. Go ahead, vote Republican, ruin it for those of us who have working brains and common sense. Anyway, my brain, which was in top form yesterday, cannot cope with the digital paperwork today. Oh, well.

So weird life is weird. In general, my body is not working at all well, but overall, I am feeling better mentally than I have in years. Ta Da. That is all.

Here’s a headline:

Aren’t conservatives members of the party that is so very obviously pro-Nazi. Hypocrites all.

There is so much about this day that most of us were unaware of, growing up, and I did a search and came up with some disturbing facts, but right now, I just want to eat my turkey dinner ready-meal from Shaw’s, and enjoy the sunshiny day. There’s a pretty good article on Forbes https://www.forbes.com/sites/maiahoskin/2022/11/24/the-real-history-behind-thanksgiving/ if you’re interested. Hope it’s a good day for all who celebrate, and not too distressing for the rest of us.

was a good day. I got to go out.

Took an Aleve. First time since before bleed, since was told that might have been a contributing factor. So far all good. Tess put a towel on the car seat, just in case, though. She is so weird. LOL

I will say that nothing went well. NOTHING. First to the bank to replace my card because the chip quit working. Since I don’t have a driver’s license or picture ID that isn’t 20 years old, the bank person had to go through hoops to get me the new card, which took a lot longer than you’d think, but she very kindly was determined to get me a new card. Which works. So thank you bank lady. I have a great bank anyway. It’s a local bank, and is much better and nicer and less expensive for things than the big banks I dealt with in the past. So yay.

Then we went to Joanne’s. Again issues with this, issues with that, everything took ten times as long as needed. But in the end I got a Butterfinger, cause by then I was starving. Also, Joanne’s is ridiculously over-priced, even more than it used to be.

Then we went to Target to return the disaster of a laptop I bought last week. Did not have the right number for the return, but the guy was able to use my credit card to get the refund anyway, so it did work out. By now, I can barely walk even hanging off the shopping cart, but it was fun. Got a couple things I needed there, too, so that was good.

THEN we went to Bed, Bath and Beyond cause the saleswoman at Target said they had much better neck massagers there and I really wanted to get one since my neck and shoulders have been causing me some serious pain since this whole health debacle started in August. Got a new checker, I did warn him it wasn’t going to go well, which it didn’t, but got everything in the end. And I made him laugh, which is always an excellent thing.

Next was stop off at Dunkin’s, cause starving Jean was not going to have enough energy to do any food prep. Got a sourdough breakfast sandwich, which isn’t horrible. Not saying it’s good, rather tasteless, but not horrible (inedible). And no issues there. So home at last, totally exhausted, but happy. Happy Jean is happy. We unboxed the neck thing, which kind of drapes over your shoulders and goes up your neck and is like a heavy-ish really soft vest. It plugs in. Cannot wait to use it.

So good day. Good friend to put up with slow, whiny, miserable, ever-so-slightly insane Jean who was laughing hysterically through a lot of this. I am very lucky in my friends. And Gertrude was happy to see us back and quite enjoyed sniffing every single thing I bought.

Oh, also, in between bright sun here and there, we had a very brief spate of sleet. Little round knobs of snow. It was so cool. No pun intended. LOL Winter!!! It’s a good thing.

Crap. I have been having a very not good time for some time, and I have seen the doctor, the rheumatologist, the neurologist, am having a cat scan and x-rays and I can’t think, I can barely walk some times or stand and anything more than feeding the cat and scooping the litter box and stuffing something in the microwave seems to be beyond me. So I am in a foul, foul mood. Sorry about that.

So there’s a fun article from the New York Times, but you probably need a subscription to read it, so I’ll summarize. 1. We Are Screwed. 2. We Are The Ones Who Screwed Us.

They have been telling us for decades, literal decades what was going to happen if we didn’t change the way we do things, but we decided the current profit mattered more than future survivability for us and more so, for our children. God, I hate humanity.

Sorry. I will be bright and cheery again someday. I hope. Not looking good right now, though.

People, especially people a lot younger than I am, stepped up. They voted for freedom, women’s rights, LGBTQ rights, they voted for us. I am so proud and so relieved. I was a bit afraid to check results, but it’s okay. It’s okay. Thanks to each and every person who voted Blue.

This was on Tumblr. No credit I could see. This is why they love the orange disgrace. He gave then permission to hate, hate, hate. Disgusting.

And I didn’t post once in October. I have been really struggling, with an issue in my head and a whole-body pain and exhaustion that is NOT fibromyalgia. Seeing my rheumatologist next week, and a neurologist in a couple of weeks. Hope someone has some answers. I am almost completely incapacitated. I cannot cook, or wash dishes or do much of anything, and walking involves leaning on my cane with both hands. Fun times. Am taking a different antibiotic that is helping with some of the head problem, but the underlying issue seems not to be an infection. Having a cat scan soon, too.

But I am still managing to enjoy life. Messing about on the laptop, watching streaming stuff, and reading, reading, reading. Have read several books in the past couple of weeks and have a ton more on my kindle. I love my kindle. It’s an old keyboard one that has side clickers. Just my stuff. No pictures, and whatever else that crap is on the new kindles. Just a list of my books to click on. Why did they change that? I am dreading when my two keyboard kindles die. I will have to find someone to refurbish them. Newer isn’t always better, Kindle.

Anyway, we seem to be having summer temps again. Weird. Tell me there’s no such thing as climate change. I can see it everyday. Oh, well.

I am really hoping this will be the last time change. What is wrong with just normal time? The morons in charge want DST to last year round. I would rather have more light in the morning. I remember going to school in the dark. No thanks.

Anyway, I am back, I hope, moaning and groaning and whining about the idiocy around me. Please vote them out, readers. Please. They are destroying our country and taking away all our freedoms and supports. We need to change things before it’s too late. While we still CAN vote. Please, do your bit. Thank you.

Another time, my dad gave 50 bucks to a guy who said he needed to buy medicine for his kids. I told my dad he was probably going to spend the money on alcohol or something, but my dad said that “whether he was lying or not says something about HIS character, but hearing someone in need and choosing not to help when I have the means to says something about mine”.

“WHETHER HE WAS LYING OR NOT SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT HIS CHARACTER, BUT HEARING SOMEONE IN NEED AND CHOOSING NOT TO HELP WHEN I HAVE THE MEANS TO SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT MINE”

Are not having a good relationship. I did an order a couple of weeks(?) ago that was not delivered because lack of drivers. Seriously? Did an order yesterday, confusing screw-up, wound up getting a refund and the order (good customer service, anyway), and I signed up for the free Paramount + you can get with Walmart+, which I have. Went to watch something. None of the videos I selected are available. None. WTF? I guess it’s true you get what you pay for. I paid nothing, and I got nothing. Sheesh, Walmart.

On the other hand, I have ordered twice from Target with their Shipt thing, and got both orders within a couple of hours. There was a problem with one thing I wanted not being available, and had a very nice phone conversation with the shopper who told me exactly what was there to be had (it was a dry erase board) and I picked a replacement.

Walmart needs to seriously up their game, delivery-wise. Their everyday low prices are not really that low, either.

It has gone from hot and sticky to OMG I am freezing. It got down to 41 last night, according to my phone. Blankets. Long sleeves. Hot drinks. Fireplaces. Happy days are here again. LOLOL

Had to close the living room window because cold north wind was blowing straight in. Brrr. Bad day yesterday, better day today. No idea why, but not complaining. Signed up for Paramount + through Walmart + and am picking shows to watch. Scrolling around, suddenly there is Tom Cavanagh, on an old Smithsonian show about the museum. Well, I would watch Tom Cavanagh read the phone book, as they say, so am going to learn about The Smithsonian. Yay, I think.

So I mentioned yesterday was not a great day, and last night I was thinking about my life and it occurred to me that I don’t have a future anymore. Don’t need to buy new things, the old pots and pans are fine, so is the old phone, etc. Kind of hit me where I live. Of course, I was beginning to feel like I am never going to get any better, and this is my life from now on, barely able to shove something in the microwave for dinner, and hobbling around hanging onto my cane with two hands. Then today, here I am, much better. Life is weird.

Have my Caramelldansen channel playing on Pandora, which always helps my mood. Fast music, with a strong beat, lots of Imagine Dragons. It’s all good. So better day, and I think cold weather and sunny days help a lot. Be safe people. I still wear my mask around people every time. I have enough to cope with already, thank you very much. 🙂

Getting worse every day, it seems. Not sure what to do. Call doctor ask for phone consult, make an appointment. Getting places is always an issue. Bah humbug. On the bright side, just discovered my homemaker can shop at Market Basket, which is quite a ways away. It used to be they could only shop at the closet store. This has made me happy.

This is from Bored Panda. America the “great”. Ha.

Very saddened to read she has died. I have long admired her for her courage, her strength, her dignity. Very sad news.

So hoping the hot and stickies will be gone now. We’ll see. I have gone back to 5 mg pred instead of alternative 4/5, in hopes this will help with the pain and exhaustion. It usually takes a week or more to work, but fingers crossed. If it doesn’t help, I will need to see the doctor, because something is going on for sure. But it’s September. Autumn has begun. My favorite season. Apples, winter squash, leaves, cool weather. School supplies. I miss having to buy school supplies.

Ordered some packaged food, the kind you just zap or add water and zap. Cooking is just not happening. I can barely manage to make the coffee or toast an eng muff some days. So over this.

Trees across the street are really hurting. Some dead twigs full of leaves, the rest of the leaves seem to be shriveling up. It has never been this bad in my memory. I read that it may come to doing some sort of in-home rationing, as well as lawns and all. Although how that would be enforced is beyond me. I don’t use a lot of water, especially since showers are getting further and further apart, because too exhausted. Even with a shower seat, it is very exhausting. Not sure why. Laundry goes to the laundromat, but that’s only about twice a month, since I just kind of schlep around in my sleep clothes most of the time. Seersucker pants and a tee shirt. Comfort clothing for the win. Wash the unders by hand, which uses very little water, and don’t have a lot of dishes to be washed, either. I am such a good citizen. Or maybe it’s just that I have no life, so don’t need a lot of resources to get by. 🙂

Hope this autumn goes better for us all than the last several have. Please vote. I know it’s hard, I had to google the people running in my area, cause I only knew anything about those running for higher offices. All offices matter, cause that’s how the fanatics got in. Get elected as dog catcher, work your way up, next thing you know, we have fanatical morons running our country. It matters that you vote, and it really matters who you vote for. Most of us know how to do a web search. It doesn’t take that long to get info on each candidate and where they stand on the issues that matter to you. I use Duck Duck Go, not Google, but it’s easier to say google. LOL Happy Autumn, all of you. Be safe.

If you don’t think global warming is real, check this out.

https://www.boredpanda.com/summer-high-temperature-heatwave-photos/