My DD said to me is that she thinks I have adhd, and gave several examples of why she thinks that. Thinks I never realized or noticed about myself. I only pretty recently started spending a lot of time with her as she is helping care for me during my recovery, and moved closer to me to do that. I have great kids, btw. I am really starting to see myself differently, and some of it is hard and painful, but it is good to understand yourself better, and why people react to you in different ways. Too little, too late, as is the story of my life, but every thing helps.
Still here. Still recovering, but slowly getting better. Can shower by myself, put my coat on by myself, do some minor tidying and cleaning, thinking about possibly cooking something. It has been interesting and kind of fun having PT and OT and nurses coming in and out. MIss G has really come out of herself. Weird cat. Sometimes she will be all over a person, and the next time they come she will hide the entire time. I am about done with all of them, though, so it’s back to me and the homemaker once a week. It was good while it lasted. Still having a lot of pain in my arms, but am very slowly decreasing the prednisone dose. Was hoping it was the fix I needed for that particular issue, but apparently not. Everything I’ve read about PMR flares say prednisone is the fix, but not for me. Oh, well.
Have been getting out a lot more than normal, too. DD takes me for walks with the rollator (short walks as I still get tired quickly) and shopping and all. Yesterday we went to TJMaxx. Have not been to TJMaxx in years. I used to love it, and Pier One, too. Quirky things. We went because my bowl has disappeared. I have had glass bowl for years, that I use for four-bean salad, making party mix in the zapper, and it just is not there now. ????? So been trying to find a replacement. I may have, from Walmart. Being delivered today. Anyway, got a set at TJMaxx, turns out it is NOT zapper safe, so returned it and just cruised the aisles. Got the cutest cup ever, and of course, a couple of things for Miss G, because I always get her something.
It’s about twice the size a my regular mug, and is embossed. I just fell in love with it.She cannot inhale her food with this one. It’s cute, too.Water. I had a small bowl on top of another bowl. One piece is better, but so easy to spill this one. And the cutest little mini daffodil. How could I resist?
Another gray day. It’s almost like February in New Hampshire. Gray day every day. Not quite that bad, yesterday was a beautiful sunny day, and there have been others, but too many gray days kind of takes it out of me. House is kind of a mess again. Cannot seem to focus enough to clear off the coffee table of all the pieces of paper and stuff that I accumulate. The declutter process kind of came to an end with the health things going on, and my person has moved on to other things. Oh, got some Almond Butter Lindt Lindor Truffles. Yum. When I lived in NH, there was a Lindt factory up in Exeter that a friend and I used to go to a couple of times a year to stock up. Truffles in the freezer? It’s a good thing. LOL
Okay, I can’t even begin to get into the whole ‘my country has become a fascist oligarchy and we are so screwed’ thing, and I try not to let myself dwell on it to much, but the other day my daughter said she is worried because I say things in public that I probably shouldn’t and she is worried I might be killed for it. Can you imagine? In the United States of America. What have you done, people? What have you done? “The bright day is done, and we are for the dark.” Shakespeare.
I have had my fair share of medications over the years, most of which have just caused worse problems with their side effects than the issue I was taking them for. There’s a word for that, and I of course cannot think of it right now. I think it starts with the letter i. I mention this because I just came across a book and here’s the brief review: “Bad Pharma exposes the systemic flaws in the pharmaceutical industry, revealing how drug testing is often flawed, research is hidden, doctor education is influenced by pharma, and regulators approve ineffective drugs while concealing side effects. He argues that this complex problem, often hidden from public view, demands greater transparency and regulation to protect patients.”
I may have mentioned that I have a recent genetic mutation that causes my blood to make too many platelets, blood cancer. The oral chemo was devastating, and even though I stopped it on my doctor’s advice months ago, I still have not completely recovered from it. I had a colonoscopy (NEVER doing that again. The stuff you have to drink is the most repulsive thing I have ever been made aware of. OMG.) while I was in the hospital in February.
Anyway, I do not have colon cancer, but I have a weird polyp that is benign, and was ten years ago when I had the last colonoscopy. Back then, they wanted to do some sort of surgery that removes half your innards (hemicolectomy) as a precautionary measure because’ I wouldn’t want to be 80 and have a large cancerous mass in me’, said the surgeon. Well I refused, and now I am 80 and the polyp is still there in the same condition it was ten years ago. I would have been living with the consequences of the surgery for the past ten years for absolutely no reason except surgeons want to cut you. (Sorry, surgeons, but I have had some not great experiences with a few of you.) Never just blindly do what doctors, especially surgeons, want you to subject yourself to. Get several other opinions if possible. I just went with my gut back then. It seems to me that they want to make you miserable now in order to prevent the, in my case less than 5% chance of being miserable sometime in the future. The surgeon I saw this time completely agreed with the ‘do nothing because there is no real problem here’ take I have on it. I like him. Between some not great doctors and the many medications they want you to take, I am sort of over American medicine. I am lucky now that every one of my doctors is really great, caring, pays attention to what I have to say, and discusses things with me, not just tells me what to do. They are out there, you just have to keep trying til you find them, although with health insurance as it is in the country, you are lucky to have a doctor at all, I think. So that’s my rant for today. Recovery is so very slow, and I expected to be much better by now, but I guess losing a lot of blood, especially when you are 80 years old, is really hard on the bod. I am getting better, but it is slow, slow, slow. Anyway.
“Civil disobedience is not our problem. Our problem is civil obedience. Our problem is that people all over the world have obeyed the dictates of leaders…and millions have been killed because of this obedience…Our problem is that people are obedient allover the world in the face of poverty and starvation and stupidity, and war, and cruelty. Our problem is that people are obedient while the jails are full of petty thieves… (and) the grand thieves are running the country. That’s our problem.” ― Howard Zinn
strangely peculiar 