There’s an article in the New York Times asking if antidepressants are effective. Having experience with that, I have a couple of thoughts.

I had clinical depression, which is very different from situational depression. Clinical depression is when your body chemistry gets screwed up, from what I understand. Situational depression is when you are in an untenable situation and once the situation is repaired or whatever, the depression no longer exists. There is no reason.

So I had clinical depression. It was later compounded by situational depression, so I had a double whammy. I was put on Zoloft, which aside from a mild headache the first few days, had no noticeable side effects. What it did was make me feel like myself. It was incredible. Like, ‘Oh, here I am. Glad to be back.” As it turned out, I was on it for whatever reasons for quite a long time. What I realized when I got off of it, was that while it is a life saver in the moment, and while you are still clinically depressed, after awhile it just kind of masks the problems of the situation depression. Problems not resolved, emotions not dealt with, whatever. It is like being hidden under a blanket and when it is removed, oh, look, you’re still there, with all your problems that you now have to finally figure out how to resolve. I recommend a good therapist. NOT one affiliated with any religion, however. I have friends who went that direction and it did not help them at all. Sorry, religious people.

So just thought I would throw that out there for anyone interested. When you are in the black hole, get help, get the meds, and then get the therapy. It can save your life. And yes, it is unbelievably hard to reach out for help when you are in the black hole, and I was lucky that my youngest recognized I was in serious trouble and took action. I have great kids. 🙂 But make the effort, however hard and fruitless it seems, do it anyway. Reach out to somebody, Anybody. But reach out. You are worth it. Seriously, you are.

I am 78 years old. How cool is that? Gorgeous day again, almost 60. Less pain today, but exhausted. Feels like all the energy i my body has drained out my toes, and just holding my head up is a chore. Fun times, people, fun times. So no cooking (or anything else for that matter) today. Yesterday I had a Healthy Choice meal. It was virtually inedible. Rubber chicken that tasted old and slightly spoiled, so dumped it and had Pork Shumai from Trader Joe’s instead. Will not be getting Healthy Choice again. I don’t normally buy them or Lean Cuisine or anything anyway, cause seriously, is any of that real food and low calorie at the expense of everything else that makes food good is not my idea of anything I ever want in my house. If it’s high calorie, just eat a bit less, and don’t eat it every single day. How hard is that? Calorie fanatics have ruined food. Especially frozen dinners. Some used to be quite tasty, and almost like you’d made it yourself. Tyson had one that was really good. Then the ‘OMG calories!’ people gained ground and bye bye tasty frozen dinners. Okay, enough whining about that for one day. LOL

Was talking to my children yesterday, as I mentioned, and it’s kind of disheartening how we are all so stressed about what is happening in the world. Even if we are doing our best to avoid the news and the negativity, you cannot not know what is happening. It’s like everything is going to hell all at the same time, and the worst thing about that is that humanity, instead of pulling together and working to find and actually enact solutions, instead immediately looks for someone else to hate and blame and persecute. It is who we are, it seems. We all agreed that quite frequently, we are ashamed to be members of our own species. How sad. It is such a beautiful world, and we just abuse it and certainly don’t appreciate what we have with it. As we do with each other and every other living species on the planet. Can’t fix it, try not to think too much about it, but it really is disturbing to the max.

On the bright side, I ordered a new phone yesterday, supposed to arrive tomorrow. It’s a cheapo moto G power, unlocked so I can keep using T-Mobile. I have bought moto phones since way back when I had to finally give up my Nokia flip-phone that DD 2 gave me. I loved that phone. Moto has worked well for me so why pay a fortune if I don’t have to, and I really, really do not like iPhones based on the ones my friends have. My homemaker has one, too, and it is really crap. Sorry, Apple, but it’s the truth. Personal opinion, but I really do not like. Anyway, am having it delivered to a friend’s house, because I may have mentioned packages are regularly stolen in my building. Relatively new phenomenon, but still very annoying and frustrating. The only plus there is that Amazon is very quick to refund my money. One of the good things Amazon still has going for them. Delivering to my door, like they used to, would eliminate the problem, but apparently one of the richest guys on the planet is too cheap to pay his workers well and give them humane working conditions. I would so dump Amazon if I could. In a heartbeat. But I can’t, because I am not mobile enough to do my own shopping, and even if I was, a lot of things I can only get from Amazon now. What a world. What a world. Thank you Wizard of Oz. LOL

That’s it for today. Have ten bazillion pages of paperwork to fill out for Housing, and have to get a copy of my Social Security Benefits letter. I just want to lie down and read good things on my Kindle. Ah, well. Be safe, people. In spite of what Fox News would like you to believe, the pandemic is NOT over and in some ways is getting worse. If you think you are immortal, remember that not everyone you come in contact with is immortal, too, and your devil-may-care attitude could kill them. ‘It’s not all about you’ is something humanity hasn’t guite gotten yet. We need to work on that.