One year ago today was the last time I went out under ‘normal’ circumstances. Of course, I didn’t know it was the last time. Went grocery shopping with my friend Tess, and we probably went to Dunkin’s for a frozen coffee, or to McDonald’s for a hot coffee. Our local Micky D’s makes really good coffee. Surprise.

One year ago tomorrow, my homemaker came for the last time. Again, I didn’t know it was the last time. I was becoming concerned about all the virus talk, so discussed with the agency and my caseworker what to do, and I decided to stop the service. You know, while this thing was going on. A month or two. HA! Several months later, I started it up again, but, as I’ve said here, she comes to the door and I give her lists, checks, laundry, trash, she leaves and comes back with groceries, clean laundry, whatever. All done through the doorway. No one has been in here but me for an entire year.

In that year, I have been out of this apartment six times. Two of those were down to the lobby to get packages because nobody delivers to my door anymore.

I have been out of this building four times. Once was a fire alarm, where everyone who was home wound up standing on the sidewalk while the fire department did their thing. It was idiots on the first floor carrying burning food through the hallway to throw it outside. OMG. And I was the only one wearing a mask, and they all stood in a clump outside the door so I walked upwind from them.

When this started, I was still recovering from being very ill in the previous December. Before covid, but what I had involved serious breathing issues. Got better, took about three months to get over the weakness from being ill. Never completely got over it, though. Did okay til June, when everything started to fall apart. Had been doing the cleaning and all myself, slowly and not really well, but still….and then I couldn’t again. Over time I have gotten weaker and more tired and in general just disintegrating, it seems. Lack of sunlight, probably. And no fresh air over the winter.

At least I have not gotten the virus, and not gone totally stir-crazy from being alone all the time. I was kind of used to being alone most of the time, anyway. Some people have been much less fortunate, and I blame the orange bastard for that. And all the propaganda the media has thrown out over the whole debacle. Really. Free speech is one thing, but deliberately putting out false information and inciting people to be stupid and violent and all the other crap that’s gone down? Something needs to change. It is just disgraceful what has and is going on.

I am feeling cautiously hopeful now that we have a new administration which seems to be actually doing positive things to make our lives better, even though I keep reading about how much they are made of fail. But that is the Republican ‘let’s create our own reality and see how many gullible morons fall for it’. Lots of gullible morons out there, as evidenced by the attempted overthrow of the government. I choose to be hopeful, I choose to look ahead to better times. We’ll see how that goes. Stay safe. Wear a mask. Don’t be a dick. Yours is not the only life at risk.