I don’t carry a bag. If it doesn’t fit into my pockets, it isn’t going with me When I used to carry a bag, most of my life, I would always have to go every where twice, kind of like Captain Jack, the second time to retrieve the bag I’d left there, So no bag. Here is my favorite one, though, made by my friend Tess for herself. I love this material. I was in a store once, and pulled out my little wallet to pay. The woman next to me looked at it, saw that I have pretty much everything I might need in it, and said something to the effect that why can’t she be that organized and have everything so compact so she could stop lugging around this heavy bag. Made me laugh. If you really think about what you actually ever use out of that bag, you’d ask yourself why you’re hauling the rest of it around all the time. This bag my friend made is very, very heavy. Nooooooo.
Did you know there is something called ‘executive dysfunction’? It’s kind of like when you can’t bring your focus to do the thing you want to do, and you wind up just sitting and reading or scrolling the web or staring out the window. Things I’ve always thought of as ‘stalling’, but not on purpose. It’s like you can’t get yourself together enough to act. Sort of. Anyway, another thing I’ve figured out about myself from Tumblr. All the things I always thought were just me, that there was something wrong with me that I couldn’t figure out, and it turns out that there is a thing called ‘executive dysfunction’, a thing called ‘social anxiety’, a thing called ‘Asperger’s Syndrome’, all real things that other people have as well. Actual things with actual names and studies about and it’s not just that I am lazy or crazy or scatterbrained, which I also used to think I was. Lots of people dis Tumblr for being all twelve-year old girls, but there is a lot of really good information on there, people’s personal experiences with issues that I have too. I’m not the only one. It doesn’t fix anything, but it sure helps to not feel you are just a useless, worthless human being.
I’m going to find out quite soon if I’m diabetic or it’s just the prednisone, which raises blood sugar. One more thing to deal with when I can barely cope with getting up in the morning. Oh, joy. I’m hoping for the prednisone to be the problem, because I am trying mightily to get myself off of it after five years of up and down dosages because my doctor is an idiot.
Also, I am so sick of feeling like crap all day every day. I want a life, please.