https://bookriot.com/fall-preorder-quiz This was spot-on. The book that was picked for me, Bewilderment by Richard Powers, is exactly the one I would have picked from the list. Interesting.

So, last night I was watching a movie in which you can hear some of the moon-landing conversation, and a guy saying, “Lift off. We have liftoff.”, and I remember that, and staying up late or getting up really early to watch liftoffs because Colorado is in a different time zone. Anyway, l suddenly had the thought that nothing is fun anymore. The excitement of watching a rocket with people in it shooting into space is just one thing. There was hope, and looking forward to new discoveries and dreaming of going to Disneyland and just a positive vibe about life. Now it feels like it’s just everybody hating everybody and some of us actively working to destroy our country and spouting nonsense that is causing untold numbers of our friends and neighbors to die of the plague, because stirring things up and spreading lies means ratings and profit. It seems you can’t trust anybody, especially where profit is involved. There is no pride in workmanship or putting out a quality product, because workers are treated like disposable, easily replaced pieces of machinery, and cost-cutting is the main goal, and a very few people have gathered all the wealth to themselves and do nothing but hoard it, when they could easily make everything so much better by using that wealth to fix things, and give people good lives. And all those who partiipated in whatever way in the insurrection and are plotting to take down the government they are part of, just walk around with no consequences for their actions.
And in spite of being warned for decades it is business as usual as the climate changes and life is radically changing as a consequence, and not for the better.

Also, I had to cancel my eye doctor appointment, because I was awake all night and just could not get it together enough to get ready. Frustration. I think I could cope better with the crap I mentioned here, except for the fact that the frustration of always feeling horrible and being almost completely unable to do anything I need or want to do is starting to really get to me. The prospect of another isolated winter is in the back of my mind, too. I almost never go outside, and boy do I wish I had even a tiny balcony I could put a chair on and sit outside, so I am looking like the pastiest, most washed-out, palest human around. I have a lot of UK ancestry, so I am already pretty pale as it is. Never going outside is not helping with that.

BTW, the movie I was watching is called “The Map of Tiny Perfect Things’, and it is kind of a Groundhog Day time loop movie but nothing like Groundhog day. I quite enjoyed it, and it was not at all what I was expecting. Check it out.

I will try to be more cheery next post. Sometimes life just gets to me.