Oh, Shit

My eldest DD thinks her family may have been exposed to the virus, and today, my chances just went up. You know how when you are stressed, exhausted and in pain because of a chronic, debilitating illness, a bunch of morons running your government, and back pain, among other things; your brain kind of goes on sabatical? Well, today, my temp homemaker came back from the shopping with her mask on her chin. I did not even notice, til she remembered and pulled it up. I was wearing mine, cause I always do when I’m at the door, thanks to youngest DD who insisted that I keep one on the doorknob. No idea about the health of the homemaker, but she does not work anywhere else, like my other one did, but just the idea that I am not paying attention to things I need to pay attention to is not comforting. Most days I feel like I am barely hanging on by my fingernails, I cannot get done what needs doing, I keep falling asleep at random intervals, it is hot and muggy and I can’t use the a/c because I cannot close and then reopen the windows when it cools off, so they are just staying open. Usually bearable, but we are having some serious heat alerts going on the past few days. Bah! Also, humbug! I need to get my act together, but I don’t really seem able to right now. Going to the kitchen to fill my water bottle usually results in such exhaustion that I have to lie down on the couch for awhile to recover. Sometimes I fall asleep, though. Too many obstacles in life right now. I just want to be ‘normal’ and get things done and have fun and maybe, some day, go outside again. I am a firm believer in just playing the hand you are dealt to the best of your ability, but sometimes, I wish for a magic wand that would just fix everything. Anybody?

You know how hard it is to find a ‘it’s not going well’ picture? Found this instead: Me as a teenager.

3 thoughts on “Oh, Shit

  1. Fun times. 😦 Did you Lysol and wipe everything down?

    Also, don’t push yourself. If you can’t get your act together, don’t. Just be.

    Also, that picture? Me, too. Especially now.

    • I did not. She was only in the doorway. I always let the mail and groceries sit for a few days first anyway, except for things that need the frig and freezer, and then they sit in there for a few days and I always wash my hands after putting them away. It’s the breathing that’s the real problem, but I did have my mask on. Wonder if we’re ever going to get those other masks. I hope that money wasn’t wasted, cause it was a really great thing to do.

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