Yesterday

Had a little, not exactly melt down, but crisis of confidence, maybe? Felt like I was crashing, became obsessively worried about my friend no longer wanting to be friends because she and her husband shop for me and take out the trash every other week, and it’s a burden on them, even though they say they are happy to do it, and a friend dropped me from her life not long after I got fibro, because she said I was ‘too needy’, not that I had asked her for anything, but god does shit stick with me forever. Better today.

Anybody have any ideas how to let go of the fear? That friend and I are still friends, because we talked about what happened, and she has been a great friend since, but always, always in the back of my mind is the idea that if I ask for just one thing too many, or even give the appearance of needing any kind of help, I will be left abandoned and have no one. Difficult childhood. What can I say?

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