Thinking About Trying Something New

I have been seriously struggling lately. Since I had to take my cat back to the shelter. Started feeling pointless. No one needs me. What is my purpose? Does not seem to be one. No reason to do anything.  Then there is the pain. I can barely function, and just upped the prednisone to 4mg in hopes it will help. Cannot get organized, physically or mentally. Just giving up. What’s the point of it all, anyway? I hate feeling like that, and usually, after a few days, something in me rallies and I gear up to try again. So here’s me geared up, and I thought maybe I would try to blog every day with certain items on repeat. What’s the weather like? How am I feeling today, physically and mentally? What I did yesterday, if anything. What I hope to accomplish today. What I’m looking forward to, if there’s ever anything to look forward to. That’s all I could come up with right now, but am open to suggestions. I plan to do this in the morning, and it’s now nearly 5pm, but I’ll give it a go anyway.

What’s the weather like?
Upper sixties, a bit hazy, not humid, thank you Mother Nature. Maybe I’ll try for a picture each day. Maybe. This is not this year’s picture here.  This year, the flowers popped out Saturday before last, and by this past Saturday, the leaves had won out.  Still some flowers, but other years they have lasted for weeks before the trees leafed out.  Disappointing, but weather is not like it used to be.  Was cold, cold, cold, warmed up all of a sudden.  Trees are confused, I think.  Me, too. 🙂

How am I feeling today?
Physically? Pain, always with the pain. Very little energy. Made coffee, made tea, made toast.

Mentally? Was foggy earlier, but better now. Trying to buck myself up, sir. (little private joke my kids will get. Maybe.)

What did I do yesterday?
Laid on the couch, read and watched tv. I don’t have cable, just my subscriptions. NO commercials. NO TRUMP! Heaven. I have a ton of subscriptions, though. Netflix, Hulu, the HBO trial on Hulu, Masterpiece, Britbox, Prime, among others. It’s a good thing. Was going to watch Game of Thrones, but as soon as it started, I remembered how bloody the book was, and decided to skip it. Although all that snow was just gorgeous. I love snow.  I did watch all the Harry Potter movies, though.

What do I hope to accomplish today?
Well, I have a long list of things I wanted to get done, so far I have done none of them. I am going to pay my bills after this, though. Yay, me.

What am I looking forward to?
I’d like to be looking forward to getting my new cat, but I still haven’t totally convinced myself getting one is a good idea. I was pretty thrown by the whole Luna experience, and am not sure I want to go through that again. Part of me feels horribly guilty for reneging on my commitment to her, and part of me is relieved that she’s not around to try putting my eye out. And then there’s the disappointment and, yes, anger, with the shelter over the whole thing. Another consideration is my homemaker, who was brought up surrounded by voodoo, which he says is just evil, evil, evil, and which practice uses cats as weapons. He is afraid of cats, understandably. He was bitten by a dog as a child, and is afraid of dogs, too, but not an issue here. I always wanted to get another dog, but I am not going to be able to walk it, so there’s no point. Oh, well.

So that’s it.  We’ll see how it goes.  I am totally unreliable.  I make plans, but just never seem able to follow through.  Frustrating.  Chronic illness sucks, people.  Seriously.

6 thoughts on “Thinking About Trying Something New

  1. I use ‘buck up, sir’ a lot, and the whole thing still cracks me up.

    The Piechart of Procrastination should be on my wall. 😉

    You matter. And I love you. Very much.

  2. Yes, the Piechart of Procrastination. The sign of my times. LOL Thanks. You matter, too, and I also love you very much. I am feeling much better just from writing it all down. That always seems to help. I am a verbal person. Blah, blah, blah. 😉

  3. Love that piechart. And I think you could get another cat, maybe the most non-threatening one you can find in another shelter? Definitely not a black one! Any time a cat gets to spend not in a shelter but a home has to be a good thing. And everyone needs something to snuggle up with.

    • I have no problem with black cats. Gertrude was mostly black. I’ve never in my life encountered a viscious cat, until Luna. I think they have put her on Prozac to see if it helps. Not generally afraid of animals, but unpredictable attacking is a no-no. 🙂

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